A/N: The end...I think. Yea, it is. " ) Bensler

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Chapter 33 – Coincidence

Outside Benson Residence – Saturday, September 27 – 8:25 p.m.

The red and blue flashing lights of the ambulance and police cars were akin to slaps across his face, each one screaming 'she's dead - she's gone - it's over - you're too late'. Every breath came hard and ragged, as he fought to inhale the sustaining air. The fierce pounding of his heart against his chest was so hard it literally caused a deep ache within him. The car squealed to a screeching halt and he jumped out not even bothering to shut off the engine or close the door, the red light on the dash still sending its emergency signal into the night. He rushed to Olivia.

Running past two police cars, he had just come around an ambulance, when he was stopped dead in his tracks by the sight of two EMTs wheeling a stretcher down the sidewalk. The body was completely covered and it took every ounce of strength he had left not to pass out on the spot. His breath caught painfully in his chest like a huge, expanding bubble and the banging of his heart was even more vicious than before. Stepping up to the stretcher, he reached out to pull the sheet from the body.

Immediately hands caught his, stopping him. "Sir! Step away, please!" the tallest EMT pulled Elliot back just enough that he could not lift the sheet.

"NYPD! Get out of my way!" he growled, flashing his badge and roughly pushing past the EMT. "She's my partner!" his voice had distorted to a whisper, cracking as he said 'partner'.

"Sir?" the EMT frowned.

Elliot caught the corner of the sheet and held his breath. With violently shaking hands, he slowly, torturously, pulled the sheet from the body. As the pale face came into view Elliot's body visibly imploded. The slumping of his shoulders, the ragged breaths tearing loudly from his lungs, as his own face paled, completely transforming him. Staggering backwards, he then fell forward putting his hands on his knees and his head as far down as he could. Just as the vomit was expelled onto the sidewalk, he heard his name through the creeping fog that now permeated him, body and mind and soul.

"Elliot?" Fin's concerned voice seemed distant, in a barrel. "Elliot? You okay, man?"

A blank stare from red rimmed eyes shining with unshed tears was the only response from Elliot. It was then that Fin understood and it hit him full force.

"Oh, man! You thought that was 'Livia!" He looked toward the stretcher now being loaded into the ambulance.

Fin's hand on his shoulder brought him out of the haze a little more as his words began to make a bit of sense in his mind overloaded by scrambled emotions.

He grabbed Fin by the collar and pulled him to his face. "It's not her…Liv…she's not…it's not…too late…it's not too late…is it?" his voice was hollow and raspy.

Before Fin could reply, Elliot let him go and wiped at his mouth with trembling hands, shaking his head. "Tell me it's not too late, Fin! Please!"

Fin grabbed him under his right arm and pulled him up the steps of the building, "Nah, man…come on…EMTs are workin' on her…she's hurt…but she's talkin' and she's askin' for you."

Asking for him. She was asking for him. The words pierced the fog and relief flooded through him as he felt his strength returning.

Benson Residence – Saturday, September 27 – 8:31 p.m.

Fin cleared the way through the multitude of officers, CSU and ME techs, and other personnel, to bring Elliot to Olivia. The bullet hole in the door made him cringe. As they entered the apartment, he noticed the wrapper from the deli down the street lying on the kitchen counter and absently wondered if she got her usual turkey on whole wheat with mustard. She hated mayonnaise. Making their way around the crush of people, Elliot could not miss the huge spot of blood on the carpet in front of Olivia's bedroom. A CSU tech was bagging a sample of it. The nausea hit him again but he managed to hold it back when he heard her voice. It was music to his ears. His name on her lips was all he needed to right everything.

"El…where's El? You said he was coming…aaaagghh! Do something…please…I…I can't…breathe…it hurts…" her voice echoed her pain as she pleaded with the EMTs.

"Try to take it easy, Liv…they're doing everything they can," Jake assured her, holding her hand and talking quietly, his face close to hers.

"Need Elliot… can't…I can't…" the words broke off as she gasped for breath.

Elliot could see her. The gray tee shirt she was wearing was covered in blood and suddenly his nausea was back. It was all he could do to focus on her and not his churning stomach. He went to her side, taking her hand as Jake moved to make room for him, bending to put his face near hers, he kissed her cheek several times, "Liv, baby, I'm here. I'm here. You're okay…you're okay."

She grabbed at him, holding him to her. "Love…you," she started to cry but then couldn't get her breath again.

"Sir…I'm sorry, but we need to get her stabilized and ready for transport," the EMT spoke in a firm voice, but his eyes were kind and understanding.

Another EMT pulled Elliot away, but not before he replied, "I love you, too, babe."

Fin and Jake exchanged looks. They were aware things had changed between the two since the Delgado incident, but were totally surprised when they were so open about it, both verbally and physically.

Alarmed at her struggle for air, Elliot asked, "What's wrong? Was she shot?"

"No, sir. Detective Zoumberis told us she has been recuperating from a collapsed lung. We're fairly certain that it's collapsed again during the struggle with the intruder. He also fell on her and that could have caused it as well," the EMT explained.

"What?" Elliot was incredulous.

He needed to know what had happened. Olivia was the only one who could tell them and she was not able to do so right now.

Beth Israel Hospital – Saturday, September 27 – 9:07 p.m.

Olivia was experiencing very sharp pains in the back of her lung. Since they were less than five minutes from the hospital, these EMTs chose to wait and let the doctors decide what to do. Once they arrived, she quickly found herself being assessed. An x-ray showed a forty percent collapse of her left lung and they were preparing her for the insertion of a chest tube. She was confused because just yesterday her doctor had told her she was healing quite well. She was going back to work Monday. This could not be happening. Not again. Remembering how unbearably painful the first one was, she balked at the procedure. After arguing with her for several minutes, the head doctor sent for Elliot.

"It can't be collapsed again – it's not possible!" her frantic voice carried over all the others in the room to pierce Elliot's heart.

He realized she was nearly hysterical and wished there was a way to take the pain for her.

No! No! I don't want the tube! No! You are not going to do that to me!" she cried.

"Liv, honey, they have to do the chest tube," his whispered voice did little to soothe her as he stroked her forehead.

"No, no, Elliot. Dr. Reyes, said I was healing fine…please…don't let them do this! Call Dr. Reyes, please…the tube hurts so much," she begged. She once again began to labor for air and grimaced in pain with each inhalation, pulling her hand from his in order to clutch her chest.

He could not recall ever seeing her like this. Afraid. Of pain or anything else. He was afraid for her and each breath she worked so hard to inhale upset him to no end, but he knew the procedure would help her breathe properly. He had to convince her.

"He also said there was a forty to sixty percent chance of this happening again. I'm sorry, sweetheart, but they have to do it once more. I'll be right here with you, okay?" he poked a strand of her hair behind her ear.

She grasped at his hand, "You'll stay here…you won't leave?"

"I'll be right here holding your hand," he smiled as he stared into her eyes.

Beth Israel Hospital – Sunday, September 28 – 12:17 a.m.

Jake had just come back from the morgue and found Elliot and Fin talking with Olivia's doctor.

"Unfortunately, a chest tube is only a temporary solution. Though it does not actually heal the lung, it prevents it from collapsing and hopefully gives it time necessary for the lung to heal and begin to functioning properly on its own. Once a lung has collapsed two or three times, repeat occurrences become so common we advise the patient to undergo a more serious, corrective surgery," Dr. Kinnon explained to Elliot, Jake and Fin.

The worried look on Elliot's face mirrored that of Jake and Fin. "Surgery? What would that entail? Is it dangerous?"

"To prevent recurrent spontaneous pneumothorax it is necessary to cause a permanent adhesion between the visceral pleura and the interior of the chest wall. This can be accomplished thoracoscopically by with a mechanical pleurodesis or direct physical trauma to the parietal pleura…" Dr. Kinnon stopped his explanation upon noticing the confused looks on the men's faces.

"I'm sorry…let me try explaining it in a different way. The problem is a recurrence of a spontaneous pneumothorax, more commonly known as a collapsed lung. The process to fix it is fairly simple, although a moderately serious one. The surgery requires two half-inch incisions between Ms. Benson's ribs, one for the camera and one for a special tool. The wall of the chest cavity will then be rubbed with the tool, forcing it to excrete a natural protein that will cause the expanded lung to adhere to the chest wall much like Velcro or a tongue stuck on a frozen pole. This should prevent it from collapsing again," he smiled at the men.

"Should?" Elliot asked.

"There is a two to three percent chance of recurrence even with this surgery, but I've only seen it a handful of times in my twenty-six years as surgeon. She will have to remain in the hospital for about a week, but can return to desk work after several weeks," he answered.

"Thanks, Doc," Elliot sighed and looked over at Jake and Fin. "She's not going to be happy about this…more recuperation."

"And still tied to a desk when she comes back," Fin added.

Turning to Jake, Elliot wanted to know details about the attack. "What'd you find out about the perp?"

Jake, suddenly nervous, shifted from one foot to the other before meeting Elliot's eyes, "Name's Crenshaw Bevvins. From Albany. He's…the cousin of…David Mawr."

"The dude we talked to in Albany? With the missing cutters?" Fin asked in disbelief.

"Yea…he left a message Friday night at the night desk, but said it could wait until Monday. The officer on duty last night decided to call it into me… by the time I talked to Mawr and put two and two together… but it was too late…he was already at Olivia's when I got there," his eyes darted between Elliot and to Fin.

"Any idea why this Bevvins creep is fixated on Liv?" Elliot crossed his arms over his chest.

"Uh…I…it wasn't her he was after…it was me," Jake confessed.

"You?" Elliot's eyes narrowed as he tilted his chin up and fixed his stare on Jake.

Jake nodded, sighed and ran his hand through his hair. He looked at Elliot, "Ten years ago my partner and I arrested his wife for running a drug ring out of her daycare center. She killed herself in prison. He never believed she was guilty. Crenshaw Bevvins killed my partner, Anna, in the middle of the squad room right in front of me. The last thing he told me was 'now you know what it's like to lose someone you love.'"

"How could you not know he was out? You should have told us about him!" Elliot dropped his hands to his side, the fingers bending to become fists.

"I…I didn't know…how could…" Jake started but Elliot turned on him.

"You son of a…" Elliot shoved him and Jake stumbled backward.

"Elliot! Come on, man!" Fin pulled him off of Jake.

"You really think if I knew that I would put Liv in jeopardy?" Jake shouted, his anger rising.

"You're her partner! You're supposed to have her back! Instead you almost got her killed!" Elliot's fist shot out and connected with Jake's jaw before Jake or Fin could react.

Instead of retaliating, Jake stood up wiping the blood from his swollen lip. With sympathetic eyes, he stared at Elliot, whom Fin was now holding back.

"Shake it off, man! You know he wouldn't do nothin' to hurt Liv, Elliot. You know that!" Fin's scowl dared him to make another move.

Elliot was shaken by what he had just done. He knew he was out of line. He had no business being captain when he could not control himself. He ran his hands down his face and turned away from Fin and Jake. Taking several deep breaths he was able to get control of his emotions. He turned back to the men.

"I'm…sorry…I shouldn't have hit you, Jake…I…I just…I…know you wouldn't hurt her," he stammered his apology.

"No problem, Captain," Jake extended his hand.

Elliot took it and Jake pulled him into a quick hug, "I know how much you care for Liv…you gotta know I would never knowingly let anything happen to her."

Simply nodding, Elliot patted him on the back. His cell phone rang and he flipped it open.

"Stabler."

Pause.

"Uh-huh."

Pause.

"Yea…thanks."

Closing the phone he looked at Fin and Jake, "That was O'Halloran. The gun that killed Bevvins was Liv's…the missing one the first intruder took. That means it was Bevvins, not Delgado that attacked the two of you. "

Elliot shook his head and slumped into a nearby chair. He leaned over putting his head between his legs. "I never should have assumed it was Delgado without proof….I…never should have removed that detail...Liv would never have been attacked again. I can't believe I did this! I did this to her!" He now shifted the blame from Jake to himself.

"This ain't your fault. We all figured it was Delgado," Fin told him.

"It made sense and we all made the assumption. A mistake, yea. Your fault, no. It's Bevvins's fault…no one else's," Jake tried to assure him.

Benson Residence – Sunday, October 4 – 3:20 p.m.

The surgery had been textbook perfect and Olivia was healing quite well. Almost every day for the last week, he had tried to convince her to stay at his place. He was afraid she would have issues about being in her apartment after a man had died there. She had enough to deal with already, but she insisted she wanted to go home. Opening the new door, Elliot stood aside for Olivia to go in ahead of him. He put her small overnight bag on the kitchen counter and turned to watch her. He had spent several hours over the last week cleaning her apartment. He was not certain if she would be appreciative or feel that he had overstepped some boundary in taking it upon himself to tidy the place. It had been a wreck, before the latest invasion, but now everything was in place and sparkling clean. The carpet in the hall had been replaced; the holes in the sheetrock repaired, and no sign of the struggle remained.

She surveyed the room from top to bottom. Everything was in place. All her clothing and shoes had been picked up; the magazines were arranged on the coffee table; a single candle burned on the end table, its aroma filling the air. The piles of CDs and DVDs neatly lined the shelves of the entertainment center. Turning she saw that the kitchen was also in order and a bouquet of fresh flowers sat in the center of the small dining table.

"Elliot…you did this?" she smiled softly.

"Was that okay?" he asked, still unsure how she felt about this.

Letting out a short breath, she smiled, "Yes. Thank you. I know it was a mess, I just…I don't know…I just hadn't felt like doing anything around the place lately…and then…with…the…"

"I know. I know…you've been through a lot…but I…I just didn't want you to come back to it and feel like you had to do housecleaning. You need to use your energy to get well," he smiled.

She nodded, "And thank you for the beautiful flowers. It was very thoughtful. All of this was very thoughtful." She fingered one of the lilies in the vase.

"You're welcome. I'm going to put this in your room. Why don't you go sit down?"

"Okay."

Coming from her room, he went to the kitchen and put on a kettle for tea. Olivia sat on the couch and watched the flame of the candle. Cinnamon apple. It smelled wonderful. She heard Elliot in the kitchen and thought how lucky she was that she had him. That this man whom she loved so much also loved her. She was still smiling when he brought her a mug of tea.

"What are you smiling about?" he said teasingly.

Taking the tea, she said, "Thank you. Just thinking about this wonderful man that I know," she smirked.

"Oh, yea? Should I be jealous? he asked as he sat beside her.

She lifted her face to him and leaned up to kiss him, "No. You are the wonderful man. What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"I think that's my question. I'm the lucky one," he pulled her close, kissing the top of her head.

"El?"

"Hmmm."

"I love you…so much."

"And I love you," he ran his hand through her hair and lightly massaged her neck

They sat there for a long time, quiet, just being together. Finally, Elliot spoke again. "You never told me what happened."

She tensed and he felt it. "I gave Fin my statement. Didn't he tell you?"

"I want to hear from you. But if you're not ready, you don't have to do it now."

She nodded but was silent for a long time. Elliot had decided she was not going to talk about it. He felt like she needed to and that was his main reason for pushing her. Essentially, he knew what had happened, but he thought her telling him would help her face it, deal with it and put it in perspective.

"When you had to go help Maureen, I…I went to the market to pick up a few things. I got a sandwich on the way back. Jake called right when I got back. We talked a few minutes and then I went to watch TV while I ate. I'd taken one bite when I thought I heard something. I grabbed my glock and put the TV on mute," she told him.

"Glock? You had it with you?"

Nodding, she continued, "Ever since…" she wanted to say Sealview but that would just bring up something else she had not told him about. "Ever since everything that's happened…I get…you know about them…the nightmares…I always have gun nearby. So, I went toward the sound and then I heard another one and I thought it came from my bedroom. As I stepped into it, his arm went around my neck and he knocked my gun from my hand."

Though he knew she was afraid, he was not aware it was to this extent. "Where was he?"

"He uh…he must have been in the linen closet right by the bedroom door. I should have known…I should have checked there first…"

"Liv…it's okay…you did your best," he kissed her head again and tightened his arms around her.

"But he caught me off guard…I…" she sighed heavily. "Then he told me I should have let Jake come over because he wanted to see him again. I asked what he wanted and he said for Jake to suffer like he had. That's when I realized who he was."

"What do you mean? How would you have known?"

"Jake told me about him…I knew it had to be him. I knew he was going to kill me like he had Anna."

Elliot waited his mind thinking about what Jake had gone through losing his partner, the woman he loved. Then he thought about how he had almost lost Olivia. He could not imagine his life without her.

"I kept him talking about his…his wife. Jake buzzed the apartment. Bevvins made me answer it, but I told Jake to get out of here and then Bevvins shoved me across the living room and toward the bedroom. I knew he was going to kill me. Jake knocked on the door and it caught Bevvins' attention just long enough for me to turn around and try to get the gun from him. It went off and we struggled and he was too strong and then the gun went off two more times and he fell on top of me. I…I…couldn't get him off of me…I…I felt his…" a muffled sob broke from her.

"Oh, baby, I wish I had been there to protect you," Elliot whispered, stroking her head and shoulders.

She continued, "I could feel…his blood streaming over me…it was wet and warm and sticky and I thought I would throw up but I could barely breathe and I thought…I thought I was going to die right there. Right there with him on top of me. And El…I wanted you so bad. And I kept thinking I couldn't die because you would be mad and I didn't want you to be mad at me," she turned to him now and buried her face in his chest as the sobs shook them both.

"Shh…shh…you're okay. You're safe, Liv. You're here with me and you are safe," he soothed and rocked her in his arms.

Now that he knew the details, he realized they would most likely keep him up nights and bring nightmares to him as well. He had come so close to losing this woman. The love of his life.

SVU Squad Room – Monday, October 20 – 8:15 a.m.

Three weeks later, it is Olivia first day back at work. She is sitting at her desk surrounded by the rest of the SVU, listening to Captain Cragen give a briefing on the latest case. It's also Cragen's first day back since his heart surgery.

"Okay, people. You know your assignments, so get a move on," Cragen did his best to be gruff, but it was obvious he was in a great mood, happy to be back.

Elliot grinned at Olivia across their desks. Well, actually, his desk was still Jake's. He had not had time to make it his again. He and Jake were partnered for now and a rookie had been brought in for Fin until Olivia was back up to speed. Munch was planning on retiring at the end of the year and would work the field when needed but mainly he would do research from the computer aspect until then.

"It's great to have you back," he leaned his elbows on the desk.

Smiling at him, "If you only knew how great it feels to be back."

"Even if you're ridin' a desk for a few weeks?" Fin asked.

"Yes…at least I'm working," she nodded her head.

"Well, I can't wait until you're back in the field with me, partner," Jake punched her playfully in the shoulder.

"Ow! Didn't your parents tell you it's not nice to hit a girl?" she whined and hoped this took the meaning of his comment off focus.

"Girl? You are a detective, Benson, not a girl!" Jake punched her again.

They all laughed as Cragen told them, "Okay, enough. You've got work to do and Liv has a pile of paperwork waiting for her."

Fin and his new partner headed out and Cragen went to his office.

Jake looked at Elliot, "You ready to hit the streets?"

The frown on Elliot's face puzzled Jake, but Olivia knew why it was there. He tossed the sedan keys to Jake, "Bring the car around. I'll be there in a couple of minutes."

His eyes met Olivia's and she looked away in the pretense of looking for a file on the computer.

When Jake was gone, Elliot stood up and came around to her desk sitting on the edge of it, his eyes burning into the back of her head. She could feel them on her as she tensed. She knew what his next question was going to be and she was not quite ready to answer it. She had wanted another week or two.

"What'd he mean?" he asked quietly.

"What did who mean?" she asked without turning to look at him.

"You know what I'm talking about, Liv. What did Jake mean by 'he couldn't wait until your were back in the field with him'?

"Oh…I guess he just wants me back in the field 'cause that will mean I'm well," she answered over her shoulder.

"Turn around and look at me," he put his hand on her shoulder.

"Elliot," she whispered. She did not want to do this now. Not on her first day back.

"Benson! Stabler! My office. Now!" Cragen called out from the doorway.

The both glanced at him and Elliot mumbled, "What could we have done to be in trouble already?"

Olivia shrugged, stood up and they made their way to the office. Cragen closed the door behind them, nodding at the chairs. He had heard what Jake said and he knew Elliot would badger Olivia until she told him. Cragen figured the news would be best coming from him.

"Well, this is just like old times," he looked at his two detectives, a smirk on his face.

"Yea…old times when we were getting chewed out for something," Elliot crossed his arms over his chest. "What'd we do?"

Olivia smiled as did Cragen. He looked over at her and she nodded her affirmation. "For once, you're not in trouble…at least not with me."

Elliot frowned and his eyes shifted to Olivia who was sitting straight and staring at the floor as her right knee bounced up and down furiously. He knew she was nervous, but had no clue why.

"I teamed you with Zoumberis, but that is only temporary," Cragen said from the corner of his desk where he sat to be closer to the two.

"I know that. When Liv is better, I'll get my partner back," Elliot nodded, smiling at Olivia.

"You didn't let me finish," Cragen responded. "When she is ready for the field again, Olivia and Jake will remain partners and you will…"

"What!?" Elliot was out of his chair, instantly defensive. "No! She's my partner. We've been together for ten years! Captain, you can't…"

"Elliot!" Standing, Olivia put a hand on his arm to settle him.

"It was my idea, El. I asked him to keep me with Jake," she spoke softly, her eyes finally meeting his.

Elliot opened his mouth but it was several seconds before he could form words, "W-why? I thought…I mean…you and I are getting along so well, Liv…I want you by my side…why don't you want to partner with me?"

"That's just it…you are getting along very well…maybe too well. Your relationship has changed and you know you can't continue to be partners," Cragen explained.

"How did you…" Elliot looked at Cragen in disbelief.

"I told him. It's not like we've exactly tried to hide it, El."

"But, I don't want another partner. I want you," his voice was tight and full of emotion.

Olivia's hands went around his arms and slid down to his hands, linking their fingers together. Elliot suddenly seemed uncomfortable, glancing at Captain Cragen and then back to Olivia. He swallowed hard and it echoed in the room.

"And I want you. I want you to be my partner in life, but we can't have both, Elliot. And as much as I want you beside me in the field more than anything I want you beside every night and all the time we are not working. I don't ever want to be without you. I was going to wait a week or two, but now is as good a time as any," she raised his right hand and kissed his knuckles.

"Liv," his voice cracked.

"Elliot, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, beside you. I want us to share the good times and the bad times. I want to laugh with you and fight with you and make up with you and know you will always be there for me, with me. El…will you…will you marry me?" her eyes shimmered with tears and the love she had for him.

Everything around them faded away and it was just he and Olivia. Slowly he pulled their linked hands up between them and kissed each of hers before releasing them and framing her face with his hands. A lone tear fell from his left eye as he stared into her big brown eyes and she knew his answer before he ever uttered a word. His lips slowly met hers and the kiss he gave her was so gentle, so tender, her heart felt like it would burst with bliss and contentment.

When he finally pulled away from her, his eyes were dancing with love, his voice breaking with tears, "Yes! I will marry you, Liv. I love you more than I could ever tell you!"

"I love you, too, El," she kissed him this time as their arms wrapped around the other.

After several minutes, Cragen cleared his throat. "Elliot, I assume this means you are okay with the partner change," he cracked.

Olivia and Elliot, now somewhat embarrassed, pulled apart, laughing. "Definitely, Sir!" Elliot smiled.

"Well, it's about time you two came to your senses," Donald Cragen grinned at his detectives.

As Elliot and Olivia fell into each other's arms and began to kiss again, Cragen shook his head, closed all the blinds in his office and stepped out, closing the door behind him. He never was comfortable with such displays of affection, with such private matters of the heart. As he went to get coffee, the grin on his face felt like it might become a permanent fixture. He thought of the odd connection these two had from the beginning. From the day he introduced them, he sensed they were meant to be together, someway, somehow. It was no coincidence. Fate – that's what it was. The grin grew wider as he realized this was a new chapter in the SVU as well as in the lives of Benson and Stabler.

~ ~ ~ eoeoeoeoeo ~ ~ ~