Standard Disclaimer:  Don't own 'em, wish I did.  Okay so I had these lines and then I saw the challenge and it seemed to fit. Then I was watching the news and figured Ranger could be involved in the hostage rescue, so there you go: a challenge response.

Warning for Language, Adult Content and maybe smut, although I was told previously the sex I write is not technically smut; but still I hope it is HOT! (Hey, I know I'm not 16, but I still know what hot is….)

SUPER THANKS to Kate (MMO) for her expect Beta/Editor abilities. 

"I love you more than you will ever know."

"Why?"

"Why do I love you?"

"No, why will I never know how much you love me?"

Show Me   by Suzanne

Trish's "Tell Him" Challenge

I knew it was coming, it had been three years. I was there right after they were taken and I had failed. New intel had just been received and the call went out for me to take my team back in.  I was going to Columbia to rescue three U.S. military contractors, former presidential candidate Ingrid Betancourt and 11 others held captive in the Colombian jungles.  I would be gone for months, if I even made it back at all.

Our mission's success hinged entirely on achieving a near-total breakdown in communications between the isolated guerrilla jailers and their commanders.  Years of intense U.S.-Colombian military cooperation had seriously weakened Latin America's last major rebel army. The rescue had to be expertly choreographed. The new information on the whereabouts of the hostages came from the escape last year of a Colombian who had spent time in captivity with the three Americans and Betancourt. They wanted me to go back in, infiltrate the guerrillas camp and bring them out.

I had the usual personal things to take care of before I could leave: update my will and letters to my family, make arrangements for supervision of the RangeMan offices, and see Stephanie.  The will was easy; my attorney was kept up to date on changes in my assets, personal and business holdings.  The running of RangeMan would be a little more difficult because Tank, Lester and Bobby were going with me.  This mission required flawless execution, and I wanted the men I trusted most with me. I had decided to pull in the XO, Mark Dawson from Boston to oversee Trenton, his second in command could )handle things in Boston and because the two locations were only a couple of hours apart, Dawson could commute if he had any issues that needed his attention. The last item on my list was the most difficult. Stephanie.

I hated to leave her, not because she needed me but because I needed her.  She had become a fixture in my life. For the last few months even if I did not talk to her everyday, I made certain I at least got to see her. She did not always see me, but I saw her. 

Tonight I wanted to just take in the sight and smell of her, feel her near me one more time.  I drove to the utilitarian building that was her apartment. Standing in front of her door, I hesitated. "Steady Soldier." I commanded myself, "Getting in is the easy part, leaving is the bitch." Silently, I put the pick into the lock and let myself in.  I stood taking in the sounds of the little apartment.  I loved the feel of her apartment. It was just like her, open, friendly, in total chaos, yet welcoming and relaxing. Rex was standing guard in the kitchen and gave me a quick once over as I passed by.

Once in her bedroom, I relaxed as I listen to her deep, even breathing. Peace. I just needed to stand there for a few moments and draw on the comfort being near her as she slept brought.  She calmed my soul, and it could be a very long time before I could feel at peace again. 

"Ranger?" she whispered, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

"Babe, go back to sleep."

"What are you doing here? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm leaving for while.  I've got something I have to do in South America. I just wanted to see you before I left."  That was odd. I never told her where I was going before. The surprise on her face at my admission was apparent, her senses perked up, her mind was processing the question of whether it a big deal or not.  I could see on her face the moment she decided:  not big, HUGE. 

"How long before you have to leave?" 

"0600" She looked at the bedside clock. It was midnight, or as Stephanie would say in RangeMan speak. 2400 o'clock. 

"You have a few hours, why don't you get some sleep?" And she pushed back her covers in an invitation.

"Can't."

"Okay."  Lowering her head, studying her hands on top of the covers, not sure what to say next.

I stepped over to the bed and sat on the edge.  I took her face in my hands and brushed my lips across hers lightly, then moved my hands to her hair and deepened the kiss. My lips devoured her mouth as my hand press her head more firmly to mine. I couldn't stop the moan that escaped as she grabbed the front of my shirt with both hands and pulled me to her laying us back into the bed.  I leaned into her and started to stretch out on top of her.  I wanted to press her into the mattress and feel her wrap her legs around my waist.  I wanted to hold onto her hips as she pushed them up to mine. My head was ordering 'No, get it together, Soldier, you've got a job to prepare for. You have go. Now!'

Straightening quickly, I pulled her hands from my shirt, stood and turned to walk out the bedroom door.  I was going to walk out. Just like that, with her kiss to keep me warm while I was away from her.

"I love you more than you will ever know." she whispered. I stopped in the door way and turned back to face her.

"Why?" I asked.

"Why do I love you?"

"No, why will I never know how much you love me?" I stood there, arms crossed over his chest, legs spread, staring into her eyes.  My stance was defensive. I knew the answer; knew what she would say.  Why was I torturing myself by making her say it?  I should have just told her that I loved her too and walked out the door. That would have been enough to get me through the next few months.

She heaved a big sigh.  "Tell him. Tell him" she said in a whisper to herself giving herself a pep talk.

"Ranger, you will never know how much I love you because you will never allow me to show you." She answered, holding my gaze. 

My chin dropped to my chest. I could have sworn my chest move in a big sigh, if I had been a person who sighed.  I couldn't help thinking, 'Why me?' and 'Why now?'. I didn't want her feelings for me to cause her more pain.  Here I was leaving for a mission that would take God knows how long and had the very real potential for capture and a strong possibility of no return. I had waited so long to hear her tell me she loved me, but right then was probably the worst time I could have heard it.

"I'm sorry, Ranger. I guess that's not what you wanted to hear before you left."

"Shit." she mumbled, "I'm such an idiot.  He only comes to see me when the missions he's  leaving for are really scary, otherwise he would just call and tell me he had to be 'in the wind' for a while and call Tank if I needed anything.  This one must be scarier than most for him to drop the location.  Okay, not the specific location, but he did tell me the continent." She didn't realize she was speaking out loud. 

"Babe."

"I just…." She started to explain.

"Show me." 

"What?" 

I know but it caught her off guard. She was expecting the whole 'I don't do relationships thing'.  "Show me, Babe."   Even if I only have this one time, I needed her to show me.

TBC…….