Hello everyone, so this is another idea i have, it's eventaully going to be humour! I have not forgoten my other story and i will update it tomorrow or the next day but i had the urge to write this so here it is!

I dont own the Meyer Magic that is twilight!

It was spring vacation and Charlie had gone camping and fishing for the whole week and had allowed me to stay at the Cullen's house. I had just finished packing my backpack and grabbed my overnight bag when I felt a light breeze. Turning around I saw Edward sitting in my rocking chair. I sighed, happy to see him.

"Hello my love, are you almost ready to go?" He smiled at me through his very light topaz eyes. He had just come back from hunting.

"Yep" I smiled back at him shoving my hands in the front pockets of my jeans. I was also wearing a blue deep v cut top, just for him. I watched as his eyes slowly assessed my body. It was painful, I hated when he just stared at me, and it almost made me want to read minds...almost. I wouldn't like to have to see what Emmett and Jasper think sometimes. I know they do it just to stir Edward up but...I shuddered slightly at the thought.

"What are you thinking Bella?" Edward was suddenly at my side tracing his finger across my jaw line. I had to laugh.

"Actually I was thinking how much I would hate to be able to read minds" He stood shocked, well I guess I didn't tell him what I was thinking that often. He suddenly kissed me deeply. My mind went blank until I heard him chuckling. I shook my head slowly to clear it.

"What was that for?"I asked bewildered.

"Can I not just want to kiss my fiancé?" He pouted. Curse Alice for teaching him how to do that, as if he wasn't irresistible enough as it was.

"Whatever Edward" I returned picking up my bags. They were gone out of my hand in a blur. My head shot up and I looked around the room. Edward was missing to. Ugh! I flopped down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I was startled as Edward jumped onto the bed next to me. I actually think my heart stopped beating for a second there. Edward was silently chuckling next to me but I could feel the tremors from his chest. He was in a really good mood today.

"Why are you so happy Edward?" I pondered staring at his beautiful face.

"Because I'm with the love of my life and I get to spend an entire week with her alone" He started kissing my jaw line and down my neck. I relaxed and smiled, until Edward's phone started vibrating.

"We're coming Alice!" He flipped it open and practically shouted closing it quickly.

"Well, almost alone" He sighed, sitting up, pulling me with him.

"Now love, are you ready to spend a week at the Cullen house" He smiled at me lovingly.

"Of course" He slung me onto his back and jumped out the window. I snapped my eyes shut, held on for dear life and buried my face in his shirt. He stopped shortly and I slid off him, landing on the ground in front of his house.

"Silly Bella, if you would have waited I would have helped you off" He laughed before picking me off the ground and carrying my bridal style into the house at vampire speed.

"Eeek! Edward could you please warn me when you are about to do that." I grumbled. He just laughed and kissed me briefly before swinging me down out of his arms. As soon as my feet touched the ground I was swept up into someone else's arms and raced off.

"Edward!!" I screamed struggling against the arms of whoever held me.

"Emmett ! Put her down NOW!!" I heard Edward yell before a growl tore through his chest. Emmett laughed in response. Suddenly I was on the ground and there was a large hole in the wall.

"Bella sweetheart are you alright?" Edward appeared in front of me, stroking my face. I nodded and he helped me up, holding me securely in his arms. His eyes assessed my body for damage.

"I'm fine Edward, really" I murmured.

"Edward, no fair, I want to play with the human!" Emmett whined climbing in through the hole in the wall, dusting plaster off himself.

"Go find your own!" Edward snapped and pulled me towards the stairs. Emmett was in front of us immediately, blocking our path.

"Emmett get out of the way" Edward warned in a low threatening voice. It scared me a little but Emmett just brushed him off.

"C'mon Eddie, don't be such a prune! She's going to be my little sister soon; I should be allowed to play with her." Emmett whined as Edward casually threw him across the room and walked me up the stairs.

"Emmett, she is not a toy!" Edward growled. "And besides I'm allowed to be selfish! She's mine and you just want to embarrass her. Now back off!" Edward ran me quickly up to his room. I hated how they all talked about me as if I wasn't there. Just because I was human, I rolled my eyes as Edward sat down on the couch with me in his lap.

"I'm sorry about Emmett love" He muttered into my hair, wrapping his arms around my waist. I rested my head against his chest.

"It's ok Edward" I sighed. Suddenly Emmett burst into the room. We were never going to get any peace.

"Esme said I could play with Bella!" He shouted triumphantly. Edward locked his arms around me tightly and growled. I looked between Edward and Emmett quickly, I didn't really want to get hurt, not that Edward would let me but... Jasper waltzed in the door and leaned against the doorframe.

"You two are scaring the human" He spoke softly, amusement in his eyes as he assessed me trapped between Emmett and Edward who were staring each other down. I instantly began to feel calm. Jasper was a pain in the ass sometimes; maybe this is where my lack of fear came from. I clutched onto Edward's shirt unconsciously.

"Emmett, Jasper could you please GET OUT! I've been away from Bella for the past two days and I just want to spend some time with her and so help me I will rip you both to shreds just to get you out of here!" Edward was now standing protectively in front of me, addressing Emmett and Jasper hostilely.

"I can wait, she's here all week" Jasper laughed, winking at me then flying out of the room before Edward could attack him. What was with that wink! I was staring at the doorway when I saw a flash of white and was wrapped in someone's arms. Oh God, not again. At the moment I was swept up, Emmett launched at Edward. Damn it now I was screwed. Suddenly I was thrown out of a window. I was screaming my lungs off and wrapped my arms around my head protectively. Flying through the air into the forest I finally landed in someone's arms painfully. My ribs would definitely be bruised tomorrow. Who the hell would throw me that far out a freaking window?

"Take a chill pill Bella" Rosalie laughed dropping me on the ground. Of course it was her; no-one else was stupid enough to risk the accident prone human's life.

"Rosalie" I turned to her, furious and in pain.

"Oh, I'm so scared what is the little defenceless human going to do?" She flipped her blonde hair back and laughed. Where was Edward when I needed him? Suddenly an idea formed in my mind and I felt a smile growing on my face, I was going to get Rose back for this. The smirk on Rosalie's face slowly started to slip.

"You don't want to cross me Isabella" Rosalie stormed over to me and growled in my face. Charming.

"Oh I really think I do Rose" I smiled wider. Alice's shriek was heard in the distance and I was instantly embraced in two strong arms. I just hoped they were Edward's. Rose took a step back from me and paled...if that was even possible. She must have had some unpleasant thoughts running through her mind about me because Edward started growling at her.

"Rosalie if you ever repeat what you just did...if you ever even touch Bella again...I will make your life a living hell starting with your car" Edward snarled menacingly.

"Relax Edward, Emmett and Jasper just wanted to prank you by stealing Bella...no big deal" She huffed.

"Relax?...you just threw my fiancé out a damn window Rosalie!" He spat, venom in his voice.

"Edward it is fine, just be thankful she caught me" I smiled. Both Edward and Rosalie stared at me in disbelief.

"What? Emmett and Jasper play catch with me all the time" I smiled innocently. Edward stood still and took a deep breath.

"They...do...what?!" He asked pinching the bridge of his nose. Rosalie just stood there; she really did act blonde sometimes.

"Uh Rose, this is where you run away from Edward while he's angry at someone else" I whispered to her, even though I knew Edward could hear me. She took off in a heartbeat. The only reason I was helping her was so that I could get her back later...Bella style...poor defenceless human my ass! I chuckled, wincing at the pain it caused and Edward unfroze and stated running his hands over my body, probably looking for the damage. I was honestly surprised I hadn't gotten hurt worse than a bruised rib cage.

"Edward, must you?" I asked, very embarrassed, feeling the blood rush to my cheeks as his hands ran over my stomach...underneath my shirt. His cold hands did feel nice against my bruises though. He started kissing along my collar bone and neck, showering me in kisses.

"Love, please don't ever scare me like that again" He said in between kisses. I wriggled away from him but he just pulled me closer, his lips brushing across mine softly. "I thought..." he trailed off and I looked into his eyes and witnessed the anguish he was feeling.

"Sorry, next time someone in your vampire family kidnaps me I will ask them kindly to refrain from throwing me around" Like they would listen to me anyway. He flashed me his crooked smile and took my hand; leading me back towards what I assumed was the house. After ten minutes of excruciating walking I started to have trouble breathing. I was surprised Edward didn't realise that something was wrong with me.

"Edward, how far did Rose throw me?" I asked, after catching my breath, amazed that it had seemed only a few yards at the time.

"My sweet Bella, you really don't want me to answer that question" He laughed, kissing my hand lightly.

"She'll pay" I muttered. Edward paused and stared at me. Suddenly Alice was in front of us. I guess my idea was a success then. I felt a smile spread across my face and watched as Edward read Alice's mind, a smile appearing on his lips.

"My dear, I do believe you are brilliant" He whispered in my ear, kissing my lips gently.

"Oooooh Bella you are going to have her eating out of your hand!" Alice shrieked dancing around us gaily. "Oh and Edward you might want to get Bella some ice" She paused staring at me. I gulped and wouldn't meet Edward's burning gaze.

"Bella, love, why do you need ice?" He asked kindly, worry laced in his voice.

"Because...being caught by Rose is like being thrown into a brick wall. Emmett and Jasper are much better at it if you ask me" I whispered so softly and quickly I was surprised that Alice and him could even hear me. I felt his hands on me again.

"Where are you hurt love?" He murmured softly, while his eyes were roaming around my body, looking for injuries.

"She just bruised my ribs a little" I sighed, wincing slightly, ok so maybe I was hurt worse than I initially thought. Edward growled, lifting up my shirt and tracing my now bruised ribs. I shivered slightly.

"I'll kill her" Edward snapped, wrapping his arms gently around me.

"Actually Edward I think this might work out better" Alice squealed.

"Alice, I really don't want Bella to get hurt anymore and that idea is likely to open up a whole can of worms" He murmured. "Besides, I would like Carlisle to see if any of your ribs are actually broken" He started pouting again.

"But Edward, Rose will never suspect Bella's faking, we all know she can't lie" Alice pouted in return. Uh oh it was a battle between the master and the pupil. After a few minutes Edward sighed.

"Fine, we'll do it, but Bella you aren't leaving my side" Edward declared.

"I'll be glad to oblige" I smiled as he carefully picked me up in his arms, causing me to wince.

"How bad does it hurt love?" He smiled at me sadly.

"Just when I breathe" I whispered curling up into his chest, cringing as I twisted my ribcage. We were back at the house in an instant, let the games begin.

I have another chapter written for this but i want to see if i get a reponse to determine whether i will continue. So review if you like it and want more!!