Rating: M

A/N: Warning: Abuse, drugs, rape.

This one's been in my head for a while; so I'm putting it out there… It's from Roxas' POV.

Reckoning

"Don't worry, honey, the storm will eventually pass and everything will be all right."

That's what my mother used to tell me as she held me close whenever I used to get scared or upset as a child. It always calmed me down and made me feel safe. Unfortunately for us, the biggest, scariest, and most disastrous storm never passed. It just got steadily worse as my father's addiction grew.

-

"Come on honey, we need to leave before your father wakes up," my mother said, dragging me with her. "Why are we leaving daddy? I asked, confused. "Because it's not safe with daddy anymore honey," she said.

I knew she that was crying, even back then. It'd taken a lot for her to get the courage to leave the man she loved, but she knew deep down that it was for the better. Like she'd said, it wasn't safe anymore to be around him, so she'd packed a bag gotten me and we were on our way to leave for forever. We got as far as the front door before he woke up, enraged when he caught us leaving. He killed her that night, right in front my eyes and I couldn't do anything to stop it. I was only six.

After that, my father had made sure that escaping would be very difficult when he put bars on the windows and always kept my door locked out of paranoia. He couldn't let me let people know that he'd killed his wife after all, now could he?

--

10 years later:

"Take it you fucking ungrateful little whore," my father said, slapping me when I refused to take some pills he'd been trying to force me take. I winced, but it wasn't because he'd slapped me.

He was pissed at me mostly because, shockingly enough, I'd tried to escape again. I'd been trying to more and more ever since I'd turned sixteen, and he always got abusive when I tried to run away. God forbid the only thing he had that someone considered being worth something get away, since he didn't have any money after all and still needed to fuel his addiction somehow. This had been a common scene for us ever since my mother and I tried to leave... me trying to escape, him beating the crap out of me for it, then taking me and going for drugs. What a glorious cycle. But like I said, I'd progressed lately because I'd been attempting to leave more and more.

It's not like there was anywhere I could go, no, but I still wanted to, no needed to leave, even though I was reminded quite frequently that nobody wanted or would ever want me in the outside world, besides those people, the ones that ran gangs and used me.

I shook my head, trying to push them out of my mind. I didn't want to think about them, I hated tham all. I had to focus on trying to escape I always had to try; that's what I kept telling myself. Even though it won't be easy and I might never succeed, I still have to keep trying. The very slim possibility of escaping was all that kept me going anymore…

--

My father always kept me locked away in my room ever since the day he killed my mother. That is of course, unless he had to feed me or like now tried to make me take something weird before taking me with him to do 'business' with those people to 'calm me down' or make me 'relax and forget'. I vaguely remember hearing him mention Rohypnol or ruffies or something once when he'd traded me for drugs to say what I was on. Yes, when I say 'traded' I mean he would give, no, still gives me to people for drugs for the day and let them do as they please to me. Like I said, he doesn't have any money. I honestly wish he did.

My father has had a serious 'problem' for my entire life, being that he's addicted to drugs. Heroine? Cocaine? I'm not sure exactly. I haven't had much time to think on it, since I'm usually drugged up on something so I 'behave'. Whenever I even have my thoughts halfway back together, I concentrate on trying to escape. Sorry, but I don't really like being gang-raped when I'm traded for drugs…

--

"Take it Roxas," dad said warningly, "or I'll inject you with something far worse."

I felt myself shake at those words. I knew that they were a promise, not an empty threat. He was far too desperate already. I'd heard him raging around downstairs all day yesterday and the day before. He was obviously out of drugs already. Being injected by him with something was far worse in my opinion than swallowing something, so I decided to comply.

Slowly, I began to raise the glass of whatever I was supposed to take the drug with to my lips. I knew it was that drug from before, the second it entered my mouth. That's the only drug he'd ever give me with alcohol. He was definitely going to trade me for drugs again.

I nearly wretched at the thought, wondering who would rape me this time...

--

I don't really remember much after that, just bits and pieces, like always. That's the effect that the drug has. I know that dad carried me to the usual place where he does his transactions, since I couldn't walk normally.

My clothes were different. He must've changed them for me. Can't have me looking bad when I'm handed over now can he? I'd still be in the clothes I was raped in last time if he hadn't changed me. 

Next… I remember being handed over to some creepy guy; one that'd raped me before, I could tell even though my vision was beginning to blur. I knew that he was the leader of the gang dad was dealing with and shivered in his arms as soon as he touched me. I could see the lust in his eyes.

I went instantly cold as the drugs exchanged hands. I didn't even realize that I'd started screaming hoping that someone, anyone was close by, until my father turned around and slapped me so hard that I nearly passed out.

"Be good for Vexen," I heard him say, though my head was pounding. "He promised to be gentle if you behave."

I tried to scream again as he turned to leave and Vexen dragged me inside, but this time, to my complete horror, no matter how hard I tried to scream, no sound would come out. My voice had completely failed me.

--

It's hard to remember all that happened next…

I remember being shoved against a wall, him kissing me hard, then possessively as the room began to spin and I felt nauseous. Next… I was gently forced down onto a bed. It wasn't like he had to be forceful, since I couldn't really resist anyway, because the drug had already taken effect... I remember flashes of him touching me, taking off my clothes… Under different circumstances, I would've questioned if this were real, if this could really be happening, since it was all blurred together, like a dream... Unfortunately, it'd happened so many times already that I couldn't even if I tried.

I felt… so dirty when he touched me, when he came inside me… hammered into me again and again, making me cry out. The drugs made it easy enough for him to do it, since they forced me to relax. Much to my relief, it didn't last long at all for me and I saw nothing when I blacked out soon after he started. Sometimes I was really grateful for having that drug. It allowed me to not remember everything.

--

When I came to again, I was alone, only covered with a blanket, feeling sticky and gross. I could still feel that man's touch lingering on me. It felt absolutely disgusting. I wanted so much to wash myself off.

I immediately tensed but remained where I was when the door opened and Vexen came back inside. Normally my dad would've come back to get me by the time I'd woken back up and the drug's effects were gone. He wasn't there though.

Vexen smiled at me when he saw that I'd awakened, as if he'd never done anything to me before. It made my skin crawl.

"Are you feeling better? The drug's effects should be gone now since you've been asleep for about a day," he said, sitting next me and running a finger along my lips. I bit him hard. He winced, jerking his hand away, before slapping me. It wasn't nearly as hard as dad would've hit me. "I could have you killed for doing that," he hissed at me, gripping my hair. I lay docile until he let go.

"I'd rather you did," I said softly, staring at nothing in particular. I was surprised that I could use my voice again, "I've wanted to die for a long time."

If he heard what I'd said, he chose to ignore it. "You will be staying here from now on, rather than having your father drag you back and forth. We worked it out so he can still have all the drugs his little heart desires, as long as you stay here," he informed me.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I don't want anyone to touch you except for me," he said, tearing the sheet away from me. I looked up at him wide-eyed when he held my hands above my head. "And I want you to remember everything I do to you. That means no drugs."

I looked at him horrified as he began to take off his pants again and started to writhe and kick underneath him. He said something to me, but I couldn't hear it over my own screams as he penetrated me over and over again. I begged for him to stop, feeling tears stream down my face, but he only rammed into me faster and harder as a response.

I felt myself shudder violently when he came inside me.

He remained inside of me, even after coming. I felt tears continue to stream down my face and sobbed audibly as he kissed my neck and pulled out. Out of all the people who had raped me, I hated him the most. I always had.

He put his pants back on and bending over, picked up my clothes, tossing them at me. "Get dressed Roxas," he said, smiling again like nothing had happened, "We're going out."

--

A/N: Sorry if anyone likes Vexen… I really don't.

Review to let me know how I did/ if you want to know what happens next? Don't worry; I'll still be updating The Boy Next Door regularly… I just wanted to write this more.