A Billion Little Minds

By Holdur

Prompt: Beginnings

He spends his first days screaming. The TARDIS rocks with the aftershocks and he lies splayed on the grate floor of the console room in clothes that no longer fit him, screaming until he has no voice. When he closes his eyes, he sees fire and a thousand timelines ending. He can hear his heartbeats echoing in his empty head and each beat is like a knife through each of his temples.

When he can no longer hear his voice, he screams with his mind. His cries go out into space like ripples from a stone dropped into an endless pond; never ending, never heard. He is not loud enough to fill up the empty spaces of the universe.

Through the haze of silence, he thinks he's finally going mad. He lurches to his feel, falls to the console, slams his fist down as hard as he can and feels bones breaking. The pain sparks like light behind his eyes and fills up some of the emptiness for a time. He falls to the floor when the TARDIS lurches, closes his eyes and sees Gallifrey burning, scratches furiously at his ears. Anything to fill up his head.

When the TARDIS lands, he pulls himself to the console again and tries to figure out where and when he has landed, but he can't make sense of the writing, even though it's his. His eyes slide without any pattern and his sight seems to waver like he's underwater.

Suddenly, the silence lessens and slowly he can hear again.

I wish Mom was—

Don't worry, we'll—

Thanks for coming, I really—

Earth and a billion little minds rushing into the echoing cavern like water on fire. He lets them all in until they crowd the silence, gnawing at its edges. He can still hear it, but it is no longer a vast, uncontrollable black. When he closes his eyes, he can see ironing and call me when you get home and a London shopgirl having lunch with her boyfriend.

He wiggles his fingers of his broken hand, healed now with the residual energy from regeneration, and takes a trip to the wardrobe, discarding the frills of someone who isn't alone. He finds black pants and a black leather jacket that is tough enough to be armor.

He stands for a moment in his clothes and feels the silence rushing forward, threatening to overwhelm him. He pulls in the minds of Earth and lets them chatter unguarded until the silence is just bearable.

When he finally sends the TARDIS flying again, he is a little madder, a little harder and a lot louder