a/n: my first fanfic i'm not a writer, i'm a reader but i thought i'd take a whack at it b/c i have some of ideas floating in my head tell me what yall think D.

Anew Redemption

HA. My birthday. My 18th at that!

You'd think the day of joyousness would be a land mark in time for me of happy memories, coming of age with more rights (to vote, live on my own, to marry..), be an adult, be with my love and his family we share.

But miserably it is not so for me, I know I was different from normal human teenagers but I didn't think it would be to this extent. Where I end up broken barley wanting to be apart of the rest of existence. Alone. Between pain and numbness...

After the heart wrenching attack I received on my birthday I awaited the moment when Edward would finally talk to me. I was getting worried that the repercussions of jaspers attack were more serious than I initially thought because I hadn't seen Alice in the past three days for school.I felt so cold and alone as Edward put on fake charade or avoided me just to get through the day. By the end of the third day I had enough he was going to clear up this depressing situation to me. When he opened up to me, just a little, but it was enough to do its damage and confuse me more immensely, he said he didn't' want me, they were all gone and now he was leaving me too. I went into complete shock as he ran away, WAS RUNNING AWAY FROM ME!

I was later found shivering in the darkness of the Forks infamous woods by someone big and warm. I only cared enough to look upon his face once, this man who was: taking me away from where Edward was last with me, saving me from my self. Then the rest was of that night and my life as I new it was a smudged non remember able time in my mind which I fell that was lost too, to never function properly like my body, a rusted piece of junk, abandon with no longer a purpose than to shrivel away to dust.

For a month I was in a catatonic state doing enough to get by, eating enough to survive but I lost much needed weight, I did not care, how people kept their distance from me - a reaction to how I looked I'm sure or maybe from the fact I would ignore them. I was a disease among the living society.

So I decided to remove myself from it, I left school and took a drive to nowhere in particular, not taking notice of how I was driving. Looking in my mirror I saw a cadaver starring back. Screeching loudly at the horrid image that surely was not mine into the confines of my car, I stomped on the breaks before I lost control of the car too. That purpose only got me off the road- out of the way of others- but the jarring stop rammed my head into the wind shield. Black out.

It's so dark and cold here, I wonder did I die? Does anyone care? Does anyone know? I could smell a salt and rusted scent around me and feel a warm liquid secrete and dribble off the side of my face.

I guess not.

I wedged my eyes open to small slits until my they could adjust. I noticed I was still in my truck on the side of the road while it was still raining out. My eyes shot open like bats from hell, I didn't know how much time had past but my mind had never felt clearer in the past months.

This has to end I said to my self.

I wanted to, no needed to alter my life drastically, so that with my new life I would no longer feel the pain of the old one. I want to be bad.

I scanning my surroundings, I took a glimpse of some motor cycles with a for sale sign next to them.

Perfect.

I noted that they where on the curb of a front lawn some garbage off to the side of them.

Close enough.

Hopping out of the car I slammed the door shut and strolled up to the front door letting the rain wash away any evidence of my incident. A few knocks on the door then it was swiftly opened by a younger looking guy, I probably went to school with him. "Hi", I chattered as I was soaked through from the rain.
He responded sweetly, "Hey Bella what brings you here?" Huh nice kid.

"I was wondering if I could buy your bikes from you", as I nodded my head in the bikes direction.

"They are not for sale, my parents are throwin em out but you can have em if you want. They'll need major repairs though to bring em back from the dead", he smiled very amused at the situation.

"Alright thanks, I have a friend who can help me with that." I countered.
"Sweet then I'll help you load them up on your truck." The bikes where a bit heavy but we managed and soon after a good bye I was flying down the road as fast as my senior citizen would allow me, to an old friend I haven't visited in awhile.

As I rolled up to the familiar little house I saw tallish figure walk out onto the porch, aware of my arrival. No doubt to the loud engine my truck is equipped with. "Oh my lord. Hey bella!!" they guy sang to me ecstatically as he ran up to my and pulled me up in a huge bear hug.
"Hello Jacob. How have been since last time I've seen you?" I smiled at him endearingly. I hope he doesn't mind the state I'm in because he's it he's the one that's going to help me remake my life in to something complete different then any one expected. Starting with these bikes (laughs evilly to self)..

Jpov:
Wow I'm surprised to see Bella here... wanting to be with me! She doesn't look like she's holding up well since that ass had left her, she's as pale as they were and i can see her bones sticking out more. grr next time i see that leech he's going to feel the full wrath of my furry for what he has done. Yet she feels so good to hold in my arms i don't want to stop. I hope she'll let me hold her some more and other things…mmm.