hello, sailor moon fans. this is my very first fanfiction, but i've been writing for a very long time, so i hope you think the writing's decent at the very least. i love the senshi X generals pairings, but see so few completed stories, which is why i will try very hard to finish mine. i would love to get some constructive criticism (whether or not i am sticking to the characters' personalities and things like that). oh, btw, all characters within are not my own but belong to naoko takeuchi, tokyopop and pioneer videos. and the title of this story comes from the 80's song "Love is a Battlefield" by Pat Benatar which sounded exactly like these pairings. take a look at the lyrics if you can. happy reading.

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"Minako, you really have to get out of this slump. You're depressing everyone. Even Artemis!" Rei grabbed her friend by the shoulders and shook her. Minako merely shrugged and fell effortlessly to sit on the steps to the Hikawa Shrine. Twisting her fingers in the little yellow sun-dress she was wearing, she stared intently at the ground . "Mina-chan!" Rei shouted, trying hard to contain the temper her princess kept scolding her about.

When the senshi of love didn't respond, Rei sighed and mentally readied herself for a long one-way conversation. Rei joined her friend on the steps, setting her broom down behind her and calmly readjusting her miko outfit. Curling her fingers over a perfectly tanned shoulder, she smiled gently, something Rei didn't often do. "Come on, Mina-chan. We're best friends and you can't tell me?"

Minako let out a shudder of a breath, and Rei realized with horror that her friend was crying. And without a sound! When had Minako learned to do that?

Minako didn't even look up when she replied, "When Artemis stopped believing me that it was just PMS." Scrubbing her eyes violently, the usually bubbly girl looked up at Rei. It's brave of her to meet my eyes, Rei thought. She knew even her friends were reluctant about confessing things to her. She wasn't the easiest person to talk to.

"So what is it, Mina-chan? I know you, and you don't cry about nothing and everything--like Usagi." She allowed herself a slight humph while keeping her attention on the glum girl beside to her.

"Do you ever feel like something's missing, Rei? Not that something's wrong, but that something's...I don't know—just not there? Since Usa-chan and Mamoru-kun got married two years ago and 'officially' became king and queen, I've been getting little pieces of my Silver Millennium life back," Minako looked pained. "You too right?"

Rei nodded solemnly. She didn't like the memories; they didn't feel like part of her. On the other hand, they filled this jagged gap in her heart--or maybe soul was the better word--but they didn't fill it completely. That was really why she didn't like them. Remembering wasn't fulfilling.

"I can hear her, sometimes," Minako said quietly. Rei gave her a puzzled look, a rare privilege only Minako received.

"Who?" she whispered, something disturbing slithering up the back of her sixth sense.

"My past self."

"What?!" Rei cried, alarmed. "She's not taking you over, right?"

"No, no, no," Minako hurriedly explained, frantically waving the hands that had been preoccupied with twisting her spaghetti straps back and forth. "The more memories that come back, the more she...well...melts into me. Sure there are little personality differences, but the core of the soul is the same," she shrugged. Rei knew she looked unconvinced.

Minako grabbed Rei's hands in her own and fixed the raven-haired miko with a despairing look. "It's not that that's bothering me." She seemed adamant, so Rei let it be. "Most of the time, all she sends me are heart-rending sobs and muffled cries of 'why?' or sometimes 'damn you!' It's got to have something to do with what's missing and it has to be important or I wouldn't be hearing her, right?" There was a long pause. "Rei-chan?"

"So...if you and she haven't completely merged," Rei attempted to phrase this delicately, "Why are you so melancholy lately?"

The senshi of love looked utterly perplexed for a moment, as though there was no reason why she shouldn't be down in the dumps. "I suppose..." she began, a finger resting on her bottom lip. Rei waited patiently; Minako would figure out the right words eventually. Recently, Rei had discovered her patience was increasing; it pleased her greatly. Maybe it was a result of overexposure to Usagi. She mentally chuckled, and then turned back to Venus.

"I suppose it's 'cause I'm," now she stopped to nibble on her lower lip. "What's the right word?" she mumbled. A frustrated groan tumbled from her mouth. Another brief moment of silence passed. "Ah! That's it," she finally cried triumphantly. "I'm grieving with her."

Rei's confusion had not dissipated. "Grieving, Mina-chan? What do you even mean?"

"Well, see, since I only have scraps of memories, everything's a little hazy," Mina shrugged as though that weren't a problem. They both knew it was. But Mina was still speaking, "I do get three words from her--every single time," she added. "The first is always heartbreak," she held up a finger, leaving Rei befuddled as to how calm Minako was being about this whole mess. "The second," finger number two, "is betrayal." Her expression grew somber, one that Rei recognized as the trademark mask of Sailor Venus just before a tough battle. "And the last..." Were those tears pricking at the corners of Minako's eyes? Rei squelched the desire to lean in and check. If she didn't let Mina-chan finish, she'd never get this out of her again. "The last one is..." Minako gulped and averted her eyes, "failure."

Rei couldn't help but gasp. "That means--Beryl! When the princess...and Metallia..." Neither of them wanted to finish the sentence. But this was Minako talking--no, the Venusian princess, who'd been the leader of Princess Serenity's guard. She had failed. Failed. That was a disturbing thought.

"Yes," Minako murmured, carefully examining the stitching of her outfit. "That's exactly what it means. It's that big of a surprise that I'm depressed? With all that stuff?"

"No, not at all. But...what I don't understand is how you can be so calm about it," Rei ran a hand through her long tresses. "I...I know what you're talking about. It happens to me too."

"Wait! What?" Minako shot up from her position. Pointing an accusing finger at Rei, she shouted, "Rei, why didn't you tell me?!"

"Because I thought I was the only one! It would make sense with all my spiritual powers!" Rei screamed in response. Even though she knew she should've told Venus, Mars hated being told she made a mistake! Minako glared at her, a hand settled firmly on her hips, and Rei could almost see a furious Sailor Venus superimposed upon the image of her friend. Suddenly, Rei, looking ashamed, tucked her chin and folded her hands in her lap. "I didn't want to worry you. You have so much on your plate now that Crystal Tokyo's approaching. And it only happens when I'm communing with the Sacred Fire. I thought maybe it was because I have better spiritual awareness that I could hear her. I didn't mean to keep something from you, Venus."

There was a long silence. "It's alright, Mars," the leader of the sailor senshi reached out a hand to her second. "I suppose this means that Mercury--I mean Ami and Makoto will be hearing their past selves soon."

"I really am sorry, Venus. I thought I could figure it out myself, maybe stop the memories from coming back."

"Why don't you want them to come back, Rei-chan?" Minako asked. "I mean...I feel like I need to find out what happened. What's the saying?...those who don't learn from history are doomed to reread it?"

"Repeat it, Mina-chan. Repeat it. Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it. And you have a point. It's probably important, but..." The senshi of war wrapped her arms around herself and looked away. "I hate remembering."

"Rei-chan, why?" Rei knew without looking that her leader was wearing what Usagi had termed Minako's "I am so lost that I have no clue what you're talking about and can't even pretend to understand" look. It was very expressive.

"Because fighting and protecting Usa-chan--that filled my life, satisfied me. I was content to be doing my duty to my princess. And now, with the memories and that missing something, I feel unsatisfied in my duties as senshi of war. My past self is unhappy. So am I." Rei sighed, feeling the weight bearing down on her. Not without a great deal of effort, she pushed the sensation to the back of her mind. "It goes without saying that I don't like being unhappy. I keep thinking if I were to get rid of the memories, I'd stop being unhappy."

"Well that's foolish." Rei knew that musical voice! Ami!

"Ami-chan, how long have you been listening?" There was Ami-chan, coming around the corner of the shrine, a handful of books in her arms. She didn't look very pleased.

"You mean how long have we been listening," added the irate shadow behind Ami.

"Ah, Ami-chan, Mako-chan, we ah...um... Help me here, Rei-chan!" Mina panicked.

The taller senshi, dressed in a pair of comfy jeans, a cream tank top and a stylish pair of hemp sandals, came up behind Ami, put her hand on the senshi of wisdom's shoulder and glared at her comrades.

"When were you planning on telling us?" Makoto scowled. "Before Usa-chan and Mamoru-san took the throne?"

"Of course!" Minako shouted, fists clenched. "I've only been having them for just over a month! I wanted to get a handle on things before I told you guys."

"Wait! You've just been having them for a month!?" Rei turned and looked at Mina oddly. "I'm almost two months in!"

Mina suddenly looked abashed. "Ami-chan? Mako-chan? You guys too?"

Makoto coughed and twirled a chocolate strand around her finger. "Two and a half."

They all turned to look at Ami, who was strangely silent--and--Rei noticed--very pink in the face.

"Well, Ames, how 'bout it?" Minako asked, trying to appear nonchalant. With a mental note to teach her leader how to be more convincing, Rei looked closely at Ami. Was she embarrassed or something?

"Yeah, c'mon Ami," even Makoto was curious. Rei simply continued to watch her friend intently. Something was...off about Ami. There simply wasn't a better word for it.

"Ah...well...you see...for me..." the usually succinct girl stuttered. There it was; something was definitely going on.

"Please tell us, Ami," Makoto prodded gently.

"Um...just over three," the flushed girl mumbled.

"Three? Seriously, Ami-chan?" Minako was flabbergasted.

Rei, on the other hand, was pensive. It somehow seemed right that Ami should know first. The senshi of war hadn't the slightest clue why it was Ami should be first. But if they hadn't all started at the same time, there must be significance to that, right? She tucked that useful bit of information away.

Makoto, devoid of her usual tact, commented, "Ami-chan, you're blushing pretty hard. How come?" Poor Ami went red and began mumbling again. Minako looked about ready to join in on the interrogation, so Rei jumped to Ami's rescue.

"Girls, if she's been remembering long before us, it makes sense that she has more memories," Rei explained calmly, one hand out to quiet the love and protection senshi. "The memory that's making her blush is none of our business. I'm sure we're each supposed to remember at a certain time. If Ami tells us anything, she might throw a wrench in the process. A shock like that might...I don't think it would be a good thing."

"Rei-chan's right," Mina sighed. Rei and Ami thanked kami-sama their leader could be rational when she wanted to be. "But the missing thing--everybody has that?"

There were three simultaneous nods around the circle, but Rei noticed that Ami's blush hadn't faded. "Anybody got any clues as to what it's supposed to be?"

"I know," came Ami's small voice.