This isn't my best work, but I still enjoyed writing it. Hope it gives you a bit of a laugh.

Mrs Lovett thought she had seen everything. Until she had walked in on Sweeney Todd doing something she rather wished she hadn't seen.

Mrs Lovett paused outside Mr Todd's shop, listening to the odd sounds coming from inside. She could hear him grunting from inside the room and wondered what he was doing. The grunts were low and guttural and were space evenly, one after another.

Grunt, grunt, grunt, grunt…

What on earth is that man doing? Mrs Lovett wondered, as she opened the door. She immediately wished she hadn't.

Sweeney was standing in front of his dresser, moving as he jerked at something in his hands. His trousers were lying discarded around his ankles and his face had whipped towards her, his eyes frozen wide in shock and embarrassment. Mrs Lovett's eyes darted downwards, and she shrieked.

"Mr T, what is that in your hands?!" He had looked down, and then guiltily looked back up. Mrs Lovett had turned away, blushing madly.

"Mrs Lovett," he gasped, trying to hide the thing (!) from her, "what are you doing in here? Haven't you ever heard of knocking?!" She whipped around, staring directly at him, a blush lighting her cheeks.

"Put it away, Mr T," she said sternly, chastising him. "Ya shouldn't do such things around a lady. 'T's not proper." He guiltily stood in front of her, unable to move from embarrassment, as his face became steadily redder. A sudden idea occurred to Mrs Lovett.

"Here, Mr T, why don't I help ya there?" she said taking pity on him, walking over to where he was and kneeling down in front of him. His eyes bulged, but she smiled, patting his hand.

"There, there," she said, "not to worry, dear, I'm experienced with these things, just relax and it'll all be over soon." She began her work as he stood there, too shocked and mortified to move.

- -

"There," said Mrs Lovett ten minutes later, after finishing. She got up. "All finished."

Todd was still standing there, frozen in shock, his eyes wide. He had not moved a muscle since Mrs Lovett had knelt in front of him. He chanced a glance at his landlady. She was holding the damn zip that he had been unable to fix, only it was working perfectly now. Mrs Lovett picked up the trousers still lying crumpled at his feet.

"Come on now, love, don't just leave them lying at your ankles like that," she said. Upon inspection, she saw that Todd's attempts to fix the stubborn zip had ripped the contraption clean off the fabric, hence why they were lying around his ankles. "I suppose it's just lucky the pair you're wearing aren't worn out as well," she continued.

"It's not my fault," he growled, finding his voice. "I don't know how the zip got stuck." Mrs Lovett's embarrassment returned, but she pushed it away.

"Ah, well," she said, "I've fixed it for ya now. Mind, I'll have to sew the zip back on since your attempts to un-stick it ripped it off the fabric." She giggled as she recalled Mr Todd's grunts as he had tugged this way and that on the zip, to no avail, and how she had thought at first that he'd been doing something very different, and rather indecent…

"Mr T, for someone who had to be independent for 15 years, you're not very 'andy," she chastised him. "I can't believe you weren't able to fix it! I can understand why you tried to hide it from me; 't's embarrassing, it is, a man unable to fix a zip! Well, at least you had the presence of mind to put on another pair of trousers while fixing them." She blushed as she imagined walking in on Mr T not wearing any trousers at all. Ooh, wouldn't that be a sight for the photo album?

He grunted angrily, and turned away from her, staring out the window once more. He was still blushing from the fact that his landlady had seen that he was unable to do something as simple as fix a broken zip on his other pair of trousers.

"I still don't know how the zip got stuck," he muttered. "I don't remember doing anything to it…"

Mrs Lovett blushed in embarrassment again as she left the room. That would be the last time she tried to do anything naughty to him while he was asleep…the damn zips got stuck too easily, and the ensuing chaos was too embarrassing for her to handle.

He he, thought he was doing something much, much, much naughtier than fixing his zip, didn't you! That was my intention ;D

Reviews much appreciated!