All your twisted thoughts free flow

All your twisted thoughts free flow

To everlasting memories

Show soul

Kiss the stars with me

And dread the wait for

Stupid calls returning us to life

We say to those who are in love

It can't be true 'because we're too young

I know that's true because

So long I was

So in love with you

So I thought

--So I Thought, Flyleaf

I never thought that attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry would change my life.

It did.

My mum was a Muggle, and my dad was Muggle-born. They met at a café in Paris right when Dad graduated, and were soon married. When they had me, they had a long discussion as to whether it would be better to raise me in the Wizarding world or the Muggle world—and determined that my life would be much easier within the world that I would soon join.

I rode my first broomstick when I was three. It's strange that I can remember back that far. Mum was furious at my father for letting me do such a dangerous thing. He always supported me in everything I tried. When things got tough, he was my rock, my support.

Mum, on the other hand, was the realist. "No need to cover up the truth," she always said, "because that leads to lies and betrayal."

When I was seven, my dad was killed—Mum and I were never told what really happened at the Ministry that day—I couldn't believe it. Daddy, my daddy, was dead. It's amazing how much you think about life fading away when someone close to you disappears, huh?

Mum raised me by herself from then on. I learned to believe in only the practical, only the sensible—and that's strange considering I had magical powers and we lived in a village where others had powers like me. I did not believe that love at first sight existed, and I did not believe that I could ever have a soul mate waiting for me. There was no point in squandering away my feelings for someone when I'd only end up hurt.

When I started Hogwarts I still thought the same way. I was going to school to focus on my studies and nothing else. Mum wanted me to succeed, graduate, and get on with my life.

And I was fine with that.

I was fine with that until I met Sirius Black.

When it came time for the beginning of my first year at Hogwarts, my mother and I arrived at Platform 9 ¾ with ten minutes to spare. I was a nervous wreck, checking once, twice, three times that I had everything I needed for the term.

"Janie, listen to me," Mum said as I looked at the barrier between Platforms 9 and 10. "You'll be fine, okay? Just don't let… things distract you from your school work."

I nodded my head and bit my lower lip. "I'll write to you every week?"

Mum smiled and gathered me into a hug. It was strange being that close to her. Usually she didn't like to have physical contact with anyone. Since Dad died, her reality was somewhat skewed and she sometimes forgot what world she lived in. I never tried to get close to her.

I hugged her back, though, smiling to myself. This Hogwarts thing was going to be something good in my life. I could tell.

Since Mum didn't want to face the Wizard population with me, I went through the barrier by myself. It was scary, and I took it at a bit of a run to get my nerves down. No such luck. Right in front of me was the most glorious train I had ever laid eyes on in my eleven years of existence. It was scarlet with smoke coming out of the front. People were all around me, trying to find their things and put them into compartments so they could say good-bye to their loved ones.

It was then that I realized I was completely alone. My mother didn't like going into the outside world after what happened to Dad, so I had to find my way by myself…as I'd done since I was seven.

I felt my shoulder get knocked into, my bag sliding off and almost spilling its contents onto the concrete. A boy turned around with light grey eyes and dark black hair, smiled slightly, and continued on as if I hadn't existed.

"Thanks a lot!" I yelled to him sarcastically, scowling. I adjusted the strap and pulled my large trunk behind me. The train was packed; all the compartments seemed to be filling up by the second. I finally found an empty one near the end of the train. "Thank Merlin."

I could sit down and be at peace, maybe even read a book. Never did I expect that my train ride would be interrupted in a few minute's time.

I felt the train jerk as we started pulling forward. Children were shouting out of the windows to their parents and saying their good-byes.

"Oi, anyone sitting here?"

My head jerked up to see a boy who was rather scrawny with round glasses and messy black hair. He smiled at me, and to be polite, I smiled back. "No, nobody is in here but me," I told him. "You're welcome to sit."

He grinned broadly and came bounding in, holding his hand out. "I'm James Potter, and you are?"

I took his hand (to be nice) and replied with, "I'm Jane Livings, but most people call me Janie."

Things were getting off to a good start, I thought. I'd already met someone new.

"You a first year, too?"

I turned my attention back on the boy named James and nodded. "I am, actually. I'm rather nervous about the whole sorting thing. I do hope I'm in Ravenclaw. That's where my dad was."

"Ravenclaw?" James questioned, wrinkling his nose. "Nah, I want to be in Gryffindor. That's where all the brave ones are. Yep, that's me."

I couldn't help but smile. He seemed to have all of his priorities straight. "Are you from a Pureblood family?" I asked casually. "My dad is—was a Muggle-born. He was in Ravenclaw. My mum's Muggle."

"Both my parents were in Gryffindor," James responded and leaned back in his seat, "which is why I know I'm going to get in there."

I sat there in silence. This boy was so confident, so full of life. I didn't have any friends from home that were my age, and I was sure that he was the kind of person I wanted to hang around. "James, listen, I was wondering—"

"Is there any more room in here?"

Both James and I focused our attention on the door, where it had slid open to reveal two boys. One was kind looking, with sandy brown hair and chocolate coloured eyes. The other one was the boy who'd knocked into me on the platform. His hair was onyx and his eyes were warmer than they'd been when I'd seen them before—they were grey, or blue; it was hard to tell without staring into them.

"Room?" James asked, scooting over. "There's plenty. I'm James Potter, and this here's Jane Livings."

"Sirius Black, at your service," the boy with the multi-toned eyes introduced, "and this is my new friend, Remus Lupin."

The other boy smiled confidently at us, and I looked down. I never was good with dealing with too many people. "It's nice to meet you," I said quietly, fumbling with my bag for a book.

Remus Lupin took a seat next to me and Sirius sat next to James. The three boys were bonding quite well, and I was just the remaining wheel. It was a horrible feeling.

"I'm hoping to get into Gryffindor," James was retelling Sirius and Remus what he'd told me. "My parents were both in there, as were my grandparents… generations of Potters."

"My family's all in Slytherin," Sirius said darkly. "If I don't get in there, I'm as good as dead."

I stared at him. "Good as dead?" I said, piping up for the first time in minutes. "That's ridiculous."

Sirius cocked an eyebrow at me and leaned forward. "Oh, really?" he asked.

"Really," I replied. "It's ludicrous for your family to have such high expectations for you to be sorted into Slytherin. It shouldn't matter what house you're in."

"But Jane," James started confusedly, "you just said you wanted to be in Ravenclaw because your dad was in that house. Isn't that sort of the same thing you're telling Sirius?"

I opened my mouth to retort with something witty, but I could not think of a single thing to say. Instead, Sirius spoke. "You want to be in Ravenclaw?"

I rolled my yes. "Yes, so?"

"Ravenclaw's for the smart kids."

"Are you implying that I have a low I.Q.?"

Sirius laughed. "Maybe, or maybe I'm saying you're one of the smart people that need to be in Ravenclaw. Take your pick."

Remus and James looked from Sirius to me, and then back to Sirius.

"You don't know me, so therefore you cannot make any judgments about my intelligence," I told him fiercely. "For your information, I will probably be the highest in the class because of my studying techniques and dedication to school. YOU will most likely be a slacker."

Sirius chuckled. "You're probably right about the slacker part," he commented, causing James to grin and Remus to look amused at the situation.

I fumed silently to myself for the rest of the train ride. Even when the trolley witch came round with sweets to satisfy me until my seventh year, and Sirius offered to pay for some Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans, I was seething. "I don't need your charity," I snapped and stuck my nose back into my book.

"It wasn't charity," Sirius countered as he slid the compartment doors shut. "I was offering to buy you something, there's a difference. Remind me not to be nice to you forever."

"Ah, Sirius," Remus said as he bit into a big slab of chocolate, "be nice to the girl." He sent me a smile that I returned kindly. I could tell that this Remus Lupin was going to be a good friend, just like James.

"Oh, bugger off, Remus," responded Sirius and smirked at me. I noticed that he had dimples, and the one on his left cheek was bigger than the one in his right. It was annoying. "Janie here will tell me when to leave her alone, right, Janie?"

"Leave me alone," I said to him immediately.

James roared with laughter and slapped Sirius on the back. "Looks like you made your first enemy, mate!" he told him.

"He's not my enemy," I said plainly. "I just don't like people who act arrogant and better than they really are."

"You mean yourself," Sirius retorted.

"Shove off." I could feel my face growing hot. "What… what I meant was… I mean, what I mean is… I mean…"

"Wow, Livings," began Sirius, "I never thought I'd see the day when someone other than my own family insulted me."

I looked at him, expecting him to be scowling, but he was grinning like a child. This was a game to him.

I could feel the train slowing down to a stop, and I quickly got up. "I have to change into my robes," I announced and left the three boys, feeling my face growing hotter by the second.

I ended up getting placed into Gryffindor, which my mother was not too happy about. She'd figured that I'd end up in Ravenclaw as well. James, Remus and Sirius were all put in Gryffindor, too, and I was happy that two of them were.

As for Sirius, I couldn't stand being in his presence. That was precisely why I spent most of my years at Hogwarts avoiding him. It was hard since I was good friends with Remus and James and Peter Pettigrew (whom we met at the feast), but most of the time it worked out well.

On the occasions I did have to deal with Sirius, he made fun of me. I was used to it by the time I got into my second year, and it became more of a routine.

I became really close friends with a girl named Alice Logan (she was in my year), and it was as if we'd been separated at birth. Since I had no real siblings to share things with, she became the honorary one.

This is my story. It begins at the start of my seventh year, because the events that followed are important. Nothing went according to plan, and all those things I thought I didn't believe in came tumbling down on my head.

This is Sirius's story. He would've wanted it written down because it affects everything we've ever known.

This is our story.