Intergalactic Seahorse

By Chibi Hime

AN: Okay, fluffy weird humor ahoy. Use discretion. CNS/MOA own the characters. I own the combination of words "Intergalactic Seahorse".

Kevin Levin looked as white as a sheet. His eyes stared blankly ahead, unable and unwilling to focus on anything.

The old Galvan's revelation hadn't given him any comfort. Not really.

Wow.

Things had certainly taken a turn for bizarre in the past forty-eight hours.

It had all started when Gwen had gone to the doctor.

Her last physical had indicated she was expecting. Two months had gone by and nothing about Gwen had changed. She had started to worry and had set up an appointment to go, somewhat disappointed that Kevin didn't ever want to go with her.

What she didn't know was that it wasn't from lack of support. He was just afraid that if he went, he'd be too tempted to ask about a chronic pain in his side he'd had for the last month. He's felt a swelling there over the past few weeks. He didn't want to worry Gwen with it. She had enough to worry about between their upcoming wedding, their move, her new job and now the baby. He didn't want to stress her any more than necessary.

He honestly wouldn't have given the pain a second thought..if he wasn't convinced there was a malignant tumor pressing against his arm. He had felt something out of place in his side for a few weeks now. He hated doctors and wasn't about to go to one. Kevin couldn't even remember if he had ever been inside a proper doctor's office. He'd always been too afraid they would find something irregular about him that would give them permission to hand him over to a lab somewhere. That wasn't something he was willing to risk, even now...especially now that he had people to take care of, who depended on him. No...he'd sit here and wait for Gwen to come home. He'd sit here with his left arm leaning on

She did.

She came home in tears.

The doctor had told her she wasn't pregnant, despite the fact that three at home tests and one office visit had said otherwise. Their baby was gone. Gwen sobbed and came up with countless theories about how her energy powers must have consumed the child's mana and how she must be responsible for its disappearance.

Seeing her like that ate at Kevin. He'd given the up talk of his life, even if his insides felt like they were falling apart, even if he too was wracked with despair. Ridiculous. He'd said that was impossible. He'd told her how it must be the fault of the know nothing Earth doctors. They needed outside help..they needed...

Azmuth and Myaxx.

As per Gwen's suggestion.

Not at all who Kevin had envisioned them to be. He picked up a bizarre chemistry between the two of them that made his mind wander to places he'd prefer it didn't. He really wanted some pizza right now. He quickly drew his thoughts back to the predicament at hand. Their baby was missing. A sobering thought indeed. More sobering than he could have imagined.

Ben had arrived shortly after the alien pair had run a series of tests on the two of them. He'd played the concerned cousin and the old friend all at once. Why did he even need to be there? Gwen was whispering something to him and the two of them kept glancing over at Kevin as Azmuth sat in his palm running a few more bio-scans.

The frog like tiny alien then crawled up Kevin's shoulder, where he sat down.

"Well, I have good news and delicate news. Which do you want to hear first?"

"The good," Kevin answered.

"Your baby is neither dead nor missing," Azmuth answered.

"That's good. The doctor was wrong, right?" Kevin asked hopefully, feeling vindicated in his dislike of Earth doctors.

"Not exactly, no. But, Kevin, you know what a sea horse is, don't you," Azmuth asked, a slightly impish grin on his face.

"Yeah," Kevin answered.

"Well, a male sea horse carries the female's fertilized eggs in a pouch until their gestation period is over. According to your genetic analysis, your alien ancestors had a similar trait,"

Ben smiled, the little bits of information clicking together.

"So Kevin is like...an Intergalactic Seahorse?"

The elderly Galvan smiled.

"Yes. There's nothing to worry about. Everything is perfectly fine. Everything is normal," Myaxx said, as her own scans proved the same point a microsecond later.

Gwen smiled widely.

"My baby is okay?"

Myaxx put a large hand on the girl's shoulder.

"Yes, she is fine. She's been with Daddy the whole time,"

The alien offered Gwen a handheld computer. Gwen's eyes lit up when she saw the screen.

"SHE! There she is! There's my little girl! She's okay...but...but where is is?...With Daddy...Intergalactic Seahorse?" Gwen's voice trailed off. Gwen's eyes widened. Kevin knew that look. It meant she knew something and was not going to share the information.

Kevin's face paled.

"What?"

Azmuth rolled his eyes.

"Haven't you been listening to a thing I've been saying?"

Kevin nodded.

"I have."

His eyes gave no indication that he had the slightest idea what any of them were implying. He'd heard plenty, but not absorbed any of it.

Azmuth sighed.

"I guess I have to spell it out. You and Ms. Gwendolyn have been...ah...intimate?"

"And how!" Kevin said grinning madly.

Gwen elbowed him in the back.

"Have you two been intimate in the time since her visit to the doctor two months ago?"

Kevin eyed Gwen's scowling face. He glared back with a Well, what? They already know look.

"Yes," he said simply.

"Ah ha. Have you been experiencing any side pains or abdominal cramps on the left side of your body?"

"Yes," Kevin answered, his eyes darting back and forth between everyone else in the room. Everyone had a knowing look and he felt completely in the dark. No, that was a lie. A lie to himself. He had a terrible sinking feeling.

"Having engaged in sexual activity after the child's conception activated a few of your dormant alien traits. Apparently, the biological sequence for the embryo switch was initiated,"

"Embryo switch?" Kevin asked, swallowing heavily.

"Well, yes. On you ancestor's homeworld, it is customary for mates to take turns serving as the host for the growing fetus. It is traditionally exchanged externally in later stages, but...in the early ones, the embryo is exchanged...intimately. Since Gwen's reproductive system is largely human, there isn't a way to...re-exchange the embryo once it reaches a certain size," Azmuth explained.

Kevin's face looked nervous. He grabbed Gwen suddenly.

"If we get intimate right now, Can I exchange it back?" he asked somewhat desperately.

"No. It is too late for that," Azmuth said, plenty happy about it.

Damn. He hadn't been in the mood for the past month and a half because he had thought he had a malignant tumor. Now he was ...oh god.

"You...you mean I'm...I'm," he couldn't bring him self to say it. He could hardly even think it.

"Kevin, you're, for the lack of a better word, pregnant," Azmuth said.

"Oh," Kevin said.

His eyes lost focus and his hand shook.

"I just..I just need to sit down"

And he did.

Right there on the floor.

That's where he was now.

White as a sheet and staring off into space.

Azmuth quickly hopped down from his perch.

"Honey, are you okay?" Gwen asked putting her hand on her fiance's shoulder.

"Me? Sure? Why not?" his voice sounded tinged with madness.

"Well, this is a little sudden. But, hey, our baby is okay...isn't that a relief?" Gwen asked.

He giggled a little at her comment.

"Yes...a relief yes," he said getting up again.

"Yes, Gwen! It is a complete relief that the lump in my side isn't a malignant, cancerous tumor! Wow! It is a baby! Our missing baby! Wouldn't you know it Gwen? She's been in my side the whole time! Yes! it is a relief that, as further proof of my freakish nature, I have been knocked up by my own fiance,"

"If it makes you feel better about it, technically, you knocked her up," Myaxx commented, in an attempt to calm him down.

"No! No it doesn't! It doesn't change the fact that I'm now a PREGNANT MAN! Last time I checked, that was humanly impossible!"

"Humanly, no. Hybrid, completely," Myaxx nodded, smiling.

She wasn't helping.

Kevin clenched his fist and his arm brushed against the lump on his left side.

"It...It's not manly," he whimpered.

"On the contrary, on..." Azmuth started.

"MY ANCESTOR'S HOMEWORLD IT IS NORMAL!" Kevin finished.

"Yes," Myaxx nodded.

"This is EARTH!" Kevin screamed. "It isn't normal here! It is weird...and why the hell is the damn thing on my side!"

Azmuth groaned.

"You're so dense. That's where your pouch is,"

"I don't have no stinking pouch!" Kevin snarled.

He felt Gwen gently roll up the bottom part of his shirt.

"Actually, it looks like you do. I always thought it was a scar or something," Gwen commented.

"It is a scar!" Kevin insisted.

"How did you get it?" Azmuth asked.

"I don't know...it has just always been there!" Kevin insisted.

"Pouch," Myaxx said smiling.

"Baby Pouch," Azmuth seconded.

"Think of it this way, no painful labor. When gestation is complete, she'll just pop right out of there," Myaxx smiled.

"Pop? Out of my 'pouch'?" Kevin asked.

"Yes!" the two alien scientists chimed in unison.

"Oh," Kevin said calmly.

Half a second later, the Intergalactic Seahorse was unconscious on the floor.