AN: A small ficlet to get my mind off the despairing 3rd chapter of my 30 kisses challange. I was really bored, and it's almost entirely pointless, and surely quite out of character, but there is something I can't put my finger on that I like about it, so I posted it nonetheless. Enjoy. :3

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"Sanji-kun."

"…mh?"

"Are you still somewhat awake?"

"…for you, always."

She sceptically furrowed her brows, that sure didn't sound very convincing. With an undefinable look in her eyes that showed something of regret, hope and gloom at the same time, she gazed down at his relaxed face, framed by blond hair. Her eyes roamed from his closed lids to his half-opened lips and eventually down to his collarbone, over his bare chest, over his abdominal muscles and then met up with the blanket that obstructed her view further down; which didn't mean that her imagination wasn't able to rebuilt everything that was reserved in the detail.

"Nami… uh, Nami-san?"

His voice fetched her back to reality and her stare speeded his body upwards, back to his face, where she found herself looking directly into his half-closed blue eyes. She offered him an almost honest smile.

"It's okay. Say Nami. Just Nami is fine."

Sluggishly, he straightened up a bit to base himself on his elbows, his face was still drawn by their exhausting activities of the past few hours; she almost had to surpress a smirk when she saw that his arms were still shaking a little. He tiredly blinked at her in silence and she stared back, suddenly feeling like a complete stranger to him for some reason. Even though they had been as close to each other as two people could possibly become only minutes ago. Even though that, in this very moment, she felt as if this was the first time they met.

"What's the matter?"

She looked at him like he was made of glass.

"Hm."

He stared back, questioningly, full of expectation, wearily and she turned her gaze away from him, let her face sink into the pillow to surpress that nagging feeling welling up inside of her. Somehow she wanted to disappear, she felt so washed-out, so effete. Something inside of her was crying, for a reason that was entirely beyond her, something was incredibly petrified. She felt his stare on her bare back and it felt like she suddenly became an open book. She could swear that he knew what she was thinking, what kind of person she really was, now, after those hours. But she could also swear that he still couldn't really grasp her.

And before she knew what she was doing, she voiced the question that was tormenting her for a fairly long time. The question that had kept her from giving in to him earlier. The question she had brushed aside when her desire had become so unbearable that she had feared it would erode her if she wouldn't have given herself up to him.

The question that instantly made clear what an enormous mistake this had been.

"Now that you had me… how does your ego feel?"

She could practically hear him stop breathing for a heartbeat and bit her lower lip, pressing her face only more into the softness of the pillow to muffle a quiet sob and also to stop herself from really crying. There was nothing to cry for. She had known it after all. She had known it right from the start. Ever since she had seen him shower another woman with the same compliments that were originally only meant for herself. That had been when she had known that she wasn't the only one for him at all, let alone the one.

She had known that this was no love.

"What do you mean?"

His voice was barely more than a hoarse whisper, but nevertheless it gave away so many emotions that it was completely pointless to try and name them all. Some would say his whisper was full of disappointmeant, but she would have sworn an oath that it was nothing but shame. Shame, because she had found him out. Because she was right.

When she was sure that she had gathered up enough courage and that her countenance was unshakable, she raised her face from the pillow and turned around to him to reward him with a look that touched him to the quick.

"You know exactly what I mean."

He furrowed his brows to a puzzled frown that made his expression seem almost exasperated, but the next moment it evaporated again, making space for his usual composed face. He lazily reached out his hand to grab for his cigarettes lying on the nightstand beside her bed and fished out one with his lips. Light flickered on in the darkness, and then a cloud of smoke encircled him. She watched his actions with a bitter expression, followed the path of the smoke from his lips to somewhere with her eyes. And when he inhaled again, she said it.

"Gimme one, Sanji."

He promptly choked on the recently inhaled smoke and instantly coughed it out again, where it mingled with the damp air inside of her cabin. He gave her a startled look, still coughing, his eyes widened and she only stared back with a bored gaze. Then she sat up and stretched forward her hand, demandingly.

"C'mon, gimme. I wanna try it out. There's gotta be something you find delicious about them."

For a while, he just kept on staring wordlessly at her in pure haggardness. When he woke from his numbness, he smiled slightly. "You never let me answer your question."

She narrowed her eyes. "You never actually tried to answer."

"But I was going to."

"Well, you should've done it earlier!"

Angrily, she avoided his gaze, bent over him and reached out for his cigarettes, but shortly before her fingers could grasp the package, they were caught by a big male hand, so firmly that she couldn't free herself. She watched in defiance how he brought her hand up to his mouth and brushed his lips against it in a soft kiss, his smooth stubble tickling her skin. He determinedly searched for her eyes, but she continued to avoid his stare, she didn't want to look at him, to drown in his eyes again, but when he softly touched her cheek and turned her face toward him, she couldn't help it anymore; and suddenly it was like somebody stopped the world for a short, albeit breathtaking moment.

"Nami, I love you."

Much to her shame, her eyes actually began to burn with the sudden sensation of tears welling up inside. "Liar. You love every woman."

He grinned. "Yeah, I sure do. Just as I love to cook."

She glared at him in hurt. "I knew you'd-"

"But I love you. Just as I love All Blue."

She instantly fell silent, instantly understood how grave the difference was, how many worlds and galaxies were parting her from all the other women. His grin was honest, coming from the bottom of his heart and only that… calmed her. Made her feel that all of her worries were entirely baseless, completely false and stupid and childish.

His fingers gently touched her cheek. "You really thought I was just toying with you? You really did?" He leaned his forehead against hers, his hot breath tickling her face, the cigarette burning down in the astray. "I could never do that to my best friend. To every other woman, but not to you."

She closed her eyes and indeed, only small and hidden in the corners of her mouth, a faint smile began to form on her face. Something inside of her still wasn't entirely convinced that it actually was the truth, but everything else was begging her to believe him nonetheless. No matter if it was true or not, to just trust him. At least trying to. Someday, she would find out whether it was a lie or not anyway. Whether he truly deserved her or not.

Until then, she would just love him.

"Then the right side of the bed is yours now."

Owari