Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. All characters, terms, and affiliates of Gintama are not mine, but belong to their respective owners, Hideaki Sorachi, Shueisha, Sunrise, TV Tokyo, VIZ Media &c.

Domestic Bliss

It was the thump thump thump and Gintoki's groans that roused Shinpachi from a recurring nightmare of his sister and her many culinary attempts. He never could understand how anything she cooked became a shriveled lump of unrecognizable something, but as Shinpachi continued to lay on his side, listening to the shuffling of clothes and groaning from across the table, he could only wish that he were back in his dream, choking on his sister's terrible tasting food and far, far, far away from what was obviously going on across what was too small a distance.

Gintoki grunted, the couch creaked, and Shinpachi suppressed a shudder.

Could he at least have had the decency to get a damn room? There really were times when Shinpachi doubted his quasi-employer's common sense.

Like drinking strawberry milk. Seriously. What was up with that?

The creaking got louder and the thump thump thumps got faster, and Shinpachi was ready to scream about filing a grievance—

But Gintoki shouted for him. "Will you get off of me? A man needs his time alone to read Jump. Reading Jump. Jump-reading now."

"But Shinpachi's sleeping on the other couch," came Kagura's voice, equally loud.

"He won't be for long, if you keep shouting like that."

He wondered if either noticed that they were both shouting. At least they weren't doing what he'd thought they were doing—

Thump thump thump

So what was that noise, then, if not that? Shinpachi was thoroughly torn. Open his eyes now and get traumatized, or stay "asleep," and be forced to listen to the goings on and be traumatized later with the power of his own imagination. When Gintoki gave a particularly heartfelt groan, Shinpachi made up his mind.

And cracked open an eyelid.

What he saw made him sag with relief.

His lazy employer was flat on his back with his arms extended straight up to the ceiling. The latest Jump issue was suspended between his hands as he attempted to read with a squirming red bundle stretched on top of him.

"Stop it," Gintoki's voice was tinged with defeat as Kagura made herself comfortable on her "bed." A small, pointy elbow sank into his stomach and there was that familiar groan.

"But I'm not comfortable yet."

"That could be from my abs of steel. Why not go lie on Shinpachi? He's much softer."

A part of him wanted to protest, but why deny it? It was true.

"I don't want to. He kicks in his sleep."

"You kick in your sleep. You're doing it even now."

Thump thump thump

Ah, so that's what it was. Whatever was left of his paranoia left him, and Shinpachi was able to fully open both his eyes. Kagura was doing her best to tenderize Gintoki's unwilling body. He smiled as another groan (of pain!) was wrenched from the older man. Looking at them now...it was so domestic. Normal--for them anyways.

Gintoki had apparently conceded partial defeat. Sighing, he tucked a finger between the pages with his right hand and used his other arm to wrap around Kagura's waist. A bit of shifting and swearing ensued before they found themselves on their sides, sharing space. Laying on his left, Gintoki resumed his reading and even from where he lay, Shinpachi knew it was uncomfortable. On the other hand, Kagura was settling herself down to her nap, content with the knowledge that should she kick now, Gintoki would get it right where he deserved.

Satisfied, Shinpachi closed his eyes.

It was just another ordinary day at the Yorozuya.