A/n: This goes along with my Kidnapped Socksoneshots. If you haven't read those, then this probably won't make any sense. The stories in that are Kidnapped Socks, Works Every Time, and Resistance. This oneshot is dedicated to all of us who deal with the tornado drama every year.

"Oh no…" The blond man moaned, as he studied the window. He reached over and poked his brunette, sleeping wife on the shoulder, "Miley…wake up! Hurry! Wake up!"

His wife, who was dreaming of sadistic socks of various colors, grumbled something random and turned over on her other side. Thunder boomed outside the window, and the man whimpered. He gently shook her shoulder.

"Wake up!" He screamed. The volume of his demand was louder then he thought, and it sent his wife jumping into the air from fright.

Her hair was disheveled, and she was blinking rapidly. She looked around, and her eyes narrowed when she saw her husband.

"Dear, sweet Jesus, Jake! I swear if this is because of your goddamn socks or Jesse McCartney I'm divorcing your eccentric ass! You always told me you were a freak in bed, but I never thought you meant it this way!"

Being used to his wife's excess cursing when she was in a low state of mind, Jake discarded her threat. A flash of lightening outside the window made him whimper again, and he moved closer to his wife.

"Miley! Quick! We've got to get Colette and Ethan and go down to the basement!! Something is happening outside the window!! Something bad!"

His wife ran a tired hand through her hair, and turned to look at the window. All she saw was the fury of a May Tennessee thunderstorm.

The fear in her husband's eyes soothed her anger. She wrapped an arm around him and rubbed his arm.

"Don't worry, baby. It's just a big, scary thunderstorm."

Under normal circumstances, he would have resented her babying. However, at the moment he was watching the earth break at the crust. The house's structure shook as the hard winds slammed into the walls, the window panes vibrated, and the rain and hail pelted down on the roof with such forces Jake was surprised the roof hadn't caved in. Having lived in California his whole life, there were three things about Tennessee he was confused about. One, the storms. He had never experienced weather like this in California, and it was frightening. Two, the temperature. It was so cold here! And three, sweet tea. What the hell was it anyway? It was like they integrated adding sugar to a drink into its own beverage. He felt his wife should have gone over the basics with him before allowing their whole family to move out there for a while.

"No!" He exclaimed, "It's not just a big scary storm! Stop pacifying me, Miley! I'm a man, and I have instincts when it comes to protecting my family! And I know that this is going to hurt us if we don't take shelter!"

She smoothed his hair back and gently pulled him in a lying position.

"Jakey…would I let you get hurt? Would I let our children get hurt?"

He shook his head.

"Of course not. I'm a pro at these storms. So just relax, and go back to sleep."

He nodded, his body tense. Miley lay back down beside him and he tried to sleep. He really did. But the wind was picking up, and the rain was getting even harder.

Then, suddenly, everything went dead silent.

"OH MY GOD!" He screamed. His wife angrily slapped a hand over his mouth.

"Leslie Jacob Ryan! I swear if you wake those children up you're gonna be in some trouble for the years to come. Now shush! It's just a storm, no biggie—

"Noooo!" He moaned as he jumped out of the bed. He ran around in a circle, before calming down long enough to speak.

"I saw this on the Weather Channel, Miley! It's the calm before the storm! It's when you hit the eye of the storm! And the end coming out is always the worst! OH NO!! WE'RE GOING TO BE IN A TORNADO!!"

He frantically ran around the bedroom grabbing random things and setting them on the bed. Miley watched, torn between amusement and anger. After setting "storm supplies" on their bed, he turned on the TV. He flipped it away from Family Guy, and put it on the Weather Channel.

"…tornado warning for Nashville, Hendersonville, Lebanon, Smyma, Franklin, and Gallatin. If you are in or surrounding this area, please take immediate shelter. If you see any damage, please wait until after the storm, and call the National Weather Service hotline toll-free…"

"AH!! YOU SEE THAT?! TORNADO WARNING! THAT MEANS THERE IS A TORNADO ON THE GROUND!!" He screamed. He ran to the window and unlocked it. Then he thrust it open, letting the storms howling fury in.

His wife calmly placed a soft hand on his shoulder. She closed the window.

"Mm'kay, darling. Let's get some things straight. First of all, cracking the windows is a superstition. I know they say it'll keep the pressure from building up or whatever, but that's not true. It's actually a waste of time. Second, just because there is a warning means nothing. That just means they've noticed a rotating cell. It doesn't mean there is a funnel that has touched the ground." Her hands stroked his face softly, and it calmed him down for a minute.

Until the sirens started.

The most frightening howling filled their house. Jake screamed, and ran out of the bedroom. Miley herself was beginning to get a little scared. Even though she must have heard that siren a million times growing up, there was something so eerie about it that still gave her the chills. And as the hail picked up, she couldn't help but remembering that hail or heavy rain followed by either dead calm or a fast, intense wind shift was a sign of an active tornado. She peered through the window out at the sky. She couldn't see much whenever the lightening lit up the sky, but then again, most tornadoes were hidden by heavy rains. Small, bright, blue-green to white flashes started filling the darkness. At first she thought it was simply lightening, but then she took the time to notice this was happening near the ground.

A thrill shot through her.

That was what happened during tornadoes when the power lines were being snapped by high winds. This thought made her wring her hands, and panic strangle her chest. She walked over to the closet and opened the door. She pulled out the bag filled with the family's emergency gear, just in case.

The final straw was the roar. She heard the most ominous roar coming from around the house. It sounded almost like a freight train. She'd only heard that one other time in her life, and that was when she was six and her family was unfortunate to be in the path of an F-3 tornado.

She raced across the room. Her hands grasped at her cell phone, and she quickly stuck it into her pocket. Jake came running into the room at that moment, holding a crying three year old girl named Colette and their eleven month old son, Ethan.

"Jake," She said as evenly as she could, "I think it is time to get to the basement. Will you please carry Colette and Ethan down there?"

Jake was hyperventilating. Miley felt bad for making him panic like this, but she saw no way around it. She had ample experiences with these storms, and knew that it was rare to actually be in a real tornado. But she did know if you were unlucky enough to be caught in one, you needed to be prepared.

She kissed her daughter's cheek and smoothed her light curls.

"Colette, please stop crying. Can you hold something for mommy?"

The little girl hiccuped, and nodded. Miley pulled the comforter off her and her spouse's bed and handed it to the little girl. It completely covered her.

The power flickered. Jake and Colette cried out.

"Jake." Miley said firmly, "Take them downstairs, now."

Jake nodded, and left the room. Miley quickly grabbed the emergency bag and the pillows off the bed. Before she left the room, she opened the emergency bag and pulled out one of the flashlights. Just in case, she told herself.

She exited the room quickly, and ran to the basement stairwell. She raced down it.

"Let's get in the bathroom." She instructed her family. Jake nodded, and carried their children into the bathroom. Miley followed.

She placed the comforter in the bathtub. She was never more grateful that Jake has insisted on the garden, jet tub then she was at that moment. She placed all four pillows around, and set the emergency bag on the ledge.

"Jake, can you get Colette into the tub please?" She asked. She didn't wait to see his reaction.

As she ran into the guest room in the basement, she couldn't help but remember that tornado sirens give you (if you're lucky) thirteen minutes prior to the tornado hitting. She hauled the blanket and pillows off that bed also, and quickly sprinted into the bathroom. She threw them down on the floor and didn't even take time to see if everyone was situated. The houses structure seemed to shudder for a moment as a large gust of wind hit, then the dead silence hit again. Miley pushed the mattresses off the twin bed. With strength she never knew she had, she carried it like it was air into the bathroom. Once in there, she slammed the door shut.

Jake handed her Ethan.

"Get in the tub," he instructed. Miley wondered at what part of this whole ordeal he'd decided to get a hold of himself. She carefully climbed into the tub beside Colette. Ethan babbled in her arms, and she held him to her. She placed a pillow behind her back so she could lean comfortably, and she placed Ethan's pillow underneath her arm so she could hold him without it getting sore. Colette leaned against her mother's arm and cried.

"I'm scared, mommy." Miley wrapped her around her daughter's shoulders.

"Don't you worry, baby. It's fine."

As soon as the words left her mouth, the power went off. Jake and Colette screamed.

"Jake, get in the tub." Miley's voice was strained.

"I'm getting the mattress." He argued.

"Get in the tub!" She yelled. He slung the emergency bag into the tub, on top of his wife's legs so she could get to it, and then sat down beside Miley and Colette. He reached over and hauled the mattress up over the side of the tub, and slid it on top of the bathtub.

It was pitch dark. Ethan started howling, and Miley kissed her son gently and tried to calm him.

"Mama, mama, mama!" He cried. The only words her son knew were 'mama' and 'daddy' so she couldn't help but feel privileged she was the one he was asking for.

"Daddy!" Colette cried, "Daddy!" Miley flipped the flashlight on that she had thought to pull out earlier.

She placed the flashlight between her legs so it was shining at the mattress and not in anyone's eyes. The rays lit up the dark area. Colette crawled over to her father and sat on his lap. Jake, just as equally scared, tried to soothe his eldest child. He smoothed her hair back and she cried into his chest.

Ethan settled in his mother's arm. The storm had become background noise as the mattress blocked it out. Miley stroked her son's dark hair as she rocked him gently. She caught her husband's eyes.

"Do you think we'll be okay?" He asked, anxiously.

She smiled at him, but it was strained.

"Yes, Jake. We're probably the most protected in all of Davidson County. We're in an underground basement, in an interior room without windows, and under a mattress. We'll be fine."

She said the words truthfully, but didn't feel they were true. Freak accidents happened all the time during tornadoes.

"I don't like storms." Their daughter whimpered. Jake kissed her forehead and hugged her. Miley leaned forward and patted her daughter's foot.

"This'll all be over soon enough, Lettie." Jake said in a soothing voice to his daughter, "Why don't you just go to sleep and when you wake up this will all be over. Look, Ethan is already asleep."

Miley continued stroking her sleeping son's hair. She nodded encouragingly at her daughter, who had turned her big blue eyes in her direction for guidance.

Colette pulled the extra blanket up over her and her father. She tucked it around her. Miley and Jake listened silently as the storm wrecked havoc around them as their children slept.

Then, the bathtub starting shaking. Miley felt that sick feeling in the pit of her stomach. Jake's eyes mirrored her terror. The bathroom door started shaking, as if an invisible force was trying to pull it off the hinges.

Jake motioned for her to move over. With her son securely in her arms, she moved to his side. He pulled the blanket over his head and hers. Soon, their family was underneath the blanket. Miley leaned over Ethan a bit, to protect his body. Jake's posture matched hers.

"This is so scary." Jake whispered as the house was shaking in fury.

She nodded. It was frightening.

Then suddenly, as if the house was giving up, all hell broke loose.

They could hear the sound of great winds blowing debris around and around. Miley winced as the sound of the oak bathroom door splitting filled their ears. She felt as if she had landed herself right on top of a moving airplane. The mattress started moving as the high winds from upper ground blew gusts down into the basement. They could hear objects falling and being slung around. Miley curled into Jake's side, and they braced themselves.

All the sudden, everything stopped. It got dead silent. Except Miley knew this was because the storm was traveling away. But she didn't dare move.

"Is it over?" Colette cried. Ethan was staring curiously up at his mother, as if he thought all that had been a show she'd put on to entertain him.

"I hate Tennessee!" Jake finally burst out, "I can't stand it! The south is full of absolute madness! From these storms, to the frigid weather, from the stupid 'sweet tea' and how falsely nice everyone is! It's so freakish!"

His family sat in shock from his outburst.

"Well," His wife said, "As long as we're blurting out the truth at this inappropriate time…Jake, I'm pregnant."

The silence prevailed.

"Wow." Their daughter muttered. Ethan babbled in what one could only take as an agreement.

"Really? That's great! We don't have to raise her/him here do we? Because if you'll let me, I can have us out of here by next Saturday." Jake's voice was strained. He was still partly terrified of whatever had just tried to kill him and his family.

"I think it's safe to get out now." Miley muttered.

Jake nodded. He reached up, and slowly pushed the mattress off the bathtub. Miley climbed out, still holding Ethan, and then was followed by her husband and daughter.

They walked into central basement.

"Ooh!" Ethan cooed.

"Mommy! Where'd the house go?" Colette asked.

Miley gulped as she looked straight up at the night sky.

"It's probably in Knoxville by now."

Suddenly, her husband let go of Colette's hand and went flying to the staircase that was still standing. He ran up the unsteady foundation. Colette made a move to follow him, but Miley grabbed her hand firmly.

A few moments later, Jake came sprinting down.

"YES!" He yelled, dancing around.

Miley frowned.

"What?"

"The northeastern part of the house is the only one messed up! All our bedrooms, the office, and the award room are in mint condition! And guess what? My socks must be safe!!"

Miley groaned. After all their family had just been through, his socks were one of the first thing he mentioned.

Then, suddenly, he got very sober.

"Miley, this is partly your fault and partly Jesse McCartney's."

His wife scowled.

"How is this my fault?!"

"When I bought that beautiful blanket, you threatened to get rid of my sock collection, and I told you if you did we'd get struck by lighting. And you've been doing away with three pairs a month since then. You think I don't notice? Of course I do. Where'd you put the laundry basket with them, anyway?"

She was in disbelief.

"You think this happened because of your socks?!"

"That's right. Now, I'm thinking we go back to California as soon as possible and you can show me where you hid all my socks you've confiscated...and then show me where the laundry basket holding all the others is."

He seemed to cheer up at that aspect, but his wife was grimacing.

"What?" he asked.

"Um…well…I kinda sorta hid all your socks in the dining room. In the basket with all the other socks."

"Okay. So go get them."

She shifted and waited for it to hit him. It didn't, so she continued.

"Um…darling, the dining room is the first room on the northeastern side of the house."

His face crumbled.

"NOOOOO!" He screamed, "That means my socks are halfway to Knoxville!! I freaking hate this! This sucks! What did Mother Nature have against my socks?!"

He sat down miserably.

"I'm so sorry, baby. Why don't you take Colette and Ethan upstairs to see their first tornado ruins?"

He sighed pathetically, and took his son in his arms and his daughter by her hand. He carefully walked up the stairs with them.

As soon as he was out of sight, Miley ran to the closet in the basement. Inside was a laundry basket full of tons of socks.

She snickered.

"Me and Mother Nature? We're like sisters."

With that, she closed the closet door. Everyone would think various homeless people on the Tennessee border just got really lucky to have Jake Ryan's socks. When in reality, they were going to stay here.

She traveled up the stairs to her family, knowing her husband would never be able to leave her to film again.

A/n: review?