Warnings: Slash, book spoilers, manga spoilers, angst, clichés, brooding, chocolate abuse, reflected-upon child abuse, trauma, crude language, mentioned character death, Ron bashing, Ginny bashing, Dumbles bashing, mild sexual situations, AU for books 5, 6, and 7 of Harry Potter, disregards all Ouran chapters after 64.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JK Rowling and her affiliates. Ouran High School Host Club belongs to Bisco Hatori and her (it is her, right?) affiliates.

Featuring: Independent!Brooding!Isolationist!Harry, Clingy!Paternal!Sirius, and the host-bu guys being themselves

Quick guide! There are two sections – could have been/random weirdness, and other perspective. Line breaks mean new omake (each will be headed with a chapter-time and title). That's it.

The Giant Omake of Death

Scenes from other perspectives – happened from Harry's POV (7)

(Chapter 4)

Roommates

Takashi glanced over at the other bed, not for the first time that night. He was quite unused to sleeping with another person in the room, though Harry had no issue... then again it could be that Harry hadn't slept in days and could sleep through a tsunami. Still, it had been half an hour and Takashi still hadn't managed to fall into slumber whereas Harry was laying out on his stomach with his face half buried in the pillow, a moonbeam falling across him. He wasn't being loud or even making any noise but for the very slight noise of slow shallow breaths.

Yet his presence was still painfully obvious. There was no reason behind it whatsoever because out of the corner of his eye Harry seemed like a lump of blankets, he was several feet away, and the slight opening in the curtains wasn't strange either.

But he still couldn't get to sleep at all.

Takashi sighed lightly into the night air and tore his gaze away. He stretched lightly – not too far lest he cause his leg to overstretch and send him into bouts of pain (not fun, to be sure) – and rolled away from the window (and Harry's bed) to face the door. It was only for the one night, then the maids could fix up more rooms and Takashi would have his own.

And he wouldn't have to spend his night wondering why he couldn't sleep.

(The real question is, how he would start being goofy at this point with only a sleeping Harry to be goofy at?)

(Chapter 18)

Shipping and Handling

The news that the Black Magic Club would be doing some divination for the Host Club (especially now that he knew that divination was a branch of actualmagic) caught Takashi by surprise. Not a bad surprise certainly – the idea of magic was intriguing, even a "wooly subject" (Harry's words) like divination – since he would see some more magic and more of Harry. Not that Harry knew that he would be a good highlight for the day of course, but it was the thought that counted.

Kanazuki Reiko immediately came to the table that Takashi shared with Mitsukuni (they would have had separate tables today, but Kyouya had gathered intelligence that girls wanted to see the two together today), and Takashi was disappointed to see that Harry was going to the twins first.

He looked up every so often, mostly between groups of girls, to find Harry working with yet another group (most especially his year mates tended to have his attention), while Reiko continued to monopolize them – and Mitsukuni. Takashi sighed when the day had ended, and yet Harry had never come to his table. So much for looking forward to that.

With his table cleared, Takashi saw Harry was walking off to his study room and playing with that tiny crystal ball again. It was a very interesting skill, if impractical. Still, Takashi took the opportunity to walk up to Harry. He considered haling the younger boy as he walked up, but decided against it fairly quickly and merely placed his hand on the younger boy's shoulder.

Harry was already addressing him before he had turned around enough, which wasn't too surprising since anyone else would have addressed him. Takashi was kind of distinctive like that, he supposed. He smiled ever so slightly and held out his hand. "Palm reading?"

Okay, so he wanted a lot more than to just have his palm read, but Harry could (and would) do only so much for a guy who he obviously had no interest in... there had been signs to the contrary of course, but those were not guaranteed signs that Harry liked him like that.

Either way, Harry acquiesced. He grasped Takashi's hand and led him to a couch – the grasp wasn't necessary, but he did it anyway. Not a for sure sign that Harry liked him, much as Takashi might wish otherwise. Still, they sat down and Harry cradled Takashi's hand in his lap, ghosting his fingers over the lines in his right hand as he rattled off facts and meanings.

And it was all quite insightful and scarily accurate. How could his fingerprints have any meaning? And yet it appeared they did, and Harry read those meanings, no matter how personal they might seem. Yet Harry didn't seem too surprised by any of the information he was revealing, even if Takashi was surprised at being revealed through his hands. The Morinozuka tended to be unreadable, yet his hands said so much...

It was only when Harry got to his heart line that Takashi noticed any hesitation. What could it read, that he liked Harry? His sexual preferences? But all Harry said was that he would be passive in pursuit – which he was given that his attentions were most likely unwanted, no matter that Harry liked men – and very particular about his significant other. Though Takashi had to wonder at the pause before Harry referred to his "affections." Somehow that didn't seem the way Harry was meant to phrase whatever he was saying.

" All in all, whatever girl catches your attention will be very lucky indeed, Senpai," Harry stated. Takashi almost winced – his friends didn't even know he preferred men, did they? – but instead pulled his hand and flexed it a few times. Maybe Harry would read his other hand later, too.

"Thank you," Takashi stood from his seat and allowed Mitsukuni to bounce into it, excited at the idea of getting his own palm read. So excited that he had even forgotten his obvious machinations to get Takashi to ask Harry out (such as telling him that the dinner at Harry and Sirius' flat in October had been pushed up a half hour), but that was beside the point.

The point was that Harry now knew as much about Takashi' personality as Takashi knew about his, and he hardly blinked at it.

Yet another reason that Harry did not like him the same way. But Takashi would survive; Harry was a good friend regardless. The Morinozuka, more than their stoicism, were known for perseverance.

And he would most certainly persevere.

(Chapter 21)

Tipsy and Takashi-sensei

The call from Kaoru was unexpected, but not unwanted. Takashi was still sorting things out from the skiing trip – Harry had shown more than a few signs in the direction of Takashi, and he had defended Takashi from the blond wizard's insults – and was pleased with the idea of giving Harry dancing lessons. It could be a bit awkward, but he would manage.

Likewise, the call to Harry was not a bad one, though Takashi later realized that he probably should have told Harry that he was coming that day since he and Mitsukuni were off babysitting duty while Satoshi and Yasuchika took their cousins to the cinema. Having Mitsukuni around might make things a bit easier at least, even if he was only going to be talking about dragons with Harry's surrogate big-brother.

When they arrived, Takashi lifted up Mitsukuni to knock on the door with a large silver knocker (strange that there was no doorbell, but it was a magical house; maybe they just didn't use doorbells?) and, when there was no answer, they cracked open the door. It was mostly open when a man with red hair appeared around a corner, looking like he had just run pretty far.

"Sweet Circe that's a long way," he grumbled, rubbing the back of his neck. The man was only a few inches shorter than Takashi, with spiky red hair the same distinctive shade as the Weasley twins had, hyperaware blue eyes, and a large, shiny burn on one arm. "Hey, uh, who are you guys?"

"I'm Mitsukuni, and this is Takashi!" Mitsukuni piped proudly from where he had perched himself on Takashi's shoulders. "We came to see Harry-chan. Takashi is going to teach him how to dance." Mitsukuni wasn't really so immature as that, as some small amount of his childishness was a mask, but only barely. Given his stature and appearance, adding that extra layer of childish cuteness just made him more adorable.

"Oh, you'd be his mates from school then," the red head grinned. "I'm Charlie Weasley – er, Weasley Charlie I mean – nice to meet you." He shook Takashi's hand first, then Mitsukuni's, completely unfazed by the sugary-ness feigned or otherwise. "Last I heard from Fred and George, Harry took refuge in the second greenhouse; it's a nice bit of scenery on the way there. I wish he'd told me he was having company over though."

"Harry-chan didn't know we were coming," Mitsukuni giggled. "It's a surprise."

"Well, I'm sure he will be surprised," Charlie nodded seriously. "Come along then; Harry needs all the help he can get with dancing. Not that he's got two left feet or anything, just that no one he knows can teach if you catch my meaning."

Takashi didn't quite understand, but soon they moved back through the house. As they progressed Takashi saw more and more blatantly magical objects, including portraits with moving subjects, windows showing other countries (he was certain that that beach was near his family's property in the Bahamas), and a room that seemed to be a lab of some sort, likely for potions. All the way Charlie was talking about Harry fighting a dragon when he was fourteen with nothing to help him but his broom.

Somehow, that called for a bad pun, but Takashi did not dare say it.

"Right, I'm not going in there with you," Charlie informed them when they had been through the first green house (which including color-changing roses, some form of above-ground potato, and fruit trees growing fruit out of season). "Some of the stuff he keeps in there... well, it's your own funeral. Could be worse though; he could have gone in the third greenhouse. You couldn't pay me enough galleons to go in there."

Takashi nodded his thanks while Mitsukuni waved jauntily at the newly christened "Charu-chan" before they left him behind and entered.

It only took a minute or so to find Harry crouched in the dirt, covered in loam and grass stains. It was cute, though Takashi wouldn't say it. Mostly because such a comment was likely unwanted and less because he wouldn't want to say it.

"Right, so the Lilies will stop chuckling and you lot will stop trying to take over their flowerbed, is that agreed?" If Takashi hadn't known better, he would have thought that both groups of flowers nodded – though he really did know better than to underestimate magic, and so said nothing on that either.

Upon seeing them, Harry seemed to believe he needed to justify himself, which – again – was cute, but Takashi continued to hold his tongue. Especially when he realized what he was doing and blushed. Though when Harry finished talking to them and suddenly snapped his fingers, Takashi was flummoxed.

Less so when he saw a floppy-eared creature with a tomato-like nose and large baby-blue eyes appear at his side. He recognized the emblem on the creature's uniform from Harry's snowboard.

When the concept of a house-elf was explained, Takashi immediately understood what Harry wanted to convey and couldn't help but think, firstly, that "Tipsy" seemed quite happy to serve Harry, more like a loyal friend than a slave, and secondly that the creature reminded him of the European tales of the brownies, a kind of elf that liked to help without being seen and without thanks because that was what it liked to do.

Mitsukuni went to theatrics of course, but not as badly as he might have, and he obviously felt for Harry's own moral plight. They left, and Mitsukuni went off with the dragon tamer while Takashi followed Harry back into the house. He paid attention to everything Harry said until they got back to the roses.

There was something yellow and black flitting between roses, and Takashi refused to take a step further.

He did not like bees.

And without having to saying anything beyond "bee" Harry understood and led them another way around. Other people would have laughed at the idea of Morinozuka Takashi being afraid of bees, but they were creatures from the very pits of hell in his opinion. He wouldn't even eat honey, much to Mitsukuni's consternation.

When in the house, Harry gave him a quick tour of the first two floors – the mansion was bigger on the inside than the outside, it seemed – before running off to get into something less plant-covered. Takashi was immediately served some chocolate biscuits by Tipsy, who he thanked (the little elf had beamed brightly at him). They were good biscuits too, though Takashi couldn't help but think that Harry's were better. And not in some sentimental way, just that he preferred the taste of the ones Harry made.

When Harry returned, Takashi gave him a quick rundown of what was to be done by the one leading a dance, demonstrated placement of hands, and danced with the air as an example before he let Harry take over. He was very good at following by now, since he was often led by Mitsukuni at dances for one or two dances, and he knew how to correct Harry while they danced without taking away the lead.

"Don't look at your feet," he reprimanded, tilting Harry's chin up with his hand, "only the eyes." For Harry had slipped his gaze down to watch his feet. It may seem like a good tactic at first, but it set a bad precedent and could become a habit if they weren't careful.

"Yes, Takashi-sensei," Harry replied sarcastically. Not that Takashi caught the sarcasm; he was surprised that Harry had called him Takashi. It took quite a few measures before he let a smile – larger than that usual reserved smiles, that was for certain – before they were able to continue dancing, though they didn't.

Why would Harry call him Takashi? There was no reason behind it. Sensei was obviously a bit of a jab, but he was teaching Harry to dance so it wasn't total mockery at least. Still, he smiled widely at Harry, in a way that seemed almost familiar... but how? Takashi never really smiled so widely and he was surprised enough that he had let himself be so pleased by something so simple, and yet...

He called me Takashi, he couldn't help the grin this thought inspired.

There was a loud pop and Harry tried to turn in his grasp, something Takashi's sluggish mind couldn't wholly prevent as they suddenly tumbled to the floor. It was quite improper, but Takashi was still dumbfounded enough to not think to jump up immediately and instead took a moment to get off of the object of his desires.

He hardly noticed when Tipsy said that Mitsukuni had said they had to leave (though he did catch that the elf called him Harry's Takashi).

In the car, the slightly-goofy smile slipped back into place somewhat when Mitsukuni asked if anything had happened.

"He called me Takashi," he repeated the thought that he been bouncing about in his skull. Being called Takashi by Harry... it was something he could get used to. Maybe he would make at least that much clear at a later date.

(Chapter 29)

Kendo-Kiss

Takashi wiped a few beads of sweat quickly from his forehead and walked to the far wall to put his shinai away. Everyone else had left the kendo club already, and he was supposed to be leaving with Satoshi to head home soon. Still, he was breathing heavily and could only barely hear the sound of light footsteps on the tatami behind him over the pumping of his own blood in his ears.

With his shinai on the rack, he turned to see Harry walked toward him, an almost lecherous look in his eye, and before Takashi could even move to acknowledge his boyfriend, he found his lips otherwise engaged. Not that he was going to complain, though he had been a bit short of breath when Harry jumped him, so the snogging session didn't last as long as he may have liked (air wasn't that necessary to life, was it?). He pulled away slowly and rested his damp forehead on Harry's.

He couldn't help but to wonder what had brought that on. Again, not that he was complaining – he could do with plenty more random snogging sessions – but it was more than a little random. And, more so, Satoshi was outside. They hadn't told anyone abut their relationship. Takashi kept meaning to, he just... was a bit preoccupied with molesting Harry's mouth.

"Satoshi's outside," just an observation to make Harry aware that it was entirely possible for them to be walked in on. He lifted his head again and kissed the seemingly bare area in the middle of Harry's forehead before resting his head again.

And Harry had known Satoshi was outside the dojo, and seemed not to mind too much of Takashi's little brother saw them. In fact, he seemed more concerned with Takashi not wanting Satoshi to know (preposterous; his family had known he liked men since before he started at the high school level and he had no reason to hide that). For not minding, Takashi couldn't help but sacrifice what little more of his breath he had caught.

This time Harry had to break away, his face red and his eyes a bit fuzzy looking.

Takashi knew there was a reason he loved Harry; this was just one of those reasons.

(Anytime Between the ends of 32 and 34)

Doujinshi Paradise

Houshakuji Renge knew a sordid affair when she saw one, and she had seen the makings of it for months between Mori and Harry. She had seen all the glances, the little touches and flirtatious small talk (okay, so there wasn't much talking, but she was a very imaginative person), everything that pointed towards the two boys being lovers. Her cluster of fellow yaoi fangirls listened in awe whenever she expounded upon what she had seen most recently that might point towards there being a genuine gay couple at Ouran.

Only, she had never expected to be right. Those same observations were made about plenty of boys, especially the Hosts – the Hitachiin twins and Haruhi, the Hitachiin twins and Tamaki, Tamaki and Haruhi, Tamaki and Kyouya, Kyouya and Haruhi (for he was obviously the uke in any situation), Kasanoda and Haruhi, even Mori and Hani – and yet she had inadvertently stumbled upon the true yaoi pairing.

And she was immediately smitten. In the course of two days, as soon as she had heard Potter Harry's proclamation, she had written a full doujinshi script and was already in the process of drawing the art for it before Mori had returned to school from the whole kidnapping-thing.

They were bought up quickly, but sales flagged in a week, and for good reason. Even Renge couldn't get the same thrill from reading her doujinshi as from that one photo of the two boys cuddling. It was adorable, and from the position of Mori's head – lips lightly brushing the smaller boy's neck in a semi-erotic way – just enough to make it obvious to even someone who might believe the pair straight that they were most certainly not.

Of course, seeing this she was soon convinced that the imaginary love pentagon (of Hikaru, Kaoru, Haruhi, Tamaki, Kasanoda, and Kyouya) must be real. After all, if she was right once…

If only she knew that the yaoi hexagon was a completely heterosexual love pentagon – now that would make for an interesting manga.

(But, alas, Bisuko-sensei already made that.)

Various characters' thoughts regarding Takashi/Harry

Tamaki: Um... well, not that I have anything against it, but I did not need to find out by watching them kiss.

Kyouya: It's good for business. The fangirls – particularly Renge-kun – will pay a lot for pictures of them.

Haruhi: My father is dating Harry's godfather; I'm not about to find this strange. Whatever makes them happy. And I did kinda help with trying to get them together... mostly on accident of course, but... I dunno. They seem to work well together.

Hani: I'm going to have an awesome cousin-in-law!!! Besides, I was trying to get them together in the first place. Takashi's been in need of a nice boyfriend for a while, and Harry-chan fit the bill perfectly! :3

Hikaru: I dunno, I guess I don't really care. People like who they like, and if Mori-senpai and Harry like each other...

Kaoru: Better than if Haruhi was dating Harry-kun. It's bad enough that Cassanova got her, but I wouldn't be able to stand it if she preferred Harry to my brother.

Sirius: I'm really happy for Harry. Okay, so maybe I should have tried to give Takashi some kind of talk about not hurting Harry... but at this point I think that would just be pointless. Besides, they're happy together; if Harry's happy than so am I.

Ranka: I don't know Takashi-kun very well, but two cute boys together... well, I must say I approve ;)

Satoshi: I figured Harry-senpai liked Taka-nii-san as soon as we had lunch together, and Taka-nii-san was pretty interested in Harry-senpai so it wasn't too hard to figure out. Anyway, I really think Taka-nii needed a boyfriend. He's always been amazing but now he's even better! And Harry-senpai is cool too. He used magic to turn my shinai green! I like green...

(Pre-Epilogue)

Adventures in Babysitting

Mitsukuni stared at the small child in front of him. He knew how to be a father – he and Reiko had two daughters after all – and he had taken care of his cousins before... but how was he supposed to be an uncle? Ryouta was almost three, and this was Mitsukuni's first time babysitting the little boy.

"Anou... Ryou-chan, do you want to have some cake?"

Little did he know that he had just become Ryouta's favorite uncle.

Scenes that could have been and random weirdness – as in none of this is real! (11)

(Chapter 15-16-ish)

Sink or Swim

All things considered, Harry dealt with things rather well. He went home, shrunk all his things, and left Sirius a very noticeable note (in that it had Attention Drawing charms on it) before apparating to the mansion he'd had built. It was far too much for just him, but he needed to be away from Sirius, and on the off chance that he hosted a business dinner or something he needed appropriate premises.

He felt quite guilty about leaving Sirius so suddenly, but it had to happen. He had decided that distance was the only thing that could save his godfather and newfound friends.

At school the next day, Harry did not acknowledge the Hosts when they greeted him, much as he wanted to. The looks of surprise – and hurt in some cases – made him want to shrivel up and die, but he could not and did not. He ignored them all day and caught the bullet train to an apparation point which he took home. He didn't need the study space that the-room-that-was-once-his afforded now that he had an open link to the Potter Library in his home and Sirius couldn't bother him.

Normally, Harry might have considered that Sirius could bother him through his phone at least, but Harry's wards weren't calibrated for electronics just yet. He had called Gringotts to see if they could send him a warding team to take care of that; they would arrive within the week.

This continued all week as Harry narrowly dodged his friends-that-could-not-be and godfather. On Friday he received a missive during lunch telling him that the warding team had arrived, and he apparated to the rendezvous point. The five teens pursuing him – for Kyouya was in France and Tamaki was supposed to be in France – were flummoxed as to how he had turned a corner and simply vanished.

The warding team surprised him, in that it contained Bill Weasley. A pleasant enough surprise, though Harry would really rather not have to deal with anyone who knew him at such a moment in time. Still, he was friendly with the man and damned himself for being too weak to resist socializing when given such an opportunity.

Things managed to remain all business for the first three hours, regardless of familial affiliations. They went to Harry's house and Bill directed his team to start sorting through the wards. Harry ended up giving him a tour of the house while the peons went at it, a tour which ended up stopping at Harry's indoor swimming pool.

"So you finally learned then?" Asked Bill.

"No," Harry shrugged, "but I will eventually and I'd rather swim in a pool than some lake." It was the truth; he could tread water (sort of) and doggy-paddle, but that was about it.

Of course, Bill couldn't have that and declared that he would be teaching Harry to swim for the rest of the afternoon since, "They won't need me for a good hour or so, and I haven't had a good swim since August. The Sahara is kinda dry after all."

About an hour into the lesson, however, Harry's head elf, Tipsy, popped in to tell Harry that he had people waiting for him in the second living room. This was the one further back in the house, the magical living room rather than the first, which was completely muggle but for the current lack of electricity. Obviously, the team thought they needed Bill's help now, so they both climbed out of the pool and made their way back to the main part of the house.

Harry had no troubles having a regular conversation with Bill as they walked to the living room in question. He had no trouble admitting that Bill was a fine specimen either, but ten years age difference was a bit much on his attractiveness scale. So he didn't have trouble averting his gaze from the oldest Weasley son's bare chest either.

Well, okay, he peeked, but just a little.

"Harry-chan!"

Harry nearly jumped out of his skin upon seeing five of the Hosts in his living room. His obviously magical living room with moving portraits, a wizard's chess set (the pieces were currently fighting with each other), and the room itself painted to reflect the outside of Harry's home so perfectly that even the setting sun was properly blinding to look at.

He was too busy being horrified to notice that Mori was giving Bill a rather unsavory look.

(Chapter 17)

It's Called Magic

Harry explained magic quite calmly to Tamaki, and as the boy's emotions changed he tried to adjust the explanation. It didn't seem to help any.

"What's wrong?" Harry asked, eyeing the Host King worriedly. He was getting the sort of look that he had heard muggles who didn't like magic gave when it was explained to them. A furrowed brow, curious gaze, and a stern set to the jaw that was uncharacteristic of Tamaki were his clues.

"Why are you telling me this?" Tamaki seemed genuinely confused. "You're Potter Harry after all; you already knew I was a wizard, so why explain it?"

Silence greeted this statement.

"You... did know, right Harry-kun?"

"No..." Harry gave Tamaki a quite dumbfounded look. Tamaki... was a wizard?

"You didn't? Oh..." He glanced at the rest of the assembled – and shocked – Hosts. "Why else did you think Nekozawa-senpai wanted me in the Black Magic Club so badly?"

Harry had no response for this.

(Chapter 23)

Traditionally Sexy

After the fireworks display, Harry was a bit… antsy. He had until tomorrow to tell Takashi how he felt; tomorrow was less than one hour away at this point. He sighed, but smiled at Fred and George who were engaging him in conversation with his classmates and entertaining a group of Ouran students with stories of Hogwarts – made muggle-safe of course.

"You know Harry," whispered George to Harry as Fred took the helm of the story-telling, "there are some traditions regarding the stroke of midnight on the New Year." At Harry's silence – and perked brow – George continued. "Some people throw back a glass of wine, and I've heard of some muggles banging pots and pans, though that seems kinda commonplace to do for a group here… and the fireworks already went off, so that's out."

"Your point?" Harry sighed and leaned back. He kept half an ear open to Fred telling everyone about the TriWizard Tournament (in muggle terms and without the word "wizard" in the name of course) so that he could field questions properly at a later date. There was obviously something that George wanted to tell him after all.

"Well, there's no wine, so the only other tradition is to kiss the nearest person," the devilish grin on his face was most certainly not from Fred telling everyone about a swimming relay where Harry had to rescue their ponce of a little brother from the middle of the school lake when he barely even knew how to swim and how "valiant" he was to make sure everyone else made it to the hostages before swimming back with, not only their brother, but another competitor's little sister.

"Fascinating," Harry deadpanned. He sipped some of the sparkling juice. "And I should go by some tradition I've never really cared about before because… why exactly?"

George shrugged, "Thought you might like to have a certain opportunity with a certain tall someone with a good excuse is all."

Harry scowled, but said nothing further and instead interjected a few points to Fred's story-telling (about how it wasn't Fleur's fault that she was attacked in the Task and Ron helped him get Fleur's sister to shore anyway). Honestly, the ideas Fred and George came up with!

About ten minutes later, Takashi (it was so strange to call him that!) came up to Harry and – surprisingly enough – requested another dance. Harry might have stammered and said either no or yes very quickly, but he saw Kyouya off to the side with a camera and quickly caught the motive. Apparently Kyouya wanted some more yaoi fodder, and Harry was a prime target.

For the first time, Takashi was the one to lead the dance, and Harry had no problem relaxing into being led.

All of a sudden, dancing stopped as a rather large bouncy ball found its way to the dance floor, though why Harry could not say. However, he did catch the start of a countdown.

"Ten! Nine!" They were counting down to the New Year. "Eight!" George's words caused Harry's brain to go into overdrive. "Seven!" Takashi was still holding him closely. "Six!" Should he do it? "Five!" Could he do it? "Four!" He wanted to and yet he didn't want to and it was all so damn confusing. "Three!" This was his chance, and he could always lay the blame on that stupid tradition. "Two!" Harry pursed his lips and glanced at Takashi, who had let go of his hand to swat the ball away. "One!"

And because his hand was freed from Takashi's grip it seemed to gain a mind of it own, in that suddenly Harry found that hand reaching forward and grabbing the back of Takashi's neck and pulling while the other – which was still on Takashi's shoulder – helped support him as he stood on tip-toes.

The great cry of "Happy New Year!" died a sudden death in Harry's part of the dance floor as people noticed Harry and Takashi were… well, kissing, which was not something they normally saw either of those two people doing. Of course, Harry – being the gentleman that he was – backed off quickly and moved to apologize, ready to tell Takashi that it was a tradition in Britain and he hadn't meant to and a slew of other platitudes.

He did not get the chance, however, as Takashi's other hand, which was still on his waist, pulled him in again, the free hand went to his cheek, and Harry found his face in close contact with the object of his desires once more.

It was unexpected… not that Harry was going to complain of course.

(Anytime Between 26 and 30)

I am your King, Dattebayo!

Harry wondered how they got him into these things. Sure, he was friends with the Hosts, but not too terribly close, and certainly not enough that he should get involved with any of their events. Certainly not with only two hours notice on a cosplay event.

Yet Harry was still standing with the Hosts when their clientele entered, and feeling quite foolish. They had given him a long black wig, most of which was tied in a bun on top of his head with some hanging a bit in front, a dark green kimono with white edging, a brown obi, a black sweater, and a strange white and red mask with four wavy marks on the forehead. He had no idea what cosplay they were getting him in on, and honestly, he felt he looked ridiculous.

And he probably would have refused if they hadn't shown him Takashi's costume – in that Takashi was going to be half naked and the character Harry was dressed as (from some manga he had never heard of, not a surprise considering he didn't read manga) was the constant companion of Takashi's character. So he would spend the day with Takashi while Hani serviced alone at his own table.

Harry could be "Haku" for the day, since it meant being near "Zabuza."

However, he honestly had no idea who everyone else was. Haruhi had extensions as well, though not as long as Harry's, pulled into a ponytail; the twins kept calling her "Shikamaru" or just "Shika" while Tamaki complained that she ought to be some girl called "Sakura." Even after all this time, he still didn't get that revealing Haruhi so far into the cross-dressing scheme was a bad idea.

It seemed that the only set of twins in that manga were bad guys, and lame ones that Hikaru and Kaoru refused to play, so they had taken the rolls of a teacher-student duo who were... rather creepy looking. Black bowl-cut wigs covered their hair and extremely bushy black eyebrows attached to their own. They also wore green spandex one-lets, and kept crying and shouting "Gai-sensei!" (Hikaru) and "Lee!" (Kaoru). It was more disturbing that their usual twincest act, yet the girls lapped it up.

Hani was, predictably, dressed as a little boy. His wig was a medium brown and he got to be loud, which was fun for him. He also liked the ridiculously long scarf that was wound around his neck and the goggles on his forehead, and the girls found "Konohamaru-kun" adorable.

Kyouya wore a silver wig, also in a ponytail, and the metal plate on his forehead had a music note engraved on it. He clothes were quite normal compared to everyone, yet "Kabuto" seemed somehow more evil than Kyouya's usual portrayal of himself. The fangirls giggling in the background didn't help Harry figure out anymore on that character.

However, it was Tamaki's character – Uzumaki Naruto, the title character of the manga – who had Harry most confused. He was supposed to be a ninja... yet he was wearing bright orange. The twins green he could understand, since green blended with foliage at least a little, but a baggy orange jumpsuit? How did that even make sense for a ninja?

"You shall be my dearest flower, dattebayo!" And he kept ending each sentence with "dattebayo."

Harry sighed and sent pleading eyes up at Takashi, though they couldn't really be seen through the slitted eyes of his mask. "Shoot me now?" Takashi just smiled and adjusted the overlarge fake sword that was slung over his shoulder. Harry sighed; he'd thought not.

Still, between groups of girls Harry had no problem getting the daylights snogged out of him by a half-naked Takashi. It was a highly interesting experience.

Maybe he could help the Hosts out a bit more often?

(Anytime Between 26 and 30)

Mission Faked Illness: Failure

When Harry found out that Hani had stayed home sick – and so suddenly – he was shocked, and immediately moved to comfort Takashi. He obviously felt guilty – it was written all over his face, even if one didn't notice the slightly-slumped shoulders and other danger signs – and Harry saw it as his duty to keep the older boy out of Tamaki's emo-corner. Merlin knew they had cultivated enough mushrooms to last months.

"Don't worry Takashi; it's all the changing seasons, you know?" Harry reassured the older boy. "Hani-senpai will be fine. He had a cold back in September too, and I already sent a healer to his place to take care of him properly. He'll be better by the end of the day."

Takashi didn't seem at all convinced and remained slumped at his table in the Host room. Everyone else was trying their best to pretend that nothing was wrong, and even though Takashi was in no state to service his fangirls, both his and Hani's were watching the scene from some nearby free tables. Not that Harry noticed – he was too busy dealing with his distraught boyfriend.

"Takashi, you really ought to cheer up; have you so little faith in modern medicine that it can't take care of a simple cold?" Harry chided, trying to gain the desired positive response. Takashi gave him a sort of "why should I?" look that made Harry huff.

He leaned forward and whispered something in Takashi's ear that the fangirls strained to hear, but he was too quiet. However, judging by the way Takashi perked up, it was something they really wanted to know. Although the strangely red tint to the cheeks of one Morinozuka Takashi was obviously a trick of the light; he didn't blush!

Two hours later, Ootori Kyouya called Haninozuka Mitsukuni, who had been playing sick, and proclaimed the mission a failure. It seemed operation get-Mori-and-Harry-to-quit-being-dense was as stagnant as it had been since they had started it at the New Year's party.

Oh how little they knew.

(Chapter 32)

Down With Dumbles, Muggle-Style

Albus Dumbledore looked out the false window for the umpteenth time, waiting for the owl that would say that Harry had acquiesced to his demands. It was only a matter of time, but until then he would try to get Morinozuka to eat again. The poor boy was still refusing to eat, and it truly pained the ex-Headmaster to see any child in such a state (Harry, of course, was a weapon, tool, and pawn and therefore not subject to that same guilt).

A loud crash at the front of the house alerted him to intruders, and Albus dropped the tray he had been holding (filled with sweets, mashed potatoes, and more sweets) to go for his wand. Morinozuka turned a curious glance to the door, which alerted Albus to just how fast the intruders in question must be.

Following the suddenly lit gaze of his hostage, Dumbledore was surprised to see a little blond boy with large brown eyes glaring at him. Behind the little boy (he can't have been even old enough to attend Hogwarts) were several others, including a young glasses-wearing lad who could be the blond boy's older brother, perhaps 13 years old, and another boy of the same age who was doubtlessly the younger sibling of Morinozuka.

For a moment he wondered how muggle children had entered his trash-fortress, but then he saw a few adults – all obvious relations to the children – take up muggle martial arts stances behind the boys who did the same. His eyes widened, but there was nothing to be done.

The next thing he knew, Albus Dumbledore was on the floor and nursing a broken nose from being hit in the face by Morinozuka's younger brother, particularly by the wooden sword the child was wielding. As he was getting the snot beat out of him by three kids, Albus could think of only one thing.

Honestly, who gave kids weapons at that age?

(Everyone Dumbles, especially wizards.)

(Chapter 34)

Boobs

Harry was waiting with Sirius and the Hosts at the airport for their guests from Europe (mostly Britain, but Remus lived in France after all). He had turned to ask Hani something, but this was apparently not the greatest idea as he found himself tackle-hugged – not glomped in the manner that Sirius preferred, but actually tackled – by something crimson. And with boobs.

Of course, Harry had nothing against boobs, in fact he rather liked them (though he was more than content to be with Takashi, who was quite notably lacking female appendages); he just wasn't terribly interested in the girl who was currently straddling his stomach and trying to push the aforementioned objects in his face.

Harry scowled at the girl; what was she doing out of school in the first place? Ginny Weasley was in her fifth year at Hogwarts and should not be in Japan, let alone breaking the restraining order by tackling him.

"Harry! Did you miss me?" She leaned further, trying again to draw attention to her bust.

"As much as I missed Dumbledore before he kidnapped my boyfriend," Harry deadpanned. Ginny didn't seem to catch the lack of enthusiasm or the implications of the statement.

"Oh, it's so terrible that he was sentenced like that," she sighed airily, "but now you have me back, so things are going to be so much better! I promise that I'll –"

She was cut off suddenly as Takashi pulled her off of Harry and then latched himself to the poor victimized first year.

Ginny could only gulp and nod when Takashi told her in no uncertain terms to "keep her mitts off of his boyfriend."

(Chapter 36)

Neko wa hebi ga daikirai

Lucius Malfoy stood on the lip of the stage, his wand touching the large rune at his feet. A large, slow grin formed on his face. This was it, it was time to summon him!

"We beseech you, grant our greatest desires! Come to our aid! Rid us of the impure filth!" Lucius cried out. He took another great intake and belted out the name of the djinn lord they sought to summon. "Lord Berezenef!"

Almost as if Mt Fuji had decided it would be fun to move to another continent – by walking of course, because planes are too small to carry a mountain – the earth shook and slowly a great black shade appeared in the middle of the room, looking down from the ceiling at the Death Eaters.

"Lord Berezenef! Step forth and claim their lives!" Bellatrix called out from Lucius' left. The great shade became more prominent, large red eyes, slitted down the middle as their old master's had been, stared malevolently down from what was easily two stories up.

Those eyes raked over the surrounding environs slowly, causing Lucius to shudder. It was disturbing, the way they seemed to see everything without moving, yet did so despite that. Twice that swiveling gaze halted, if only for a moment, before continuing on, all the while becoming more corporeal.

"Great Lord Berezenef!" Roodwood this time, from Lucius' right. "We offer these sacrifices in return for your freedom and greatest service!"

The shade halted, nearly at the point where it would become more than a mere shadow of energy, before a low chuckle echoed throughout the showroom where the muggles had been having their "carnival" (though, really, it wasn't a carnival of any sort so why they called it that was anyone's guess).

"Servants of the Snake Lord Nagini request my aid," the booming voice muttered. Another peal of low chuckles. "And for sacrifice they offer muggles and purebloods a like. I wonder, Snake Worshippers, do you know who has found their way into the proffered buffet?"

This was not part of the ritual... but Lucius responded, fearing what the demi-god might do otherwise. "Our greatest foe and many muggle filth, as well as a font of magic all yours for the taking Lord Berezenef!" Hopefully, that would be the right answer.

The eyes swiveled again. "Your greatest adversary, the Potter who destroyed Lord Nagini's scion, I take it?" Almost at once, the shadow was looming over the lip of the stage, and Lucius could almost feel the dark magicks that were making up its form. "And the 'muggle filth' as you call them... but you insult me, Snake Worshippers."

Lucius, and all of the Death Eaters, gasped and many took an involuntary step back as suddenly the shadow seemed all the more ominous to them rather than the filth who were stuck by mere targeted-sticking charms. How had they insulted it? Were there not enough sacrifices?

"You offer up my own servants as sacrifice, the Great and Noble House of Nekozawa," At this, three of the supposed muggles (Lucius recognized one as a squib who had claimed that squibs could have magical children, a laughable notion) were levitated seemingly effortlessly from the floor, and the youngest of the pureblood sacrifices, a little girl, was torn off as well to join them. "You should know better than to so blatantly insult a djinn."

Lucius and the other Death Eaters vanished in a swarm of black without even time to scream, each leaving in their place a wooden cat-doll. The great shade of Berezenef vanished as well, and all the spellwork that kept bound the ritual's victims was released.

In the middle of the ritual square, a small black cat hopped from the ground to the shoulder of Nekozawa Umehito and burped slightly.

(Not quite what was requested, but it works.)

(Chapter 36)

Super Ninja-Witch

They never stood a chance, Tamaki realized as he stood on the stage. The Death Eaters were all in a pile on the stage before anyone had even realized something might be wrong, with a single figure standing atop them.

Well, the show must go on, and while it was unorthodox, Tamaki supposed that their savior deserved to be in the show.

After all, his grandmother was a ninja.

(Chapter 36)

Beauty and the Djinn

The djinn opened its eyes, taking into its new surroundings. The temperature was a bit chilly – still cold enough for a human to survive – but he would make due. Yes, this was a good step above the pocket dimension where he had been sealed, though the scent of deceased humans rather rankled him.

Slowly, the djinn took in his new surroundings; a grand hall of marble with a stage and throne at the fore prepared for his use. The humans – scratch that, two wizards and a witch – stood near the lip of that stage with their wands slowly lifting from a great rune of the ancient tongue (the rune for release). And, of course, one could not forget the droves of dead humans at his feet.

Slowly, the djinn – who had taken a humanoid form upon his summoning and seemed a tall thin man with long black hair and almost grayish skin – lowered himself from the ceiling where he had been hovering and placed his feet on the stage. He did not, however, pay much mind to the wizards who were staring at him in a mixture of incredulity and awe, but instead continued to survey his surroundings. Not only were there dead people on the floor, but thirteen dead wizards on the walls, including a small child.

The djinn liked children, and not in the "they taste good lightly toasted with eggs benedict and diced tomatoes" way that his father had preferred them.

Still, he didn't much care and looked further, ignoring the beseeching of the wizards. There were some dead wizards on the floor, very few but enough to be noticeable. The magic that was still slowly seeping from their bodies made it easy to pick out where the magical ones dwelled.

A little known fact about magical creatures is that, when they die, their creature-abilities seep out with the magic. And so as the leaks spread, the djinn caught a whiff of magic from the most scintillating of sources; a demi-veela. And he wanted her.

With a wide wave of his arm, the swirling nexus of the node swarmed through the room and brought to people back to life. Even as that happened, he kept his eyes pinned to the demi-veela and approached slowly. The room had erupted into chaos, the resurrected attacking those who worked the ritual, but the djinn only grabbed up the veela woman and brought her to his throne.

The magical governments who had tried so hard to wrest the node into their control lost their chance as it – and Ouran High School – became the kingdom of the djinn and his chosen mate.

Although, as it was happening, said mate could only wonder what she had smoked and where she could get more.

(Pre-Fake Epilogue)

Harry's Insanity

Albus Dumbledore Escapes from Prison!
With Dumbledore out, what will happen now?

By Houshakuji Renge...

Takashi glanced over his paper at his husband, who was being... very strange. Dumbledore just escaped from jail... could that be why?

"I think the kids should go to Hogwarts," Harry said suddenly.

Three hours later, Takashi called the aurors to test Harry for Imperius, but no trace was found. It seemed that Takashi had merely married a lunatic.

... A sexy lunatic.

Author's Note: Yeah, this is the last thing I will ever post for this story. There were going to be 31 of these, but I didn't want to write some of them... and, honestly, this is big enough as is. 18 of these and over 9k words? Yeah, done with this story… now I'm going to go work on something else (maybe Quick as the Cold Wind?) :D On an unrelated note, there are over 92k hits on this story... I'm kinda hoping to hit 100k by the end of the year.

By the way, I've been editing (most especially getting rid of my mispelling of Kyouya's name that I decided to perpetuate rather than fix), so... yeah :P

This story has over 92k reads, over 250k words, 39 chaps, 83 C2s, 316 favs, and 354 alerts upon completion.

(Upon FINALLY finishing the editing, there are 213k hits, 261k words, 39 chaps, 117 C2s, 609 faves, and 353 alerts. I suppose it could be said there are 40 chapters though, since I wrote Orpheus a smut-sequel for christmas last year... (If anyone wants it, just send me a PM and I can give you the adultfanfic link... after Sept 19 2009 when I turn 18 that is))