Okay, major thanks to random inspiration.
I thought and thought and thought about a new one-shot, but I was bone-dry for ideas.
Then THIS popped into my head!
Magical!
(Jumps out a window)
WEEEE!
DISCLAMER: I own none of the original.
It was unbelievable.
Dib, the oh-so mighty Dib, defeated at long last!
Zim let out a roar of laughter, filling up the small ship with a sickening crackle. Gir joined in, simply ecstatic that his master was simply enjoying himself. A single figure in the ship stayed silent, as to him this was far from a laughing matter. His throat froze up in defeat whenever he dared to open his mouth. What could he say, when there was nothing left?
The small Irken turned to his fallen rival and smirked. "You really should watch Dib-Stink. I never have seen Earth so beautiful. I never thought Earth could even be beautiful."
And as sickening as it sounded, Dib did want to see. Vivid images of fire ripping apart his beloved home, waves of unbearable heat smashing down entire cities at time… No, he didn't have to see. He knew what was becoming of his home.
What's going to happen now? He wondered. Earth was my home, and I failed it. Earth is dead.
"What are you thinking about human?" Zim asked cruelly. He pulled up a chair so he could across from Dib. "You haven't said one word to Zim, not one! You never even did so much as look at me… well that doesn't matter much now. The Massive is coming, and your beloved home will be very useful for Irk."
Dib opened his eyes halfway, keeping back the tears. His arm hung uselessly at his side, sending up shots of pain. It got broken in that final fight. "Killer…"
The black stalks on Zim's head jolted upwards at the sound of Dib's voice. It was small and weak, but he somehow could still hear it. "Killer," Zim laughed. "Stupid human, I just killed your entire family! Every person you have ever met, or ever even seen, is dead! There is no more Poop Cola, no more meat, no more hideous humans that weigh more then my house! Dib-Stink, I deserve more then the mere title of 'killer', for Zim has completely annihilated you!"
And all during this rant, Zim made exaggerated hand movements at Dib. He pointed and shook his fist… but nothing was getting to the boy. Dib didn't show any signs that he had even heard Zim.
Well… Zim wasn't about to let his greatest victory go sour. He inched closer to Dib, grinning widely. "I really did mean it when I said Earth would be useful. My Tallest will also be bring these special ships… I won't go into detail. Your brain won't be able to handle it. But bottom line, the ships will cover your entire planet with black tar."
Dib still, made reaction.
"Didn't you hear me human? I just said your entire planet was going to be used as a parking lot! We are going to transport it to someplace else, like Foodcourtia. Doesn't that make you mad?"
"You killed Earth." Dib muttered. "You can't just kill Earth."
Zim gritted his teeth. "Well, I just did!" He yelled, "and if you don't believe me…"
Dib cried out in pain as the Irken viciously threw him across the floor. He felt himself being picked up, Zim with his tight grip on his dusty black hair. "Take a look for yourself." Zim seethed though his teeth.
Silence filled the ship, save for a small clatter of glass breaking in the back, thanks to Gir. Dib gazed out at the dying gray planet. All the magnificent colors of blues and greens melted away to reveal muddy brimstone. It was seemingly as dead as the moon, the only points of activity was spontaneous explosions of mushroom clouds.
Shudders ran down his spine as he felt Zim whisper in his ear. "It was really easy Dib-Beast… I only had to fire one missile at the White House. All I had to do then was sit back and enjoy the show. Your country starting accusing other countries, while North Korea laughed its head off, allies joined together, the government crashed the Internet for safety reasons… Next thing you know, it's World War III."
That's sounds about right… A part of Dib wanted to kill Zim; he was still amazed by the tiny fact that Earth was still there. A smirk crawled across his face. "Earth has a spirit Zim."
"What?"
"Earth has a spirit. My planet is alive. My Dad would call me crazy… but I swear, I would hear it whisper to me at night."
Zim let out a grunt of disapproval. "Maybe you are crazy."
0o0
The tar ships came and went, and the Massive hovered not too far from the black-crusted planet. The Tallest stood in front of Zim, with expressions that were all too difficult to read.
"Well Zim," Red started. "I supposed you deserve an award…"
Zim beamed with pride. He held out his hands, expecting a medal or something else along those lines. Dib was on his knees, just staring at the black pavement. He shook feverishly, but no one seemed to notice or care.
"…If you hadn't taken so long!" Purple finished off. "Seriously, Skooge finished faster then you. And he is really fat!"
Zim staggered on the spot, feeling a little caught off guard. "Yes, but… I have taken over nine planets really!"
"Nine?" Red asked.
"Yes! Earth was in control of nine planets, and with Earth defeated, all nine belongs to Irk!" Zim grinned excitedly.
Red and Purple looked at each other thoughtfully. "Well," Purple whispered. "Nine parking planets can be really useful."
"Six."
Zim turned suddenly, and shook his fist with anger. "Who asked you to speak?" He screamed.
"Six." Dib repeated. "We blew up Mars and Mercury, remember? And Pluto was never a planet."
"Shut up!" Zim screamed again. "You don't speak unless your master commands you to!"
Red chuckled. "You can't even keep your slave in line!" he taunted. "Anyway, six is a lot less useful then nine."
The ground beneath their feet began to rumble, but he quake was over as quickly as it started. Red shot Zim a look. "What the hell was that?"
Zim shrugged. "I don't really know…"
"Five." Dib whispered. He pressed his cheek against the hot pavement with a small thin smile. "Make that five."
"I said shut up!" Zim pointed his laser gun at the boy's head. No, Dib wasn't going to make him look like a fool in front of his Tallest. "Go be crazy somewhere else."
"You couldn't even get a healthy slave, pathetic." Purple rolled his eyes. "Whatever, six parking planets should be good enough for Mallcourtia. You will get a nice little sum for it too."
"Enough for you to go on vacation… forever." Red added.
Zim saluted. "That sounds wonderful my tallest! But I could never leave Irk forever."
The ground began to shake again, more violently this time. Red gave Purple a serious look. "We're leaving." He said. Zim reached out arms in protest.
"No! Wait!" He cried. Zim felt the black tar under his feet crack and tear, sending out ear splitting noises. "The ship!"
He turned again, this time to make a mad dash to his only escape, but the ground cracked open, swallowing up the craft. The pavement made waves under his feet, and Zim was forced to balance himself on his spider legs. Panicked, he looked back down. Dib was gone, disappeared under the earthen ruble.
Liquid fire poured though the openings, shooting up towers of flames. Sparks flickered in Zim's eyes. For a brief moment, he forgot everything. He forgot his name, his insane robot that was trapped in his now doomed ship, his homeland, and his beloved leaders whom had just abandoned him. He even forgot his fear of death. For a single brief moment, he knew nothing but the fiery landscape before him. And for that brief moment, he swore he heard whispers.
0o0
Every little drone and tall guard was beside himself or herself with utter glee. Shouts of celebration echoed though the halls. Red and Purple even broke out the finest bottles of soda for the occasion.
The little stupid planet that the infamous Zim took so long to destroy was exploding before their very eyes!
"Here is to Earth!" cheered Purple, clacking his glass against Red's. Red laughed loudly.
"It is just like that weirdo to take over a rotten planet." He snickered.
Purple took another sip, with a thoughtful expression. "But… I wonder what made such a young planet explode like that."
Red shrugged. "Maybe it was angry."
0o0o0o0o0
END NOTE
Okay, even I got to say that was lame.
(Rolls over and dies)