ShineThere
are times when Yoochun watches the four other members. He stares at
the curve of Jaejoong's neck, the tilt of Changmin's lips, the way
Junsu's hips move when he's dancing, the shimmer of Yunho's eyes. Runaway One Begin Proud
One
day Junsu sits down with Yoochun and watches the rest of the
three.
Now I know why you watch us all the time, Junsu
says.
Yoochun glances at him. You can tell?
Junsu
laughs. More like I can feel your gaze boring through my
back.
Yoochun flushes. Oh.
I don't blame you,
Junsu says. It's... nice.
Nice?
Junsu nods. It's
interesting how you can tell every member's talents just by
looking.
Yoochun gives a hum of agreement.
So,
why do you watch us? Junsu wants to know.
Because, Yoochun
answers. Of the way you shine.
But here in Japan, nobody knows you. He misses their
ability to glow, to be stars.
Jaejoong makes dinner - kimchee,
because he knows all of them miss the feeling of being in
Korea.
Sometimes I feel like running away, Junsu confesses.
He averts his gaze from four other pairs of eyes.
You know
what? Yunho says. Sometimes I do, too.
The other three
nod in agreement.
Junsu laughs. And here I was, feeling guilty
because I thought I was the only one who felt that way.
I
thought about it carefully, though, Yunho continues. And in
the end I decided not to.
Why? Changmin asks,
curious.
Because I realised I wouldn't be able to live without
the four of you, Yunho smiles.
He
learns to differentiate the sounds of their breathing at night. He
learns to love all of them, even when Yunho brings home a stuffed
Bambi one day and announces that it's his new daughter and nobody is
allowed to touch her (Changmin opens his mouth to tell Yunho that
Bambi is, in fact, male, but looking at the bright smile breaking
across Yunho's face, he didn't have the heart.)
It's easy,
Changmin thinks, to become one, when you are, in fact,
five.
They will,
Yunho assures him, even though he isn't too sure about it
himself. But he is leader-sshi, after all, and so he maintains
the bright (albeit fake) smile on his face.
Do you think
they'll like me? Junsu continues, persistent.
They
will, Jaejoong answers for Yunho. Now, go over there. Changmin
wants to talk to you about some latest game.
Okay!
Junsu bounces out of his seat readily, a guileless smile now blooming
on his face.
Thanks, Yunho says in gratitude, sighing.
You
don't have to pretend, you know, Jaejoong tells him. I know
you're feeling as nervous as all of us, and I know you're trying to
be all leader-ish, but sometimes it's okay to be human.
I'll
try, Yunho smiles.
Jaejoong smiles back, his wide eyes a
little too perceptive for a seventeen-year-old.
Onetwothree,
Yunho whispers, and they bow to the sea of fans beneath
them.
Yoochun and Junsu are crying. Yunho is wiping his eyes.
Changmin is smiling so hard his face is about to split open, but
Jaejoong can still see the glimmer of tears in his eyes.
Jaejoong
blinks against the moisture pooling in his eyes. He looks down at
their screaming, laughing, crying fans, and then he looks at his
members, all four of them.
I'm proud of all of you, he
says.
We're proud of you too, Changmin answers, and he
smiles.
Itsumademo futari tomo ni arukou, Jaejoong sings
softly under his breath. Proud of your love.