This is my first SMT fic so I hope I got the character personalities right. I still haven't quite beaten Nocturne, but I do know about Chiaki killing several Manikins and such. I pretty much had the entire story told to me when I looked it up on Wikipedia before I managed to get a copy.

Anyway, this is just a one-shot in Chiaki's point of view as she confronts Naoki about what happened in the Vortex world, or whatever it was called, and wonders why she can't truly hate him. And it takes place after the good ending so everyone's alive. Tell me how I did in your reviews and give me your honest opinions so I can get better with the other SMT fic I have in mind.

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters in this story. Hell, even my OC's don't make an appearance.

Why can't I hate you?

I sit here in my house, in my room, on top of my bed, with the one person I despise more than anything, Naoki Kashima, a.k.a. the Demi-Fiend. He has his head staring at the floor, lost in his own thoughts. I no longer see the tattoos or spike on his skin. Then again, he would have to take off his jacket for that. And as long as I'm around, I'll be damned if he does. The reason he was like this was because of me actually…

It all started a couple of hours ago, after seeing Ms. Takao in the hospital. We all went our separate ways to our respective homes. I decided to walk through the alley and I get jumped by some thief. He holds me against the wall and threatens me, all the while groping me, rubbing and squeezing my breasts. No one had ever even tried to defile me, not even in the Vortex World. Needless to say, it wasn't pleasant. It was just sick and wrong. I tried to scream, but it was useless. So I fought back, only to be knocked to the ground. I got up, rubbing the bruise that was on my head, only to see him holding up his knife, ready to kill me. I tried to run, but once again, proved useless as my ankle was hurt, making me unable to move.

And just when I thought I was going to die, just when I nearly lost hope, that's when he showed up…Naoki.

He stood there, his face scowling in anger. I hadn't seen that face in such a long time. My "knight and shining armor" cursed off the thief, only to receive a small cut across his jacket. He retaliated with a powerful right hook the man's jaw, making him fall back a little and he dropped his knife.

That's when those memories came back, the ones about the Vortex World. Not only that, but my combat instincts as well. I drag my body to the knife, grabbed it, and stabbed the thief in the back of his leg. He screamed, but he silenced by one final punch by Naoki.

He looked down at my slightly injured body; the expression on his face looked concerned for me. It reminded me of the time I left him with his new demon friends when we first reunited. The only reason I didn't join him was because, as much as I don't want to admit it, I was afraid.

Over the years we have spent together, all the way back to grade school, he had never given me a reason to fear him. He was always so nice to me, despite my needs and demands. I could tell him to get me something, and he did it for me with obedience. He was kind of like that dog Hachiko in Shibuya, always loyal till the end.

But he wasn't always loyal.

It all stopped the day he betrayed me in the Vortex World. I'll admit it did hurt, but I was so obsessed with creating my ideal world that I hardly showed any emotion whatsoever, other than bitterness.

Naoki kneels down and picks me up, bridal style, my head resting against his coat-covered chest. I blush for a strange reason. Then again, I never had anyone carry me like this, not even my own family. I yell and complain to him that I'm feeling just fine. That doesn't work because he lightly taps my hurt ankle, making me cringe in pain.

He takes me to my house and we enter. This wasn't the first time I've let him in. Actually, out of everyone in school, he's the only one to ever enter my house. That's because I trust him, at least I used to. The only reason I let him in is because of my hurt ankle. If it wasn't for that, I'd toss his demon-loving butt out the door.

I'm taken to my room, where he lays me down gently. His touch still lingers when he lets go. For some odd reason, I miss it. That thought is swiftly terminated from my mind. I'm supposed to hate Naoki, not wishing he was still here.

He comes back with a med kit. After he's done, he smiles and says, "There. Just don't run in dark alleys anymore. Haven't you seen what happens to the pretty girls in those movies?"

I turn my head away from him. But did he just call me pretty? I don't need him telling me I am. I already got several other handsome, and stupid, guys telling me that I'm pretty.

Then why the hell do I blush!?

My anger returns in full fury. I slap him across the face rather harshly, leaving a large visible red mark across his cheek. He looks at me with a face containing both confusion and hurt.

"What was that for?" he asks, rubbing his sore cheek. "If that's how you treat people when their nice to you, I sure hate to see you act when they piss you off."

"You already saw that yourself, Naoki." I say in a low tone. Just low enough for him to hear me.

His wide-eyed face is priceless. Now he's frightened. "You remember everything?"

"Yes." I give him the coldest glare I could muster. "I remember the pain and torment I went through in that world. I remember the stupid dolls I murdered with my own two hands, I remember that smartass devil slayer who dared to get into my way, I remember when Gozu-Tennoh gave me his power, but most of all…" I stare deep into his fearful eyes. "I remember how you killed me. And for what? Just to be some savior or some bullshit!? Did you honestly expect some kind of happy ending!?"

And that brings me to the current situation that we are in now. He's been like that for a couple of minutes. That's the only reason he's stopped talking. The silence was beginning to bug me. At least now I know why he didn't choose Hikawa's Reason. I finally decided to end this, seeing as how I don't want to see that face of his now. I'd rather not do something I may regret in the future.

"Just leave."

He picks his head up and shakes it, refusing to go. This is starting to really irritate me.

"I said leave. I won't ask you a third time."

I hold the knife I stole from that thief against his throat. To my surprise, he doesn't flinch. Why doesn't he show any fear? I could kill him at any moment and all he does is look at me with that sad face of his.

"No."

My eyes widen at his answer. But I have to stay true to my word. So I try to move the knife quickly across his throat, instantly killing him. I may ruin my favorite outfit, but it'll be worth it once I kill him. Then I realize something, I can't move it. I can't move this stupid fucking knife across this bastard's throat. Why!? God, if there is any, fucking damn it! I killed demons and stupid flinching dolls yet I can't kill one measly human!?

"Why?" I force myself to look at the sheets on my bed, not able to look him straight in the eye. I also notice that a tear sliding down my face. "Why can't I do it?" My voice sounds dry and broken. "Why can't I just get revenge and kill you?"

I feel a hand on my shoulder. I already knew who it was so I ignore it. It sickens me to think that I'm being comforted by him. Out of all the times in the world, why did he have to see me like this now?

"Because you're not who you think you are."

What the hell does he mean by that? I know exactly who I am. I was the future ruler of my new world where the strong would survive. I could be safe, I could be free, but instead I'm in a foul world where I could have thieves and rapists attack me. Those piles of scum aren't worth a second of my time.

"Right now, I bet, no, I know you're thinking about your ideal world."

What the hell is he? A mind reader all of sudden!? Then again, he was a demon so maybe he could read minds. I let him continue, still not looking at him. But the knife is still held against his throat.

"Now there's a part of you that wants it. And then there's the old you, the one who would always boss me and Isamu around, the one who actually liked hanging around the both of us, the one who I…."

Looking up at Naoki, I notice a faint blush on his face. He wasn't going to say what I think he was, was he? I feel my cheeks burning as well. Why am I blushing as well!? I should be killing him, not acting like a little school girl with a crush.

"Umm…" I see him gulp nervously; that's a first. It'd be more amusing if we weren't in this situation. "Never mind that part. Anyway, don't you see that the so called peaceful world of the Yosuga would be filled with chaos?"

"Excuse me?" I hold the knife closer. Once again, he doesn't flinch. "What the hell do you mean? If I was the strongest in that world, then I would be able to handle it."

He shakes his head sadly. "No, you wouldn't. That world…would be nothing but eternal pain and torment for you."

I open my mouth to say something, but he stops me. His face had hardened. That was the same face he used right before our fight.

"And don't say that you can handle it! Can you really live like that?"

I shake my head, the tears getting mixed in with my hair. Then I hear myself yelling at him. "You just don't get it. You don't understand pain!"

Suddenly, he knocks the knife away from me and pins me on the bed, knocking the knife to the floor. I felt as if all the breath in my system had just left me. I tried to fight back, but he had his leg on my ankle. I gritted my teeth as I saw the fire raging in his eyes. Our heads were so close together that I could feel his hot breath on my skin.

"I don't understand pain?" he repeated. "Last time I checked, that whole trip in that fucking world was nothing but pain!"

Needless to say, I'm rather surprised by his behavior. He had never sworn at me or anyone else for that matter.

"When I found out I was a demon, I felt pain, even during the process. When I saw that you guys chose your own paths to follow and leave me in the dust, I was in pain. And when I was forced to kill the both of you…"

I felt a warm tear on my cheek. Was he…crying? This was definitely the first time I've seen it, and I've been with him since grade school. I never even knew he was capable of…no. I will not allow myself to be fooled by his actions.

"I…I almost couldn't do it. The pain almost took over me. The only reason I did it was because…" He sighed. "It was because I thought I could bring both of you back, both of the real you."

"Naoki…" I stop my struggle as I heard his little sob story. I chuckle dryly at him. "And so you thought you could get your little happy ending, right?"

"Wrong."

Huh? Wasn't that what he wanted? Now I'm starting to get confused. Great, what's next? Isamu actually topping my scores in the class? Tch. Only when hell freezes over and the devil really does wear Prada.

He faintly smiles at me. "All I wanted was for both of you to realize your own stupidity. I just wanted my friends back. Instead, I find that the demons I recruited and a smartass devil slayer were the only ones I had left."

"Then why don't you go to them?" I spit out bitterly. "I'm sure some Succubus or Lilith would be happy to mate with you!"

"Because I don't want to leave you to deal with the pain."

I raise an eyebrow. "What pain? The only pain I'm feeling is your foot on my ankle!"

Suddenly, he lowers his face to mine. My heart begins to rapidly beat faster and faster. My face feels like it's on fire. Why the hell am I like this!?

To my surprise, he just puts his lips against my ear and whispers, "The pain of loneliness."

I quickly push him off of me and go for the knife. He stands up just in time for me to hold it against his throat. I still can't find the strength to kill him though. Damn you, Naoki! Why can't I hate you? Why can't I just end it?

Then, as if there really is a God, everything comes roaring back to me, the memories of us. I mentally smile as I see us getting along so well in grade school. He would always help get me away from the bad kids who always liked to tease me before I became rich. The next thing I know, I remember a promise he made to me during the one time he went to the hospital after saving me from the incoming car in sixth grade…

"Chiaki?"

I pick my head up off the bed. I must've dozed off waiting for him to wake up. I look at his smiling face. I give him an annoyed look as usual.

"Why did you do it? You could have gotten killed."

He chuckles, but clutches his ribs. Apparently he can't laugh without getting hurt. I'll have to avoid fighting with Isamu then.

"It would have been lonely without you bossing me around."

"But…" I look away from him. I know the words I want to say, but my pride prevents me. "Just promise me that you won't ever do that again."

He shakes his head. "Sorry. But I can make another promise."

I frown at that, but I keep paying attention. "Yeah?"

"How about…I promise not to let you get hurt? Okay."

I smile widely at that. "Sure, but as long as you don't get hurt either." I hold my hand up, my pinky is extended. "Promise?"

He connects his pinky with mine, smiling as always. "Promise!"

The knife slowly drops to my side, unable to strike him. I…I can't believe that I… All this time I didn't see it before. He was being loyal, to the old me. Good God, I've become a…demon, the worst demon of all time. I let myself be corrupted by that power. I thought I was strong, but in reality…

I'm nothing but a weakling. And it was because of that weakness that I nearly lost everything. I truly let my pride get the better of me, in the worst possible way as well.

I let the tears fall down my face again. Naoki wraps his arms around me. He strokes my back gently and just tells me to let it all out, so I do. We sat there for several hours, me crying out everything else I had left in me while he held me. In his arms, I felt…safe. I realize whenever he's around, I am safe.

I wonder what would have happened if I did join him the first time we met in the Vortex World. Maybe I wouldn't have turned out like this. But it's too late to know now.

I lift my head up and stare into his eyes, he does the same thing. He moves his head closer to mine, both of our lips were only inches apart now.

"I will keep my promise, Chiaki."

The next thing I know, we both press our lips against each other. Never in a million years did I expect such a thing to happen between us, even before the Vortex World. The kiss didn't last long since it was light, but it did make me feel better. Naoki on the other hand seemed to have gotten so nervous all of a sudden.

Sigh. He never was really good with women, him and Isamu that is.

"S-sorry about tha…--"

I don't let him finish as I kiss him again. As soon as I let go, he smiles back at me.

"So…Are we together then?"

I shrug, all the while blushing. "I…I don't know. If you want…"

He mockingly sighs. "Great. Now I'm going to be your slave again, right?"

I playfully punch him in the arm while chuckling. "Just shut up and get me something to drink."

He gets up, not before kissing me again. This time however, it was far more passionate than the last one. I wrap my arms around his neck while he wraps his around my waist, deepening the kiss. I felt so good, but we had to break due to air. Naoki blushes again before running off to get me my drink.

I guess now I know why I can't hate you. It's because I love you…

Even if you are an idiot sometimes. Love really is strange and this whole day is really hurting my head. Ugh, I think I'll take a nap later. A thought comes across my mind, but I quickly shake it away. There's no way I'm doing THAT with him.

Not yet anyway.

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And that's it! Tell me how I did so I can do better in the next story of this pairing!