Sephiroth crawled onto the mattress. Cloud was bundled in the hotel bedspread up to his nose, a spiky blonde vegetable ripe for the picking.

"You up?" Sephiroth whispered, slowly lifting a leg and straddling the lump under the blankets that was Cloud's body.

He looked so sweet while he was sleeping that Sephiroth almost felt bad for what he was about to do, but not really. He proceeded to dry hump Cloud so hard his head started thumping against the hotel's leather headboard. It wasn't his finest work in waking someone up in the most obnoxious manner possible, but watching Cloud's eyes innocently flutter open and then ignite with outrage was like watching the sun rise.

Cloud was so confused he didn't have access to language right away, "Wh – f – shghgff – Sephiroth! Quit it!"

He smothered Cloud's face with one hand and humped him harder, "Hang on, I'm almost done."

"You're too heavy!" Cloud cried, trying to free his arms and writhing fruitlessly.

"Since when?"

"Since forever!" he faked a cough, but betrayed himself by being unable to fight off a smile. "Be nice!"

Sephiroth relented and fell on his side. He grabbed the tidy little burrito that the blankets made of Cloud and squeezed the whole package into a tight hug, "Why aren't you up yet? Am I not makin' enough noise?"

Cloud squinted at the television, where Sephiroth had put on some sort of crime investigation drama where most episodes involved pretty college girls being found in dumpsters.

"I was dreaming about that show," Cloud realized with a long yawn. "... It was the day before Christmas and I hadn't bought anything, yet. But all the stores I wanted to go in had dead hookers inside."

If Sephiroth was listening he wasn't showing it, he was busy kissing the side of Cloud's face and neck.

Cloud turned his head to meet his lips briefly but his eyes were wide open and looking down at Sephiroth, "... You're dressed already? What time is it?"

"Six."

"Six!?" One of Cloud's legs shot out of the blanket and then he was all limbs as he frantically freed himself, "How long did I sleep? What day is it? Is it tomorrow? Did we miss the party?"

"Relax, it's still today, you got time to get ready," Sephiroth moved his hand through Cloud's spikes, "Don't do anything to your hair though... it's sexy."

"There's probably cum in it."

Sephiroth shrugged a shoulder and leaned into a kiss.

Cloud tried to give him just one, but it always multiplied. The blanket between them was tossed aside and their limbs folded comfortably around each other. It was kind of annoying that Sephiroth was already fully clothed, but the feeling of warm, soft leather between Cloud's bare thighs would forever be a welcome one. Just as they were settled, Sephiroth's stomach grumbled in such agony that Cloud could literally feel the vibration through the wall of muscle.

Cloud laughed against his mouth, "Hungry?"

"I'm about to die."

"Aww! Why didn't you just order a pizza or something?"

"I didn't get up that long ago," Sephiroth kissed him, "... And I need to take you out on a real date," Sephiroth kissed him again, "... I owe you."

"No you don't. For what?"

"I've been a lazy boyfriend. All I ever do is put on sweatpants and keep you cooped up in my place. I'm gonna start to make an effort for you."

"You're not a lazy boyfriend at all," Cloud ran his fingers into Sephiroth's hair and held his face with both hands. "And don't you know you're at optimal hotness when you're in sweatpants?"

"Think so?"

"Very accessible," Cloud said into more soft kisses. He hooked his feet behind Sephiroth's back and arched up against him.

"Enough, I've got a boner and there's no time. Go get ready," They disentangled from one another, and he reached down and gave Cloud's ass a firm smack. "Seriously, don't do anything to your hair."

Cloud shied away from any further ass smackings by rolling off the side of the bed. He squatted down and began digging through his backpack, "I have some leftovers from lunch yesterday. Oh hello, I never gave you your new phone!"

Sephiroth was appreciating the meaty hang of Cloud's junk between his legs, "... Gimme whatever's in that bag, then sit on my face."

"No time," Cloud reminded him, then produced a flattened protein bar, a misshapen orange, a Slim Jim, and the new cell phone with all the charging necessities. Sephiroth snatched each item greedily, then craned his neck up. Cloud met his lips one more time, and then left him with snacks and his new toy.

After a fast shower and fighting the instinct to attempt to tame his hair, Cloud finally approached his new clothes. He hadn't worked up the nerve to even unzip the garment bag yet, and actually pulling off the tags felt gut wrenching. The receipt floated onto the bathroom floor, a harrowing reminder that he had better look damn good or else.

Cloud crumpled it up and guiltily stuffed it in his pocket. He hadn't told Sephiroth how much he'd spent, nor had Sephiroth asked. It was easy to be brave and use his credit card with Kristen's influence, but now Cloud was on his own and would have to answer some questions sooner or later.

Standing in the fogged up bathroom mirror, he didn't see the dashing, handsome young man that his mom claimed he was when he bought these clothes. He was just a little asshole thinking he was so cool and important shopping at stupid, bourgeois Hugo Boss. What the fuck had he been thinking? Hugo Boss was for old people, so what if Rufus Shin-Ra shopped there? Surely Sephiroth would think it was a little disgusting that his boyfriend would be caught dead in an outfit like this.

Cloud felt ashamed for wanting to impress a rich twat who didn't give a shit about him. The same rich twat's family who made it their business to clone his future husband and ruin what should have been a perfectly good weekend. What should have been Sephiroth's perfectly good life.

All Sephiroth wanted was someone to love him for who he was and eat pizza with him. Someone to come home to. Sephiroth didn't give a rat's fucking ass about fashion or impressing the Shin-Ra's. He was a badass, a hero, the man of everyone in the universe's dreams and here Cloud was, squandering his money on ugly clothes and giving the impression that he suddenly needed to be taken on "real" dates.

What was really important in life? What did Cloud really care about?

"Seph?" Cloud called from the bathroom, wild eyed and taken by a sudden whim, "You wanna blow off this party and go to the lab and rescue that clone?"

Sephiroth was blissfully downloading apps on his new phone. He realized he'd been spoken to but hadn't been listening, "What baby?"

"Nevermind."

Sephiroth realized a beat later what Cloud had originally asked, but decided to ignore it and turned his attention back to his phone. He couldn't really see the screen anymore though, it was suddenly very difficult to focus. He tried putting his glasses on, but that didn't really solve the problem.

Two entire minutes passed in silence.

The guilt compounded until Sephiroth finally sat up and looked at the bathroom door. Cloud was blocking the light from underneath, unmoving.

Sephiroth took his glasses off, "C'mon out."

"No. I don't like this outfit."

"You liked it before you went in there."

"I hate it. And I don't feel good, I slept too late. Can we just order some food and stay here tonight?"

"I wish. We have to go."

Cloud snorted furiously, "Who gives a shit about Rufus' birthday?"

"Not us. But the President told me to my face to come," Sephiroth couldn't believe he was about to be manipulated into convincing Cloud to go to a party he had absolutely no interest in attending. But he was in love with a complete brat, so he did it anyway. "We don't hafta stay long, but we gotta show up."

"I don't have anything to wear."

"What coulda possibly happened to you in there in the last fifteen minutes?"

"Realizations."

Sephiroth let out a laugh, "Like what?"

"I'm not cool, and I don't have any principles. I'm stupid, and a poser, and the first chance I got I went against everything punk rock stands for to blend in with the bourgeois!"

Sephiroth's eyes stung he rolled them so hard, "I'll rip a hole in the knee for you if it'll make you feel better. C'mon, those snacks made me hungrier, we need to go."

"These clothes are stupid!" Cloud lamented.

"Guess what I found on my new phone?" Sephiroth took great pleasure in suddenly asking. "You really made a jerk off video for me? You didn't have to actually do that, I wouldn't have held you to a dumb bet. I thought to watch it when I'm by myself, but since you're too punk to go anywhere..."

There was a heavy silence from the bathroom.

Sephiroth pressed play and held the volume button until it was all the way up.

It was a fucking loud phone, and it startled both of them as Cloud's murmuring, seductive voice came out at the highest imaginable volume, "Hey Seph. Okay. Oh shit. Okay. This is happening. As you know I'm not allowed any repetitive wrist motion right now... so I got something new from work to try-"

Cloud burst from the bathroom and snatched the phone from Sephiroth's hands. With a few desperate taps he stopped the video, "God! Does my voice really sound like that?"

Sephiroth was smiling at him.

So much for punk rebellion or at least making an entrance. He gingerly put Sephiroth's phone on the night stand, then straightened out his coat to officially present himself, "I look like a stupid faggot, right?"

The honest answer would normally have been yes. Most of Cloud's clothes were ill fitting items that were borrowed, from a thrift store, or meant for teenage girls. Sephiroth had immediately fallen in love with how everything Cloud wore suited his personality while showing off his perfect little ass. In fact, pulling his tiny jeans up over his crack was just a natural bit of Cloud's mannerisms, and a little accidental flash of skin now and then was something Sephiroth had come to expect and adore.

The distinct lack of stupid faggotry in what Cloud was currently wearing was jarring. These pants actually fit. Instead of gripping every inch of Cloud's legs for dear life, these pants sat against his body with a tiny bit of breathing room. Even for designer fashion Cloud's frame was slim, and it seemed he didn't understand the concept of tailoring yet, so his pants were cuffed a little bit and his belt was a little too long and hung against his thigh, but somehow it seemed purely intentional. The sweater and evening jacket were both loose, and flattered his blonde hair and blue eyes. His shoes were just dirty old white Nike high tops that he'd owned since high school in Nibelheim, but that touch of cheapness just added to the entire look.

Sephiroth didn't know it was even possible for Cloud to look so put together. It was literally like he stepped out of the pages of a magazine. Not really a fashion magazine though, but like Skymall or some shit.

"You hate it!" Cloud accused, and started shrugging out of the jacket. "I'll return it all!"

Sephiroth jumped up and took his shoulders to stop him, "What are you talkin' about?"

"You're not pawing at me like you normally do when I show you something new..." Cloud let out a shuddering breath and a hot tear rolled down his cheek, "Or saying anything!"

Sephiroth pulled him into a hug, "Calm down a second."

With that gentle plea, Cloud relaxed a little into the embrace, "... Don't think less of me because I wanted to wear something like this."

Sephiroth laid his cheek on top of Cloud's head and steeled his nerves, it was always a 50/50 shot when saying anything about the way Cloud looked that it might backfire or trigger some insane, insecure rage. But he told him the truth, "You're fuckin' gorgeous, Cloud. You don't look like you're tryin' to impress or blend in with anybody. You just look like hot-ass Cloud, who got an outfit to wear to a stupid party. It's a pair of pants and a jacket. What's the big deal?"

Cloud squeezed him tighter, "I just don't want you to think I'm this kind of person!"

"I know exactly what kind of person you are."

"... I guess you do."

"Baby, listen..." Sephiroth struggled through several false starts. The truth was that punk rock street cred was very low on the list of what made Cloud cool, if it factored in at all. He wasn't sure how to say this without coming off as insulting, so he finally went with: "Wearin' whatever you want is punk. Right?"

"Yeah."

"So it's not punk to feel like wearin' different clothes will change who you are. Right?"

"Yeah..." Cloud agreed again, this time a lifting realization in his tone. "You know what I really wanted when I got this ugly outfit?"

"What?"

"You can't make fun of me. Promise?"

"I can pretty much guarantee I will. Tell me anyway."

Cloud blew out some air, "... I fantasized about having that moment you see in movies. Like you came to pick me up for prom and you're waiting downstairs with my mom. Then I'd be at the top of the staircase and come down all slow, and you'd be like, 'Wow, he's a loser and I liked him for his personality but now he's conventionally hot'... you know?"

Sephiroth's eyes rolled back into his head again, "You are conventionally hot, and everyone with eyes knows it. And that movie moment was literally happening before you freaked out."

"No way!"

"I swear to god. The light from the bathroom was behind you and everything."

Feeling a tad more confident and more settled into the fact that he didn't have to hold onto some subversive aesthetic for one evening, he took a step back and turned in a circle, "I mean... kinda cute, right?"

"Cloud, you're handsome. But like way hotter than that – I can't even think of a word for it."

Cloud beamed up at the man who loved him, the man who was telling him in all seriousness that he was handsome, but couldn't deny that the moment felt a little... superficial. But not because of the clothes.

"Now what?" Sephiroth asked as he watched the smile fade from Cloud's face. Another tear fell, and he kissed between his eyes, "What?"

"... Is this for real? Just acting like last night didn't happen?"

"We're not actin' like it didn't happen. This is just how we act."

"But what do we do now?"

"Cloud... baby. I'm not gonna bullshit you. We're not gonna do anything."

Cloud's eyes darkened, "What do you mean?"

Sephiroth stared down at him, his hands kneading Cloud's shoulders slowly, "On Monday night after work, I'm gonna go to the lab and visit Cissnea, see how she's doin'. Then I'm gonna find the clone, and kill him."

"But this morning you said..." Cloud's gaze dropped from the knife slit green of Sephiroth's eyes, to his lips where it was softer. "You said we would help him."

"You needed to go to sleep."

Cloud pulled away sharply, "So you lied to me?"

"He killed SOLDIERs, Cloud. Doesn't that mean anything to you? He also tore Cissnea's arm off for fuck's sake. He broke into my place. He scared you, he could have hurt you. The cruel thing to do would be to just let him live out the rest of his life. But I'm pissed, and it would bring me satisfaction knowin' this particular clone was exterminated."

"You would do every single one of those things. If you were little, and all alone, and had nowhere to go, you would do all of that to stay out of the lab. And if you did get sent back, I would try to help you... I am going to try to help you."

Sephiroth dropped down onto the mattress, "We already fought about this last night."

"We didn't fight at all! I didn't have the energy! I was being a kind and understanding and sensitive boyfriend, but it was clearly a waste on you!"

"Kind of," Sephiroth admitted, laying back and making himself comfortable if they weren't going to go anywhere after all. "If you got somethin' to say, just say it. If it'll help you get over this, don't worry about my feelings."

"Alright then! You're going to therapy!" For some reason in Cloud's accent the word 'therapy' was about four times longer than it needed to be.

"This shit again, too? I already said I might."

"Might? You said you would!"

"I said I might," Sephiroth argued.

"Guess what? I snoop through all your shit! And I know you have a standing appointment every Saturday morning with a therapist that Rhonda hand picked for you but you never even went once and you never told me about it! And right now I'm not sure which makes me more pissed off! On Monday morning I'm going to Rhonda first thing and I'm going to rat you out!"

"I quit therapy," Sephiroth announced, and in his accent he pronounced every single letter in the word 'quit' with slow drawling vigor. "I dunno why you're usin' Rhonda as some kinda weapon. Call and tell her right now for all the fuck I care. I quit."

"You can't quit if you never went to begin with!"

"I had a child psychologist who came in and talked to me all growin' up," Sephiroth said. "It's bullshit. I don't have to go through it if I don't want to."

"Don't you think things would be much different now? I was trying to give you space and time and not get on your case, but now I'm making you!"

Sephiroth was grinning, "How are you gonna make me do anything?"

Cloud shook both fists, "You're just – so – I'll find someone who can!"

"Don't back down, this is gettin' exciting!" He folded his hands behind his head, "Am I not supposed to know you snoop through my shit? I didn't think that was even a secret."

"Okay then! A couple months ago I found your little mental health journal that you started after your accident with Jenova. You haven't written anything since last December – and it wasn't even a real journal, it was the plot of Road House but you changed everyone's names to people you work with!"

Sephiroth let out a barking laugh, "I forgot about that."

Cloud rubbed his face in growling frustration, "... I can't give you help like you need, but I don't have to be a doctor to see how fucked up it would be to have to kill clones of yourself. People can't just do that and go on living a normal life, Seph!"

"I'm never gonna have a normal life."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I'm not normal. It's not us against the medical lab, Cloud. I need the lab to keep me alive. If I give 'em a little of what they want, then I get what I want... for the first time I really want a better chance at a longer life with you. The way I'm built, I have a chronic condition and my body needs upkeep - it's me in that lab, doin' what they tell me to do once or twice a week for the rest of my life or I'm gonna die. Do you get it?"

"Of course I fucking get it!" Cloud heard way too much anger in his own tone and took a pause for breath before gritting out, "I love you, I'm here for you, and I'm trying to understand... but I don't think it's fair to imply that I'm too naive to understand your baggage when it now includes clones!"

He was laughing, "You're the one that needs therapy."

"You're goddamn right I do!" Cloud agreed, and couldn't hold back his own laughter. "Can you at least fucking warn me before I have to come face-to-face with more alien, demon, science fiction bullshit please? I'm gonna start developing trust issues!"

"I have trust issues, too. How come you never told me you've seen Road House?"

Cloud's head rocked back in disbelief, "What!?"

"You like 80's action movies and I didn't know about that? That's unacceptable. Movie genres that you know and enjoy is soul fuckin' deep important information to me."

Cloud was finding his anger impossible to maintain. Goddamn Sephiroth and his ability to instantly defuse an argument... "Enjoy is a strong word. As a kid I watched anything that had homoerotic tension. So what?"

"So, there's still a lot of random shit we don't know about each other yet."

"You're comparing secret clones to me not telling you I've seen some random movie?"

Sephiroth sat up and rested his back against the headboard. He looked at Cloud for a moment, "... I wasn't keepin' anything a secret from you. Now's just the time it finally came up. And weird shit is gonna come up with you – like you havin' a nervous breakdown over some new pants. I don't fully understand what goes on in your head sometimes, but I love you and it makes me wanna try. Just like you might deal with science fiction once in a while, because you love me. Fair enough?"

Cloud puckered his lips in contemplation and did a slow lap around the hotel room. When he arrived back to where he started, he put a knee on the mattress and dropped down next to him, "Fair enough."

Sephiroth had been watching and waiting, and his mouth was already open to continue arguing. He closed it, then licked his lips, "... Really?"

"When you have a point, you have a point."

"C'mere," Sephiroth demanded, and pulled him into a hug. Cloud's spikes were so soft, and the curve of his skull felt so delicate underneath his lips. When Cloud became a SOLDIER, his normalcy and innocence and shock at the practices of the Shin-Ra medical labs would shrink, maybe even disappear altogether. The child inside Sephiroth was so fucking thirsty for someone to charge into his life and rage against what had happened to him. Wanting more bravado and tenderness from Cloud, he asked, "You mad at me?"

"No," His voice was muffled from where his face was pressed against Sephiroth's neck. "Are you? I'm sorry for yelling."

"Don't be, I had a good time. Was round two of this talk good for you?"

"I might even need round three," Cloud admitted, smiling at the long groan it drew out of Sephiroth. "... It's a shock, Seph. For a regular person, finding out there are clones of the man I love is a real fucking shock. And it's coming in waves. Wouldn't you be shocked if I had a bunch of clones?"

"You do, most of 'em live in Nibelheim."

Cloud lifted his head up to laugh, "Stop being so mean."

Sephiroth traced Cloud's lower lip, his finger falling into the corner of his smile, "Am I mean to you?"

Cloud exposed his teeth to bite the tip of Sephiroth's thumb and spoke around it, "Sometimes."

"I'm sorry."

Cloud once read in Cosmo that you were never supposed to say 'it's okay' in response to a sincere apology from your boyfriend, because it invalidated hurt feelings and the apology itself. Instead he pulled back from the embrace a little and looked at him, "I hear your apology, and I'd like to accept it in the form of therapy."

Sephiroth had steadily been inching closer to Cloud's lips, "Kiss me or else we're gonna fight some more."

"We're not fighting."

"Kiss me anyway."

Cloud put a finger over Sephiroth's mouth, "Show up to one appointment, take it seriously and give it a chance. Will you at least consider it?"

"Hell no."

Cloud shoved Sephiroth onto his back and descended with fierce, growling, frustrated kisses, but they quickly softened, then deepened, then rolled into a warm, relieved rhythm. This part always made up for any hard words, this part was effortless. But something in Cloud was panicked by the look he'd seen in Sephiroth's eyes when he talked about killing the clone. It made him afraid – not of Sephiroth, but for him.

Cloud pulled back, "Come on. Be nice and say yes and do it."

"No."

"If you're not out of town on a mission, there's no reason not to go."

"Those appointments are the only reason I get so many Saturdays off with you – which ain't that many. I'm not givin' that time up to talk about my mom with a shrink. Not a chance."

It earned Sephiroth another kiss, but Cloud immediately pulled back to appeal, "Saturday afternoon, then."

"Never gonna happen."

"Sunday morning."

"I'd rather go to church."

"You said you wanted to make more of an effort to take me out. What if we make a whole Sunday of it? Make the appointment for noon, we can still sleep in. I'll find a cute little brunch place nearby we can become regulars at. We'll have waffles and mimosas, then you can have your appointment – it's just one hour of your life, and then after can be a whole date day! We can go to a museum, or a movie, or a drive off the plate to the beach, or to the park for a run and to pet dogs. Then we go back home and fuck as much as humanly possible before the week starts."

Sephiroth had been sold since waffles, "Fine, I'll do it. But not tomorrow, next week."

"Really? Do you promise?"

"Yes," he fully enunciated. "I promise."

"You're not just lying to get me to shut up about it?"

"I'm tellin' you the truth to get you to shut up about it."

"Then some good came out of this fiasco..." I also know what our babies would look like, Cloud thought to himself. They'd need the lab one day to help make that happen, if it was ever going to happen. Not everyone at the lab was a mad scientist hellbent on evil, afterall. Maybe giving the lab a little of what they wanted would get something he wanted, too.

Sephiroth was watching Cloud's lips, waiting for him to finish, "What?"

Cloud blinked, "Did it make sense when I said the shock is coming in waves? It comes like, crashing back how fucking... weird reality is. Does that happen to you?"

"All the time," Sephiroth swung his legs over the side of the bed and reached for his boots. "No promises you won't ever be shocked again, but I promise this is in the top five crazy things."

"What's number one?"

"Alien DNA," Sephiroth glanced over as tied his laces, "Couldn't keep that a secret for long. Kinda figured if that didn't scare you off nothin' would."

"Are you kidding? That's one of the things I love most about you," A bright smile was lighting Cloud's face as he slid his leg across Sephiroth's lap to interrupt his work. "You said you'd make a hole in the knee."

"You sure?"

Cloud nodded with a big smile.

Sephiroth used his fingertips to pull the material as far away from Cloud's skin as he could, and then let it burn. The little spark of fire was bright and quick and gone in a flash, and then he pulled the singed fabric apart with a guttural rip that just sounded expensive. It exposed Cloud's knee, which happened to be sporting a large, angry-looking bruise.

Sephiroth couldn't resist sliding his fingers inside to touch that delicate skin, "This wasn't here last night. Did I do this?"

Cloud's chest rose and fell, "Maybe, probably. Doesn't matter."

An unasked for Cure took care of it and left Cloud's knee free of bruising, along with the rest of his body free of little aches he didn't realize were even there until they were gone. Maybe even a little one in his heart, too. These difficult conversations had a certain release of their own that left them both breathing a little bit heavier and unable to easily pull away once their lips started touching again.

Sephiroth made the kiss ridiculous with a groan and an elongated lash of his tongue, "I gotta pee. Let's get outta here before we starve to death while fuckin' each other."

Cloud laughed against him and kissed him one more time, longer, with more sincere tongue contact before tearing himself away. They both forced themselves to stand up and Cloud waved the hotel stationary at his reddened face, "... This party might turn out to be fun."

"It won't," Sephiroth called from the bathroom.

Cloud caught a look at himself in the mirror and realized that he'd had the most ridiculously messy bedhead throughout this entire discussion. He grimaced at himself and again fought the urge to tame it, "I'm so hungry that I don't know what I want to eat. Wanna go to the Psychic Food restaurant again?"

"I told you, I'm takin' you on a real date."

"Seph you don't-"

"Will you shut the fuck up already? I'm about to romance your ass off."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Sweet Pea was the most romantic restaurant in Midgar, which by default made it one of the most romantic places in the entire world.

If a celebrity couple wanted to make their relationship public, all they had to do was be seen there together. It was especially important in straight lady sitcoms about modern Midgar life; it was a huge deal if one of the character's boyfriends decided to take her to Sweet Pea – either he was proposing or there was going to be some kind of extreme drama.

For most of Cloud's life there was only one television in the house, and while it was true that April let him watch little boy bullshit as much as she could tolerate, she had a few favorite shows that he had no choice but to watch. Shows about love, men, relationships, heartache, innuendo, and above all, doing it.

Even as a child he recognized the difference in how women's shows portrayed sex. It was emotional and picturesque and lovely... and the way the camera would always like, center on the guy's sweaty back muscles... hypnotizing. Until April would send him outside or up to his room to do homework. Nothing was worse than exile just when things got good.

When Cloud got a little older there was a TV in his bedroom, and it often created an echo in the house because he was upstairs watching the exact same thing as April. She was the last to realize that her son had been a romcom watching buddy all along.

In real life, Sweet Pea looked exactly like it did on Sex and the City. The sidewalk was buzzing with paparazzi, polished little socialites and their flamboyant entourages, rich couples pretending to want their privacy, clueless tourists who were entirely under dressed, and an actress Cloud recognized from Netflix posing for the cameras with her dumpy husband.

One of the restaurant's valet guys was in the driver's seat of the tank, looking at Cloud with a patient but confused smile, "... Is everything alright, sir?"

Cloud sucked in air, and realized he hadn't breathed since Sephiroth had pulled up to the front of this place.

Sephiroth had opened Cloud's door and was watching Cloud's soul slowly return to his body, "Was this a stupid idea? I didn't know it was gonna be like this. We don't have to eat here if y - "

"I'm are!" Cloud declared. It didn't make any sense, but it came out of his mouth like a battle cry as he unbuckled himself and crashed to the ground, grabbing onto Sephiroth's arms to steady himself. "What are we doing here?!"

Sephiroth felt guilty but he wasn't sure why, "Julie said I should bring you here for our anniversary. You wanted to go to the Halloween party instead, but then I thought you might wanna come here now. Do you wanna leave?"

"I don't know what I want!"

Sephiroth paused to let Cloud nervously giggle and breathe for a second, "We're just here to say we been here, like every other dumb ass couple in the world. The food probably sucks."

"It's not about the food!" Cloud had to laugh, "... You never get nervous, do you?"

"I'm nervous right now."

"How do you hide it so well?"

"Restin' bitch face. It's easy, try it."

Cloud let out a giggle, shook out his nerves and then perfectly reflected Sephiroth's blank, unimpressed expression. They stared at each other for a few moments, eyes lidded and mouths relaxed but turned down.

"Hot," Sephiroth decided as he closed the tank door and let their 90,000 pound security blanket roll away, leaving them defenseless on the pavement.

The paparazzi didn't bait or harass Sephiroth into a reaction like some sort of coked up starlet, but candid pictures of him were rare and worth something. Cloud did what he normally did when the media was present; he looked down and slunk along beside Sephiroth like a pilot fish, letting himself be fully eclipsed by his taller, larger body.

"Are you here with your boyfriend, General Sephiroth?" One of them asked, a distinct tint of respect in his voice.

"Yes," Sephiroth answered, much to everyone's surprise. And then added, "Cloud Strife."

"How is that spelled?"

"C-L-O-U-D," Sephiroth said. "S-T-R-I-F-E."

Cloud was working hard to keep his resting bitch face, but couldn't help but glance up at Sephiroth in sheer wonder at how cool he could be. Put on the spot like that in front of so many cameras and strangers, he highly doubted that he could have successfully spelled out his own name.

"Isn't he from Bone City?" one of them asked.

Cloud glared out in the direction of that voice. Sephiroth smiled and corrected them, "He's from Nibelheim."

"How do you spell that?"

"I have no idea," he admitted, earning a roar of laughter.

"Can we have a photo of you both?" A woman called out, even though most of the photographers were less polite and had been snapping away the whole time. "Your fan club would love it!"

Sephiroth stopped walking and waited for Cloud's input.

Cloud was a big fan of the Silver Elite; the SOLDIER porn they'd produced had led to more of Sephiroth's semen being roughly shot down the back of his throat than he could ever thank them for. Just the thought of it lit a smile on Cloud's face, and he stood with an arm around Sephiroth's waist as the photographers got a good, long view of them both.

After a few seconds Cloud leaned on him a little to make him start walking again, and they turned a corner and entered a surprisingly serene courtyard. All the chaos outside of the restaurant was completely diffused. Cloud turned in a circle to look around when he realized the courtyard was absolutely covered in real live, freely growing, purple and pink sweet pea flowers.

Cloud could never get over how real they made artificial nature look on the upper plate. Trees were fake, grass was plastic, and flowers were made of fabric. But in the little courtyard outside Sweet Pea, everything was real, and it smelled wonderful. Since it was nearly December, there were heat lamps set up all around to keep the flowers healthy, giving the whole building a warm and cozy glow.

"This is kind of nice," he murmured as he found Sephiroth's hand.

Sephiroth provided no comment, because he was holding his breath in an effort not to gag. He did not find anything nice about this experience thus far.

The hostess didn't ask if they had a reservation, even though they did. They were General Sephiroth and that guy he was dating, of course there was a table available for them.

The interior of Sweet Pea was dimly lit, wicker baskets were stacked on every flat surface, calligraphy covered every chalkboard, tiny strings of lights were strewn about, and all the tables were spaced extremely far apart. It was the most basic set for any romantic comedy brought to life.

Cloud fought the fantasy, he really did. But he was there with Sephiroth, surrounded by other couples in the most homogenized romantic environment imaginable... it was fucking magic.

The table was so small their knees almost touched, and Sephiroth wasted no time stretching his legs out between Cloud's and crossed his feet under Cloud's chair. The waitress made a little show of lighting several candles at the center of their table. Somehow that tiny touch of bright light in the dim restaurant pushed away the rest of the room and brought them closer together. They literally couldn't see anyone else in the room but each other, and when they both came to that realization they couldn't help but smile at each other.

She gave them menus, "Can I start you off with a drink? A nice wine for this chilly night, maybe?"

"Coffee, please. Black," Sephiroth requested. "Can you bring a whole pot?"

"Yes, I'll bring a carafe," she corrected him kindly. "And for you?"

"Wine will put me to sleep," Cloud drummed his fingertips on the table while he scanned his body to assess his needs and make a mindful beverage choice. "I'll have water with lemon. And a double vodka and cherry coke, please. And can I have some cherries, like, in it?"

"Of course," she purred agreeably. "Are you two celebrating anything special tonight?"

Sephiroth was hangrily scanning the menu. Cloud fielded the question, "Oh, not really!"

"Yes you are."

"Oh."

"You're in love. I can tell. Even if that gift is all you're celebrating... that's enough. Right now the both of you have something that all the money in the world can't buy - a moment when you're with the one you love. Isn't that what love, no... not just love, but life is really about? Moments... vignettes... sparkling gems of memory we'll recall back to when we're older, all collected together to weave a tapestry of - "

"Can we get two things of garlic bread as soon as possible?" Sephiroth interrupted. "And this cheese board thing?"

She took the hint, "Of course! Take your time looking at the rest of the menu and if you have any questions about our wine selection please let me know!"

Once she was gone, Sephiroth held the menu up to block the restaurant from view and mouthed the words, "Oh my God."

It looked like Cloud should have been laughing loudly, but he was completely silent. He then squeaked and regained his voice, "What's a vignette?"

They guessed salad dressing but the context seemed wrong. So they looked up 'VINYET' on Sephiroth's phone and when Google delivered the answer they whisper-laughed until they were left grinning at each other.

Sephiroth let out a little sound, "You know I love you?"

While Cloud's heart sang out inside his chest, he tried to remain cool, "Is this corny place actually getting to you?"

"It's you. You make everything fun. I wanna go to more stupid places with you."

"You will," Cloud assured him.

Cloud ordered a chop salad, which came in a bowl bigger than his head and according to the menu, contained more calories than he usually ate in a day. It was less of a salad and more of a dressing, cheese, bacon, veggie and chicken smoothie served in a trough.

Sephiroth on the other hand wanted straight up raw meat to go with the garlic bread and cheese he was steadily consuming, so he got a steak as rare as Midgar's food safety codes would permit them to serve.

Once the order was taken and they had drinks and bread, the waitress disappeared for a long, long time. And that was totally okay.

Sephiroth consumed one entire basket of the bread and half the cheeseboard in moments. When the very urgent hunger was satisfied and they were left in the romantic quiet, their hands met in the middle of the table. Sephiroth sat leaning forward on his elbows, his palms up to let Cloud's fingertips massage and tickle across them, pausing to rub little circles against the rough, raised pads of scarred skin.

Sephiroth's vacant, relaxed expression jolted into a wide smile, just for a second.

"What'd you just think?" Cloud asked.

"I was thinkin' of phone questions," Sephiroth pushed his palms a little against Cloud's fingers as they dug in a little harder.

"Ask me now!" Cloud grinned, tracing the lines of his palms and making detours up each long finger in turn.

"Alright, here's one. Purely hypothetical..." That was the rule of the question game, "If we never got together, you think you'd have hooked up with someone else by now?"

"Ooh! Are you dead in this one?"

"No, life is the same. We just never got the chance to know each other."

"You're underestimating how crazy I am. I would have found some way to talk to you. But if it turned out that you weren't interested, I guess I'd have to move on somehow."

"I'm not dead and I didn't reject you," Sephiroth insisted, doubling down on the perimeters of this alternate reality. "I'm just askin' if we never met, who would you have hooked up with by now?"

Cloud's mouth twisted in thought, "I don't think I'd have a real proper boyfriend or anything, but... maybe my friend Skylar? He used to have a crush on me. In a universe where I somehow couldn't ever have you, I might have given him a chance."

"Nice. He's cute."

"You remember him?"

"He was with you in the helicopter."

"Oh yeah, that's right! Don't say he's cute, that's weird."

"He is, though. So he used to have a crush on you? What's that mean?"

Cloud hadn't told Sephiroth the whole story yet because it seemed like a face-to-face topic, if he was going to say it at all. And the past few times they'd been together... there were just more interesting things to do with his mouth besides talk about that. But now he was on the spot, so Cloud finally told him in full detail what happened at the seminar. He'd already told Sephiroth all about Angeal having a crush on Skylar, but not about Skylar's emotional vomit of an outburst about how Sephiroth was only using him to kill his down time on the weekends and that they weren't really in love. Then about how Cloud didn't belong in the army and was only working so hard to be a SOLDIER to be close to Sephiroth and keep their romance alive.

Sephiroth had to interrupt at this point, "There's easier ways of keepin' our romance alive then enlist in the army."

"Shut up," Cloud dismissed, and then continued on about how he really took the high road, and that they didn't talk for the rest of the weekend. And that their friendship was mended after Skylar sucked Angeal's gigantic monster dong which had the power to completely shift one's focus away from unrequited love.

"I've seen Angeal's dick a hundred times and it's not that big," was all Sephiroth had to say when Cloud's tale was complete.

"You aren't mad?"

"About what?"

"I dunno. Is it selfish to want to keep being his friend, knowing he had those kind of feelings? I don't want you to ever think I'm doing anything untrustworthy, or like I get off on being some kind of tease. If you think I should stop talking to him, I will."

"Didn't you say everything got cool between you two since him and Angeal started datin'?"

"I don't think they're dating!"

That wasn't what Angeal said, but Sephiroth couldn't stretch far enough to care, "Whatever."

"He did say he was sorry... but the things he said really hurt."

"You know none of that shit about us is true."

"I'm not talking about that part at all. It hurt to hear someone say that I don't even belong in the army... I know you have your doubts about me too, but I'm working really hard -"

"No I don-"

Cloud talked over him, " - and I know I have to stay dedicated to that kind of work forever whether I'm accepted into SOLDIER or not."

"Remember you said that a year from now when you're a Junior SOLDIER and I get to torture you everyday."

"Don't threaten me with a good time!"

Just then, the waitress slid their plates in front of them. She poured Cloud more water, and replaced Sephiroth's coffee carafe for a fresh one, "Can I get you anything else right now? Would you like another cocktail? Or would you like to go over the best wine pairings, perhaps?"

They both shook their heads. She left.

"I wanna say one more stupid thing about -" Cloud muttered into the first bite of his salad and spoke right through a full mouth, "Skylar. I have better stats than he does! And I limit broke! And in this little hypothetical question why the fuck would I immediately think of him to hook up with in a universe where I couldn't have you? Isn't that gross? Am I fucked up, Seph?"

"You're not fucked up at all."

They continued taking bites, chewing, swallowing, and looking at each other.

"... This has no business being called a salad," Cloud eventually commented when he discovered an entire strip of dressing-drenched bacon. "It's super good. Want to try some?"

"Don't try to trick me into eatin' vegetables."

"Okay," Cloud let out a soft, relieved giggle at that and gestured to the carnage on Sephiroth's plate. "How's your bloody meat?"

"Exactly what I needed. Wanna try?"

"Sure - you don't have to give me that much!"

"I scarfed all the bread too fast," Sephiroth cut off a couple generous pieces and pushed them into Cloud's salad with a satisfying splatter of blood against the greens. He watched Cloud eat and took his time deciding if he really wanted to say what he had to say, "So... I was talkin' to Genesis a couple days ago and we realized somethin' about like, the homosexual brain."

"Interesting," Cloud said through a full mouth. "Go on."

"In our work, we're surrounded by guys, right? Naked dudes are just, baseline normal. But when you work real close with a certain guy, become friends with him, go through shit with him, it's really normal to maybe... jerk off about him. Know what I mean?"

Cloud just laughed, and it was a sneaky and conspiratory noise.

Sephiroth loved the sound of that, especially when there'd been a great risk of a misunderstanding. But since the tone was light and Cloud on the same page, Sephiroth continued, "It'll happen, and it's okay. It doesn't mean anything. It especially doesn't mean you wanna fuck that guy, it's just a brain thing. It's not like you're a tease, or bein' unfaithful, or have to be careful with your friendship. And uh... this isn't me tryin' to give you therapy or anything, but I do think you're kinda fucked up about people bullyin' you when you were a kid."

"I guess my self esteem isn't what it could be."

"It's deeper than that... I think bein' pushed around and embarrassed turns you on."

"No way!"

"I got you pretty much figured out... if I wanna get you off, I have to be just a little mean to you. Stands to reason that if someone pushes you around, you might get attracted to them."

Cloud was actively trying not to have an erection at Sweet Pea. Unfortunately, Sephiroth's neon eyes were still glowing bright like the color of pure lust across the table in candlelight, while his lips wore the most kissable smile in the entire universe. "Honestly, I've truly never like... jerked off about Skylar. Or even wanted to. Ever. I'd admit it if I did."

"I don't care. You can jerk off about whoever you want."

"It feels so weird and wrong fantasizing about people I know, even if I tried I'd just feel like a complete criminal. If I'm not wishing I was with you, it's some random guy from porn that does something that reminds me of you," Cloud said, reaching across the table to rip off a little corner of the last piece of garlic bread.

Sephiroth handed him the entire piece, "Sometimes people you know invade those kinda thoughts. People you don't even want to think about..."

"How did talking to Genesis make you realize all this?" Cloud asked suspiciously.

"He had a sex dream."

"About you?"

"No! He was coverin' my work with Zack while I was at the Crater and had a gross dream about him. Zack didn't just fuck him, he like, made love to him."

Cloud laughed because he supposed that Sephiroth expected him to, but didn't find anything preposterously funny about the mental image, "And what about you? Is there anyone odd you've thought or dreamt about lately?"

This was Sephiroth's own face-to-face topic to talk about with Cloud, "... It wasn't a full-on sex dream, but the atmosphere was... totally inappropriate. I could smell him, and we were gettin'... just way too close. In the dream he kissed me, and I woke up with a stomach ache. It was fuckin' disgusting. But I talked to Genesis and it's no big deal, dreams don't mean anything –"

"Stop babbling and tell me a name!" Cloud squawked.

"You really wanna know? You can't unknow it."

"Yes!"

"You're gonna make me go to way more therapy."

"Tell me!"

"Vincent."

The screech Cloud emitted silenced the entire restaurant for several moments. He covered his mouth with both hands, and as soon as the conversations resumed around them, he whispered, "Sorry! Little bit scandalous!"

"Yeah. I've been considerin' going to therapy lately."

Cloud grinned widely, "You are going."

"I'm going to therapy. So your Skylar problem..." Sephiroth swiftly changed the subject. "He's lucky to be your friend. You're funny, easy to talk to, cool as hell... you're the fuckin' best. I doubt he wants to lose a friend as awesome as you over this crush bullshit. If he's not over it yet, he will be. And you don't gotta feel bad about anything. You can't help it if you're hot and people wanna jump your bones wherever you go."

Cloud let out a honk of a laugh as he returned to his food and used the last piece of bread to soak up salad dressing, "You always try to make it sound like my life is so saucy when you're away, but it so isn't!"

"Saucy," Sephiroth repeated in Cloud's accent and lilting voice, laughing a little to himself.

Cloud wanted to say he didn't sound like that, but some lies are too great to convince oneself of. He cleared his throat and spoke from a much lower place in his chest, "What about you? Aren't there any guys you thought about hooking up with, or might have dated if we never met?"

Sephiroth's mouth was full, "Not really."

Cloud was doubtful, "So surrounded by thousands of naked, shredded men who adore you everyday of your life, you'd just be alone forever and ever and ever?"

"I only like specific body parts, or certain aspects of people. Like if I coulda combined one guy's head with someone else's personality, plus someone else's arms – maybe. But a lot of guys aggravate me, especially SOLDIERs. I never really saw myself with someone 'til I met you."

"What kind of arms? You never said you were into arms. Big arms? Whose arms do you like?" Cloud hadn't heard anything after that comment, and was feeling himself through his jacket and already planning the coming weeks in the gym.

"Do you like guys more than girls?"

Cloud couldn't quite comprehend the sudden question, and began a long face journey through puzzlement, bewilderment, and apprehension.

Sephiroth paused to take a sip of coffee, "I mean like, bein' friends with them. Do you like girl friends or guy friends more?"

"Oh," Cloud blew out some air and already forgot to talk in his deeper voice, "Guys! There were like ten kids in the whole town who were even close to my age, and all of them were assholes. It's nice finally having friends who aren't my mom."

"I'd rather hang out with April than anyone in SOLDIER."

"Oh c'mon!"

"It's true. When I got back from the war it was like... a relief to be around women. My favorite thing is goin' into the cafeteria and there's a table full of chicks to sit with. They all slide over and make room for you, they can't wait to tell you gossip about people you don't even know. They're funny, they ask how your day is goin', they hardly ever talk about work - I love it."

If last night hadn't happened, Cloud would have just waved it off as Sephiroth liking to be the center of doting female attention, or perhaps a little residual sexual confusion, but it was so much more than that. Men in hazmat suits and lab coats had traumatized him since infancy. Why wouldn't he gravitate towards energy that was a little more nurturing and generous? Without even realizing it, Sephiroth was building a family for himself comprised entirely of lesbian moms.

Sephiroth saw something sad in Cloud's eyes, and quickly changed the subject, "I like your arms. You got just the right amount of veins."

"It's like I don't even know you! You like my arm veins?"

"If you knew what went on in my brain when I look at you, you'd be shocked. There's nothin' about you I don't get off to."

Cloud felt like a piece of meat in the best possible way! He cowered in coy shyness though and stuffed some more salad in his mouth, "You're so weird!"

"Did you plan to spend your life with someone normal?"

Cloud's eyes lifted, "Not at all."

"Didn't think so."

"... I have a hypothetical question for you," Cloud said. "Bit serious. Is there anything... I might do... that would ever make you mad enough to leave me? I don't mean cheating or trying to kill you or something obvious like that. But like... could I do something to make you angry enough to stop loving me?"

Sephiroth was incredulous, "I don't care if you try to kill me. You're supposed to. That's like one of the main parts of SOLDIER trainin'."

"Seriously. What if I did something you didn't want me to do? Or something you told me not to do?"

"Well, you can't ignore orders from me or anyone else. If you do, you'll just get progressively suckier missions until you learn... but that doesn't affect me bein' in love with you. Not at all. In fact, nothin' would bring me more pleasure than parkin' your sweet little ass safely behind a desk."

"What if I beat you to the lab and rescue that clone before you get the chance to kill him?"

"Yeah okay," Sephiroth snorted softly through his nose, and watched as a waiter brought a small, but very visually appealing piece of cake to a nearby table of two women. They each selected a spoon and slowly slid it down into the cake. As the spoons passed their lips, the expression that crossed both of their faces betrayed pure ecstasy. It was like watching a commercial.

Cloud was talking, "We were brought together for a reason, I think. Our life together should be about adventures, and facing things, and forcing each other to be the best versions of ourselves. Even if it might piss the other one off, or feel kind of uncomfortable... I know anytime you've made me face something like that, it's always made me a better person. Know what I mean?... Sephiroth!"

He'd been almost completely turned around in his seat the entire time, "What kinda cake you think those ladies over there are eatin'?"

"Seph!"

He turned back around, "As long as you're alive, nothin' you do is ever gonna piss me off so bad that I'm just gonna stop lovin' you. As far as hypothetical questions go, this one's fuckin' weak. Go ask those girls what cake that is."

"Just wait for the waitress to come back and ask her!"

"It'll be gone by the time she comes back," Sephiroth peered back over his shoulder at the quickly disappearing cake, then glanced up to see that the ladies were both staring back at him. "I think they know we're talkin' about their cake."

"Of course they do, you're not being discreet at all!" Cloud hissed laughter, "And your eyes are really glowing in this lighting, do you realize that? You're basically shining a green flashlight at them!"

"How is that my fault?"

"Shit, now they're waving at me to go over there," Cloud shook his head and pointed at Sephiroth. The girls shook their heads and pointed at him. "... Why are you getting me in trouble?"

"Why aren't you used to it?"

Cloud sighed and went over to talk to them. In less than thirty seconds, he learned the womens' names were Pepper and Imani, they were from Junon, it was their fourth anniversary and they were spending a long weekend together in Midgar, and it was tiramisu.

"Here," Imani said, and presented a spoonful to Cloud.

"Oh that's not-"

"Open your mouth."

Cloud gulped and looked at Sephiroth, who looked like he was having the time of his life. He then very sheepishly accepted.

"Mmmm!" Pepper smiled at him.

"... Mm..." he agreed.

Imani scraped a little excess off his lips and gave him the spoon, "Go share that with the big guy and tell him we're flattered, but not interested."

Cloud returned with bright red cheeks and a taste of their cake, and jammed it right into Sephiroth's laughing mouth, "Tiramisu. And they've shot us down."

Sephiroth pulled the spoon out and licked the back of it, "You're my favorite person ever. You know that?"

"Anything for you, dear," Cloud crossed his arms and plotted his revenge with a grin. The next time they went out he'd pick one of those family-type chain restaurants and lie that it was Sephiroth's birthday... and pay them extra to sing as loud and as embarrassing as possible.

Sephiroth was right about one thing – by the time the waitress came back the cake and the ladies thankfully were long gone. They were already late for the party, but they went through all the trouble of identifying the cake and being humiliated and rejected by lesbians, so they ordered it.

When dessert was on the table it was pretty hard to focus on anything else, and the conversation devolved into happy childhood memories related to sugar.

In Nibelheim, ice cream on a deep fried waffle was a secret menu item at the pub. The nice bartender would often fix it just for Cloud while his drunk mom and aunts fought with whatever men they were currently dating. In the break room at the Shin-Ra medical labs, Sephiroth snuck in to watch TV sometimes, and once in a while people would bring in communal donuts or birthday cake or other treats which Sephiroth would descend upon and inhale like a wild animal, sometimes out of the garbage.

It was gently reaffirmed that Sephiroth would begin therapy the following Sunday, and that Cloud would request to be seen as a new, separate client as well. It was handy, since they'd need to fulfill a little mandatory couples' counseling before they could get a marriage license in Midgar, anyway. If it was a counselor that already knew them both, all the better.

"Can I get you two anything else?" The waitress asked cheerfully as she cleared the dessert plate. "Are you sure you don't want to see the wine menu?"

"I probably won't start drinking wine until my early thirties," Cloud decided aloud, his tongue halfway out of his mouth and dancing with his straw.

"We're actually really late, we need to get out of here," Sephiroth told her, lifting his butt off the seat to retrieve his wallet. She took his card and was on her way.

Cloud sighed wistfully, "This was nice."

Sephiroth rested on his chin on his fist and indulged him in a boyish smile, "How'd I do takin' you on a date like a real boyfriend?"

"Very professional! We talked about feelings by candlelight... got made fun of by lesbians... this was a beautiful time," Cloud gazed all around the place before his eyes settled back on Sephiroth, "And now I'm super over it. I don't want anything from you but sweatpants and pizza until the day we get married."

"Thank fuckin' god."

Cloud giggled, "I just need one more thing to make today perfect... like to balance it all out and fully recover from everything yesterday and today... know what I mean?"

"Forced social interaction with the people we work with?"

"I'm talking about afterwards... don't you feel like we have some unfinished business?"

So this was what the hypothetical 'stop loving me' question was all about. Sephiroth really didn't want to hear that Cloud wanted to break into the medical labs tonight to rescue or otherwise bump off a clone. But he inhaled and invited it anyway, "I'll do whatever you want, baby."

"I want my bruises back."

"Huh?"

"You were right about having me figured out," Cloud slurped up his drink until there was nothing but ice in the cup.

Sephiroth's face was full of unguarded surprise as he processed what was going on, and he had to smile once it fully dawned on him, "Want me to rough you up a little, Strife?"

"Not just a little. I kind of look forward to school on Monday, because all the bruises you leave on me over the weekend come out. I can see where you held onto me... you always give me Cures when you see bruises, but I want them. Go fucking crazy on me."

Sephiroth's tongue moved over his teeth as he checked his phone, "It's nine now. Let's be back at the hotel by eleven."

"Ten-thirty," Cloud countered.

The waitress was almost back with the check for Sephiroth to sign, so he leaned in a little and whispered, "Just remember... you brought it on yourself."

Cloud held his eyes and forced a rude slurping sound as his straw sucked the bottom of his empty glass.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The President's house was a big, ugly compound. Cloud expected some baroque mansion with terrible taste, but there was no taste at all, just a sterile white cement box the size of Nibelheim. Where Sweet Pea made an attempt at romantic natural greenery, Shin-Ra Manor embraced a pure industrial aesthetic. There were no trees, no flowers, no fake grass, instead it was all vehicles, spot lights, angles, and cement.

"Do they actually live here?" Cloud asked.

"I don't think they live anywhere," was the quiet answer.

The inside was no more welcoming or warm. It was more like another branch of headquarters where people happened to live sometimes. The Shin-Ra family were nowhere to be seen, but Cloud recognized a lot of people from passing at HQ. He didn't know their names or what they did, but they were always around, kind of like Cloud was.

They didn't seem to be having much more fun than they did at work, either. There was no music, no gifts, no cake, no decorations, nothing to indicate a birthday was happening at all. There was a bar, waiters winding through the crown with trays of small food, and hushed conversations.

The annual Halloween party had given Cloud the impression that corporation functions were wildly fun. Apparently they were not. At all.

"You were right, this is the worst," he whispered up at Sephiroth. "Let's have one drink and then go."

"Why even have one? Let's find the brat, say happy birthday and then fuck off."

The bar seemed like the most likely place to find the birthday boy, and they indeed found Genesis sitting there with a martini. He was wearing almost the exact same thing Sephiroth was – his normal red leather pants plus a plain old black t-shirt. When you reach that level of hotness, there didn't seem to be much reason to dress up. But there was no Rufus to be found.

"Hi Genesis!" Cloud greeted and looked at Genesis' arm where a tattoo was poking from the bottom of his sleeve. "Ooh, I didn't know you had tattoos! Where's Rufus?"

"I'm a General, remember your place and address me as such," was the acidic response. So it was like that.

"Aww, he's in a mood," Sephiroth reached out and shook his shoulder loose. "Where's the fuckin' queen? We're tryin' to get outta here."

"Fashionably late to his own party," Was all he said about Rufus, and then proceeded to talk about boring work shit. About the Northern Crater, about the clone, about whatever. Sephiroth sat beside him and they did their work husband thing together. It wasn't anything emotional or juicy or interesting – he was using the word 'logistics' a lot, and Cloud was lost. More people joined in the conversation, creating a literal circle that Cloud was on the outside of until he squeezed his way in by leaning on Sephiroth's thigh.

"You can sit on my lap if you want," Sephiroth said privately against Cloud's hair.

"Just scooch a little."

Sephiroth scooted to the edge of his seat to share it, and slid an arm around Cloud's waist to keep him close. While he spoke in a casual, but still very work-oriented manner, his fingertips drew slow, warm circles where the top of Cloud's pants met his skin. Cloud didn't have the luxury of any skin access, but slid his hand over Sephiroth's thigh and gripped the edge of the chair between his legs. It wasn't so bad being bored when he had the best seat in the place.

They ordered a drink at the bar – Cloud asked for vodka soda and Sephiroth got plain whiskey. It took forever and the bartenders were really stingy at this party... there was barely anything but soda in Cloud's cup, and Sephiroth only got like a quarter of a shot's worth and a ton of ice. Cloud tried to remain alert and attentive and smile and agree and laugh when it was appropriate, but clearly nobody was talking directly to him and he had nothing of worth to add to this conversation. He wasn't even getting the luxury of having a buzz, either.

While someone else was speaking at length, Cloud murmured against Sephiroth's ear, "I'm going to wander around a little. If I see Rufus I'll tell him happy birthday so we can go."

"Even if you don't, enough people saw us. We can be outta here soon."

"Okay," Cloud agreed, unable to stop a little shudder of pure anticipation before it snuck up his back.

"'Kay..." Sephiroth repeated back to him, pressing a small kiss between his eyes.

As soon as Sephiroth turned his attention back to the conversation, Cloud smoothly lifted an entire unopened bottle of vodka off the bar, stuffed it into his jacket and slithered away. He had absolutely zero idea of where he was going with an entire bottle of vodka, he just wanted to look at what people were wearing and see how people with unlimited funding took a dump.

He spotted Vincent talking with some other Turks and considered saying hello, but couldn't muster the courage. But from afar and under the veil of a crowded room, Cloud indulged in really examining Vincent. He held too much contempt for how much he hurt Sephiroth to deposit Vincent in the spank bank, but god... he looked good tonight. There was pomade in his hair or something. And there were these little moments where the dry expressions he pulled, or how he stood, or how he drank from a bottle, or the length of his limbs, or the shape his mouth made while speaking... Cloud could see so much of him in Sephiroth.

Could an absentee, adopted semi-father figure really have so much of an influence on Sephiroth to affect the shape of his face? Or did Sephiroth imprint on him like a baby duck and just mimic him that well?

Cloud knew Sephiroth. Even in his sleep, even in his most unguarded and relaxed moments... could he always be mimicking Vincent a little bit? It didn't seem possible. This man had to be Sephiroth's father.

But Cloud also kind of hoped that Vincent wasn't. He longed for Sephiroth's baby. If he or she came out with red eyes and black hair due to some generation-skipping attributes, Cloud would simply have to give it up for adoption and try again.

A surge of heavy shame brought Cloud back to reality. If he was goddamn lucky enough to ever have a son or daughter with Sephiroth, Cloud vowed to love them twice as hard if they happened to have black hair. But hopefully they'd at least have green eyes. Or maybe a Midgar accent. If nothing else Sephiroth's child would definitely be able to pull off cute little baby faux-leather pants! Then they could visit Sephiroth at HQ and have little matching uniform photoshoots for Instagram...

Cloud's oscillation between the fantasy of being a stay-at-home army wife and the reality of the approaching SOLDIER exam sometimes made his heart just ache. How was it possible to want two wildly different lifestyles at once? Ah, the duality of man.

He wanted a real drink, and began a search for somewhere to be with his stolen bottle of vodka in private. He felt absolutely no shame in wandering around the house and just opening doors and peeking inside. He could always pump out a little extra accent and play dumb if he got into trouble.

Downstairs was boring, so up the staircase he went and nobody stopped him.

Upstairs he found a fancy library, meeting rooms, a ballroom, a room with a big telescope, several bathrooms with absolutely nothing in the cabinets and no bathing products in the showers, and a few sparse guest bedrooms that just looked like any nondescript, above average hotel room. What a boring fucking mansion. There was no taste, there was no style, there was no personality. Cloud had been spoiled by Sephiroth's interior design skill.

He was about to turn around and go back downstairs when he saw the only sign of life in the entire upstairs: an open door with a light on, and Ariana Grande playing. It had to be Rufus' room!

Cloud crept up the hallway towards the light. The door actually wasn't open – there was no door at all. It had literally been removed from the doorframe. He peered curiously inside, and saw Rufus lying on a bed in just his underwear, or maybe even naked! Cloud didn't look long enough to find out, he just saw a bunch of skin and lept back.

But he'd been heard. The music shut off abruptly and Rufus screamed, "I'm not coming!"

"... Ehm, hello? It's me."

"Who?"

"Cloud."

"Who?"

"Sephiroth's boyfriend."

"What the hell are you doing here?"

Cloud approached the doorway with a wince, looking all over the room instead of at Rufus. This family really loved brutal minimalism, but this seemed imposed. There weren't even drawers in the bureau or doors on the closet, Rufus kept everything he owned lined up and ready for inspection.

"Did they send you here to make me get dressed?" Rufus demanded.

Cloud finally had to look directly at him. He was up on his elbow wearing sunglasses, tighty-whities, and absolutely nothing else, "... No. The party's boring. Everyone's just talking about work, so I decided to wander around."

"You won't find anything stronger than aspirin in this house, trust me."

It would have been way cooler if he was looking for drugs rather than his own natural curiosity about how other people shat and what kind of deodorant they wore. Cloud lifted up the bottle he was carrying, "Will this do?"

"I suppose you can stay as long as you're alone."

Cloud didn't particularly want to, but he tiptoed further into the room, "Why don't you want to come downstairs?"

"I'm in mourning."

He perched one buttcheek on the very razor's edge of Rufus' bed, "Mourning what?"

Behind his sunglasses, his eyes were visibly swollen and reddened, and a tear slipped out, "The tragic teenage death that I'll never get to have."

Cloud was trying to peel the plastic thing off the vodka cap with his teeth, "Hm?"

"I always dreamt of dying in a fiery car accident or an overdose as a teenager. But today I'm… twenty. And sober. Every day is longer than the last one, and there's no end in sight."

He searched for a hint of a smile, anything to indicate this was just some dark humor. But Rufus was pale faced and serious. It might have been sad if it wasn't so pathetic.

"What are you even talking about?" Cloud laughed into a sip from the bottle. "You're twenty and rich and beautiful and it's your birthday. Happy birthday! Have a drink."

"Alcohol does nothing."

"Have two drinks, then. You can't possibly think turning twenty is a bad thing. I can't wait to be twenty! Shit, I can't wait to be thirty, forty, fifty, sixty..." Cloud grinned as he thought about the women in his family and the vitality they enjoyed. Probably too much vitality.

"What's so great about rotting alive?"

"You know yourself, life gets easier, and you give less of a shit about everything."

"You're a rube, and a fool."

A year ago that would have stung, but it just made Cloud laugh, "Imagine back to when we first met, I think we've both grown up a lot and are way cooler since then."

Rufus' face strained, "When did we meet? How long have I known you? Have we had sex? Are we related?"

"No to both those things!...We met last year. I was in Sephiroth's office, and you came in looking for Genesis. Then you took me to the training floor. You don't remember that? You had some sort of luncheon you were organizing."

"Sounds like something I would do..." Rufus' eyebrows were tight over his sunglasses. "Oh god, I'm already senile. I wonder how much of my life I just don't remember... did I at least look good?"

"Sure. But you were mean, not to mention super skinny. And now, you're..."

"Fat and old and sad and sober and boring?"

Cloud would never admit that Rufus looked damn good lying there in nothing but pristine designer undies. The bulge was soft and fleshy, and Rufus probably had a lot in the way of girth if Cloud had to guess based on the shape of -

He tore his eyes away and took another sip of vodka, "I think we're both the type of people who get better with age."

"I'm alone and nobody loves me," Rufus held out his hand for the bottle.

"Cheers to that nonsense!" Cloud told him and handed it over. "I think Genesis loves you very much."

"He despises me," Rufus gulped down vodka like it was literally water, and didn't wince at all as he pulled back and licked his lips, "... He might have loved me once... but he kicked me out and won't let me come back home. He says he works too much and he doesn't trust me in his place alone, so he pawned me off onto my parents when the summer ended. Now that I'm back home in their clutches they won't let me go anywhere! I don't even have a door! Do you know what this does to a man's self worth?"

"Y'know, my confidence slips and gets low all the time, and every single time he can, Sephiroth always -"

"No!" Rufus cried out. "Absolutely not! I don't want to hear about how you and that albino ghoul just love each other to little pieces! You know nothing about what it's like to be in love with a complicated man, so take your little pep talk and shove it up Sephiroth's cavernous ass."

Cloud really didn't want to laugh but he just couldn't help it, "What's cavernous about it?!"

"Everything. I'm sure he bends over and bats fly out," Rufus took three deep pulls from the bottle.

Cloud let out a long, rolling laugh. When he was finally composed he wiped his eyes, "Can I ask you a personal question? Don't get offended, though."

Rufus raised his chin defiantly, but gave in to curiosity, "What?"

"What do you remember about being like, thirteen?"

Rufus gave it serious consideration. "I was living with the cartel in Costa del Sol. Why?"

Rufus was sober for the first time in his life, so Cloud guessed that he might have been experiencing a dramatic teenage depression a bit late. Cloud knew that nothing he said was going to make Rufus feel any better. Maybe just listening was enough.

Active listening was hard because this was Rufus, but Cloud did his best, "Did you have... fun with the cartel?"

"Do you know what a coke den is like? I'm not talking some trap house in the slums, but a real executive coke establishment?"

His face said it all, but Cloud verbally answered, "No."

"It's amazing."

Cloud looked doubtful, but invited Rufus to keep talking with a shrug of his shoulders.

"I don't mean the drugs, I sincerely don't miss them. But I miss the life. I love guns and deals and hookers and celebrities and the screaming all night and the powerful men who would drop to their knees to worship me."

Cloud let out a silent scream into the vodka bottle, but came up to beg, "Don't tell me you were some kind of sex slave."

"Oh please, I was a boss in that place. And it wasn't about sex at all, it was about power. One time I made a hundred thousand gil just letting a certain CFO of a certain beverage company do lines off my feet. That's power."

"That's disgusting!" Cloud bellowed.

"Maybe to you, but I was happy. Then Genesis had to get involved, and suddenly he and his stupid friends are filling my head with all these notions of living my best life, and the honor of sobriety and made me actually almost give a fuck about the electric company."

"What's wrong with that?"

"They just want job security for when my father drops dead of his inevitable heart attack. Gen and I are never going to be partners. He's just my employee."

"Bullshit."

"My dad pays him, you know... it was called an 'influential overtime' bonus to pay attention to me, to be a good influence on me... and once we started to actually date, he started paying Genesis even more. You think me choosing to fuck some older guys was disgusting? I find the fact my dad pays Genesis a bonus to stay in my life way more disgusting."

"How much?"

Rufus' nostrils flared in rage, "Who cares!?"

"I dunno! That whole arrangement seems so weird. How did you even end up... like, dating?"

"Why are you so interested?"

"I'm nosy and bored," Cloud admitted. "And there's nothing interesting going on downstairs, believe me."

"I shot up for the first time at my dad's Christmas Eve party a couple years ago when things were at their worst – I didn't want to risk a nosebleed during the party and upset my mom. My best friend at the time fixed the needle for me, and since she and I had been doing coke together since we were kids we thought it'd be easy. Please Cloud, if you ever shoot up, don't have a novice hag prepare your first fix. Find yourself a professional who knows how to not kill people."

"I'll remember that."

Rufus didn't even notice the sarcasm, "Anyways, I went into a series of seizures, she freaked out and the first person she found was Genesis. They took me to a civilian hospital. He wasn't even going to tell my dad, but the hospital did. Then it was back to rehab again, and when I was released my father paid Genesis to be my friend. Then it turned into going to parties together even when he wasn't paid for it. Then we'd go out for dinner alone sometimes. Then I started texting him before going to sleep, and waking up, and then all day long. Genesis made it clear that he was not interested in a romantic relationship with a piece of proverbial human garbage like me, so we became strict fuck buddies."

"Uh huh..." Cloud hummed thoughtfully as he listened, perking his head a bit. He thought he heard someone in the hallway and was desperate for rescue from this conversation, but it was false hope.

"Of course every time I had a slip up it would turn into a huge fight and he'd swear up and down that our friendship was over and this was his chance to get away from me once and for all. Then somehow we'd find our way back, again. Then he'd try to date someone. Then I'd fuck whoever he was dating. We'd fight, I'd do more drugs and then we'd do it all over again."

"Hmm."

"He made me move back here so I can be under my parents' thumb, because I get depressed at this time of the year, and somehow being back here is supposed to make me feel better. I have no friends because of him! I have no social life! He tells me to find hobbies and make new friends! He tells me to go to work everyday! How can he expect me to live like this? I just want to die! I just want to -"

"Do you even listen to yourself when you talk?" Cloud finally erupted, "You're whining about being twenty and rich and not dead! You have a hot boyfriend who seems to literally just want the best for you, and you're whining that your dad pays him a little more – so fucking what!? It's probably just to make sure he can keep you in the life you're accustomed to! Your dad owns like half the money in the world, why not pay your boyfriend a little more? There's a hundred people downstairs trying to support you on your birthday and while it's not a high power coke den full of old disgusting perverts who want to use you, they're still here just to - "

Tears suddenly flooded from underneath Rufus' sunglasses. He took them off and hid his face in his hands, racked with sobs.

Cloud immediately shut up. Rufus continued to cry.

He capped the bottle of vodka and set it on the floor, and then tentatively put a hand on Rufus' shoulder. Subconsciously he expected Rufus' skin to be cold. On the contrary, Rufus was very warm, soft and human, "Hey... Don't listen to me, I'm just calling these things as I see them, I don't really know anything."

"It's not like I think you're right," he sniffed messily as he thrust his sunglasses back on. "... I have a crying reflex when people yell at me."

"Okay," Cloud murmured, intermittently patting and rubbing the same square inch of Rufus' bare shoulder. "Everyone downstairs is waiting for you to start the party. Why don't you just let them? It might not be your idea of a good birthday but why can't you just let them throw you a party?"

It wasn't anywhere close to a laugh, but it was a different sort of sound than usually came from him, "Do you ever wish... you could just stand up and walk away from yourself?"

"Yes," Cloud answered. "But you can't. Become someone you want to be around."

"I'm a twenty-year-old, sober, crybaby manchild living in my parents' house. And it's not like I can just go somewhere on my own. Did you know that there's an international treaty mandating that nobody in the Shin-Ra family is eligible for any sort of legitimate paid work – anywhere in the world? I can volunteer or offer philanthropy but because my dad decided to create his own fucking personal economy I can't even leave and making a living on my own if I tried. I could go back to the life for maybe another year before it finally killed me, though. Do you know how much money I could make escorting and moving bricks? I was good at that. I liked that. I never had to fuck anybody I didn't want to."

Cloud let out a long breath. "What if... you were good at being Vice President of the Shin-Ra Electric Company?"

"It's not a real job. Anyone will be happy to tell you that I do nothing."

"What do Vice Presidents of companies normally do?"

"I don't know!"

"Me either," Cloud agreed glumly.

"I just have to stay alive so our family doesn't lose control of the company when dad's fat, stupid heart finally stops."

"What about the Turks?"

"What about them?"

"If the Vice President doesn't do anything, why not get into their business? They do gangster shit, so you could do gangster shit. And I'm sure meetings and deals as the Vice President might be really exciting..." Cloud's voice dropped to a whisper, "... in certain ways."

Rufus whispered back, "... How?"

"Clandestine ways..." Cloud read the word 'clandestine' in a music magazine once. He'd been waiting his entire life to use it in a sentence.

The word had a similar effect on Rufus, who removed his sunglasses to reveal bright blue, heavily reddened eyes, "Keep talking, something's happening."

"Rufus, you're going to have to be much stronger than this if you're going to keep control of the company. You're going to have to become a real gangster badass. And only the most successful gangster badasses make it out of their teenage years, so... you're already doing pretty good. Now you're going to get up and put some clothes on, and go downstairs to your boring party!"

"... I'm almost there."

"Genesis looks really good... I tried to say hello and he told me to call him General..."

Rufus' eyes were bright, "I would like to hire you as a life coach."

Cloud laughed, "I already have a job training for the SOLDIER exam, but we can be friends."

"I'm more comfortable employing you."

"You literally already do."

"Convenient. Want a cigarette?" Rufus rolled over onto his stomach and began digging around in his discarded trouser pockets.

"Feeling better?"

"I'm feeling numb yet optimistic," Rufus lit up two very thin, very long cigarettes with his eyebrows raised. "It's a start."

"It's a great start!" Cloud accepted one and took a puff. It was putrid, but he smiled and held it daintily between two fingers and rasped, "Rufus, please tell me this isn't something narcotic?"

"You think anything like that would get into this house? No way."

"What is it?"

"You know those little mountain cats that eat and pass coffee beans and it turns into a super strong brew? When they digest and pass tobacco, the nicotine content becomes far more dense. It curbs chain smoking, it's better for you."

Cloud didn't move a muscle, "Is this a cigarette made out of cat shit?"

Rufus took a long drag, "It's fair trade tobacco that's been processed organically by the feline digestive system."

Cloud had never gargled vodka before, and it all shot straight up into his sinus cavity. He was in a world of pain as he rushed into Rufus' bathroom. It effectively wiped his palate of the aftertaste of cat shit smoke, but it took a few minutes of blowing his nose and rinsing his mouth out before he felt alright again. Rufus stood in the doorway, smoking and chortling as though this was a performance of some kind.

This man was never to be trusted, but there was something about Rufus that Cloud just admired. He sat on the toilet seat and watched him get dressed in a crisp white track suit, and then create a hairstyle just by running his fingers through it. He couldn't find a flaw in Rufus' face, his body, or his taste in all things. Brushing his teeth, putting in eye drops, rinsing his face, rubbing on some moisturizer, everything was done deliberately and gracefully. The only thing wrong with Rufus was his brain.

"I like your jacket," Rufus said while looking at himself in the mirror. "Those colors look good on you. You're a springtime."

Cloud puffed his chest out, wholly validated, "Thank you!"

"Outfit switch?"

"Do you really think this would fit you?"

"Cunt," Rufus turned off the bathroom light off and left, forcing Cloud to follow him.

Most of the gathering looked up at Rufus' arrival, and the true ass kissers broke out into a little smattering of applause as he descended the stairs barefoot and with Cloud trailing behind him.

Rufus and Genesis walked straight toward each other. It was more of a grab than a hug, but it looked natural to them.

"Happy Birthday," Genesis told him.

Only Rufus' eyes were visible, but it was clear that he was grinning, "Do you have a present for me other than this furious strand of herpes?"

"How can you tell my herpes from your herpes?"

For two mouths that could say the harshest things to one another, their lips became soft when they met. Cloud watched for a few heartbeats longer than was polite, wondering what he and Sephiroth looked like when they kissed, if they had such a lovely, intimate rhythm.

"I do have something for you outside," Genesis said, leading Rufus away.

Cloud was totally going to follow uninvited to see what Rufus' present was, but someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned to find Skylar of all people, which put Cloud into a slightly out of body experience. Especially since Skylar was wearing a fucking suit. It was dark green, and it complimented his Wutainese complexion and the hazel of his eyes to fucking hell and back.

"Fuck you with your dark green suit!" Cloud cried, "You look so good!"

"You too!" Skylar yelled, eying Cloud's outfit with similar envy. "Is this how you always look on weekends?"

"Not at all," he admitted with a small hug to his friend. "Jesus, I literally saw you yesterday. It feels like forever ago. I had such a weird night last night."

"Is everything okay?"

"Yeah. It's a crazy story, I'll tell you Monday - wait! Why are you here? Are you here with Angeal? Are you on a date?"

Skylar shrugged a little, "Kind of."

"What do you mean kind of?"

"I mean he invited me."

"And you dressed up and you're out, and it's a date! Where is he?" Cloud squinted and peered around, anxious to see what Angeal was wearing. He seemed like the kind of guy to wear a matching tie to Skylar's outfit.

"I dunno, I went to the bathroom and lost him."

"I bet he's with Sephiroth, let's go look!"

They went to the bar but Sephiroth was gone. They went to the buffet, didn't find him. They went to the bathroom lines, didn't find him. They wandered through yet another ballroom and were not surprised at all to not find him.

Then they went through massive doors to a garden outside, which seemed to be the cool kid zone. Younger members of the company were clustered in small groups on the stairs, or gathered at the outdoor bar, or sitting with their bare feet in the heated pool. The pool featured its own little cliff and a romantic looking cave to swim inside and presumably fuck. Like, why else have it?

Cloud finally spotted silver hair in the crowd; Sephiroth was sitting between Aerith and Zack on the stone staircase. There were heated lamps set up all over outside, and Sephiroth had taken his jacket off and had loosely tied his hair up with something pink. The way his shoulder blades pushed beneath his shirt was mouth watering.

"Go ahead," Skylar urged him. "I'm gonna find Angeal."

Cloud didn't mean to creep up, but Sephiroth tensed just a little in surprise when Cloud sat on the step behind him and slipped both arms underneath Sephiroth's to grab those shoulder blades into a hug, "It's just me!"

"Hey," Sephiroth turned his head and met Cloud in a small kiss. "Guess what? They're still havin' a baby."

"I knew!" Cloud sang, finally free from the burden of secrecy.

"Brat! You're not s'posed to keep secrets."

"I'm kind of amazed I managed it," Cloud admitted. "How'd he take the news?!"

Zack was opening a beer against his inner elbow, "Well, we finally told Sephiroth that he's gonna be a big brother, and that we're gonna love him just as much as we did before the baby."

"Which is not much," Aerith chimed in pleasantly.

Sephiroth leaned up to steal another kiss from Cloud, but pulled away abruptly the second he opened his mouth, "What the fuck do you taste like?"

"I know, isn't it awful? I found Rufus - I told him happy birthday by the way, we can leave whenever. But he gave me a cigarette to try and it was...!" Cloud looked into his lover's beautiful, curious cat eyes and couldn't bear to tell him the truth. "... this weird brand I never heard of."

"Tastes like shit."

"Yeah," Cloud had to agree. "Anyone have gum?"

Aerith had a huge selection in her purse because she was finally quitting smoking. Cloud chose spearmint and Sephiroth took cinnamon.

Zack was looking at Cloud with a certain depth in his eyes. "How you doing?"

"Good," Cloud answered, meaning it. "Really good. It's coming in waves though, the shock of how fucking weird life at Shin-Ra is. I heard that's normal."

"Oh yeah," both Zack and Aerith agreed.

"I'm sorry about the clone," she added. "I wish I could completely redo everything and make different decisions."

Cloud rested his chin on Sephiroth's shoulder, "What do you mean?"

Aerith's eyes flicked to Sephiroth, "Are you tired of talking about this?"

"Yeah, but he's not."

She spoke to Cloud, "The little guy came to my home. He was just looking for somewhere to stay or someone to help him. I called the Turks and thought they would just take him back to headquarters, I didn't know all this would happen."

Cloud was fascinated, "How did you know he was a clone?"

Aerith glanced at Zack, "Well... I'm only a civilian, but when you date a SOLDIER there are certain things you're told. Zack climbed his ranks so quickly, and he had his share of clones as well. So it's kind of... a... thing."

"Whoah! Did you ever see Zack's clones?" Cloud asked.

"Yes. It wasn't a positive experience. Clones are kind of... disturbing. And I just don't think it'll ever really work. But the little Sephiroth one that came to my house did seem a little bit different."

Cloud was gripping onto Sephiroth's arms, "Different how? What did he say? What was he like? What happened?"

"He's unhinged, but it isn't his fault. I gave him a sandwich and he went to sleep. I should have done more to make sure he was contained, or warn them to bring more reinforcements... I just should have done more."

"Honey, it's not your fault," Zack said, reaching across Sephiroth to take her hand.

Sephiroth gave no indication of moving, "It's not like you could have done anything if you wanted to."

Aerith let go of Zack's hand, and grabbed one of Sephiroth's. He was surprised, and tried to slide his hand back out of her grip, but she held it tight, "Let me."

"Wh -?"

"Shhh."

Sephiroth didn't continue trying to win his hand back, but slid his fingers through hers to let her have it at a less awkward angle.

The four of them were quiet for a moment, all eyes fixed to where Sephiroth and Aerith were touching. There was no sound at all except for the chewing of gum.

"Seph..." She sighed. "Do you have any girl names that you like? For the baby?"

"It's gonna be a boy," Zack interjected.

"There's two names I'd name my kids," Sephiroth answered, shocking all of them. "I'd name my daughter Duffy - that's Cloud's middle name. I feel like a girl named Duffy would be a bitch and that's exactly how I'd want her to be. I'd name a boy Damien, 'cause The Omen's my favorite movie and I'd want my son to be a total asshole."

There was a choking sound in Cloud's throat as he accidentally swallowed his gum, "Aerith I'll murder you if you use either of those names."

"I won't, they're all yours," she laughed. When she finally let go of his hand, there was noise everywhere. It was like they could hear every conversation in Midgar happening at once.

"What was that?" Sephiroth asked. "What the hell did you just do?"

"I read you."

"I didn't say you could read me."

"Well I did, so get over it."

"Read him how?" Cloud gasped, "Are you a psychic like Zack!?"

"No! The planet is full of strange and wonderful kinds of people. Zack's one kind. Sephiroth's another kind. I'm just… another kind."

"Zack," Sephiroth complained, turning his head to find a very rare, serious expression on his friend's face.

Zack wasn't smiling, "Listen to her, Seph."

"Okay..."

She pulled a lighter out of her bra and started to flick it on and off, "There's something I want to tell you... one day, sooner than you think, things will change for the better. You won't have to take so much medication anymore. But until then, take it like your life depends on it. I know sometimes you get curious and take less medicine in order to feel more... or life seems really good and you suspect that you might not need it. Please don't do that. That's so dangerous for you, Seph."

He was looking at Aerith and it felt like he was actually seeing her for the first time. He'd known her for years, but never saw how pretty she was... beautiful, even. "I know."

"Are you doing therapy?" She asked.

"Oh my god," Sephiroth lamented. "Please don't - !"

"He will be!" Cloud answered happily.

"I'll try it once," Sephiroth frowned over his shoulder.

"You'll need it. Once you start actually feeling, it's gonna be very difficult for a while."

"Feeling what?"

"... Everything," she said. "Even nice emotions are going to knock you out."

"This is so stupid. I feel stuff," he insisted.

"Just you wait."

"Should I be nervous?" Cloud interjected.

"Definitely not. Life will be so much better eventually. Someday this all will make more sense, but that's all I can really say right now."

"Why be mysterious about it?" Sephiroth asked with a dry laugh. "If you know so fuckin' much just tell me."

"All I know is what the planet tells me. That's all it says right now."

"So you are a psychic!" Cloud whispered while shaking Sephiroth's shoulder in delight, "You're a psychic couple! That's so cute! Do you think you'll have a psychic baby?"

"I'm not exactly psychic, but it is hereditary!" she laughed, embarrassed. "I can't tell anyone's future or past, but the planet knows everything and it can tell me things. When something unwanted is on the Earth, people like me help clean up and restore balance. My mother's just like me, we're -"

"Witches!?" Cloud gasped.

Aerith tried to share a dry look with Sephiroth, but he was staring at her with wide pupils. In fact, with Cloud on his back the pair of them looked so much like owls that she had to smile. It was kind of amazing that Sephiroth had so much innocence about these things. She hadn't known until she touched his clone and read it for herself; she always just assumed he knew that the planet was urging her to kill him or find someone who could... she kind of always felt like it'd eventually be Zack. She'd been forced to ignore the planet for the time being, which was pretty easy to do living in downtown Midgar.

But for the first time in a while, the planet seemed appeased. Optimistic, even.

"You can tell us if you're a witch," Cloud urged. "You can tell us anything. We're your friends."

"Are we?" Sephiroth inquired.

"We're your family," he amended. "And I just found out yesterday that clones are a thing. You being a witch is no big deal."

What the hell. She threw up a shoulder, "No point in hiding it anymore, then. I'm kind of a witch!"

Sephiroth threw a glance at Zack. "How many times have I said this?"

"Wrong context," Zack laughed into a gulp of beer. He loved when Aerith pulled this Cetra shit and was glad that everyone was finally on the same page. This was the most Aerith and Sephiroth had spoken ever.

Cloud was writhing in intrigue, "Can the planet tell you something about me next? Will I be a SOLDIER?"

"The planet doesn't really concern itself with mundane kinds of things," That was a nice way of telling Cloud he was a big fat nobody, but he wiggled his fingers in her direction anyway. She sighed and reached back to take his hand for a moment and was pleasantly surprised. This was why the planet was appeased - Cloud could get rid of Sephiroth if the planet needed him to. Aerith could see him destroying Sephiroth very, very easily, "... You probably will be a First Class SOLDIER one day. I guess you'd have to be."

"I FUCKING KNEW IT!" he bellowed. Sephiroth probably would have had a comment to add, but Cloud was nearly strangling him in his ecstasy. He realized a moment later, and smoothed down the top of Sephiroth's head with an apologetic kiss, "... Am I gonna be a hero?"

"You have the potential. Hopefully you won't have to - "

"Will Sephiroth and I have babies?" Cloud held out his hand again.

She took it for a moment, and then released it, "I really don't see anything else."

"Oh," Cloud frowned in disappointment, then his eyes lit up and he reached for her again, "Will I get any taller?"

"No."

"C-can you at least check?"

"Hey welcome back," Angeal said to Sephiroth, taking a seat on the stone steps in front of him. Following along was Skylar, Genesis, and Rufus who was holding a little black kitten! Or was it a puppy?

Cloud didn't know what it was but cried out in adoration anyway when it blinked at him, "What's that?"

"My birthday present," Rufus cooed, pressing kisses all over it.

Cloud and Aerith popped up to inspect it, and took a turn holding it. They then put it on the stone step and sat in a loose circle and let it go to whoever it wanted, and it was clear it already liked Rufus the best. The little kitten-puppy-demon creature basked in the attention until it started to pee a little bit on the stone steps. Even its' piss was cute, but it heralded in the end of the evening.

Genesis and Rufus said goodnight and went upstairs with their new baby, and were not seen again. The bathroom lines weren't that long at this point in the night, so those who needed to go queued up. It was super weird, but they had three ladies' rooms and three mens' rooms. Who the fuck had multiple gendered bathrooms in their mansion? Cloud gave up on trying to figure out how the Shin-Ra's lived.

Aerith played the pregnancy card and got ushered to the front of the ladies room lines, and disappeared. Cloud, Zack, and Angeal all ended up going in at the same time.

That left the two who didn't have to go all alone. Sephiroth was leaning on the wall, staring down at Skylar. He was only a couple of inches taller, but somehow worked any amount of elevation to his advantage.

Skylar met his eyes kind of, before diverting them to the floor, "... Are you gonna host a seminar any time soon?"

"One before winter break. Another one in the spring."

"Cool. Are we camping anywhere specific, or is there a theme, or..."

"VR – we'll stay at headquarters. I don't camp unless I have to."

True excitement brightened his face and he turned his body towards Sephiroth, "Are we gonna get to use the training floor?"

"Yeah. Cloud's comin' to both seminars, but he doesn't know it yet. If you want, I'll make sure you get a spot, too."

Skylar's face lit up, "Really? Cloud told me what it was like. Is it true that there's a pain program? Does it really feel real?"

"I never got my head cut off before, but I imagine what you feel in there is pretty accurate."

Skylar was beaming, "I can't wait!"

Sephiroth was smiling back at him, "Do you have anything you wanna say to me?"

Skylar froze. Several seconds passed before he sputtered, "... No. No, sir."

"Are you sure? I heard you said a bunch of shit to Cloud."

"I'm sorry I ever said anything. It's over, it was just this stupid, meaningless thing I blurted out. It was not his fault at all – I was just having a moment - he never did anything to ask for that – nothing has ever happened between us!"

"I know."

"I would never... purposely try to hurt Cloud."

"Cloud could beat the shit out of you."

Skylar was nodding with his entire upper body, "He has!"

"Listen, I don't care if you have a crush on him. You'll get over it, if you haven't already. But you're never gonna discourage him from bein' in the army or takin' the SOLDIER exam again. You're his friend and he cares what you think. So help him, or get out of his way."

Skylar felt like his heart was visibly beating through his shirt, "I'm sorry I said anything. I really shouldn't have, because I don't -"

"Just be a better friend. Don't try to knock his confidence about anything. Not about wantin' to be a SOLDIER, and definitely not about how I feel about him."

"I won't."

Sephiroth slowly lifted a hand and gently clapped the side of Skylar's shoulder, "Now that we're all over it, you and I are gonna be real good friends."

He tittered nervously at the contact, "I'm very afraid of you!"

"You'll get over that, too."

Cloud heard almost everything; he was hovering behind the door and waiting for the right time to emerge while also trying not to cry. He'd never heard someone stand up for him like that before. He hoped that the people he trusted spoke kindly about him when he wasn't around, but to actually hear it was almost too much. Skylar really was a good friend... he could have tried to weasel out of it or minimize it or even lie to shift some blame onto Cloud, but he didn't. And Sephiroth unfortunately had one really stupid, red-headed Junior Turk reason not to trust Cloud... but he did.

Sephiroth and Skylar were suddenly talking about music.

"If you're into lyrics, you just have to really sit and listen closely to his," Skylar was saying. "He's just like Taylor Swift - a poet."

"Sounds like a new favorite," Sephiroth agreed very enthusiastically. "I'll find it for the ride home so we can listen. What's his name again?"

"Lil Xan."

With a guttural cry of disgust, Cloud burst out of the bathroom pretending to wipe his hands on his butt, "Richest people on the planet and they don't have paper towels or anything! Let's get the fuck out of here and not finish any conversations!"

Sephiroth smirked at him, "That's the second time tonight I've had to con you out of a bathroom."

"You shouldn't stand directly in front of the door when you're eavesdropping, you can see your shadow underneath," Skylar added.

Cloud peered between the two of them and realized he'd been had, but didn't complain. If it took being mean to him to get the two of them to kindle a little friendship, he'd allow it.

They all reconvened just to say a brief final farewell. They'd all literally see each other again in less than twenty-four hours at their respective places of work, and didn't waste any time getting the fuck out of there.

Once they were on the way back to the hotel, Cloud leaned over and kissed Sephiroth's cheek. He kept kissing along his jaw, and down his neck. He tilted his head a little and sank his teeth in a little.

Once they were at a stop light, Sephiroth turned to pull him into a real kiss. Cloud slid a hand between his legs and felt the firm push of his cock through his pants, and the full, soft curve of his balls underneath.

Sephiroth's hips lifted a little bit into his touch, and smile against his mouth, "What are you doin'?"

"Getting impatient," Cloud whispered through more kisses. "I need you."

Sephiroth bite his tongue gently, "I know what you want, but I don't feel like playin' General and Cadet or whatever. I'm not gonna try to hurt you. I'm just gonna hold you down and fuck you."

"Mm! That's exactly what I want," Cloud purred, pressing little kisses all over his face while running his fingertips against the teeth of Sephiroth's zipper. "Just don't hold back... don't stop..."

Sephiroth pushed his tongue past Cloud's lips and then pulled away sharply, "Baby you're so hot, but what the fuck do you taste like!? What is that?"

Cloud fell back into his seat with a cry of frustration, "It's still bad, isn't it? I thought maybe the taste was just stuck in my mouth, I'm sorry! I taste like pure ass!"

"Absolutely not, ass tastes amazing. That tastes like shit that's been on fire."

Cloud tucked his nose into this shirt in an effort not to further pollute the air inside the tank, "Stupid Rufus and his fancy cigarettes! Absolute mood killer!"

"The mood ain't dead, just brush your teeth real quick. And for fuck's sake why would you take anything from Rufus?"

"Lesson learned," Cloud grumbled, and peered over at Sephiroth from inside his shirt. "... Really want to know what this taste is?"

"No."

Cloud decided to tell him after he'd brushed his teeth and gotten his way in the hotel room. But by the time he did, he was so blissed out that it was the furthest thing from his mind.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

Sephiroth's mood was bitterly sour the next morning. Facing the fact that Turks had had free reign of his apartment in the name of security was sobering. Cloud rushed in circles around him to do anything to lighten the mood.

He offered to drive, and went through the drive-thru at Dunkin Donuts despite Sephiroth's protesting. It wasn't enough to lift his mouth into a genuine smile, but Cloud would settle for filling it with coffee and donut holes.

They had a meeting that morning to go through everything with the security head of the Turks. His name was Tseng, and that's all Sephiroth would say about him because that's all he really knew about him.

"Why doesn't SOLDIER have a security head?" Cloud asked with a blueberry donut hole in his mouth.

"We got enough to do," was the blunt answer.

The door to the apartment was standing open, but instead of giving a view of the vast open floor plan and far off living room, there was a second door complete with an entirely new wall.

"They built walls?" Sephiroth asked in disbelief, pushing it as if he expected it to fall over.

The door opened and a Turk stood there. He was literally just a dude, the only remarkable thing about him was the suit, "We only brought in this one."

"I hate it," Sephiroth immediately decided. "I feel like I'm at work."

"You'll get used to it," Tseng said, and closed the door to stand with them on the outside. "Ideally we'd be giving you fingerprint entry technology but considering your situation that's probably more useless than not putting in security at all. Voice, eye scanning, key card - anything like that won't work for you. We decided on number entry, because you can give the number away if you're expecting people, and change them at your discretion. You can change it everyday if you want... and you won't have to tape anything underneath your mailbox..."

Sephiroth shrugged, "Fine."

Tseng stared at him. "Don't tape anything under your mailbox."

"Okay!"

The Turk gestured to the old front door, "Keep it, get rid of it, lock it if you want to, but it's really just a facade. We're referring to this new front entryway as a vestibule. The walls are virtually indestructible, I'd invite you to test that but for the sake of your neighbors, take my word for it. You've seen this stuff at headquarters, you know what they can withstand."

Cloud was looking at the large, dark monitor next to the door, "What's this?"

The Turk turned his attention to him, "Cloud, I'm Tseng."

"Hello," he said, and reached out to politely shake his hand.

Tseng didn't take it, "Put that away. I'm going to talk to you now, because this part concerns you. The temporary code is 000000 - six zeros. Go ahead."

Cloud did as he was told. The door unbolted, and the entire floor plan lit up on the screen, "Ooh!"

Tseng motioned at the floorplan, "This is a hell of a weird living space, and putting in some kind of video monitoring system - "

"No," Sephiroth interrupted.

"We didn't, but even if we wanted to - the amount of feeds would be insane... what is this place? Some kind of halfway renovated attic? There's literally fifteen empty rooms. Why do you live here?"

"Because a man like Sephiroth needs space," Cloud leapt to defend. "He can't be cooped up in some crappy, overpriced Midgar shoebox apartment, he has a creative, genius, beautiful mind. Empty space is like, pure potential that allows him to express himself through interior design challenges. Also this place is hide and seek heaven. No further questions!"

"Yeah," Sephiroth agreed and slung an arm around Cloud's shoulders.

"... Wow. We just wanted to create something that would immediately alert you to the presence of anyone in the place, while minimizing the intrusion on your privacy... to apparently play hide and seek. So we decided heat would be most direct way to show you who is in the loft and where they are," he pushed the door open and walked inside.

Cloud watched with amazement as a cluster of color appeared and was moving around near the entryway in real time, "That's so cool!"

"You'll only see this display after putting in the correct code and until the door is opened, and then closed. The display will turn off, and the heat indexes will disarm. It's very important to me that you understand this information is only for you and Cloud."

"You know I have a hard time with this," Sephiroth admitted, putting another donut hole in his mouth and offering Tseng the box.

"I understand," He looked in and selected a chocolate one, but took a bite instead of throwing the whole thing in his mouth. "In the unlikely scenario that you see a heat signature in the home that you don't recognize, there's a lockdown function that will trap them inside until backup arrives. And we built you a honeyhole."

Cloud burst into laughter, "A what?"

Sephiroth and Tseng were well used to this term and looked at each other for a moment, sharing a very short, but knowing glance. Civilian.

"A honeyhole," Tseng repeated, and pressed a button on the key pad. A secret panel slid open on the wall. "You can store anything in there you might need – weapons, materia, maybe emergency cash if you'd rather bug out than confront an intruder. It's your hole, put whatever you want in it."

Cloud could not not laugh at this suggestion.

"Alright, inside," Tseng snatched away the box of donut holes and gestured for them to follow.

Sephiroth winced, but relaxed once he crossed the threshold. From the inside, the industrial wall didn't look so much like headquarters. They'd even attempted to paint it to match the wall that used to be there, but instead of the dark mocha color, it was this disgusting latte color that didn't blend in with the other walls at all.

He was so distracted by the paint he hadn't even noticed that there was a monitor on the inside wall, too.

Tseng was showing it to Cloud while eating more donut holes, "The only camera we installed is out in the vestibule. If someone is out there, you'll be able to see them. We also put cameras on the exterior of the building, pointing in all directions. If something is going on outside, you'll know."

"There's lots of windows," Cloud pointed out.

"My next point," Tseng pushed a blue button on the monitor and every window in the apartment blacked out at once by a panel of the same material the wall was made out of. "We replaced all the windows in the apartment with the latest in treated bulletproof glass, but there's still vulnerability and this apartment is nothing but windows. So we installed these as an extra measure. If you need to lock down, might as well do it right."

Cloud was amazed, "It's like The Purge!"

"You hate those movies," Sephiroth said.

"I liked the one with Ethan Hawke."

"No you didn't. Nobody did."

"Okay, I just like Ethan Hawke," Cloud admitted.

"I can't be here anymore," Tseng gave Sephiroth the donut holes back, then pulled a printout from his coat, "Instructions for changing the door code, and a rundown of everything we did. They're working on an app for you to control it all from your phones, it should be done sometime next week. They might need to come back for tweaks and testing, if they do I'll give you at least eight hours notice. Say thank you for the excellent and speedy job we did, and will continue to do."

"Thank you," Sephiroth said.

"We did not look through your personal belongings or install anything that's not on the manifest."

"Prove it."

Tseng made less facial expressions than Sephiroth did, so Cloud wasn't sure if he was joking when he announced loudly, "You wanna talk some more about how we're gonna kill the President?"

Sephiroth gave a frown of acceptance, "... Alright, I kind of believe you."

"Go see Cissnea when you get a chance," Tseng said, walking towards the door.

"I'm gonna go tomorrow. She alright?"

"She's going to be fine. She's more worried about how you feel."

They didn't say goodbye, Tseng just closed the door behind himself and was gone. Cloud poked around on the monitors, and was able to get an outside view of him leaving, "... Central Commander Cloud Strife. I love it!"

"I hate it," Sephiroth sneered at the new latte colored wall. "I'm gonna have to go to fuckin' Home Depot and repaint this wall..."

"Let's go."

"Oh – not now. I'm just bein' a dick."

"Why not now?" Cloud checked his phone. "It's not even nine, yet. We can have this painted by lunchtime."

Half a slow smile curled up Sephiroth's mouth, "Really?"

"Of course," Cloud took the donuts from him and went to put them in the kitchen. "Can I have a power drill?"

"What do you need a drill for?"

"To make that vrr vrr noise," Cloud pulled his trigger finger in the air. "And I still need to put together that record shelf for my man cave."

Home Depot had a way different vibe than Ikea, and they found themselves lost in aisles and aisles of bathtubs and bathroom fixtures. Cloud still dreamt of the huge jacuzzi bathtub they'd had on their beach vacation, and fell in love with one that was almost exactly like it. But getting it to fit into the bathroom that was connected to Sephiroth's bedroom would involve a total remodeling and at least two weeks of contracted work.

"There's guest bathrooms in our place that aren't even started, yet. We could put it in any of those," Sephiroth tried to reason.

"That would be easier than trying to fit this into an existing setup," the Home Depot bathtub aisle guy said.

"To hell with guests, we need this in our bathroom," Cloud insisted while splayed like a starfish in the display model. "Get in here, you need the full effect."

Sephiroth got Cloud up out of the bathtub and took a brochure to think about it. Then they got the right paint color, and a drill for Cloud with all the accessories he'd need for manly future projects. They also found a little lamp and side table that would soften Central Command, and make it look less like something at headquarters. Home Depot was also the place for the manliest snacks, and they loaded up on beef jerky, hot peanuts, and Red Bull at checkout.

Soon the new wall looked like it had always belonged in Sephiroth's apartment. They ordered pizza, and Cloud took great pleasure in the novelty of monitoring the approach and departure of the delivery guy. But after eating, his butch energy diminished and he postponed using his new drill to put together the cabinet. He was too content to spend the rest of their Sunday on the couch with Sephiroth's head in his lap.

Cloud petted and scratched his fingertips through Sephiroth's hair for four entire episodes of Pawn Stars. Neither of them particularly cared for the show, but there certainly was something tranquil and hypnotic about it. Something better might have been on, but watching a bald guy from the Golden Saucer screw people out of money while educating them about niche antiques was exactly right.

During a commercial, Cloud whispered, "Were you annoyed by what I said about you to Tseng?"

Sephiroth smiled, "No."

"Once we get a little more of the place fixed up, we should do game nights. Like host an adult Hide and Seek League," Cloud covered Sephiroth's mouth. "Don't respond. Just picture it... finger food... beer... team shirts. And our team can cheat using the thermal screen!"

He considered that for a few commercials. Then he said, "We won't be on the same team, though."

"Why not?"

"It's not fun if we're not lookin' for each other. Gettin' to scare you when I find you is like half the reason I play."

"What's the other half reason?" Cloud laughed.

Sephiroth looked up at him, "Guess."

"Yeah... adult hide and seek too sexually charged. We need something less sexy, more friendly competition..." Cloud considered that for a moment, then it dawned on him, "Flashlight Freeze Tag League!"

"You might be onto somethin' there."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"Hey," Sephiroth said, poking his head into Cissnea's recovery room carefully.

"Close the door!" She whined, "You're letting in all the weird vibes from the lab."

Her hair was piled on top of her head in a messy little bun, and her eyes looked tired, but she was awake. The back of her bed had been lifted almost up into a fully seated position, and she was holding her phone in one hand. She was wearing black panties, a black sports bra and an enormous blue flannel. Her only accessory was a gigantic metal sling that was holding her injured arm in place.

"Sorry, you look so butch I didn't recognize you at first," Sephiroth came into the room and shut the door behind him. "Is this what your face actually looks like without makeup?"

"Shut up! I can't dress myself and the only mirror I have is my phone, I'm at the mercy of Rhonda and Elena. How are my eyebrows?"

He found a chair and pulled it up to her bedside, and assessed her up close, "They're alright for now. I was actually expectin' things to be gross."

"You missed all the gross stuff. But luckily I did too, I went into shock!" She gave him the rundown: "Took seven hours in surgery to reattach my arm, got the little cure, and I have to lay here for six weeks and not move it so it can mend before the big cure. Then physical therapy. I should regain eighty percent use within two years."

"You shoulda got a robot arm."

"Thank you! That's what I said! I guess corporate policy is to reattach limbs. If it heals weird or gets ripped off again, maybe then I'll get an upgrade."

"You got pictures?"

"You haven't seen any yet?" she began pulling up the gore on her phone.

Sephiroth had liked Cissnea from the day he'd met her at one of the balls that Mrs. Shin-Ra threw. It was long ago enough that he was there with his secretary Shelly, who acted as his standby date to all corporate events. It was mutually beneficial; he avoided getting set up with some poor girl that he'd ultimately piss off and disappoint, and she got to dress up and go somewhere fancy with her closeted boss. She was definitely among those who knew Sephiroth was gay before he did, and reaped the benefits of scarfing down bacon wrapped shrimp while he took his time figuring himself out.

In those days, a lot more of Rufus' socialite friends showed up looking to mingle with people who worked at the company. One was an actor on some stupid MTV show that Sephiroth had never heard of, and had made a pest of himself by zeroing in on Elena. He wouldn't stop asking her middle name, over and over, the kind of incessant berating only a cokehead could manage.

Elena was incredible at ignoring people, but Cissnea eventually tried to tell him, "Look, it's not happening. Just leave her alone."

"I'm just trying to have a conversation," said the actor nobody gave a shit about. "I don't know why she can't be nice. I'm being nice. I could talk to anybody, she's kind of blowing it. I think I'd rather talk to someone else, anyway. Maybe I'd rather talk to you."

Cissnea then placed her glock onto the table. "Whatever you do, don't try to grab this."

"What?" He'd laughed.

"Don't do it," she'd challenged. He tentatively reached for it, she gasped, "Don't! Don't you dare... you're so bad!"

"I am bad!"

After a few moments of them both giggling and him reaching for it and her chiding him until he backed off, he finally picked the gun up. And when he did, she easily grabbed it back from him and then shot him in the foot.

The injury was nothing a swift cure couldn't fix, but it made a pretty big mess figuratively and literally. The actor had left the party with a trail of bloody footprints behind him, and the mental image made Sephiroth laugh every so often. If the Turks had any reputation at all for being wild, Cissnea was certainly one of the biggest reasons.

Sephiroth looked through the gory pictures of her injuries on her phone. The fleshy, meaty tearing of limbs was nothing he hadn't seen before, and blood didn't really bother him, either. What did bother him was how Cissnea's small, pretty face was the color of cement. If he had seen just a photo of her face with no context, he'd assume she was dead. He sat with that thought for a moment, and felt renewed rage.

He glanced up. She was staring down at him.

"I'm glad you're okay," he finally said.

She huffed, "Of course I'm okay."

He handed her phone back, "You takin' some time off after the big cure?"

"Not if they don't make me. But once I'm up I'll be out on light duty babysitting Rufus for a while... I guess I'd rather be doing that than sitting here. Being in the lab sucks."

"Yeah," Sephiroth agreed.

She put her phone in her pocket, "So tell me about how you and Vincent spent like a week at the Crater processing evidence! Describe the look on his face when he realized it was the stupid clone all along and he totally overlooked the fucking obvious."

"He looked like this..." and Sephiroth didn't really do anything that could be described with words, but his posture shifted and he held his jaw a little differently. His eyes bugged out and narrowed at the same time. Somehow this subtle change thoroughly channeled Vincent Valentine in a moment of pure shock. Her shrill laugh made him drop his shoulders and return to normal.

"I wish I could have been there," she sighed, then noticed the bag Sephiroth had brought in and sat up straighter with a growing, manic grin, "Ooh, what'd you bring me? Is there a sympathy card for dismemberment?"

"I wasn't totally sure if you knew how to read, so I thought you might like somethin' edible."

A little touch of meanness made her grow even more excited, "Did you bring me a cake that says 'Gotta hand it to you' or 'Congratulations on how you handled that clone'!?"

"I'm really unprepared with the amputation puns," Sephiroth admitted as he took out an ordinary key lime pie. "Elena said you like this."

"My favorite! Aww, you brought plates and spoons and everything, this is so thoughtful!" she held out her hand to take it.

He hesitantly balanced the container on her outstretched hand, uncertain of when to actually let go of it. But she was able to take it and slide it neatly onto a rolling table nearby and pull it closer.

"I gotta say, I'm a little disappointed," she was fighting to peel back the price sticker with her nails and open the box with one hand. "Out of everybody, I was counting on you to actually have a sense of humor about this."

"Look, Cissnea -"

She recoiled at the soft tone, "Please don't say anything serious to me. Elena cried for days, everyone's been so nice, but I can't take that shit from you just because it was your clone and you might feel a little responsible. I refuse."

"Don't be a cunt, just let me say somethin'."

"Alright," she begrudgingly agreed.

"We don't see each other that much, but I want you to know that you're not just Elena's girlfriend, you're my friend. I always thought you were a kickass Turk, too. But I was wrong... you are, without a doubt... the shittiest Turk ever if you got your ass handed to you by a little kid."

"A pun!"

"C'mere," he leaned into a hug, careful of her injury. He'd never hugged her before and he was surprised by how tiny she felt. She was a fraction of Cloud's size.

After a brief bit of contact, she became busy trying to cut and serve the pie. Sephiroth forced himself not to offer help, but instead let her take her time cutting a couple of pieces with a plastic spoon and accepted a plate, "... I've never had this before."

"You'll love it," she sighed, lingering over the first bite before quickly eating more.

He stuck his spoon into the gelatinous green cream and left it there, "Let's talk vengeance."

"Yes finally," she hissed. "Elena already tried to bump off the clone, by the way. She couldn't get to him. You can."

"I can," he agreed, taking his first ever bite of key lime pie. It took a lot of effort not to spit it right back out.

"I want you to rip both his arms off."

Sephiroth struggled to speak through unswallowed, tangy goo, "Can't."

"Why not?"

There was a bottle of water nearby and Sephiroth quickly helped himself to a sip to force the bite of pie down. He shuddered a little as he felt it creep down his throat, tingling all the way, "... Cloud has dibs on the manner of death. Quick and painless."

"Boo! Boring!"

"Maybe, but I'm gonna do it right now so at least the job's done."

"Really?"

"Of course."

Her pretty little face grimaced into a woman's very specific expression of overwhelming emotion, "... You're the best. Come back after you're done and tell me everything."

"I will. Here, finish this," he grunted, handing her his plate. "How can you eat this shit?"

"I guess it's an acquired taste. Like pussy."

Normally that wouldn't have fazed Sephiroth but with the tang still in his mouth he seized her water bottle again and drank the entire thing in three long gulps. Cissnea might not have gotten a joke card or cake from Sephiroth, but this was far more hilarious than any of that might have been.

Sephiroth left her in the recovery wing, and made his way to the clone compound. It was late and the place was mostly empty, but a few lab techs were still making rounds. It was easy to avoid them after a lifetime of perfecting his sneaking technique, but one was sitting right next to the compound door, busy writing in a notebook.

He lifted his head and pushed his glasses up his nose, "Oh, hey Sephiroth."

"Hey," Sephiroth knew his face, but not his name. "Don't worry about me, I memorized all the codes."

"Looking for anything specific?"

Sephiroth was typing in the code, "I'm just in the mood to kill a clone real quick."

"The new organic one?"

The door unlocked and opened with a noisy mechanical whir, but Sephiroth didn't enter, "... What's that mean?"

The tech had already withdrawn back into his work and lifted his head again, "We didn't make the new one. We don't know where he came from, he won't tell us."

"Weird."

"Yeah," the tech agreed.

Sephiroth took a step through the compound door, but then returned to his original position, "You're not gonna try to stop me?"

"It's no use. People have been trying to kill him since he showed up. A few different Turks because that little girl got her arm ripped off, a SOLDIER because his dad got murdered at the Northern base, and all the other clones because of some sort of hive mentality and they don't recognize him as one of their own. I figured it'd only be a matter of time 'til you showed up."

"Why?"

"Aren't you the queen bee?"

Sephiroth rolled his shoulder, "I'm just gonna go kill him real quick, then I'll be outta here."

"He's not in there. He can't be around the other clones, they keep trying to eat him. He has a room, I could take you. Though you should probably look like you're forcing me, for the cameras."

"Okay," Sephiroth grabbed the tech by the collar a little more roughly than he really needed to for theatrics.

"Hey, easy! Is this for calling you the queen bee?"

"Maybe," Sephiroth answered, shoving him along. "How come you're helpin' me?"

"I don't like this new clone, either. He's messing with our data, creating a lot of problems. The big guys put in their eight hours but we're here all night trying to make sense of this thing. If he's dead we can just make something up."

With the tech's guidance, they arrived at the room the new clone was being kept in.

"Open it," Sephiroth said, shoving the tech's face against the door. "Thank you."

"Anytime," was the muffled answer as he typed in the keycode.

It was a very small room, just a bed and some minimal monitoring devices that were tracking the clone's vital signs.

But it was full of people. It took Sephiroth a long time to realize what he was seeing.

Cloud was there. He was wearing a paper crown from Burger King. He was sitting on the floor, burger wrappers spread out. He had been just about to eat a french fry, and his mouth and eyes were wide open in surprise.

Rhonda was on the floor, too. She was eating what passed for a salad from Burger King. A cherry tomato was on the end of her fork, also suspended in front of her open mouth as she stared at the sudden intrusion.

April was sitting in one of those lab folding chairs with one leg crossed over the other. It looked like all she got from Burger King was a milkshake. She was sipping it, rolling a Zippo between two fingers while staring up at him.

Doctor Hojo was there. He didn't have any food, but he was holding a Styrofoam cup of Burger King coffee.

Vincent was there. He was sitting on the tiny bed. He had an unlit cigarette behind his ear and was in the middle of squeezing one of many tiny ketchup packets onto a cheeseburger.

And then there was the clone. He was sitting on the floor beside Cloud with a paper crown on his head, chewing a child's burger with a wide, manic smile that read as victory. Sephiroth had a pretty good idea what to expect from it in the way of appearance, but for some reason the proximity to literally everyone he considered family made the little child uniquely loathsome.

Dr. Hojo raised his eyebrows at the lab tech still in Sephiroth's grip, "Kyle?"

Oh yeah, that was his name. Sephiroth released him, and the lab tech stood up, "He forced me."

"Mm-hm," the doctor sipped his coffee, either not convinced or he just didn't care.

"Can one of you say something?" Sephiroth finally blurted to the people there who mattered. "Cloud? What the fuck is goin' on here?"

"Seph..." Cloud brushed the fast food salt off his hands and stood up. "We need to talk. A lot's happened today."

Sephiroth's expression was thunderous rage, but what came out of his mouth was, "... 'Kay."

Maybe in an attempt at levity, Cloud gave him a wide grin, "Before I start, I would like to remind you that you said there's nothing that I could do that would make you mad enough to stop loving me!..."

Sephiroth felt like his entire body was sinking into the floor, "What did you do?"

"I fixed everything."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A/N

1 – A major thank you to my beta reader stavoskreskas for all his help! He gave me a lot of confidence to post this since I've been looking at it forever and it literally looks like word salad to my eyes at this point.

2 - Hello again friends! Thank you for waiting so patiently for this latest chapter! Of course I've already begun on the next chapter but this seemed like a good place to stop and take a rest. LOL this is my first update in like two years, rest?! Well, it's like a billion pages, I have to stop sometime.

3 - I just got done with grad school for sCuLpTuRaL aRt. A very expensive and devastating way to torture yourself for two years if you're interested. Life was busy and awful and I cried in front of mean strangers A LOT, but as usual I had Blonde Ambition open nearly everyday to look at it. Sometimes type a word, or get rid of a word. Mostly just looking at it.

4 - This clone is a problem in every way imaginable. I had other plans, LOTS of other plans but to tell you the truth my heart couldn't take it. It could barely take this, haha. Like my heart is literally so broken for Sephiroth all the time, since the early 00's when I first played the game. I don't like angst but there's no way to get around it sometimes. It's like... I have to stay here until the story is all told, so what universe do I really wanna live in? And who can best handle the emotional burden of what happens to this clone? Whether he lives or dies people are going to be very unhappy. I guess I feel like Sephiroth can take the burden of not getting his way better than Cloud.