A spinoff from my story 'The Good Morrow'. Very AU, only uses the chacracters from the story with a few references to earlier scenes in the story.

A little peek at what a day in the Marauder & Co's lives whould have been had Tom Riddle never become Voldemort.

Ok, well, perhaps a look at a particularly eventful day in their lives...

"Statistically you are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by the bite of a poisonous spider", - Libra 'Odd Spot' No. 24

La Mort Par Champagne

Un mystère de meurtre par Anya Violetta

xxxxx

For all my wonderful readers

xxxxx

The sun filtered through the half-drawn blinds and Helen smiled as she roused from her sleep, feeling rested and content as a thin ray of light warmed her cheek.

Slowly, she opened her eyes and could not have woken up to a nicer image as she smiled at Sirius who was sleeping opposite her. He looked so serene that no one who did not know him would believe that he was the ringleader of the infamous 'Marauders' who were known for their ways with women almost as much as they were known for their pranks and general disregard of rules.

No. Now he looked the very picture of innocence. Well… almost. The mischievous smile which graced his lips ever so slightly always sold him out and Helen frowned as she wondered what her dear husband was dreaming about that such a smile was present on his lips…

Then, she decided that she probably didn't want to know and was quite content to just watch him. He was, after all, blessed with a most handsome face.

Her little trance of self-congratulatory musing at having found herself such an attractive man, however, was cut short as there was an impatient knocking at the door.

'Mummy! Daddy!'

Helen felt Sirius stirring next to her.

'Up already?' he asked, sitting up and kissing her lingeringly.

Helen had often read and been told that marriage would zap the 'zest' out of love, but she had never found this to be the case. She still felt that same electricity coursing through her veins as Sirius kissed her now, as she did when he first properly kissed her in that fateful 'spin the bottle' game of so long ago.

'Good morrow to you too,' Helen grinned, ruffling his hair a little.

'Mummy! Daddy! Why is the door locked?'

Helen and Sirius exchanged a look.

'You'll learn one day,' Helen muttered, looking for her wand.

Sirius looked mortified.

'My little girl most certainly will never…'

Helen pecked his lips and leant over and borrowed his wand to summon his shirt.

For a second, she wondered how his shirt had ended up behind the desk, but then remembered their activities from the night before and blushed.

It had been quite a night.

'Alas, it is a fact of life, mon cheri, that your darling little angel will grow up one day,' she said to him, making herself decent in wearing his shirt.

The door suddenly burst open and both Sirius and Helen looked at Anka, slightly shocked.

'She gets that from you,' Sirius said to Helen, who nodded numbly; her daughter was already using wandless magic.

Anka needed no invitation. She marched into the room and climbed onto their bed.

'Why wouldn't you let me in?' she demanded, making herself quite comfortable between her parents.

'We were still sleeping. You woke us up,' Helen said, kissing Anka's forehead.

'Hmph,' Anka said, her eyes disapproving at having been made to wait. 'When's Harry coming over again?'

Anka usually had a way of making everything she said or asked sound like a demand.

'For dinner,' Sirius said, a mischievous glint in his eyes.

Helen knew what this glint was. Lily had found out about James' plans to convert their garage into an indoor quidditch pitch just after Sirius and James had bought all the materials. This, of course, resulted in a marathon screaming match between the two and a life sentence of celibacy to James so long as he was married to Lily.

The Marauders (more specifically, James and Sirius) were never ones to let things go to a waste, however. This is, of course, conveniently forgetting the time in which the two of them had single-handedly ruined three whole sets of lasagne ingredients…

But this fiasco was put at the back of their minds, never to be thought of or, God forbid, mentioned again.

Therefore, in keeping with their ideology-which is morally and ethically questionable at times- both Sirius and James were determined not to let the expensive equipment which James had bought to go to waste. It was such that Sirius came up with the ingenious idea that he should pay James for the materials and build the indoor quidditch pitch in his backyard instead. It was quite a flawless plan, really. James would be at liberty to use it whenever he pleased, and they would both have a pitch which they could access by either walking out of the back door (in Sirius' case) or by a quick apparition (in James' case).

The fact that the both of them had forgotten to inform Helen of this development in her back yard conveniently never crossed their minds. Helen was naturally aware of the development due to the fact that Sirius had mindlessly discussed the plans in front of Anka who had relayed the information faithfully to her mother after the very quick and painless bribe of chocolate cake. Sirius, however, was not yet aware that Helen knew and- as she was not actually opposed to the idea of an indoor quidditch pitch- Helen had made the tactical decision to say nothing about it yet. She was still formulating the best way she could bring it up so as to make Sirius feel as guilty as possible.

It was these thoughts regarding the pitch which now took hold of Sirius' mind as he, Helen and Anka sat in bed on that Sunday morning. Something Anka said, however, brought his thoughts back to the scene.

'And will Uncle Prongs be coming too?'

What could he say? His daughter called James 'Uncle Prongs.'

He loved her.

'Yes, he will…' Sirius grinned, making a mental not to inform James of his new title.

Anka smiled happily at this news and lay back between Helen and Sirius.

The three of them stared at the ceiling.

'Ma cherie?'

'Mm?' Helen and Anka responded in unison.

Sirius laughed.

'Sorry, Anka, but you're 'ma petite cherie.' I was talking to my 'grande cherie', he said.

Helen shot him an annoyed look.

'I don't want to be a 'grande' anything, thank you very much. I still have a good while before your 'petite cherie' has grandchildren for me to become a 'grande-mare'.'

Sirius stiffened and hugged Anka to him.

'You won't ever leave home, will you Anka?' he said to her in his extremely coercive tone.

'Where else would I go?' Anka frowned.

Sirius grinned, although Helen was a little concerned by its possessive edge.

'That's my girl… of course there's no where else for you to go,' he said, very seriously.

Anka looked confused for a few moments before shrugging and busying herself with playing with Helen's ring.

'You were saying, mon cheri?' Helen asked, raising her eyebrows at Sirius.

'Yes, I've got to go into the office for a bit after breakfast. Some paperwork to catch up on,' he said airily, not quite meeting her eyes.

'On a Sunday?' Helen said dubiously.

'Hmm,' Sirius said, becoming interested with what Anka was doing with his wife's ring.

Helen looked at him apprehensively for a bit longer before sitting up.

'Well, I'm going to take a shower,' she said, going off to the bathroom.

Helen's reaction to Sirius' statement had not taken him by surprise at all; silent, yet brooding.

'Come on,' he said, nudging Anka. 'Let's make breakfast for mummy.'

'No daddy! What are you doing?' Anka said, frowning at the pancake which Sirius had flipped and was now stuck on the ceiling.

'Erm…' he said, scratching his head.

'You're not very good at cooking. You have five on the roof so far… I think mummy's going to be angry with you,' she nodded in a hushed whisper.

'Hmm,' Sirius said, his expression calculating as he looked back to the picture of the chef in the cooking book who was flipping the pancakes with élan.

There were footsteps coming from the steps and both father and daughter exchanged fearful looks.

Helen came in, freshly showered, and sighed at the sight of the two- their faces and clothes covered in flour and pancake batter.

'Mon cheri,' she said, a certain bite to her tone, 'I thought that we had established at seventeen that cooking and yourself are mutually exclusive. Might I ask why you decided to try your hand at the art again?' she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Sirius bit his lip which threatened to twitch and Anka started giggling as she looked from Helen to Sirius and back to her mother again.

Helen kept staring at the two of them for a few seconds longer- enough to be dramatic and to get her point across- before her face cracked into a smile and she walked up to Sirius and kissed him, ignoring Anka who made disgusted noises.

'Ah, sit down, my two hopeless cooks. I'll make sure that you don't starve,' she sighed.

Sirius and Anka gladly took their seats at the kitchen table whilst Helen clicked her tongue and cleaned their mess.

xxx

As soon as they had eaten and Sirius had made Anka laugh so much that she choked on her orange juice, Sirius got up to leave.

'Okay, gotta go,' he said, kissing the two women (well… one woman and one girl) on the tops of their heads and going to leave.

As she saw him leaving, Helen (who had many different voices screaming different versions s to where Sirius was actually going in her mind) burst out:

'Can you take Anka with you?'

Sirius turned around, looking puzzled.

Of course, he knew the real reason for why Helen wanted him to take Anka.

'It's just that I…er….I…need to go…. Shopping! Yes, shopping… and there'll be crowds and… Surely, if you're going to just do some paper work, she can just sit on the end of your desk and colour in,' she finished hopefully.

Sirius tried to prevent his lips from twitching.

'Okay,' he shrugged.

'Yes?' Helen said in disbelief.

'Yeah, okay,' Sirius said. 'Come on 'little monster.' Go get your colouring book,' he said to Anka, patting her head.

Anka wrinkled her nose. She hated it when Sirius or James called her 'little monster.' Naturally, she did not wonder or stop to think that perhaps the reason why they called her a 'little monster' was because she actually was one… no. She detested the name and that was that.

She much preferred 'ma petite cherie' or, even better, her proper name; Anka.

Nevertheless, Anka, excited at the prospect of going to work with her daddy, sprung up and, armed with her colouring book, looked up at Sirius expectantly.

He laughed.

'Okay then. See you,' he said to Helen.

'Bye mummy,' Anka waved, taking Sirius' hand.

And, with a 'crack', they were both gone.

'Maybe he actually does have work,' Helen mused to herself, shrugging and feeling a little guilty for suspecting Sirius of lying to her. 'Oh well. I suppose I might as well get the shopping done now.'

And with a crack, she too was gone.

Helen apparated back to the house that afternoon, feeling exhausted. She wasn't particularly sure why, seeing as the weekend had been rather restful and she had managed to get decent amounts of sleep lately…

Shrugging, she started to put away the groceries. As she was arranging the fruit in the fruit bowl, however, she felt a sudden pain in her lower abdomen.

'Damn you, Sirius, for telling me to become an auror instead of a healer,' she thought as the wrenching became more acute.

When the pain had not gone after five minutes, however, she disapparated to St Mungo's.

xxx

'Helen, you're pregnant,' Marina told her, looking at the results of Helen's blood test.

Helen stared at Marina stupidly.

'No.'

'What do you mean, 'no'?' Marina frowned. 'Would you like me to repeat the test?'

'No, well… yes… but it's not possible that I'm pregnant because….'

She trailed off.

'I'm going to kill him,' she said finally.

Marina raised her eyebrows.

'He must have forgotten to take the potion,' Helen seethed.

Marina shook her head at Helen.

'Don't forget, there's a one percent chance of failure with the potion,' she reminded Helen.

Helen bit her lip, looking distracted.

'Is the news… unwelcome?' Marina asked Helen tentatively.

'I don't know,' Helen confessed, looking at her hands.

She didn't know whether the news was good or not. Life at the moment was pretty much perfect… would another baby ruin that?

She sighed.

Either way, she would tell Sirius tonight and they could discuss it. In a way, she was a little frightened that he might not want another child…

She thanked Marina, reminded her not to tell Remus, and that they were both to be at her and Sirius' house for the group's weekly catch-up dinner at seven.

When she arrived back home, Sirius and Anka were already home and playing a game of chess which Sirius was deliberately losing.

'Where're the groceries?' Sirius frowned as Helen walked into the living room numbly and flopped onto the couch.

'Oh…I… I already went and um… we need to talk,' she said, her voice shaking slightly.

'Mummy, are you okay?' Anka asked, looking up from the chess board looking concerned.

Helen forced a tight smile.

'I'm fine, darling… Hey, why don't you go to the back garden and pick out some flowers for the table tonight?' she asked.

Sirius shot her a questioning look which Helen ignored.

Anka nodded happily and skipped out of the living room to go outside; ever happy to show off any skills of hers and knowing that, should she pick many flowers and arrange a nice bouquet, she would receive much attention that night.

And she also wanted to pick a flower for Harry too…

Helen waited to hear the back door shut before she turned to Sirius who had a confused look on his face.

She sighed and walked over to his armchair and he pulled her to sit on his lap.

'What's wrong?' he asked, kissing her neck and trailing the kisses down to her shoulder.

Helen closed her eyes for a moment.

'I'm pregnant,' she said slowly, her head too numb from the news to put any more effort into the delivery of the news to him.

He paused kissing her.

'Eh?'

She turned to look at him, incredulously.

'I tell you that I'm pregnant and all you can say is 'eh'?' she said, her voice shaking dangerously as she wrenched herself out of his arms and stood up.

'Wait… how can you be… you know? I take the potion…'

'Well I don't bloody know,' she shouted at him. 'If you don't want it, just say so. You don't have to draw it out so…'

His eyes widened as he understood, finally, why she was so upset.

'You think I don't want it?' he said softly, and deciding that it was now safe to go up to her as her eyes stating to shine with what could turn into tears.

'Well, you don't seem too thrilled by the news,' she mumbled, looking away as he cupped her cheek gently.

He laughed quietly and hugged her to him.

'I was shocked; I mean, it was very unexpected, but of course I want us to keep it,' he said into her hair. 'Unless…. Are you okay with that?'

She laughed weakly and hugged him to her more tightly.

'Sorry, I didn't mean to shout at you. I just… I was just scared of your reaction, and I think I'm still in shock,' she admitted.

He held her back a little so he could kiss her properly.

As they were doing so- and almost on the verge of getting carried away as Sirius' hands were inching their way higher and higher under the back of her blouse- they separated due to a most disapproving noise.

'Mu-um, da-ad, that's disgusting,' Anka complained, presenting Helen with her slightly-massacred bouquet of daisy flowers.

They both smiled at each other and then at Anka.

'Anka, we have some news for you,' Sirius said to her, sitting down with Helen on the couch and seating Anka his knee.

'Do I have a present?' she asked, her eyes lighting up excitedly.

Helen and Sirius frowned.

'I reckon it's a good thing we're having another one,' Sirius muttered to Helen. 'This one's far too spoiled.'

Helen nodded. It was true; Anka was a child spoiled rotten.

'Anka,' Helen continued, feeling Sirius take her hand as she said this. 'Mummy's going to have a baby in a few months. That means you're going to have a new brother or a new sister,' she said.

Anka stared from Helen to Sirius before springing up.

'Don't you love me?' she asked, tears springing to her eyes.

'What? Anka, why would you think that?' Helen said, taking her little arm.

Anka took it away.

'Why do you want another baby? You have me!'

Sirius shook his head at her.

'Anka, of course we love you! Don't you want a little sister or brother to play with?' Sirius said.

Anka sniffed affectedly and ran out of the room.

'Look at her,' Helen said morosely. 'Four years old… it's your fault she's like this. If you didn't turn to putty each time she pouted at you, she'd have much more discipline by now and wouldn't be half as selfish.'

Sirius rolled his eyes.

'Should we go find her?'

'No. She's probably off sulking in her room. I wouldn't put it past her to start dressing up after five minutes for our guests. Such an attention-seeker, our daughter is,' she said, shaking her head. 'She gets that from you.'

'So,' Sirius said, 'everything that went wrong with her she gets from me, or is my fault, and everything that's good is from you?' he said, raising his eyebrows.

Helen grinned and nodded.

'Glad you understood it so quickly,' she said, leaning forward and kissing him.

After a while, they separated and Sirius looked into her eyes.

'How far along are you?' he half-whispered, his breathing becoming a little shallow as he placed his hand where her womb was.

'Four months,' Helen whispered back, placing her hand over his, where it was rested on her belly.

And, as she looked into his eyes at that moment, she felt herself becoming suffused with even more love for him as she saw the love and happiness in his eyes at the idea that she was carrying their second child.

He then bent down, lifted her top, pulled down her skirt a little, and placed a kiss where it was slightly curved.

He hadn't even noticed the change in her body before now. He felt her fingers twirling his hair as he kissed her there and smiled.

Life was just getting better and better, it seemed.

'Anka, do you want to help me with the icing for the cake?' Helen called from outside Anka's room.

She heard an annoyed noise and sighed as she entered Anka's room.

Anka was lying on her bed, colouring in. She had added a feather boa as an accessory to her neck and was wearing (much to Helen's displeasure) a pair of her mother's high heels.

Helen took them off Anka's feet and removed the feathers from her daughter's neck.

Anka really was a drama queen.

'Did you have fun with daddy at work?' she asked Anka, smoothing down her hair.

'We didn't go to work,' Anka said sulkily.

Helen sat up, taken aback.

'Where did you go?' she asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

'We met a friend of daddy's. She's very beautiful; she wore lots of diamonds,' Anka said, thinking of all the diamonds which she had worn, and her expensive clothes, with envy.

Helen felt the colour draining from her face now.

'Who… who is this friend of daddy's?'

'I'm not allowed to tell you. It's a secret,' Anka said indifferently, continuing to colour whilst sniffing affectedly every few seconds.

Unfortunately, Anka was yet to understand tact when keeping secrets.

Helen was about to say something but the doorbell rang, signalling the arrival of their guests.

She drew a steady breath and tried to tell herself to be calm.

Helen handed the wine to her two girlfriends and was about to pour one for herself- she really did need a drink after Anka's news- when Marina made a noise which she quickly turned into a cough.

Helen suddenly realised her mistake and put the bottle down.

'Actually, I might just have water,' she said, wondering who it was whom Sirius was having an affair with, and feeling very angry that he even took Anka with him to meet the whore.

Lily looked at Helen strangely.

'I've never known you to refuse alcohol before,' she mused. 'Apart from when you were pregnant, of course,' she added.

Helen nearly dropped her glass of water.

'Helen! Another one! That's great!' James boomed, sweeping into kitchen and smacking a loud kiss on Helen's cheek.

Remus also came in and hugged and kissed her in congratulations.

Helen glowered at Sirius.

'We said that we would tell them all together,' she said snappily, and unable to look him in the eye.

Sirius grinned sheepishly.

'Wh…'

'I'm pregnant,' Helen said in response to the question Lily was forming.

Lily's eyes widened and she hugged Helen tightly.

'That's wonderful! Congratulations!' she exclaimed.

'Hmm,' Helen said, trying not to think of how horrific it would be to be pregnant and alone whilst Sirius was off with some other woman…

'Mummy, mummy, can you put the video on? I want to show Harry,' Anka interrupted, tugging at Helen's sleave and bringing her out of her reverie.

Because it was an excellent way of escaping the congratulations and smiles which everyone seemed to be bestowing upon her, Helen took Anka's and Harry's hand and led them into the 'play' room.

xxx

'That's the right one,' Anka nodded, satisfied now that they had finally found the right video. 'Come here,' she said to Harry, taking his hand and leading him to share her bean bag.

'Dinner will be soon,' Helen reminded the two kids, trying to fight the urge to throw off her shoes and join them in watching Disney films on the beanbags so as to escape her situation.

Eventually, she gave up and, with a sigh, left the two children on their own.

'Mummy's going to have a baby,' Anka told Harry as soon as the door closed.

'Really? You're so lucky. I want mum and dad to give me a brother,' he said.

Anka went to tell him that he was luckier to be an only child, but then rethought her views; perhaps if Harry said it was a good thing, it wasn't so bad after all…

'I wonder how baby's come,' she pondered aloud.

Harry frowned as he looked at the screen.

'Grandma Emily said that a stork brings them to the doorstep,' he suggested.

Anka shook her head.

'Mummy said that I came from her tummy.'

'But how did you get in there?' Harry tried to reason.

Anka seemed stumped on this point.

'I don't remember…. Do you?'

He shook his head sombrely.

They both adopted calculating expressions as they looked back to the screen. After five minutes, they both blushed when they saw Robin kissing Maid Marian.

'Mummy and daddy do that all the time. It's disgusting,' Anka said uncomfortably to Harry.

She felt squeamish watching that next to Harry.

'I sometimes see mum and dad kissing,' he offered. 'But they don't do it all the time. Mum usually hits him when he tries.'

An uncomfortable silence ensued.

'I wonder why they do it,' Anka said quietly.

Harry glanced at her.

'Do you…'

He bit his lip and swallowed, blushing furiously.

Anka looked at him hopefully.

'Yes?'

'Never mind,' he said dismissively. 'Did I tell you? Dad took me flying today on his broom!'

Anka slumped back on the couch, feeling highly disappointed.

'Now, where's that Wormtail?' Sirius said to James and Remus as they sat in the drawing room.

'He'll come… he's just busy with the ladies these days,' Remus said, grinning.

James laughed.

'He seems to have taken your title of the 'bachelor extraordinaire', mate,' James laughed, clapping Sirius on the back.

'Just because I'm married, it doesn't mean that I'm any less wanted,' Sirius said.

Unfortunately for our poor protagonist, she happened to walk into the drawing room with appetisers to hear her husband saying his last comment.

And that hardly did anything to appease her ever-present worries.

She stared at the three friends, feeling positively ill.

So it was true; Sirius really was cheating on her.

Sirius, however, was oblivious to this. Upon seeing her, he was merely reminded of the fact that she was indeed pregnant.

'You know what? I think we should celebrate tonight… I'll be right back with some champagne,' he said, standing up and apparating away.

Helen clenched her fists at the thought that he might have been stopping off for a quickie with his anonymous lover. Before she could set anything on fire or shatter any vases, however, the doorbell rang and she became momentarily distracted.

'Hello Peter,' she said, forcing a smile and welcoming him in.

Peter hardly resembled the bumbling, buck-toothed boy he was at school anymore. A well-paid job, coupled with a gym membership including a personal trainer, a good dentist and hair stylist, better fashion sense, and frequent sex had transformed him into quite an attractive and eligible bachelor.

He was the only one of his Marauder friends yet to settle down and get married.

'Why, don't you look pretty tonight,' he said, pulling her to him and kissing Helen a little too lingeringly on the cheek for her liking. 'Then again, you're a doll all the time, so my comment is redundant.'

Helen was annoyed that she blushed at such comments. If Sirius hadn't been cheating on her, such false flattery would simply have gone in one ear and out the other.

'Oh, you're sweet,' she said to him, kissing his cheek.

James and Remus walked into the hallway and both looked at Helen and Peter a little strangely, having just witnessed this kiss, but then shrugged and walked up and greeted their mate.

xxx

Sirius soon returned with the champagne, but, upon hearing that Peter had finally arrived, left it in the pantry to go say hello.

As soon as Sirius disappeared, Harry and Anka crept into the kitchen, careful to remain stealthy.

'I don't like the way Uncle Peter looks at my mummy,' Anka said disapprovingly to Harry.

'Me neither. I think Uncle Padfoot should do something about him. Uncle Peter always tries to… touch me,' he finished uncomfortably.

Anka wrinkled her nose.

'I know. He's disgusting… I don't know why mummy and daddy are friends with him.'

'Hmmm.'

'James! Anka! Come say hello to Uncle Peter!' Lily called from the other room.

They both exchanged horrified looks and ran to the pantry to hide.

'You're pregnant?' Peter said in disbelief, not doing well at masking his disappointment.

Helen nodded quickly.

'Yes… I'll just go check on the kids,' she said, making a beeline for the door.

All this pregnancy talk made the fact that Sirius was cheating on her a million times harder to deal with.

'She looks a bit stressed out,' Remus remarked.

'Hmm,' Sirius said, shrugging. 'How about we crack the champagne? I just bought some…'

'I'll get it,' Peter volunteered, wanting to see Helen alone. 'I need a glass of water anyway.'

'Thanks mate,' Sirius grinned, sitting down with everyone else on the couch and armchairs. 'It's in the pantry.'

xxx

'Oi Pete! What's taking so… fucking hell! Marina! We need you here!' Sirius said, aghast, kneeling by his friend's dead body and shaking Peter desperately to wake him up.

Marina ran into the room from where she had been in the bathroom and gasped.

'Oh my God!' she exclaimed, doing her best to generate a pulse.

Remus came in the room from the back door, James ran in from the drawing room, and Lily and Helen ran in separately; all gaping at Peter's dead body.

'He's… dead,' Marina said quietly, standing up.

'How?' James whispered, horrified.

Lily knelt by Peter's body and picked up the champagne cork.

Had he not been one of their best friends, they would have laughed at the absurdity of the idea that Peter should be killed by a champagne cork.

But, he was their best friend and all they could do was stare, in shock, at the dead body of their friend.

It was only when Lily fainted- caught just in time by James- that they all realised that something had to be done.

Half an hour later, they were all sitting, huddled, in the living room; a deathly silence hanging in the air which had everything to do with the body which had now started its decomposition process in the kitchen, soaked in expensive French champagne.

Anka and Harry were huddled together on the floor; unnaturally quiet and secretive. Helen, Marina and Lily were sitting on one couch, and the three remaining Marauders on the other, all looking inconsolable.

At around eight thirty, the doorbell rang and Helen and Sirius stood up to answer it. Helen glared at Sirius and then sat abruptly back down; not willing to go anywhere where he was going.

Sirius started when he answered the door.

'Snivellus,' he growled. 'What are you doing here?'

Severus Snape shot a cold smirk at Sirius before pushing into the house.

'Hey! What…'

'Push over, Black, this is a murder investigation,' he drawled in his cold voice.

'What the fuck? Murder?'

'Yes,' a smooth, even tone came from behind him. 'Murder,' she repeated, softly.

Sirius swallowed and reluctantly turned around to see Hannah Cartier. Even though his best friend had just died and his wife was pregnant, he could help but thinking that she looked even better than she did when he had last seen her…

Apart from Helen, she had been the only one who had rather stood out for him. She was intelligent, wealthy, and beautiful with a string of many diamonds around her neck, diamonds hanging from her earlobes and a large rock on her finger, implying an engagement.

She walked past him into the house, following her partner and fiancé into the drawing room.

'M…murder?' Lily stammered.

Severus nodded gravely as he surveyed the girl whom he had adored ever since he first laid his eyes on her.

'B…but…'

Hannah cleared her throat impatiently.

'We're going to interrogate each and every one of you separately,' she said. 'Starting with you… Lily,' she said, drawing out Lily's name as though she were sucking on a lemon.

As Lily, looking pale and shaken, nodded hopelessly and followed the law enforcement officer out of the room, Helen suddenly noticed that Miss Cartier fitted Anka's description of Sirius' mystery woman perfectly.

And, judging from the way Sirius was gaping at her, she had no doubts in her mind whatsoever anymore that this Hannah girl was the one who was going to destroy her family.

xxx

'Miss Cartier,' Hannah Cartier said, extending a cold hand to Lily.

'Lily Potter,' Lily said faintly, sinking into a chair.

Hannah pursed her lips as she regarded Lily; the woman who still held some part of her fiancé's heart.

'Mrs Potter, where were you at eight o' three pm, when Mr Pettigrew died?

Lily swallowed.

'Er… um…'

A grim smile curved Hannah's lips.

'Were you perhaps in the kitchen, Mrs Potter?'

Lily's eyes widened.

'N…no! I was checking on the kids!'

Hannah shot a disbelieving look at Lily and cleared her throat.

'Can you prove it?'

Lily faltered.

'I… ask the kids?'

Hannah rolled her eyes and wrote a few notes in her notes before looking back up at Lily, sweeping her curtain of black hair behind her.

'Mrs Potter, what would you say your relationship with Mr Pettigrew was like?'

Lily looked at Hannah strangely.

'He was one of my husband's best friends. Naturally, he became a friend of mine too.'

'Were you ever romantically involved with him?'

Lily wrinkled her nose in disgust.

'No. Never. I wouldn't say that he and I were ever really close apart from his coming around every now and then for a poker night of dinner.'

Hannah nodded curtly.

'Very well then. And who do you think did it?'

Lily looked hard at Hannah.

'I don't think anyone did it. Didn't you ever consider that it could have been an accident? That Peter may have popped it himself?'

Hannah put on a false smile.

'Thank you, that's enough.'

'It's not Lily or Helen and I highly doubt the Lupins' testimony, even though none of them have any alibis,' Severus said confidently to Hannah. 'My bet is either on Potter or Black.'

Hannah rolled her eyes.

'Of course you would defend Mrs Potter and Mrs Black… speaking of Helen, she seems rather suspicious to me. Have they brought any materials from Pettigrew's home yet to help with the case?'

'Not yet… and please, Hannah, you know that I feel nothing for Lily anymore,' he said reasonably, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.

Hannah straightened up primly.

'We have more questions to ask. None of them seem to have alibis.'

'No… that's true…'

They both looked up at the sound of a crack in the hallway.

'You'll never believe this,' John St Claire, Severus and Hannah's assistant, said with wide eyes. 'You'll never believe what we found in Pettigrew's apartment.'

'No,' Severus said softly, unable to believe the photographs in front of him

'Bring her in,' Hannah ordered.

xxx

Helen looked pale and worn as she entered the room. Hannah rolled her eyes and Helen tried not to glare at her; those fifteen minutes during which Sirius had been alone with Hannah had been very trying on her.

'What would you say your relations with Peter were?' Hannah asked, raising her eyebrows at Helen.

Helen frowned.

'He was one of my husband's best friends and, naturally, was a close friend of mine,' she said slowly, looking only at Severus who was looking at her strangely.

'And when did you and Peter conduct an illicit affair?' Hannah added archly.

Helen's gaze snapped to Hannah.

'What?' she breathed in disbelief.

Hannah rolled her eyes again.

'Don't play dumb…'

'Says she who's off having an affair with my husband!' Helen screamed at Hannah.

A silence hung in the air and then Hannah started laughing.

'I'm sorry, what was that Mrs Black?'

Helen glared at Hannah.

'I think you know what I'm saying.'

Hannah gave a flippant laugh.

'Please, I wouldn't touch your husband again with a ten-foot pole…'

'I should hope not,' Severus growled.

Hannah gave him an imploring look before returning to Helen.

'Whatever issues you are having with your husband's infidelity, they are irrelevant at present,' she said, handing Helen a photo.

Helen shot another glare at Hannah before taking the photo.

She dropped it, as though scalded.

'Oh my God… what the fuck… is that?' she gasped, trying not to throw up.

'Oh, but that's not the only one,' Hannah said coldly, thrusting another vile photo into Helen's hand.

Helen's world went black.

'What the fuck did you do to her?' Sirius shouted at Severus as Helen's unconscious body came out of his study on a stretche. 'She's pregnant,' he spat. 'And it's so obvious that she has nothing to do with Peter's death. She needs rest,' he continued, picking her up and carrying her up the stairs to their bedroom, oblivious to both Severus and Hannah's protesting.

Anka, seeing her unconscious mother being carried up the stairs, ran up to Hannah and hit her.

'What did you do to her? What happened to mummy?' she said, continuing to hit her.

Lily went up to Anka and took her away gently.

'I trust that these two aren't part of the investigation. Can I at least put them to sleep here?' she said to Severus, ignoring Hannah who looked as though she was about to start fuming.

Severus nodded quickly.

'Yes, it is obvious that they had nothing to do with it,' he said.

'Come, you two.'

'What if they take mummy or daddy away?' Anka whispered to Harry, who was lying on the opposite end of her bed, as soon as Lily turned the light off.

Harry sat up.

'But Auntie Helen didn't do it, neither did Uncle Padfoot,' he whispered back.

'But they think that mummy did it,' Anka pressed on. 'And they're making her sick.'

Harry crawled over to Anka's side of the bed and took her hand.

'Let's fix this. Let's make them leave,' he said.

Anka looked at him in wonder.

'How?'

A small smile came to Harry's lips and he leant forward and started whispering in his best friend's ear.

Lily sighed as she returned to the living room where Remus, Marina and James now remained.

'They're sleeping,' she said, sitting on the couch and leaning on James' shoulder.

'What did they do to Helen that made her faint?' Marina wondered. 'It must have been bad.'

Remus' brow furrowed.

'It was strange… they just asked me now what Helen's relationship with Peter had been like. They asked me to 'describe their interactions' of today.'

'Well there was nothing apart from that kiss at the start which, I grant, was a little strange but…' James laughed bitterly. 'If they're suggesting that Helen and Peter were having 'a thing', though, then they're crazy.'

There was a silence.

'Poor Peter,' Lily said eventually.

They all nodded morosely.

Gradually, Helen stirred and felt something wet and cool on her forehead.

She felt someone kiss her cheek- Sirius, she could tell- and then felt him cupping her cheek with a hand.

'How are you feeling, ma cherie?' he asked, kissing her lips softly.

Helen's brows furrowed as she remembered Hannah.

'Are they still downstairs?'

He laughed bitterly.

'Unfortunately.'

She stiffened and opened her eyes to see his own grey ones looking into hers with concern.

'Is it just because she's Severus'?' she asked, trying not to succumb to the tears which she felt pricking her eyes. 'Is that why you're with her? Or is it me?'

Sirius' brow furrowed.

'What are you talking about?'

'Hannah. You're screwing her,' she said sadly, trying to sit up.

She felt him push her back down to lie.

'You must have hit your head…'

'I didn't!' she said, anger starting to seep into her tone. 'Where did you disappear to today? Anka said that she met a friend of yours who was 'beautiful' and had 'many diamonds' on her. In other words- Hannah. You're with her. Why couldn't you leave me before you cheated on me?' she snapped.

Sirius sighed and leant forward to kiss her but she turned her head resolutely.

He pressed his lips to her cheek and lay back next to her.

'I'm most definitely not screwing Hannah… or anyone else for that matter. You shouldn't listen to Anka's garbled bits of information, ma cherie,' he said, trying to pull her closer to him.

She wouldn't budge and kept her back determinedly to him.

He sighed and stood up, walking over to the dresser and opening a draw. He returned to the bed and placed a slim, black box in front of Helen.

'Happy Anniversary, ma cherie. You're the only one for me. I left it a bit late; but that's where I was today,' he said.

Helen's glance flitted down to the black box and she picked it up and, feeling guilty now as everything made much more sense, turned to face him.

'Sorry,' she mumbled, looking down.

He put a finger under her chin and raised it so as to force her to look at him.

'Please don't tell me that you honestly thought that I would waste what I have with you for a girl who has lowered herself to the likes of Snivellus,' he said, smiling at her.

Helen laughed a little weakly and leant forward and kissed him.

Eventually, they pulled away from each other's lips and he pulled her to lie on his chest. She picked up the box and he kissed the top of her head.

'I never really get you things like that… but I wanted you to have something nice,' he said, trying to explain that he didn't like putting 'a value' on what they had with expensive gifts.

She fiddled with the box, not yet opening it.

'I feel bad now. I didn't get you anything… actually, I forgot,' she confessed, feeling her cheeks flushing with embarrassment.

He laughed softly and kissed her forehead.

'I thought you might…. And you've given me the best present of all today,' he said softly, sliding a hand down to her lower belly.

Helen sighed a little at this and kissed his chest before opening the case to reveal a beautiful, antique watch.

'It's beautiful,' she said, putting it on.

He took the box and tossed it to the side.

'It's nothing. I just noticed you didn't have a watch the other day, that's all,' he shrugged.

'Thank you. And it's not nothing; it means a lot to me.'

He shrugged and they lay like this for a while.

Helen felt herself tense as she suddenly remembered the photographs which Hannah and Severus had shown her.

'Sirius, you know that I've never cheated on you, right?'

'Yes…?' he said slowly, sounding very confused. 'Why?' he asked, shifting so that she was now facing him.

Helen swallowed.

'Because I think Peter was… a bit obsessed with me and there are photos downstairs which… which…'

She shuddered violently and Sirius' eyes widened.

'Calm down…. You don't want to hurt the baby,' he said, rubbing her arm soothingly. 'What about these photos?'

'I want to throw up?'

Sirius moved back a little.

'Morning sickness?'

'No, those photos,' she shuddered. 'He must have charmed some kind of porn photos and put my face… argh! They're disgusting! It's not even my body, I can tell, but they can't and they think that it's me, or they might think that it's you being the jealous husband… I don't want them to take one of us to Azkaban for something we obviously didn't do,' she added in a hushed whisper.

'Well, what was it? Innocent until proven guilty? You're obviously innocent, so they can't prove anything,' he said.

His face suddenly became hard.

'That bastard! How dare he think of you like that! What kind of…'

Helen placed a hand over his mouth.

'We're not alone in this house,' she reminded him.

He glowered.

'I don't understand how this is even a murder case. It's so obvious that the idiot must have pointed the bottle at himself and killed himself. What is so complicated about that?' he said, sounding highly irritated.

Helen sighed and buried her head in his chest; trying to stall returning back to the interrogations for as long as possible.

When Helen and Sirius finally did go back downstairs, they were called in together and reshown (or shown for the first time, in Sirius' case) the photos.

'I'll kill him!' Sirius burst out, as soon as he saw them.

Helen's eyes widened as she realised how this could be interpreted.

'Is that a confession, Black?' Severus asked, his lips curling into a joyous smile at the thought of locking away his long-time nemesis.

'No,' Sirius said, clenching his fists and trying to become calm.

Helen took the initiative and turned the photographs upside down.

'Those photos aren't of me. If you compare bodies, you can see that he's just charmed the model's face to look like it's…'

She gulped.

'Him and I.'

Sirius' grip on the arm rests of his chair was starting to look dangerous.

'Look Severus, I don't understand how this is even a murder investigation. It just makes no sense that anyone would murder him with a champagne cork, of all things. Surely you must see that,' Helen said, feeling extremely tired with the proceedings.

'Of course, that is what you would have us believe,' Hannah said bitingly to Helen.

Helen groaned and knew that the night was far from over.

xxx

'This way,' Anka whispered to Harry as they ran around the outside of the house to the window of the study in which the interrogations were taking place.

Harry helped Anka up so they were standing on a ledge and peeking through the window to watch the proceedings.

'Why is mummy crying?' Anka asked worriedly.

Harry frowned.

'I don't like that Snape. Look at his big nose,' he said.

Anka nodded.

'I don't like that Hannah either. She made mummy cry. We need to help her.'

There was a silence.

'How?'

Before any of them could respond, however, Anka slipped and screamed as she fell to the ground.

'Anka! Are you okay?' Harry asked worriedly, clambering down to be at her side.

Anka, ever the drama queen, started crying on his shoulder and he hugged her.

'Don't cry, Anka. We'll fix this. Auntie Helen won't go to jail. We'll fix this,' Harry said earnestly.

The window suddenly opened.

'Anka?' Sirius' worried voice came. 'What are you doing out there?'

Hannah's voice carried out from inside.

'You are not allowed to leave the house… protocol…'

'Fuck you,' Helen's scathing voice retorted. 'They're our kids out there.'

xxx

Helen and Sirius knelt by Anka and Harry who were both hugging each other and looking miserable. Hannah and Severus followed shortly.

'Mummy, I don't want you to go to jail. It wasn't your fault,' Anka cried, hugging Helen's arm.

'Mummy's not going to jail,' Sirius said determinedly.

'But we saw what happened,' Harry said earnestly. 'It was Uncle Peter's fault. The top of the bottle just hit him in the head.'

All four adults suddenly stared at Harry.

'What was that?' Hannah piped up.

Anka and Harry exchanged fearful glances.

'Uncle Peter was holding the bottle, and it just flew off and hit him in the head. We saw it happen,' he repeated.

Both Severus and Hannah blinked and Helen kissed both Harry and Anka thankfully.

It was just as well that adults put so much faith in the innocent in young children to believe that they tell the truth unconditionally.

Suddenly, they all spun around as another crack came from behind them.

'Tom Riddle,' the wizened man said, shaking hands with Helen and Sirius. 'Chief Coroner. Sorry for all the inconvenience but we have indeed been able to gauge that the only person to blame for his death via the champagne cork was Peter. It seems to be happening a lot lately- I just heard of another case in Paris regarding a certain Theo Laurent's death via champagne cork…'

He trailed off and shook his head.

'Those bottles really should come with warnings…Anyway! Severus, Hannah, let these people rest now. Has the body been removed and the site cleaned?'

Both Hannah and Severus nodded, albeit begrudgingly.

'Excellent. Goodnight all,' Tom Riddle said, before disapparating again.

Helen and Sirius looked expectantly at Severus and Hannah.

'Well….'

'You'll be off then,' Helen said brightly to Hannah.

Hannah scowled at her.

'Goodbye,' Sirius said to the both of them, picking up one child under each arm and going back to the house with Helen next to him, leaving the two detectives outside to glare at their retreating backs.

The six of them sat in the living room, exhausted. Harry and Anka were now back in bed.

Helen summoned tea.

'All of you stay tonight. It's too late to leave now,' she yawned.

No one protested.

'What a way to die… champagne cork,' James mused, his lips twitching.

'It's actually not that funny, dear,' Lily said sarcastically.

James shrugged and laid across the couch, resting his head in her lap, knowing that she was too tired to care

'I can't believe that Peter was so… about Helen, though,' Remus said darkly.

Helen shuddered and Sirius subconsciously pulled her closer to him.

'Well I suppose that she is too desirable… but still. What kind of mate was he to do shit like that about my wife?' he said, sounding disgusted.

Helen nodded vehemently.

Marina yawned.

'Oh well, at least it's all over. I have to say, I never did like him much,' she confessed.

'Me neither.'

Helen said nothing.

'I thought he was ok. I wasn't mad about him, but I never would have known that he could be so… psychotic!'

'Trust me, I never would have let him within ten miles of you if I had known,' Sirius said to her, fiddling absently with the ring on her finger.

Helen shrugged and nestled her head against Sirius' shoulder.

They sat in silence for a while until James yawned again.

'Shall we to bed?' Helen suggested.

They all nodded heavily and Helen set up the spare, foldout beds and changed the sheets of the spare bedroom.

'Wait,' James said suddenly. 'Should we show them all? It is finished, after all,' he said reasonable to Sirius.

Sirius chewed his lip before nodding.

'Let's go the garage. We have something to show you all.'

Helen marvelled at exactly how amazing the indoor quidditch pitch had turned out. She felt rather wistful that she wouldn't be able to try it for another five months. Eventually, the others drifted back to the house to sleep. She and Sirius remained behind.

'I should have told you,' he said guiltily.

'I already knew,' Helen shrugged. 'Anka let it out a month ago.'

Sirius rolled his eyes and hugged her.

'That girl is a terrible secret-keeper.'

Helen smiled and leant her head on his chest.

'Can I add a personal touch to it?' she asked after a while.

Sirius nodded, although he was a little confused.

She flicked her wand and looked up, as did Sirius, to see the ceiling; enchanted to look like the sky.

'That's much better,' Sirius conceded.

Helen nodded and kissed his lips slowly, turning around so that she was facing him, and wrapping her arms around his neck as his hands slid down to her waist and he pulled her as closely as possible to him.

They slowly knelt down on the grass and then lay back, still kissing, as Sirius' hand made its way slowly up her skirt.

xxx

James, upon seeing the light was still on in the garage, had grabbed a broom with the idea of playing a bit with Sirius. Upon re-entering the garage, however, he left very quickly, muttering embarrassedly that it was 'no wonder she's pregnant again.'

xxx

Once they were done, Sirius apparated them back to their bedroom; the both of them too tired to walk back.

'At least the quidditch pitch is christened now,' he grinned.

Helen laughed.

'The only room yet to receive a 'christening' is the kitchen,' Helen wondered aloud.

Sirius pondered this statement.

'Well we can't very well 'christen' it now. That wouldn't be very fair on the guests and I think that you've had your fair share of excitement for one day.'

'Couldn't agree with you more,' Helen muttered, nestling her head into his chest tiredly.

'How about the next time Anka's playing with Harry at James' place, we'll christen it.

'Sounds good, mon cheri,' Helen replied, stifling a yawn.

Sirius grinned and kissed the top of her head.

'Fancy doing it on the kitchen table?'

'What about the workbench?' she offered.

'We could do it on both,' he said brightly.

Helen laughed softly and kissed his chest.

'I can't believe you thought that I was cheating on you…'

Helen groaned.

'Okay, I'll give it a rest,' Sirius said obligingly. 'Do you reckon it's a boy or a girl?'

'How should I know?'

Sirius shrugged.

'I think it's another girl. God's trying to punish you for your wicked ways with women,' Helen grinned.

Sirius laughed uneasily.

'Anka's already starting to give me grey hairs…'

Helen hugged him tightly around the waist.

'Are you really that happy about it?' she asked seriously.

He kissed her again.

'Really, I am. Why not? It's better for Anka, better for us… we should have three…'

Helen started coughing and Sirius patted her on the back.

'You okay?'

'Three!' she whispered hoarsely.

Sirius kissed her lingeringly.

'Ah, we'll see how we go with two before we talk about another one. Three just seems like a good number… anyway, you get some sleep now. I hardly think that today has been good for the baby.'

Helen nodded sadly and hugged him more closely to her as she felt her eyes slowly dropping off into sleep.

'I love you,' he whispered to her when she was asleep, before hugging her in a both protective and close manner and allowing himself to finally succumb to sleep after their long and weary Sunday.

That night, there were only two people in the house who were still wide awake. They were both starting to feel their first pangs of guilt, despite the fact that they still did not quite understand the concept of murder to understand the complications which could arise from their situation:

'Ouch,' Harry said, rubbing his head from where he had hit it on a bottle in the dark pantry.

'What?' Anka whispered.

'I hit my head.'

'On what?'

'I don't know… this,' Harry said, reaching up and lifting something which felt rather heavy.

'It's heavy… what do you think it is?'

'It sounds like it's got water in it… shake it,' he suggested.

The door to the pantry opened as Anka was shaking the bottle and they both froze and stared at Peter who, subsequently, looked surprised to see them.

'My, my, my, what do we have here?' he said, coming closer towards them.

The two children flinched.

'Hello Harry,' he said, kneeling down in front of Harry and extending a hand…

There was suddenly a 'pop' and, the next thing they knew, a foamy liquid was spilling out of the bottle, onto the ground and… a thud later, Peter was on the ground, unconscious.

Shaking, Anka placed the bottle next to Peter on the ground.

'You saved me!' Harry said to her in wonder, taking her hand.

Anka blushed.

Tentatively, Harry leant forward and did what they had just seen in the movie; he placed a quick kiss on her lips.

Anka's happiest moment in life would forever coincide with the exact moment that Peter took his last breath, for it was the same moment when Harry Potter gave her her first kiss.

The End

'Death by Champagne'

A murder mystery by Anya Violetta

I hope that has satisfied all of those who wanted a happy ending for the Marauders + Co.

Please review and let me know what you thought.

Lots of love,

Anya Violetta

Those who want to read a sort of continuation of this oneshot, go on my author's page and click on the link to 'The Voice Mail Morrow'.