Flow

by spheeris1

email:

fandom: Xena

pairing: Gabrielle/Xena

disclaimers: I do not own these women. Wish I did. And I do not own the song lyrics in italics - they are owned by Kate Bush

warnings/spoilers: Post FIN, a subtle darkness and lesbian love

'cause every time it rains

you're here in my head

like the sun coming out

ooh...i just know that something good is going to happen

i don't know when

but just saying it could even make it happen

You are so close and yet so far away.

I find all my dreams the same - you are there, smiling and reaching out for me. And I hurl myself to you, like a thirsty man to water.

I run to you. I keep on running and you keep on disappearing.

I've stopped talking to you. At first, it was too hard to speak. At first, I just wanted to yell at you. At first...

And then I caved to you, as I have so many times before. You are mist, you are distant... and I take your voice into my soul again.

I listen to your words run together like a river. So many words, Xena. In death, you are the chatty one.

I get to be silent.

I get to brood.

I stare into the flames and question the past. You just touch and go.

'cause every time it rains

I push past the trees and shelter myself from the storm. I am soaked. I am weary.

Do you see me now? Do you wish to take me into your arms?

you're here in my head

I curl up and close my eyes, only to be faced with you. Eyes of such a sharp blue, concerned and frantic, looking at my soul. Looking at me and asking for so much.

Can I give it to you? Can I give in again to you?

like the sun coming out

Whispers. Fingertips. The force of your will, breaking down the barriers of afterlife... You grasp me and hold me, you rock me and you kiss me. You are so warm and alive and real right now. Let me stay like this forever.

And you are inside of me, filling me up. I feel your heat trailing all over my body. I feel you. I feel your arms, your thighs, your breath against my ear... I feel your hair tickling my face, I feel your lips brush against mine... It is wonderful. This is wonderful. We are so wonderful together. Aren't we?

ooh...i just know that something good is going to happen

I stay asleep, though I must be moving on. The ship I must board will not wait. But, I stay here. I am content, for the first time in months.

For a moment, here and now, I do not need to chase you down. I do not need to remember reality. You are here. I am yours.

I rest easy in this space. Second after second... the ache is gone... isn't it?

i don't know when

Dawn fades into afternoon. What was once a fire is now ash. I am up and I am walking again.

You are hiding among the forest, among the animals.

And I don't know if anything will ever be the same again. Do you know?

but just saying it could even make it happen

I grip the railing and say good-bye to Greece once more.

"I love you."

And I know you hear me.