AUTHOR'S NOTE: Realizing just how successful my Super Mario Sunshine As Told By Bowser story was (and still is!), I've decided to create a similar story: Luigi's Mansion As Told By King Boo. Keep a lookout for some other stories I may make of adventures from the villain's point of view.

So, back to the show.

--

I stared out of my portrait angrily. Yes, you heard me right, portrait. I was in a painting! Me! King Boo!

More specifically, I was in the backroom of a lab of a short, strange old professor. This guy made it his job to catch Boos and study them. My own people. Turns out he caught me a while ago, too. Using some weird machine--the "Ghost Portrificationizer," I believe he called it--he turned us all into "beautiful ghost portraits."

I'm not the only one here. Oh, heavens, no. There are more than twenty ghosts hear, in the lab, also portraits. They're not Boos, specifically, but they do fear me. They're all human-shaped, to some extent, never mind the ghostly tail on their bottoms. We can't talk to each other or communicate in any way at all. That's the way it is when you're stuck in a portrait.

I had a plan, though. Surely my minions would be coming to help me. They'd take me and the other portrait ghosts, put us going backwards through the Ghost Portrificationizer, and turn us back into real, living beings! ...Or, not living. The 50 or so Boos I always had with me would come. They were that loyal to me.

Also, I'm sure you've heard of a certain Mario...? That annoying, lowly plumber that somehow stomps all over us? The one who humiliates us? Aah, how I hate that plumber...so once I was free, guess what? We'd build a mansion. Ghosts gather strength when they grow in numbers, and believe me, I've got numbers. We'd build it in, ehh, probably a single night. Then we'd send an invitation to the Mario brothers, asking them to come, saying they'd won a mansion in a contest. Naturally, they never entered a contest, but it would never cross their minds. The living are that stupid, I suppose. They would come, and we would stick them in portraits, forever! And I would stare and stare at that helpless Mario for ages...

I saw a small, white face sticking out of the wall in front of me. I had a grand room all to myself. It had a magnificent gold floor and bright red curtains on the sides of my frame. If I wasn't stuck in this horrible portrait, I might actually have enjoyed it. The ghostly face was a Boo. One of my servants. Here to set me free.

"King Boo?" the Boo asked. I, of course, didn't answer. "I'm going to set you free. You all free. Right?"

Another Boo appeared through the wall. If ghosts could bound, this one certainly was. That strange Boo of mine was certifiably nuts.

"Eew! Take a bath, LimBooger!" the Boo said, whizzing around the room.

"Eew, quit acting stupid, Boo B. Hatch," LimBooger shot back. "How do we save King Boo?"

"What's all the noise?"

LimBooger and Boo B. Hatch froze. (For Boo B. Hatch, freezing is a very hard thing to do. He is to be commended for it.) I watched from my portrait the door to my room opening. In came the little professor E. Gadd. He was shocked when he saw both of the Boos in the room. He dashed off, probably to get his infernal Poltergust 3000--a vacuum designed solely for the purpose of sucking us ghosts up and either making them disappear or keeping strong ghosts to turn into portraits. Boo B. Hatch rocketed off after the professor first. LimBooger followed suit. I didn't know what was going on, but I heard a lot of booms and bangs. The two ghosts reappeared in my room with triumphant looks on their faces.

"What'cha carrying, Boo B. Hatch?" LimBooger asked, glancing at the ghost's white arm.

The Boo lifted his arm to show a booklet. "This is what I knocked the professor out with. I know, small, isn't it!? I'm like Kung Boo! I can take down a charging--"

"Wait a minute." LimBooger snatched the booklet from him and glanced inside, skimming his eyes over the pages. "This is the booklet to the big rig out there. ...It says we can turn portraits back into the ghosts they were...King Boo! We've found the way to bring you back!!"

No duh, I thought coldly. They grabbed my portrait, and through the "big rig" I went. It still hurt, being zapped, stomped, and whizzed around, but finally I was free.

"Thank you," I told the two more-than-happy Boos with as much elegance as I could muster. "There are other ghosts stuck in portraits back in that room. Let's free them all! I have a plan..."

Another Boo faced appeared through the wall. And another. And another. Soon, all 35 Boos were here. (15 of them formed Boolossus, who was stuck inside a portrait.) With a whole lot of work and ghostly sweat, we got all of the ghosts out. The hulking Boolossus looked please to see me.

"I have a plan," I repeated. "And it will involve all of you. I'm sure you all have heard of that annoying Mario, right?"

Angry faces appeared in the crowd of ghosts at once. Except for one; I believe she was a fortune-teller...

"I've got a way to get rid of him and put him out of the picture forever. Or, rather, into the picture...if you know what I mean..."

Some of them got it. Others tried to think on it. Didn't matter.

"We're going to build a mansion! Overnight! Then we'll trick the Mario brothers and be rid of them forever!!"