Disclaimer: I do not own ANYTHING!

How long as it been since i posted a Twilight fanfiction? A looonnggg time I guess. Well I hope you like this and please review at the end!

This one is kind of confusing, but the italics are Bella's inner voice type thing (except for Edward 'talking').

It's been a month now. Over a month actually. A month and five days to be exact. I'm starting to feel numb. I've gotten used to the numbness. It's something that I welcome. It's better than being in pain.

Don't lie to yourself Bella.

It's a nice day today in Forks. A nice sunny day. A day that I won't be taking part in. Instead, I'm content in sitting in my rocking chair with my knees pulled up against my chest. I have my arms wrapped securely around them with my chin resting on my knees.

I stare out of the window and watch happy couples pass by. A flash of his face is all I need and suddenly there is a small throbbing in my chest. I clutch it, desperate to stay in one piece.

Don't think of him Bella, you know how much it hurts...

I fall off of the rocking chair and onto the hard cold wooden floors. I'm gasping for air as I hold onto by chest with both hands. Tighter. Tighter. Too tightly.

Great job idiot.

And then I hear his voice. His beautiful melodic voice that makes me weak in the knees.

Bella...

I can almost feel his breath against my neck. Then...I scream and fall face first on the floor. I feel like I'm tearing apart. It's too much. I can't think of him. I can remember him. I hear the door open quietly.

"Bella honey, are you alright?" It's Charlie. I don't move. "Bella?" I can feel the tears now.

Charlie scoops me up into his arms and puts me gently on the bed. My fingers uncurl themselves out of fists that I didn't even know I made.

"Bella?" He asks again.

I say nothing, instead I look down at my quilt. It's the quilt that he would be on every night. More tears fell from my eyes. I got off the bed suddenly and I'm sure that I scared Charlie. What if it smelled like him.

Don't think about him anymore Bella! Close yourself off! Now!

I grab the quilt off of my bed and throw it onto the floor, then I sink steadily to my knees. Charlie walks over slowly, as if he doesn't want to scare me. I wrap my arms around m torso and hang my head in despair.

"Bella?" Charlie sounds confused. "Let's go downstairs." He helps me up and puts his arm around my shoulder as he walks me down the stairs.

Let yourself be numb again Bella. It's the only way you'll survive.

I let all my emotions leave me. Happiness, anger, love. Emotions that I haven't felt in a long time. I let go of more. Sadness, hopelessness, despair. Suddenly, the violent throbbing in my chest goes back to soft pounding of pain that I'm used to. My lungs clear up to the shallow breaths that I'm used to. And my smile? That's been lost long ago.

That's it Bella, don't let yourself feel anything. You're safe now...