They'd Have Joined You

Disclaimer: The characters of Buffy: the Vampire Slayer belong to Joss Whedon and Mutant Enemy. I'm not making any money off of this story so don't sue.

Notes: I've never done a fic in reaction to an episode before and this will probably have a lot more dialogue than I usually include. Please read and review, but be gentle.

Spoiler warning: This story takes place the night after "After Life" and contains spoilers.


They'd Have Joined You

Spike found Buffy wandering in his cemetary on patrol. He caught up to her and shortened his stride to keep himself perfectly even with her.

"Evenin' pet."

"Spike." They were both silent for several minutes. "Do you want something Spike."

"Just to keep you company."

"I don't need a babysitter. I'm not going to try to kill myself. I don't want Willow to have to go to the trouble of resurrecting me again. So just go away."

"Can't do it luv. This is Hell, remember. That means I'll always be beside you, declaring my undying love for you. Though I guess I missed the memo about the Hell part. I mean I thought you always stopped Hell from coming to Earth."

Buffy growled. "You're going to use what I said against me?"

"Well, it was so dramatic when you said it but thinking about it, it just sounds almost stupid."

"STUPID!!"

"Yeah, stupid. You said you were at peace and all but it also sounded like there were no decisions, no challenges."

"Of course there weren't!! It was paradise!!!" Buffy quieted down and looked around guiltily, to make sure no one had heard.

"Well, this is just my opinion mind you, but that sounds bloody boring to me. If that's what heaven is then I definately believe in reincarnation. 'Cause you'd get sick of it right quick."

"How could you get... I-I mean, that's just ridiculous!"

"Really? You think Willow's idea of paradise would be to just sit around and do nothing, and just know everything, 'cause you're a part of everything? No way, the way her mind works her paradise would be getting to unravel the secrets of the universe and magic. No challenge, no joy"

"Yeah, that's true. But you don't understand, you can't. You weren't a part of it and you never will be."

"That's right. And if you repeat this I will deny it with every fiber of my being, but when the lot of you go I'll miss you all."

Buffy was silent this time, not able to think of a retort to that confession.

And, of course, I bet you regret that those bikers didn't come just a little sooner last night," Spike was knocked flat as he finished that sentence.

"How dare you suggest that I'd want them hurt, just for my benefit. I don't really remember details but I know I was upset whenever they were in fights."

"So every moment of Heaven wasn't pure joy? I'm shocked. The thing I'd always heard is once you pass on, then the worries of the world mean nothing to you. After all, if something happens then they just float on up and you get to be with them again. Bloody Hell, the best thing to happen would've been them blastin' in to town a half-hour earlier. Those bikertypes, they don't leave anything. Then all the Scoobies and all the people in this god-forsaken town, would've meet their final reward and been at ultimate peace. The trees would move back in and the Hellmouth would've been a hell of a lot harder to find. The whole world would be better off."

"Damn you, you monster. Shut up, or I'll make you shut up."

"I'm just suggesting that maybe it would've been for the best if that had happened. I'm not saying I'd have gone down without a fight, though. I just wanna make the fact I'd have fought for Dawn till I was dust, bust I've seen those type just rip the heads right off of other vamps."

Buffy was staring holes in him, he was pushing his luck. Time to put an end to this conversation. "You don't like that thought. That they'd have joined you, up there. You still cared about what happened here. Buffy, towards the end you kept talking about how death was your gift and it was. But maybe it was a gift given to you also. You've seen and fought so much, there's never been a Slayer that lasted as long as you since before the Master at least. Look at yourself and listen to yourself, the big thing on your mind is coming back. It's not any of the things you've fought in the past. Maybe the chance to die, to rest, to find out that you have a great reward for when you finally really die, was meant to rejueventate you for your future."

"Spike... that's the biggest load of crap I've ever heard."

"What can I say, I've got a poetic soul... but it was stuck in the ether when I was turned. I'm stuck with the leftovers. But, think about it Buffy. I really believe what I said."

"Maybe. To bad those Oracles that Angel used to talk to are dead. I could've just gone to them for an answer."

"I know a demon who can read people auras. If you were supposed to be dead all he could say to you is you're supposed to rot."

"That might come in handy."

"You have to sing for him, in his kaereoke bar."

"No chance."

"Come on Slayer, do you know how many demons you'd terrify. They'd be afraid to come here with the Slayer who won't die."

"I don't sing."

As they continued walking through the night the mood eased and Spike was certain that Buffy was at least contimplating what he had suggested to her.

The end