Craig was fed up. He'd come back to aid his family through the major heartaches for the past year, but too much pampering by his mother or too many questions about life in Dublin from his sister or too many awkward moments with Darren were driving him insane. He needed to break free and take a moment to relax in himself.

He checked himself in the mirror, playing with his hair and rubbing his hand over his stubble-covered cheek. Upon returning home, his mother hand complained that he looked so different than her baby boy, that he was much better looking without the beard. But he ignored her orders to shave it off and let it be. To him, it was sign of the growth he had made over the past 12 months, to the person he had become after a year away from home.

He grabbed his wallet from phone and made his way downstairs to the pub.

"I'm just going for a walk, mum. I'll be back in time for tea, okay?" Craig said, smiling at Kris who was working with Frankie behind the bar.

"Sure son, just don't be late. Have a nice time."

Nodding at her request, Craig walked the short distance to the door. Pushing it open, he stepped outside to the warmth of the September sun. The door behind him creaked on its hinges as it shut when he made his way through the various benches that gathered outside the pub.

The creaking sounded through the still afternoon air and Craig turned when his name was called.

"So Dean, what are you really going to do?" Kris asked, gathering the few empties that were on the tables.

"I'm goin' for a walk; clear my head."

"Not going to see a certain blonde haired, blue eyed DJ then?" Kris smirked; placing the single glass he was holding and crossing his arms.

"No need, he's moved on – he's engaged, in case you forgot," Craig sighed, glancing up at the fluffy clouds in the blue, blue sky above his head. He remembered a time when he would lay on the grass in the park and watch the shapes of the clouds as they passed above him; a time before falling for his best mate and being abandoned at an airport.

"Nah, I didn't mate, just thought you might be able to rekindle that old flame. You never forget your first love," Kris reminded, grabbing the glass once more, along with a couple of empty lager bottles.

"John Paul has," Craig replied, his voice low. He smiled sadly at Kris walking down the steps towards the village. His eyes were drawn to clouds once more, that when the other person connected with his shoulder, he gasped in surprise as well as pain.

"Oh, sorry 'bout that mate," Craig apologised, finally looking up.

He met the blue eyes that had haunted his dreams, the eyes that he loved and hated, given what mood he was in or what day of the week it was. Today, he was excited to see them, in person, for the first time in almost 12 months.

"Craig…" John Paul whispered. He'd just said goodbye to Kieron, leaving him to deal with Niall's latest drama. Anyway, he'd had a text from Kris asking if he wanted to free him from the boredom of a quiet shift at the dog. Kris had said that he some major news to tell him… This, John Paul thought, was obviously it.

"Hey, John Paul… erm, how are you doing?" Craig asked, choosing to take the road of politeness.

"I've been…ahem," John Paul started, clearing his throat, "I've been good. What about you?"

"Oh you know, I've been muddling through," Craig joked. He kicked at the pavement with his trainer, eyeing John Paul, breathing him in. He still smelled the same, fresh and clean and JP. He even still used the same aftershave that had enticed Craig so many times in the past. Using the confidence he'd found from his lonely year, Craig took the plunge and asked John Paul if he wanted to have a pint at the SU, to catch up properly.

Stunned by the request, watching Craig rub his neck in expectation and nerves, John Paul spluttered with his reply of yes.

"Are you free now?" Craig questioned, checking his phone for the time. Still a long time before the dinner would be ready.

"I was actually going to meet up with Kris, said he was bored at work, but I can always text him back and say that I've got something else on."

"If it's no trouble," Craig said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

"None at all," JP smiled, extracting his phone. He typed out the message and had it sent in no time, "Ready?" he asked.

"Always," Craig replied, smiling at his former lover.

--

The walk to the bar was quiet, with small comments made few and far between. Craig offered to get the first round in, asking John Paul to grab a table outside. He didn't recognise a lot of the people in the bar when he entered, but then it was just early September, most of the students wouldn't be back yet. One that he did recognise, however, was standing at the bar. She looked older, somehow, yet still the same Sarah Barnes when he'd last been in Hollyoaks. It could have been the new clothes, or the new hair style, Craig wasn't sure, but Sarah had an air of age and growth about her.

Giving a fair berth between the two of themselves, Craig waved down the other barman who was reading his newspaper. Sarah, recognising his voice, handed over her cash and received her change before joining his side.

"What the hell are you doing here, Craig?" She seethed, her voice barely a whisper.

"I'm back to help my family after all that's happened, Sarah. And," he took a deep breath, facing her," And I'm having a drink here to catch up with some friends, okay?"

"It will never be okay, what you did to me, okay? Never!" She spat, glaring at him. She shook her head in disbelief before joining Zoe by the pool table.

Receiving his own drinks, Craig handed over a tenner and told the barman to keep the change. He glanced at Sarah as he made his way to the exit, she was still throwing daggers his way.

Back outside, he sighed in relief of being in the fresh air once more and placed the pint glass before John Paul. Taking the empty seat across from him, Craig was unashamedly staring at his former boyfriend.

"What?" John Paul asked, smiling embarrassedly as his cheeks turned red.

"I'm just looking… no harm is there?"

"There is if my fiancée or someone catches ya?" John Paul joked, drinking from his glass.

Craig looked to the table top, using his finger to spread spilled beer across the table.

The silence was awkward before Craig took a step forward and asked John Paul about his family, and how life at HCC was going for him, conveniently avoiding the topic of the priest, former. John Paul opened up and was telling him all about his sisters and how they were doing, and about the new addition to the McQueen clan.

"You should see him, Craig, he's just adorable! He has the strength of an ox, the way he can grip yer finger!"

"Yeah, I remember Charlie at that stage – does Max thinking that anything he can get his hands on should be put in his mouth?" Craig asked.

"Yeah, he does!" John Paul laughed, placing his glass on the table as he leaned in close to Craig, "Just yesterday he was trying to fit a whole stuffed bunny in his mouth! He is just so cute!" John Paul praised, laughing at the memory.

"Is that…" Craig started, looking at the spot just above JP's head.

"Is that what, Craig?" John Paul asked.

"Is that the same bunny we were playin' bunny tennis with last summer?" Craig asked, smiling at John Paul shyly.

"It was bunny cricket, Craig! But yeah, one and the same."

The boys recalled the happier times of their summer affair. It had been such a happy afternoon together.

"We did have some good times together, didn't we?" Craig asked suddenly, his head low.

"We did Craig, but not enough to take away from the bad," John Paul reminded him.

Nodding his head in agreement, Craig took a drink from his pint, choking on the amount of liquid forcing it's way down his throat.

"I am sorry, you know."

"For what?"

"All the pain I put you through last year, the stringing along, the lying," Craig explained, staring hard at John Paul.

"I am too."

The conversation lulled some, both boys focussing on their drinks rather than each other. The sun was hidden behind a cloud, casting shadow over the village.

"…does… does he make you happy?" Craig asked, staring at JP hard.

"With all his heart. He gave up the one thing he has known in his entire life to be with me, Craig."

"Do yer love 'im?" Craig asked, his voice cracking.

"Yes," John Paul replied, staring into his glass as he swirled the amber liquid around.

"Do you still love me?" Craig questioned, his voice quiet yet full of determination.

John Paul turned away from Craig, looking down the steps and into the village. His mind raced through his memories for a time when he'd fallen out of love with Craig. He found none.

"Yeah," he whispered.

"As much as you love him?" Craig asked. He was transported back to a time in the McQueen kitchen, when he'd asked the same question of John Paul's feelings for that knob Spike.

"I… I can't answer that Craig. I'm with Kieron, we're getting married. We had our chance and we blew it Craig. You need to move on… I have." John Paul returned his glass, his pint not finished, to the table and stood up. He didn't say goodbye, he just started to walk briskly away.

He hadn't gotten far before he heard the scrapping of metal on cement as Craig rushed from his seat and followed after him. Spinning him round, Craig kissed him with all the love and passion he felt, his heart pounding in his chest as his mind told him to leave things be, to leave John Paul alone.

He kissed him hard and slow, taking as much from the kiss as he could.

Pulling slowly back, Craig held firm of John Paul's shoulders and stared into those oceans of blue.

"I love you more than life itself and I am not giving up on us. I know you care for this bloke, but you love me more, I know it. And I'm gonna keep reminding you of that. And whether it takes me one day or one week to get through to, I will. I am gonna fight for you John Paul. I'm gonna keep reminding you, because we are meant to be. We're soul mates. And you know that."

Kissing John Paul one final time, Craig hugged and stepped away, making his way back to the Dog, when he heard John Paul shout out to him.

"Yeah?" He said, spinning on the spot.

"Love the stubble."

Smirking, Craig stroked his face before flashing a dirty grin at John Paul. He waved goodbye to him and continued on his path home, forming plans and stratagems to win back his lover. He was gonna get him back, whatever the cost.

And he was going to keep the beard.