Author's Notes: I do not own any of the characters from Gone With the Wind. No money is being made from the writing of this. It is purely for the enjoyment of writing.

Chapter One

"For a moment he hesitated as if debating whether a kind lie were

kinder in the long run than the truth. Then he shrugged.

"Scarlett, I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments

and glue them together and tell myself that the mended whole was as

good as new. What is broken is broken--and I'd rather remember it

as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as

long as I lived. Perhaps, if I were younger--" he sighed. "But

I'm too old to believe in such sentimentalities as clean slates and

starting all over. I'm too old to shoulder the burden of constant

lies that go with living in polite disillusionment. I couldn't

live with you and lie to you and I certainly couldn't lie to

myself. I can't even lie to you now. I wish I could care what you

do or where you go, but I can't."

He drew a short breath and said lightly but softly:

"My dear, I don't give a damn." (Gone With the Wind, Mitchell. C. LXIII)

So she sat quietly staring the door, shrouded in a mantle of unbelief. Rhett could not be gone from her life. Rhett had been there for so long. She hadn't even realized how much she depended upon him to be her strength and support. And now she was alone with the shattered remains of her life and her marriage. She alone could pick up the broken pieces. And he had said that he couldn't sit and look at the mended, scarred remains and pretend that they were whole and new.

For an instant, in a rare moment of introspection she wondered if perhaps they should never have married. But at the time he had been so convincing in his conquest that marriage could be fun. And his kisses had been so intoxicating. And she had loved the thought of what his money could buy for her. She hated that their marriage seemed to have ruined the most important friendship in her life. Rhett was the only person that seemed to have understood her and what she was thinking. But now he was gone.

Additionally, the only other friend she had ever truly had was gone as well. The loss hit her like a stiff blow, causing her to double over in pain, the tight corset only adding to it. She struggled to breathe in deeply trying to push away the thought of Melanie being gone. But a deep breath was impossible with the constraints of the corset. Dear Melanie her mind pondered, who had stood beside her no matter what. Her thoughts briefly flashed for a moment to Melly standing at the top of the stairs with Charles's sword in her hand too weak to lift it. She thought of Melanie standing beside her at Ashley's birthday party after being caught at the mill in his embrace by India and Archie. She thought of that last sweltering day when Beau was born before they left Atlanta. Who would ever be able to stand by Scarlett the way Melanie had? Even through all of the crimes unknown to Melanie that Scarlett was guilty of.

So she remained sitting there as if frozen by the coldness of her broken heart. Melanie was dead, and Rhett was gone. But Scarlett knew that somehow, even these losses could be overcome in time even though at the moment she wasn't certain how. She was a survivor. And in time she was certain that Rhett would be back. Rhett loved her. Even if he said he didn't any longer. She could not fathom that anyone could resist her charms, not even Rhett. She only saw devoted fidelity in the eyes of her suitors despite the fact that Rhett was completely different from any of the others, for he saw the real her and he had loved her for it. But now he said that the love was gone.

Finally with no other thought than to be welcomed into the dark oblivion of sleep and to put this day behind her, Scarlett crept slowly up the stairs as if the weight of the world were pulling on her trying to drag her into the depths of the sea. The grand staircase seemed to reach into the heavens as she climbed her way up it. It seemed as if it would never end, that her penance would be to climb these steps until the end of eternity. Finally she put one weary foot in front of the other and made her way to her own bedroom.

The rose strewn carpet seemed garish and harsh after the simplicity of the Wilkes home. The pink drapes seemed to mock her. She had thought that Melanie's bedroom seemed as chaste as a school girl's room, but it was obvious that it was Scarlett's own room that was a celibate sanctuary. And it had all been for nothing. She had been loyal in her chastity to Ashley when it was obvious that he had not done the same.

She had turned Rhett away for no reason at all. And now Scarlett longed for his arms to be around her. She dreamed that he would return and join her in her bed. And without undressing she fell upon the bed and closed her eyes. Sleep tugged at her consciousness, and she slowly faded away desperate to rid her mind of the grief that was wearing upon her. But even in her exhaustion, she found no rest. She tossed and turned restlessly as her mind played through the events of the day and of the previous year. Each memory was an accusation of the wrongs that she had committed. Each loss was charge against her, as if all that she had lost had been lost because of her many sins. Finally a fitful sleep claimed her and she tossed and turned until the old nightmare returned in cold reality. It was now more than a nightmare, it had become life that very morning.

She awoke midday and rose shakily from the bed. She dressed herself absently, merely going through the motions without any heart or passion. But she would need to ready herself for the work involved preparing for Melanie's funeral, and she would need to break the news to Wade and Ella when she picked them up at the train station. Off handedly she wondered if Rhett had already left town. Perhaps he would be at the funeral. He always seemed to go on and on about what a lady Melanie was. It wouldn't seem right for him not to be there. But it also wasn't right for him to not be here now.

Scarlett trudged down the stairs and out the door to enter the waiting carriage. Despite everything that happened, she needed to be the one to meet Wade and Ella at the train station. It was not a task to be given to one of the servants. For the moment she thought of their dependence on her, and it was stifling. Also, Prissy was of very little use in calming their fears for Prissy was so easily scared that she had no skill in calming others. Scarlett was certain that their fears would be great. And the reality would be even worse than the fears. For the reality of the situation was that their fears had come to fruition in harsh cold reality.

The train chugged into the station blanketing those around in and inside the compartments in the dark soot that it belched out from its front. Scarlett remained inside the carriage waiting in silence for the children to join her. She dreaded this meeting. Nothing could have prepared them for the losses that they had already gone through let alone the truth of the entire situation. Both Rhett and Melanie had played vital roles in their lives.

Finally the door was opened and Ella's pinched face stared at Scarlett as she climbed into the carriage, closely followed by Wade. Prissy quickly joined the driver up in front, leaving Scarlett and her children alone. Both pairs of eyes searched their mother's face, looking for the news that Wade dreaded to hear. And from the look on his mother's face, the answer was obvious. Aunt Melly was not just sick. He knew it without being told. Aunt Melanie was dead.

Wade's chin trembled as he fought off the tears that were threatening to pour from his eyes. "Is Aunt Melly… gone?" He couldn't find the strength to say the word. He couldn't say Aunt Melly was dead even though it was an incessant refrain in his mind.

Scarlett nodded, her eyes pale as if the tears had washed the color from them. Finding her voice she said, "I'm sorry."

Wade nodded. "I'm sorry too, mother."

Ella sat across from her mother seemingly uncomprehending of the situation. "Where has Aunt Melly gone?" she asked.

Scarlett was taken aback by the question. She paused for a moment to gather the words to explain the situation to the child. "She's in heaven with Bonnie."

Ella shook her head furiously. "No!" she cried. I don't want Aunt Melly to be gone. I need Aunt Melly. It's your fault mother! It's your fault!"

Scarlett was startled by the angry outburst. She was prepared for tears, but Ella's anger was met in Scarlett's own grief and her own guilt over the situation. The brightness returned to Scarlett's eyes as the color rose in her cheeks, the anger of the grief eroding the sadness and tossing it aside carelessly as one tosses away a wildflower.

Ella's usual timidity was forgotten as she launched herself at her mother with all of the fire and energy of her grandfather before her. Ella beat furiously against Scarlett's chest as the wails began to pour forth, angry piteous wails that echoed in the small space making Wade long to cover his ears to quench the deafening sounds. But he did nothing, and he remained in his seat dumbfounded by the situation.

Ella's small fists slowed in their angry pattern as the anger turned into tears. She fell into her mother's lap, spent from the explosion at the news of Melanie's death. Scarlett absently reached out and patted the child's head. The action was foreign to her. She had never been the one to comfort her children in their times of grief. That job had always fallen to someone else, to anyone but Scarlett. But now it seemed that there was no one else.

Ella seemed to be content to bury her face in her mother's black skirts as she sniffled trying to regain her composure. Scarlett was momentarily horrified by the discovery that Ella was leaving tear stains on the dress, but she pushed down her annoyance and continued in her awkward petting of the child's hair for there was little else that she felt capable of doing. And Wade remained stoically unmoved by the situation. He remained calm and collected despite the rising tide of emotions her hid on the inside. He was the little soldier ready to face death as his mother had instructed him to be during the war.

But Scarlett inwardly grimaced, for the children still knew nothing of Rhett's departure. She waited tensely on edge waiting for one of them to ask for him. She knew that eventually that the questions would come. And as Scarlett was still unsure of the entire situation in her mind, she had no idea what answer to give to them.

As she churned the thoughts in her mind she remembered on fact that she had neglected in her musings. Rhett had promised to visit to keep gossip down. And in these windows of opportunity Scarlett saw her chance to recapture his affection. Unbeknownst to her he had been chasing her for years before she had accepted his proposal. So now it was her turn to be the pursuer instead of the pursued.

With new determination in her eyes, she raised her chin and stared out of the carriage into the afternoon light as they headed to the Wilkes to offer assistance. And Beau would need playmates. And Ashley would need her. Now that Melanie, Ashley's strength, was gone; he would need a new source of strength. He would need her.