I'm a mega SpongeBob fan. Also a fan of the SpongeBob/Squidward pairing.

I know most people think heterosexual love on SpongeBob is lame so the same probably goes for homosexual love. Of course, most people are closed-minded, so they'd actually probably consider it worse.

But I'm gay, so obviously homosexual pairings mean more to me than heterosexual pairings do. I mean, heterosexuals like Sandy/SpongeBob because the fans themselves are heterosexual. I like SpongeBob/Squidward because I'm homosexual. I can't relate to either member of a heterosexual pairing as much as I can to a homosexual pairing. Be open-minded, don't leave bad reviews because you're homophobic.

As for the fans of SpongeBob/Squidward: Enjoy.

--

Chapter 1

One day in the beautiful city of Bikini Bottom, Patrick and SpongeBob sat in front of the pineapple blowing bubbles. It was morning and the sun was shining brightly on them as SpongeBob tried teaching Patrick his bubble blowing skills.

" Just shut your eyes and imagine a snail... imagine every detail, from the bulging eyes to the slimy bottom..." SpongeBob said, peacefully. He dipped his bubble wand into the bottle of soap and then brought it to his lips, his eyes shut.

" Repeat after me..." SpongeBob said before slowly blowing into the hole of the bubble wand. Patrick watched as a snail formed and was lifted into the air by a gust of wind.

" Oooh... My turn!" Patrick yelped, grabbing SpongeBob's bubble wand. He tried sticking it into his own bottle but realised it was closed. He tried to get the wand into the bottle by slamming it against the cover repeatedly. SpongeBob watched with a smile on his face wondering if Patrick was going to figure out how to open the bottle.

After a few minutes, Patrick finally gave up and handed his bottle of soap to SpongeBob.

" SpongeBob, can you open this!?" he yelled, his eyes sad. He wished he could do it by himself without SpongeBob's help but he couldn't, sometimes. It was a good thing SpongeBob was there to help him in his time of need.

" Daha!" SpongeBob laughed, taking the bottle from Patick, " Sure, buddy!". SpongeBob simply twisted the cap and the bottle was opened. Patrick yelped with joy and quickly grabbed the bottle from SpongeBob, accidentally spilling some onto the sand.

Now with his own wand, Patrick blew hard into the hole of the wand. What came out was not a snail but instead a blob that floated above their heads.

" Um, Patrick, maybe we should try that one again..." SpongeBob said, looking up at the blob.

" It only looks like that because it's a baby," Patrick explained. SpongeBob thought.

That makes no sense, baby snails don't look like blobs! Or maybe he just means it's still in the mother snail's belly... Oh, now it all makes sense! Patrick made a snail embryo!

" Oh, I see it, now! Great job, buddy! Dahahaha! Now, let's make a--!" SpongeBob was cut off by a loud voice from above.

" Could you please be quiet? I'm trying to sleep!" Squidward yelled from the left window.

SpongeBob looked up and smiled as Squidward shook his fist.

" I'm sorry, Squidward! We're just blowing some bubbles and Patrick--" SpongeBob began.

" I don't care! Just keep your voices down so I can get some rest!" Squidward yelled before shutting the window. SpongeBob waved.

" Poor Squidward! He needs his sleep! The more he sleeps, the more beautiful he is! Come on, we can do something inside..." SpongeBob said, closing his bottle of bubbles.

" Um... yes," Patrick said, standing up and accidentally knocking over his bottle of bubbles. He frowned as he watched the liquid grow larger and larger but then brightened up once SpongeBob put his arm around his shoulders.

Suddenly, just as SpongeBob and Patrick were about to open the door the the pineapple, both heard a loud noise.

" Howdy, SpongeBob!"

SpongeBob quickly turned around after hearing the high-pitched voice. He always feared that Sandy might sneak up on him and karate chop him in half. When he realised she was not wearing any gear, he relaxed and released Patrick then walked over to his female friend.

" Hey, Sandy! What are you doing here?" SpongeBob asked, politely, with a smile on his face.

" I was just wondering if you'd like to come to the karate exhibition with me! I heard there's one takin' place over there!" Sandy pointed down the road and SpongeBob looked where she was pointing and saw nothing.

" I don't see anything," SpongeBob said scratching the top of his head.

" Well, of course you don't, it's too far for your eyes to see! Now, come on, let's go! It's gonna be great! We'll get to meet Master Shing!" Sandy babbled, grabbing ahold of SpongeBob's arm and tugging him toward herself. SpongeBob gasped.

" Master Shing!?" he repeated, his eyes lighting up. He jumped up and down and squeezed his fists.

" Oh, this'll be great! I can show him all of my greatest karate moves!" SpongeBob said before showing off how good he was at karate.

" Hahaha! No offense, SpongeBob, but you ain't the greatest at karate! Now, if I showed him what I could do, he'd be runnin' away faster than you could say 'rodeo'!" Sandy said, putting her hands on her hips. SpongeBob frowned.

" Yeah, yeah, yeah... you go ahead and do that. Master Shing will tell us who the real Master of Karate is!" SpongeBob said.

" It's gonna be me!" Sandy challenged. SpongeBob grinned then turned back to his best friend.

" Hey, we can pick up where we left off once I get back, okay? See you later!" SpongeBob yelled to Patrick before running off with Sandy in the other direction. Patrick waved and smiled.

" Bye, SpongeBob!"

--

At the exhibition, Sandy and SpongeBob waited in line. They were going to have the new gear they bought signed by the greatest Karate Master of all time! SpongeBob couldn't control himself; he was hopping and twisting and laughing. Sandy chuckled at SpongeBob's silly attitude and then put her hand on his back.

" You ought'a calm down there, little dude. You don't wanna be out of energy once you meet the master! You gotta show him your, uh... 'great' karate skills," Sandy said. SpongeBob stopped fidgetting and instead stood still as a statue, until they moved forward an inch.

Two hours later, they finally were standing just two feet in front of the Master Shing. SpongeBob gasped and held out one of his new karate gloves. Master Shing wrote his name on it as if he were performing a karate move and when the glove was handed back to SpongeBob, he yelped and hugged it.

Sandy smiled and chuckled as SpongeBob sat on the floor staring at the glove.

" Next!" said the master, which brought Sandy out of her reverie.

Sandy smiled and held out her hand as she stepped in front of Master Shing.

" Hey! I've been followin' your work for quite some time! I was wondering if you'd like to see what I can do!" Sandy asked, pressing her thumb to her chest. Master Shing sighed.

" Huh? You are a squirrel! You could never perform any karate move properly!" Master Shing said, shooing Sandy away. Sandy gasped and stepped back.

" What did you say?! Just because I'm a squirrel doesn't mean I can't do no karate! HIIIYYYAAA!!"

Sandy chopped the desk Master Shing was autographing papers on in half. Master Shing yawned and put his feet on top of the pile of wood, trying to appear unmoved.

" Look... I don't know how to say this, but hey... you stink. I bet this piece of paper is better at karate than you!" Master Shing said, pointing to SpongeBob who was now standing beside Sandy. SpongeBob gasped and pointed his finger at Master Shing.

" Wait just a second! Sandy can do anything I can do! She can probably do more!" SpongeBob said, standing in front of Sandy with his hands on his hips.

" Doubt it. Now get out of the line! I must authograph," the master said, seeming to have lost interest in the two as he called out for a new table. It was brought to him immediately.

" You can't--!!" SpongeBob began, but Sandy took him by the arm.

" C'mon, SpongeBob, let's just go... you shouldn't waste your breath," Sandy said, looking down at her feet. SpongeBob wanted to teach that guy a lesson but he listened to Sandy and followed her out of the building.

Sandy was quiet as they walked towards the treedome. SpongeBob sighed and put his hand under his chin. He wanted to make Sandy feel better and the only thing that made her happy was either Texas or karate. It didn't seem like the time to bring up Texas, SpongeBob thought that might just make her even more upset... and he obviously couldn't bring up karate, so he thought maybe she'd like to go on some horrific and terrifying adventure. Or maybe she would have liked to play something violent such as hockey or wrestling.

" Um... wanna go surfing?" SpongeBob asked, hoping she'd like to surf rather than risk their lives.

Sandy turned to SpongeBob and smiled. She loved when he'd try cheering her up when she felt low, it made her feel all warm inside. She put her arm on his shoulder.

" I'd like that, SpongeBob! I'll go get my board!" Sandy said before running into her treedome. SpongeBob watched her until she was out of view, then he grinned.

" Well, seems like you did it, again, SpongeBob! You did it, again!" SpongeBob said, referring to how he could always make Sandy happy when she was upset.

Sandy came back out, quickly, with her board held above her head.

" Woohoo! Let's go, SpongeBob!" Sandy said before running off.

" Wait, I need to get my board!" SpongeBob yelled. Sandy grabbed SpongeBob by the arm and pulled him as she ran.

" We can share my board, just come on!" she said. SpongeBob freed himself from her grip and ran on his own, smiling and laughing as he thought about how much fun they were going to have.

Once at the beach, they surfed and surfed, doing all different types of tricks. Sandy could balance herself on her tail as she surfed and SpongeBob could balance on his tongue while he surfed. They continued to compete until both were tired. They picked a spot on the beach and sat down, watching the setting sun hit the top of the Goo Lagoon's waves.

" I totally beat you, out there! I get 5,000 points because my tricks were way better than yours!" Sandy complained.

" No, no! I did great tricks! Balancing on my tongue! Jumping over the waves! I even surfed with my butt! I get the 5,000 points!" SpongeBob argued.

" No, I do! I balanced on my tail. My tail! Do you know how difficult that is?!" Sandy yelled, holding her palms up. SpongeBob crossed his arms over his chest.

" Yeah, well... Well... How about we both win the 5,000 points?" SpongeBob asked. Sandy stroked the bottom of her glass bubble, thinking. She then held her hand out to SpongeBob.

" Deal," she said. SpongeBob shook her hand then smiled.

" You know, apart from all the arguing and that rude guy at the exhibition, this is actually a great day!" SpongeBob exclaimed, laying down on the sand with his arms under his neck. Sandy laid down, as well.

" Yeah, it is..." Sandy said, happily.

For a while the two watched the sky. The sun was setting lower behind the hills and it was getting pleasantly cool. SpongeBob sighed and watched the clouds go by, thinking one looked an awful lot like Squidward playing his clarinet. He sighed and a smile formed on his face.

Sandy wasn't thinking about the clouds. She couldn't stop thinking about how great SpongeBob made her feel and how happy she was that they met that day so long ago. More and more lately she'd catch herself thinking up scenarios of where their first kiss would be and which place they'd first go on a date. She'd even think about getting SpongeBob to take off his helmet so the two could kiss while in her bedroom.

It wouldn't be so bad if I told SpongeBob how I feel about him. I'm pretty sure he feels the same way! He always sticks up for me, listens to me, treats me nicely... If I told him, he'd be glad, not mad! We'd be able to take our relationship to the next level! We could do all that stuff that girlfriends and boyfriends do... which isn't very different from what we do, now!

Sandy swallowed and nervously itched her neck. She looked over to SpongeBob and realised his eyes were shut. She swallowed again and sweat began sliding down her face. She even began making odd noises, which caused SpongeBob to open his eyes and look over at Sandy.

" Hey, uh, you okay there, Sandy?" SpongeBob asked, now sitting. Sandy took her arms out of the air bubble and put them where they belonged. She then stroked the top of the glass, next to the flower.

" Well, SpongeBob... I guess I'm alright. It's just... well... I've been thinking lately..." Sandy began, nervously. SpongeBob blinked.

" About what?" he asked.

I can do this! It's now or never, Sandy! she told herself.

" Well... you know, today, at the exhibition when you stuck up for me? Why'd you do that?" she asked, not willing to make what she was wondering that obvious.

SpongeBob lifted a brow.

" You're my friend, Sandy! That karate guy was a jerk! You don't deserve to be treated like that..." SpongeBob said, his eyes sad.

" See, like... what you just said... the things you say, sometimes, makes me think that... we're more than friends. Or could be... you know," Sandy swallowed, finding her throat very dry and her face very hot. SpongeBob blinked rapidly.

" I'm sorry, Sandy, but Patrick is my best friend... nobody can take his place," SpongeBob said, looking away from Sandy. He thought Sandy knew that nobody could ever replace Patrick as SpongeBob's best friend.

" I don't mean as your best friend, SpongeBob. I mean as something more... as in, you're... you're g-girl... friend..." Sandy whispered, fear taking over. She shivered and hugged herself as she waited for SpongeBob's reaction, hoping it wasn't rejection.

" Well, of course you're my girlfriend," SpongeBob simply stated. Sandy jerked.

" Huh?! Since when?!" Sandy yelled, confused. SpongeBob fidgeted.

" Well... since I met you," SpongeBob said. Sandy rubbed the back of her neck.

This is too good to be true. I'm sure he's misunderstanding...

" Do you have any other girlfriends, SpongeBob?" Sandy asked.

" Um... there's you, Pearl... um... would Mrs. Puff count?... I don't think so, she's more of a teacher than a friend..." SpongeBob babbled as Sandy sighed and held her head down low.

" Then there's that lady I met at the store... but she was just an acquaintance..." SpongeBob then looked to Sandy, who was frowning and seemed even more upset than before.

" Are you okay, Sandy?" SpongeBob asked, putting his hand on her shoulder.

" I need you to listen carefully, SpongeBob... pay extra close attention..." Sandy said, looking into SpongeBob's eyes. SpongeBob shook his head up and down.

" I don't mean a girlfriend as in your friend that's a girl. I mean... would you like to date me? When you date somebody, you take them out to dinner and spend the day with them... and kiss them and all that. Do you understand?" Sandy tried explaining. SpongeBob's eyes were as big as giant clams.

" Um, Sandy, I don't think that'd really... work out..." SpongeBob said, quietly. He was looking in the other direction and playing with a small pile of sand beside him.

Sandy frowned.

" Well, why not?" Sandy asked. She could see nothing wrong in them dating. She thought it would be absolute paradise being able to belong to SpongeBob.

SpongeBob was quiet for a long time.

" We could never kiss, one of us always has to wear a helmet, that's why," SpongeBob said swallowing and still not looking at Sandy.

" Well... you could come into my dome and I could spray you with water from the hose every other minute. That'd be enough, wouldn't it? We could kiss, then..." Sandy said. SpongeBob rubbed the back of his hand against his forehead.

" But... I... I'm too short," SpongeBob said.

" Oh, you're not all that short! You're just perfect!" Sandy said, scooting closer to SpongeBob. She hugged him and he gasped and flinched. He tried catching his breath.

" But I--! You--! We just--! Our teeth would just bash together! We both have buckteeth, it just won't work out, Sandy! I'm sorry!" SpongeBob yelled, jumping up from where he was sitting and running off in the other direction. Sandy watched in shock as SpongeBob disappeared.

How come he doesn't want to date me? Am I ugly? Too fat? Am I too energetic for him to keep up with?

Maybe there's someone else! What if he's dating Pearl? Or some other sea creature that I don't know about?

I need to find out why he doesn't want to date me! Once I find out, I'll fix that problem and then we can be together! We're perfect for eachother, I just gotta get him to see that!

--

SpongeBob continued running home, his mind so impaired that he ran into Patrick, who was still standing in the same spot SpongeBob had left him in.

He must have been waiting all this time!

" I'm sorry, Patrick, I was out longer than I thought I'd be," SpongeBob said once he got up from the ground, brushing off his knees. Patrick patted SpongeBob's back.

" It's okay, buddy! We can just go inside and watch tv! Then make some hot chocolate! And get some--!" SpongeBob cut Patrick off before he got his hopes too high up.

" I'm sorry, Patrick, but I'm just not in the mood. I'm going to bed..." SpongeBob said, walking over to his door. He pulled a key out from under the mat and then opened his door, going inside his dark house. Patrick blinked and watched SpongeBob unhappily shut the door behind him.

Inside, SpongeBob walked over to his chair and sat down. He had no idea what he was going to do. He didn't want to lose Sandy but he didn't want to date her either. But he feared that if he didn't, he'd lose one of his most precious friends.

" What to do, what to do..." SpongeBob said out loud as Gary came crawling into the living room.

" Meow?" Gary asked, now at SpongeBob's feet. SpongeBob pet Gary's shell.

" I don't know what to do. Sandy told me she likes me and she wants us to be together. But I don't wanna date Sandy! And I'm afraid that if I don't, she won't ever wanna see me again..." SpongeBob told his pet. Gary blinked then meowed a few times.

" You think I should tell her...?" SpongeBob asked. Gary meowed, again.

" But I don't want her to hate me! She'd never look at me the same way!" SpongeBob complained, holding his head in his hands. Gary meowed.

" You're right... I could lose her if I don't tell her. I just gotta take the risk... hopefully we'll be able to stay friends. I really don't want to lose her, Gary..." SpongeBob said. He sighed and got off the chair. There was always one thing that could make him happy when he was in the worst of moods.

SpongeBob looked out his window and up above he could see Squidward stretching and putting on his purple pajama hat. SpongeBob blinked and sighed, then headed off to bed.

--

This first chapter is more based around Sandy and SpongeBob than SpongeBob/Squidward, but don't worry. In future chapters more attention will be put on SpongeBob and Squidward.

It's hard to make a cartoon series dramatic, so it probably seemed a bit lame... but hopefully it'll still be amusing, anyway. I based what's going on between SpongeBob and Sandy on me and an old friend of mine.

If you want to share advice or you merely want to comment, go ahead.