Luigifreak (the guy who's writing this): Naruto, please give us the disclaimer.

Naruto: Nobody owns me! Ha!

Kishimoto: Actually, I own you.

Minato: And I would own you if I weren't dead right now...

Sasuke: I totally pwned you in that battle, admit it, dobe.

Naruto: Fine, fine, whatever.

Also, this fanfic was inspired by the idea of DtecnoKira, who in turn, was inspired by kagescorpionakki. A few other people also implemented this idea into their fanfics, so who knows who the original writer is? However, I will do something somewhat different, in that each chapter features one character's own oneshot, and there will be some kind of...unusual plot. :P

Shikamaru: Troublesome...Let's just get this over with, I really need to go home and play some Strip Shogi with Temari.

Luigifreak: Strip...shogi?!...What's wrong with you?!

-And one more detail to keep in mind, this fic mostly takes place pre-timeskip, but right after the Sasuke Retrieval Arc. Also, Sasuke was successfully rescued by Naruto, his curse mark was removed, and Orochimaru didn't molest Sasuke! Yay!

Chapter 1: Naruto's Fic!

Naruto slowly woke up to the bitter, medical fumes of Konoha Hospital, remembering only one thing. He slammed his Rasengan a split second before Sasuke could jab his Chidori, and Naruto dodged enough of it that Sasuke laid unconscious while he carried him fifty meters home. Then, he succumbed to fatigue and fainted on the spot. Kakashi took them both back to Konoha, and everything would be fine. For now, at least, until madness starts to ensue.

Naruto rubbed his eyes slowly, seeing something...someone...with pale skin, blue hair, and lavender eyes, one that he could only recognize as...

"Hinata? Is that you? Were you here for this whole time?" Naruto asked, before she literally just collapsed to the ground, her face looking like an overgrown tomato.

A medical ninja came into Naruto's room, wearing an apron, with pink hair and green eyes. She said, "Heh, looks like Hinata fainted...again. What did you do this time, baka? Oh, and to answer your question, she was only here for the last 114 hours."

"114...hours?! What the hell?! How long was I out?!" Naruto panicked.

Sakura replied simply, "About a week," before Naruto burst out, "Crap! Sasuke-teme could've stolen all my ramen by now! He knows where my house is! MY RAMEN!"

Sakura smacked Naruto in the cheek, calming him down, and said, "Look, baka, Sasuke-kun isn't going anywhere for a long time. He's being held on trial...I hope he doesn't get arrested!...But you still kept your promise. Thanks for that, Naruto."

"No prob, Sakura-chan, now I gotta check on my instant ramen! If anyone ate them, I'll Rasengan them up their ass all the way to Suna!" Naruto yelled, before running off to check his ramen.

After an unusually high amount of glares from visitors, apparently because he got the Last Uchiha sent to a trial, Naruto found a paper stapled to the front of his house.

"Damned ads...Might as well read this one..."

Konoha's 1st Annual Essay Contest

Submit an essay or something of the type, about 1,000 words long,

to the Hokage's office, and they will be sent to an undecided

website. Once the website is decided, the reviews which viewers leave

will determine your standings in the contest. Prize money

will be 10 million ryo. Oh, and Naruto...

USE THE GODDAMN SPELL CHECK!!

-Tsunade, 5th Hokage

"Hmph! I'll show baa-chan how good of a writer I am! People take me for granted, but just look at these abs! Wait...what do abs have to do with writing?..." Naruto said out loud, ignoring the people staring at his rant, and he went inside, booting up his 11-year old computer.

'Hm...Gotta think of an idea...Ha, I got it! I'll make a story about how good of a ninja I am! That'll teach Sasuke-teme to betray us all!"

(A/N: Keep in mind, I'm trying to keep Naruto in character because Naruto's just being Naruto by spelling everything wrong.)

Naruto's Oneshot/Fic

Title: I are teh GreaTest nInja! And RamEn rulez!

Rating: T

Summary: I are Naruto and I am teh Greatest Ninja alive! Pairings: Narusaku, Sasu/Nobody! Ha, in your face, Sasuke! HA!!

I are Naruto and i am in teh villege of Konoa, were there r ninjas and all dat cool shit. its pretty awesome here, would be awesomer if teh villegerz werent liek all "U suck majoorly Narutard!"

and im all liek, "U know wat? suck it bitch!" and they all leaves me alone.

I liek luvved Sakura Haruno for my hole life! Well maybe only a couple of months but she only lieks Saske-teme and Saske-temes a compleet douchebag! he always shows off acts cool and tries 2 beet me at everything, and i bet he watches gay pron all teh time bekuz he always avoids girlz who lieks him like Sakra and Ino, and Sakra's not even dat bad looking!

but anyway, our Sensay is Kakasi sensei and hes teh man, altho like the girlz, he only pays atention to Saske, and maybee hes gay also cuz he only goes to Saske-teme liek teh girls. anyway, Saske wood be nothin without Kakasi anyway becuz Kakasi taut Saske his Cheetos-ree or Cheedori or watever. i dunno how to spel dat. (A/N: He doesn't know how to spell ANYTHING!)

Our team was all liek walking down teh street to get our uber-pwnage awsome mission from baa-chan Soonade, and i see Hinata who has sum kind of allergy cuz she turnin pink and all dat. Its cool wit me, at least she aint done nothin to me yet, shes super nice and all, but id probably rather go out with Sakura-chan cuz she all hot and cute u know? But wenever i ask, i get all punchd and maybe i mite liek Hinata better cuz when i becum Hoekage, if shes my wife, she wont punch me in teh face all day. itll be liek so painless and awesome. But she liek never talks and Sakura-chans much hotter, so ya.

Oh, and we just arrivd at baa-chans office and I liek trip on a rock and every1s just liek, "u stoopid dobe" or "naruto ur a baka" and Kakasi givs me a bandage but cmon! its liek completely normal 2 trip once in awile, u knows?

We go into Soonade baa-chans office and trust me, she looks hawt, but shez liek a gramma and shes uber-old, u dun wanna date her. trust me. I relize i said dat out loud and Soonade baa-chan smacked me ucross teh head, sendin me flying and i hit my hed to teh wall. "OW taht hurt!" i sed before she smirked and told us our mission. OMFG AN A-RANKKED MISSION! I AM SOOOO HAPPIE! Liek im gonna pwnzor Saske-teme and show Sakra-chan how awesome i am!

On teh mission, enemy ninjas atack, and Saske gets out his shurriken and trows it at a guy but he misses because hes gay and he sucks ass. liek the enemy totally pwnd Saske and one guy finaly choped Saske-temes head of. Every1 was liek surprized and Sakura-chan wuz cryin and all but i was laffin' out loud, IT WAS SO FUNNY! Saske sucks dis much as a ninja! hes pathetic! Then i kill the enemiez wit my tottaly awesome n00b-pwnzoring RASENNGAN!! And they all splat blood and Sakura-chan forgetz all about Saske-teme and she hugz me cuz im awesom like taht. "i luve you Naruto-kun!" Sakra sez.

"I luv u too!" i say and we both huged all day. Lat'r dat day, i see Hinata so shes all liek, "w-w-w-w-w-wanna go out wit me Naruto-kun?" and im liek, "sry but im taken, Sakura-chans dating me, but theres alwayz kiba." and she liek starts 2 cry four sum reason, but kibas givin a big smile and shino just smacked him on teh head and now he got a huge bump! LOL!

16 yearz later:

Sakra-chans still beauteeful and we have liek 25 chldrenz. They r all awsome and i am Hoekage liek teh awesomest ninja in teh whole villege and Sakura-chan is liek an ANBU. But i dun get it...Y is Hinata crying? she got married to kiba, and they is supposed 2 be happy! O well. Oya and i eats ramen every day now cuz im Hoekage and im all awesome and crap. Yay!

The End!

Naruto smiled gleefully at his newly-written essay, thinking it would get him the long-awaited title of Hokage just because it's so well-written! 'I gotta run to baa-chan!' Naruto thought, and he did just that. But first, Naruto unfortunately bumped into a black crow's butt! No, wait, that's just Sasuke!

"Watch it, dobe!...Wait, what's this?" Sasuke asked, picking up Naruto's fresh fanfic, going over it and sneering at it even more with each line.

"This is pathetic, you know that?! Half of the words are spelled wrong and I would never die before you do, because I am superior, and even worse, I will NEVER watch gay porn. Understand, dobe?! Now put this piece of trash in the recycling bin..."

"Oh, yeah?! This essay's awesome, believe it! And I've seen you read Icha-Icha: The Special Yaoi Edition! Don't lie to me, teme!" Naruto flared back.

"...Tell anyone and you DIE," Sasuke said, firmly, sending chills up Naruto's spine, as he continued to rush to Tsunade's office. Once he got there, he found a computer, but it had the strangest title for a webpage.

Fanfiction dot Net.

So, what did everyone think? I intend to have all of the characters make one fanfic, in their point of view, or otherwise about them. Also, what should the characters spazz about on Fanfiction Net? The Yaoi? Yuri? Crack pairings? Should Sakura smack Naruto over the head because of all the Narusaku's on the site? Let me know :)