Only Wanted, a kung fu panda fanfic

Author Note - This is a songfic to Only Wanted by Stellar Kart. I thought it fit how Shifu might feel about Tai Lung based on the dialogue during their fight. This is supposed to take place between the time Oogway ascends and Shifu walks in on Po's imitation of him. Now, I don't really remember the ascending scene a whole lot, so if there are any inconsistencies or time lapses based on my own error, so sorry! Also I don't actually like writing songfics unless the song strikes me so strongly thus my songfic skills are pretty rusty.

Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own Kung Fu Panda. I also don't own Only Wanted.

Shifu sat under the Peach Tree of Heavenly Wisdom staring at the night sky. Oogway was gone, his only hope was a panda in which he himself struggled to believe in, and the one person he had treated like a son for so long was on his way to destroy the village and break his heart yet again. Oogway had been right. He needed peace more than anything, especially now.

As he looked at the stars, his mind wandered back to his younger self. He thought of how life was when Tai Lung was still just a young cub, making him proud as everday went by. "Perhaps too proud," Shifu sighed.

I watched you growing up
living out the dream I had in mind
until I messed it up
making you believe in what was mine

Shifu grimaced at the idea. Was it his fault after all? Was he to blame for the darkness that Oogway had detected in the poor leopard? It was true he had often wondered what it would be like to be the surrogate father of the possible dragon warrior. He had done all he could to train Tai Lung. He thought they both deserved the honor. "Maybe there's a darkness in me too," the red panda shook his head in despair.

I know I pushed too hard
to make you more than who you really are.
Let's go back to the start.
I know I went too far. I went too far.

"I went too far," Shifu finally came to terms with the facts. Tai Lung hadn't failed him. Never had he failed him. Had he made him think he had? "I failed him," he realized, his strong demeanor breaking down as he stood on the mountain side alone. "I'm to blame for everything. All because I wanted to be the keeper of the dragon warrior." Shifu thought harder. Perhaps it was the same reason he had wanted it to be Tigress too. Again, it would have been his training that helped her become the one called to further greatness. Instead, he was stuck with a panda who was nothing of any greatness that he had created. "It's always been about me..."

I only wanted you to have
more than I could ever dream of.
I only wanted you to know
everything I know and then some.
I only wanted you to be
more than I could ever become.
I only wanted, I only wanted you.

"Why did I let my pride push me? Why couldn't I see the truth in time!? I've ruined his destiny," Shifu began to move backwards as his thoughts taunted him. Suddenly, he lost his footing on something. As he regained his composure, he saw what it was.

It was the small lump in the ground where the new peach tree seed had been placed by Oogway. In frustration, Shifu moved his hand close to it in order to pluck it out and throw it from the side of the mountain, but as his hand rested just above the dirt mound, he stopped. He couldn't bring himself to pluck out something that was one of his final reminders of his master. "A peach will always be a peach," he thought aloud. "I tried to make Tai Lung something he could never be. I didn't see the darkness Oogway did. I couldn't change the darkness. I only made it worse."

So now we're far away
holding on to miles that separate.
Still waiting for the day to say
it's not too late, it's not too late.

As Shifu lay there in the calmness of night, he could envision everything he had done to pet Tai Lung's devils instead of aiding him to conquer them. He could see the look in Tai Lung's eyes as he tried to impress him. "Look at this move! Yah! Did I do it right?" The sound of little Tai Lung's constant words and longing to be the best now haunted Shifu. "How about this? I've been practicing it since you taught it to me yesterday! I bet know one else knows how to use it but us, huh?" Shifu winced as though he could feel again the special move he had taught only Tai Lung to do and none of his other students. "I only wanted..." Shifu whispered to no one but couldn't finish.

Finally Shifu opened his eyes and brought himself back to the moment. "I only wanted him to be the dragon warrior and no one else," the words were bittersweet as he finally admitted his own fault once and for all. It wasn't a matter of what he might have done wrong, it was a matter of what he had done wrong. He had wanted no one but Tai Lung to have the honor of being the dragon warrior. His dreams had been dashed just as much as Tai Lung's had.

He looked just directly in front of him as he stood and could see a bit of the light coming from his pupils' living quarters. "But now the real dragon warrior has come forward. I have a chance to set things right." Shifu picked up the staff Oogway had left him and began his trek to make things right with Po. He had once learned obedience when he had learned Tai Lung was not the dragon warrior, but now was the ultimate test of whether or not he could take that lesson and live by it.

I know it's not
what you want to hear.
Nothing makes
up for all the years.
I pray for the day you see.
I tried to raise
you the best I know.
Now there's only
one thing I can hope.
You don't end up just like me.

As Shifu walked towards what would be most likely a humbling experience, he wondered how he would make Po a strong enough adversary to defeat the monster he helped create. "He is so strong because I made him that way," Shifu spoke to himself with a discontented sigh. "I have little time to make Po what he needs to...no," Shifu stopped. "I can't...I...I don't know what to do. How will I get through to him? He's everything Tai Lung isn't and I..." Shifu stopped again. His ears perked and eyes furrowed in deep thought before widening. "He's everything Tai Lung isn't! Perhaps irony is the secret ingredient the dragon scroll dictates."

Shifu headed quickly towards where Po waited, where destiny waited. As he did, he began to wonder how any of this would bring him peace. He had no peace now nor could he imagine having peace if someone he cared for deeply was brought to ruin again. "If only I hadn't wanted everything for myself," Shifu sighed before nearing the dining room door. "This ends tonight," he mumbled under his breath, not knowing what lay in store for them all.