AUTHOR: Mnemosyne
Disclaimer: Not mine! Don't I wish?
SUMMARY: You should never let Domyouji Tsukasa help plan your wedding, but sometimes he just doesn't take a hint.
RATING: PG
CHARACTERS/PAIRINGS: Domyouji/Makino, Sojiroh/Yuki, mentions of the others
SPOILERS: None, except general ones for the series
WARNINGS: None!
NOTES:
My FIRST Hanadan fic! HOORAY! This is just a bit of silliness I wrote because I wanted to write SOMETHING. It incorporates two of my favorite things: T/T and Jiroh/Yuki. What's not to love? Also, I know Makino would no longer be Makino after marrying Domyouji, but I like to think of it as an affectionate petname, which is why I've left it in. :) Please enjoy!
1.
"Absolutely not." Makino gaped at him.
"What?" Domyouji glared at her, then went back to admiring his outfit. "I had it made especially for the occasion."
"You are absolutely not wearing that to Yuki's wedding," Makino repeated with more vehemence.
"It's Sojiroh's wedding, too, idiot."
"I can guarantee that Sojiroh will agree with me."
"No he won't."
"If he has a pair of eyes in his head he will."
Tsukasa examined himself in his full-length mirror. He couldn't see what the problem was, he really couldn't. Yes the suit was purple, and pinstriped, but it was VERSACE. And anyway, it matched the fedora, which, yes, was crafted in purple velvet, but that added richness. And the peacock feathers in the hatband were for a little added flair; that was all. Okay, maybe three feathers was going a little overboard, but two looked silly and one didn't give the outfit enough punch. In short, he looked GOOD. Dramatic. What was that idiot complaining about?
"Is it the shoes?" he asked. Now that he came to think about it, the shoes weren't quite right. They were black patent leather with an extremely pointed toe, but as he looked at himself in the mirror he realized they made him look like he had clown feet. Maybe he'd have them re-worked and blunt the toe a little. Just a little.
"No it's not the shoes!"
"Well what then?"
Makino threw her hands up in frustration. "You look like a pimp!"
"Eh?" He frowned at her reflection in the mirror, and then grinned in triumph. "I don't have a hand crank! Eh, dummy?"
Makino blinked at him in bewilderment, then rubbed the bridge of her nose in exasperation. "No. Idiot. PIMP, not PUMP. God, you're such a moron. Why did I marry you?"
"Because I'm Domyouji Tsukasa, heir to Domyouji Holdings, and you are the girl I chose!"
"Yes, but besides that." She waved a hand dismissively before he could open his mouth to blather some more. "Whatever. It doesn't matter. Just you're not wearing that. The couple is supposed to be the center of attention at a wedding, not the guests. If you wear that Yuki and Sojiroh will never make it through their vows without laughing. I'll pick out something nice, neutral and UNDERSTATED for you to wear instead."
"But then I won't match Kumi-chan." He pouted a little.
Makino felt a moment of blind panic at the mention of their daughter. "Tsukasa," she said, very slowly, "did you order Kumiko clothes for the wedding?"
"Yes!"
"Do they match that?" She gestured hopelessly at his outfit.
He beamed with pride. "Yes! Don't worry -- I ordered a dress for you, too!"
"Can you run in those shoes?"
"Eh?"
"I'm giving you a three second head start before I kill you."
2.
"Oh. My." Yuki blinked in astonishment at the chocolate fountain Domyouji had proudly had delivered to her home. "It's very nice."
"Top of the line," Tsukasa agreed, chest puffed up like a peacock. "Not a penny spared. Makino wanted to get a lollipop tree, but I reminded her she's a Domyouji now and doesn't have to scrimp like a dirty pauper anymore. Why did you make her your Matron of Honor? She's useless."
"But isn't it a bit tall?"
"Top of the line!" he repeated, as if saying the same thing a second time but in a louder voice would somehow get it to sink in. Did all poor people have such mushy brains? He'd have to warn Sojiroh.
"But seven feet?" The fountain was taller than Yuki herself. She blinked up at a small sparrow that had perched on top of the fountain, where normally chocolate would gush up in a sweet cascade. It seemed curious about this new tree that had appeared where no tree had been before.
"TOP OF THE LINE!" Honestly, she could be as dense as his little weed, if not as cute. Not that he'd ever say that to Sojiroh. Sojiroh had a mean left jab.
"Well Thank you, Domyouji-san." Not knowing what else to do, she bowed in gratitude. "It was very thoughtful of you."
"I know." He smirked and turned around to start strutting back to his car. "Wait until you see the ice sculptures!"
Yuki watched him go, a little dazed. It wasn't until he was gone that she realized her family's front yard was currently dominated by a towering seven foot, non-functional fountain, and that she had no reasonable way to get it moved somewhere else.
She stared up at the top of the fountain again, where the little sparrow had begun scouting the spot as a potential nesting site.
"My Aunt Hotaru is allergic to chocolate," she said weakly.
The sparrow chirped in sympathy.
3.
Sojiroh knew to expect trouble as soon as he heard Akira shouting. After Rui, Akira was the most laid back of the F4. He almost never raised his voice to anyone, especially his friends. Even Tsukasa, who could aggravate a saint, was rarely on the receiving end of a tirade from Mimasaka.
Rarely. Not never. RARELY.
As Sojiroh stepped into the tearoom, he found Akira and Domyouji attempting to stare each other down. Rui stood between them, calmly reading a magazine and largely ignoring the snarls erupting on either side of him. The only indication he gave that he was paying any attention at all was to occasionally take a step forward, backward, or side to side to keep himself between both of his friends, and (more importantly) to keep them APART.
"This is a place of peace and meditation, you two," Sojiroh reminded the combatants as he stepped into the room and closed the sliding door behind him. "Please don't break anything."
"Then tell Tsukasa to take back what he just said before I break his face," Akira growled.
"What did you say, Tsukasa?" Sojiroh sighed.
"Nothing!"
"Rui?"
"He said that Akira's sisters couldn't be the flower girls at your wedding because then Kumiko wouldn't be able to do it." Rui laconically turned a page and went back to reading.
"She's the daughter of an F4!" Domyouji barked. "That far outranks a SIBLING!"
"Are you saying my little sisters aren't WORTHY?" Akira seemed to be getting angrier with every passing second.
"Of course not! They flower-girled at MY wedding. Flower-girling for someone else would be a step down!"
"So now SOJIROH'S not worthy!"
"Stop twisting my words!"
"Then stop talking!"
"I am Domyouji Tsukasa and I'll talk when I want to talk!"
"Well I'm Mimasaka Akira and I will BUST YOUR TEETH WITH A HAMMER, you pompous bastard!"
"ARRGH!"
"YARRR!!"
Sojiroh grabbed Rui's wrist and pulled him out of the way as the two young men launched towards each other and met in midair with a cartoonish CRASH! "Did anyone think of asking Yuki or me what we wanted?" he asked, not really expecting an answer from his friends, who were currently trying to throttle each other.
"I think I might have mentioned it back at the start," Rui said without looking up from his magazine. "No one listened. They usually don't when they're being territorial."
A sharp CRACK followed by the sound of rolling pottery made Sojiroh wince. "I thought I said don't break anything," he groaned.
"OW!" Akira bellowed. "He broke my nose!"
"Don't break anything IMPORTANT," Sojiroh clarified. "Some of these teacups are one of a kind."
4.
"You did WHAT?!"
Tsukasa glared at his wife. "Why are you screeching at me, harpy?" he demanded.
Makino was gaping at him with eyes the size of saucers. "I just you said did you WHAT DID YOU DO!?"
Usually Makino was adorable when she got angry, but he'd been up late the night before and her tone of voice was giving him a headache. "They'll thank me," he snapped, rubbing his temple demonstratively so she'd get the point.
"You changed the venue!"
"Yes. And?"
"TO HAWAII!?"
Tsukasa sighed. They'd been OVER this. "The weather forecast is for rain on the wedding day here in Japan. Hawaii is supposed to be sunny and warm all week. There is no problem here! STOP YELLING AT ME!"
"No pro NO PROBLEM!? You you BAKA!" She punched him in the arm.
"OW!" He grabbed his arm and glared at her some more. "What!"
"You can't just change a couple's plans like that! How will we get the guests to Hawaii? They're not all super-rich brats with private jets like you! And besides, the location they chose is special to Yuki!"
"It's a dinky little park in the middle of nowhere!"
"It's where her parents were married!"
"That doesn't make it any less dinky!"
"ARRRGH!!" Tsukushi threw her hands in the air in frustration. "Call Hawaii and cancel the reservations! Then go lock yourself in the basement and hit yourself with a rubber hose, because I'm too angry to do it myself!" She spun on her heel and stormed away.
"ALL YOUR YELLING HAS GIVEN ME A HEADACHE!" Domyouji bellowed at her retreating back.
"GOOD!"
"APOLOGIZE!"
"IN YOUR DREAMS!"
"FRUSTRATING WOMAN!!"
"INTELLECTUALLY STUNTED SOPHMORIC IDIOT!"
".WHAT? DON'T INSULT ME USING WORDS I DON'T KNOW!"
"HAH! THEN I'D NEVER BE ABLE TO TALK TO YOU AT ALL!"
"GET OUT!"
"FINE!"
"FINE!"
"FINE!!" The door slammed behind her as she stormed outside, then reopened a moment later as she marched back in and grabbed her umbrella. "IT'S RAINING!" she snapped angrily.
"GOOD!" Domyouji barked.
"SHUT UP!" Slam!
"I BET YOU WISH WE WERE IN SUNNY HAWAII!" Tsukasa hollered.
5.
"We should have gone to Hawaii," Yuki sighed.
"They would have just followed us there," Tsukushi soothed, rubbing her friend's back and glaring around the latticework gate at the throng of guests that filled the small outdoor venue. She thought of them only loosely as guests, since the vast majority of them hadn't been invited. Hoardes of pretty young women clustered around the raised altar, elbowing each other and stomping on one another's feet as they tried to get close enough to reach across the velvet ropes and touch Sojiroh while he waited for Yuki to make her way down the aisle. For his part, Sojiroh looked frazzled and more than a little pissed, which was not at all the way a bridegroom should look minutes before wedding his bride.
"Nishikado-san!" the women bayed, like a pack of dogs. "Nishikado-san! Over here, Nishikado-san!"
"Why her, Nishikado-sama? Why not me? Aren't I prettier than her?"
"I AM prettier than her! And smarter! I can make you so happy, Nishikado-san! I can make you a hundred times happier than HER!"
Makino felt her hackles rising with every overt and implied insult the women made about her friend. Beside her, Yuki was wilting like a tissue paper flower in the rain. Tsukushi knew that everything the other women were saying had gone through Yuki's own mind more than once, and hearing her thoughts spoken aloud was re-igniting old doubts that had long ago gone dormant. I'll get rid of them, Tsukushi decided, firming up her jaw and balling up her fists. It didn't matter that she was wearing a delicate bridesmaid gown of fluttering green chiffon; she'd give them all a thrashing like they wouldn't believe. Rolling her head once on her neck, she took a step forward.
"OY! Everyone SHUT UP!"
Makino froze, one foot still in mid-air. Eyes wide, she peered through the latticework to see what was going on.
Domyouji had shoved the minister aside and was standing front and center at the altar, eyes hard with fury. The women had fallen silent and were staring at him with fearful adoration. Despite his anger, Tsukasa was clearly lapping up the attention, and Makino rolled her eyes. "Showboat," she muttered under her breath.
When he was sure he had everyone's undivided attention, Tsukasa spoke again. "I don't know who all you people are, and I don't care," he boomed. "But you're making Sojiroh angry, and a man shouldn't be angry on his wedding day. Unless you're marrying my little weed, in which case it's impossible to not get angry at least three or four times a day, wedding day or not." His brow furrowed and his glare intensified. "But none of you are going to marry my Makino because she's MINE, ne? So just stop thinking about it!"
Tsukushi buried her face in one hand. "Oh God," she sighed. "Just get to the point."
"Yuki is pretty," he went on, clearly annoyed. "If she wasn't pretty Sojiroh wouldn't like her, stupids."
Could have been more tactful, Makino sighed inwardly, but then he wouldn't be Domyouji.
"And she's smart because she's best friends with my Makino," Tsukasa continued. "That proves she's the smartest girl here. Except for Tsukushi herself, obviously, even if she's incredibly dumb sometimes."
Just remember you're in love with him, Tsukushi reminded herself. Hopelessly, madly in love with him.
"And it doesn't matter that she's not rich, because Sojiroh is rich enough for the both of them. That's how it was for me and my Makino. I raised her up out of the dirt and turned her into a princess. Yuki's not a useless pauper like Makino was, but it'll be more or less the same thing."
HOPELESSLY, MADLY IN LOVE WITH HIM, Tsukushi reminded herself again, grinding her teeth. I HAVE to be madly in love with him, because you'd have to be mad to fall in love with him to begin with!
"Tsukasa?" That was Sojiroh, and he sounded more or less amused by his friend's speech. "Can you maybe get to the point? I'd like to get married sometime this century."
"My point IS, Sojiroh doesn't want any of you; he wants Yuki-chan. So you can all either sit down, shut up, and quit interfering, or you can get out!" Domyouji nodded sharply and crossed his arms across his chest. "If you don't, I'll sic my little weed on you. I don't hit girls, but my Makino hits anything that breathes."
I do not! she thought indignantly. Only things that annoy me! Like HIM!
She was roused out of her thoughts by the sound of dozens of unhappy young women filing past her position, grumbling softly to themselves and each other. Glancing over her shoulder at Yuki, Makino smiled. Her friend was beaming, blushing under Tsukasa's misguided but somehow sincere praise. Tears were in her eyes as she said, "Domyouji-san is a very strange man, ne?"
"Hai, he is," Tsukushi sighed, turning her attention back to her husband, who was smugly overseeing the exodus of would-be wives. "But I love him."
"I'm glad."
"Hmm?"
"Because of you, I met Domyouji-san. Because of Domyouji-san, I met my Jiroh-kun." Makino faced Yuki again. Her friend was smiling softly, a radiant vision in white. Leaning forward, Yuki wrapped her in a hug.
"Domo arigato, Tsukushi-chan," she whispered.
Tsukushi hugged her friend tightly in return. "We'll see if you still want to thank me after you've been married to an F4 for a year," she giggled, tears in her eyes and voice. But really, there are worse things than being married to an F4, she thought, thinking of Tsukasa's warm eyes and commanding presence, and how easily he'd snatched this wedding from disaster with just the sound of his voice, Not being married to one, for example. That would be the worst thing in the world.
THE END