An Inconvenient Comfort

Summary: And with that last plea, Nathan let go of Rachel's wrist, undertaken by an undeniable arousal. With so much left to ponder, he fell into a sequence of ecstasy, bliss, and betrayal. 4x05; alternative telling.

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my soul.

A/N: This story jumps off at the beginning of 4x05; the episode where Haley reveals that she's pregnant and Nathan goes to visit Rachel.

He was always a wandering soul; doing whatever he was told or looking out for the best interest of his loved ones, putting his own aside. He could feel his whole life fall into place for those 10 seconds he believed he had it all figured out. But it all crashed into pieces as he rejoiced to his wife, Haley.

"Haley!" Nathan screamed across the hall, calling his wife out from the bathroom. His arms were wide open and his grin was reaching from ear to ear.

"I'm going to Duke!" before he could exhale properly, Haley spoke.

"I'm pregnant."

This couldn't be happening. That small glimmer of candlelight across the cold, dark alley was just blown out in an instant. His smile fell into an emotionless glare.

"It's not Brooke. It's me." Haley said, following nervous laughter in hopes of lightening the awkward atmosphere.

The ground beneath Nathan shook as he was overwhelmed with emotion. Stiffened and almost robotic, he sat down on the barstool and put his head down. Haley approached him in half smiles and short breaths. She placed her hand on his shoulder and showed some more teeth when he looked up at her.

"We're pregnant." She emphasized on we're and stumbled on pregnant.

Before Nathan could even question himself if this moment was a dream or not, his phone started ring. Rachel's name lit up on sub LCD and Haley's half smiles turned into a frown.

Haley grew impatient for a human reaction from Nathan. Anything.

"Nathan?"

He gently swept Haley's hand off his shoulder and rose from his barstool. Without another breath, he walked out the door and left Haley-and her tears-behind.

--

"Hey." Nathan entered, robotic in tone.

"Hi." Rachel followed with a slick grin across her face.

Her room was dim. Drapes covered every window and every lamp was off. She lit the room with scented candles.

"I know we should be at school but I really wanted to talk to you," Rachel reminded Nathan it was only 8 in the morning and he already had the worst day of his life.

"… About the accident." she continued, motioning him to sit next to her in bed.

Nathan, like a well-trained dog, obeyed. She scooted a little closer to him. He sighed but his muscles were relaxed. His eyes were focused on the door in front of him.

"I feel like we're connected somehow. Like we're the only two people in the planet trying to understand this. And… well…" she scooted as close to Nathan as possible. She could hear him exhale deeply.

"I thought that maybe we can help each other through it." she finished, gazing deep into his dry, emotionless eyes.

She placed her hand on Nathan's face, digging her nails into his short hair. He looked at her, unfocused and unresponsive. She could smell his cool breath as she moved her face closer to his. And in an instant, their lips connected. She puckered in hopes that he would kiss her back but he didn't budge. She broke the kiss and chuckled under her breath.

"Was it bad?" Rachel asked in her most innocent tone.

Nathan, as cold and emotionless as ever, shook his head.

Rachel fiddled her fingers underneath his shirt. She knew her hands were clammy from her daily morning shower but it had no effect on him. She firmly pressed her hand against his left chest and stared up at him dreamily. Not even his heartbeat had risen.

"You're so calm." Rachel exclaimed, still rubbing his bare chest underneath his shirt.

Her warm lips pressed against his neck gently. She took slow traveling kisses up to his ear until she was nibbling on the helix of it.

"I can make you feel so much better, Nathan." her curious hands started traveling up his leg. She paused on his thigh and smiled when he looked away.

She went in for another unrequited kiss on the lips.

"Do you want to touch?" Rachel asked, grabbing Nathan's hand.

She took Nathan's hand and placed it on her thigh, slowly moving it up her shirt. Once his hands reached her desired destination she no longer had to control them.

"I want you… I need you." Rachel claimed, unzipping his pants to return the favor.

Nathan grabbed her by the wrist before she touched him. He gazed at her with humane emotions for the first time that morning. His eyes alone told a million stories. Rachel noticed lust, anger, sadness, and desperation in his face.

"Rachel…" he was still completely lifeless in his speech.

His thumb slowly began to caress Rachel's wrist as he held it in his willful grip.

"Please, Nathan. I can help you through this."

And with that last plea, Nathan let go of Rachel's wrist, undertaken by an undeniable arousal. With so much left to ponder, he fell into a sequence of ecstasy, bliss, and betrayal.

--

It was moments like this when Rachel hated herself. There was nothing like culmination to make someone realize what they're actually doing. She watched Nathan, confused as ever, as he zipped up his pants and put his shoes on. She stood up from her knees and sat next to him on the bed.

"Maybe it's best if we don't speak on what just happened." Nathan said, breaking the silence as he stood up from the bed.

He turned to look at Rachel, who looked like a deer in headlights with her head down. For a change of events, Rachel was the one who couldn't face Nathan. He hated seeing her this way. He knew that guilt was eating at her as much as it was eating at him. He tucked her shining red hair behind her ears and curled the right corners of his mouth, giving her a lifeless smile.

"See you at school?" Nathan asked, turning before shutting her door completely.

Rachel nodded and inhaled dramatically, remembering that she has to prepare for another day of high school.

Walking down the empty school halls during class hours was an activity Rachel was familiar of. She took a quick glance through the window of her 1st period class while scurrying through the door to make it to the girl's bathroom.

In a stall, Rachel cradled herself in fetal position on top of the bathroom toilet. She recapped her entire morning in an attempt to break out of her overawed stage. Just like Nathan, she had become a beautiful statue, free of emotions through a series of events. Nathan was everything she wanted. So why is her throat closing and why can't she stop this downfall of tears from streaming through her red eyes?

She exited the stall with her eyes as dry as they'll ever be and she watched herself in the mirror.

"Pathetic." She whispered to herself before preening in the mirror in her usual egotistical manner.

She fluffed her hair and wiped her cheeks dry but her eyes were still filled with sadness; sadness that she can see through her vainglorious posture. As she forced a smile that contrasted her welling eyes, Haley walked through the bathroom door. Rachel took one glance at her through the mirror and hung her eyes in shame.

"You're speechless?! What happened? The cat-or should I say dick-got your tongue?" Haley rejoiced half playful, half rivalrous. She had no idea how true that questioning statement was.

Rachel kept her mouth shut, looking in every other direction besides Haley's. She aimlessly toyed with the sink and took hardly any breaths while Haley made her way through the stall.

"What's wrong today, bitch? You're tiny brain ran out of comebacks?" Haley asked through the trinkling noises coming from her stall.

"Ha!" Rachel responded halfheartedly, trying her hardest to hide the pain in her voice.

Haley exited the stall and glared at Rachel through the mirror.

"Seriously, what's wrong?" Haley said, growing impatient for an insult.

Rachel lifted her head and gave Haley a look through the mirror. Haley immediately noticed that Rachel wasn't in a normal state of mind so she took a few steps closer to her, being very cautious with every step and looking to make sure Rachel didn't respond negatively to any of them.

"Hey?" Haley said in a genuinely concerned tone.

She touched the back of Rachel's shoulder and gave a concerning smile.

"I'm so sorry!" Rachel said, turning to Haley in a face full of tears.

"About that Nathan stuff?" Haley asked in a shocked tone.

Rachel slightly nodded and looked at Haley in a hard gaze. She opened her mouth in an attempt to come clean but nothing came out.

"Come on, that's so last week." Haley announced in a comedic tone. "It's not like you had a chance with him anyway." Haley continued, following the sentence with an abundance of dramatic scoffs and 'pfft's.

"Yeah…" Rachel agreed, lying with tearful eyes.

"So wipe that egg of your face and go to class," Haley mothered, passing Rachel a box of napkins she kept in her purse. "Slut."

Rachel had never seen this concerned side of Haley. The moment was a lot shorter than it sounds in theory but it wasn't a forgettable one. Had Haley almost considered Rachel an acquaintance? Not only was she a slut but now she was a backstabber.

--

School was long and vague for Nathan, as always. After spending the entire day avoiding both Haley and Rachel, he was exhausted. He walked through the apartment door in a sluggish manner and threw his backpack on the floor beside the couch. He crashed there and sighed unhappily as he fell into a dreary nap.

He didn't know how long he laid there napping but the feeling of someone stroking his hair woke him up. As he opened his eyes he fell in love with Haley all over again. Her beauty was unexplainable and that warming smile was better than waking up to the smell of foldgers.

"Hey, sleepyhead." Haley welcomed, still stroking his hair as she sat beside him.

"Oh, and you can't leave stuff hanging around on the floor anymore. I'm pregnant. Remember?" she joked, pointing to his backpack where he left it..

An overwhelming waterfall of guilt flooded through Nathan's body as those last 3 words registered into his mind. He spent hours avoiding and ignoring what he just did and now he's facing his priority problem right in the eye. He looked up at Haley and held back all the tears that were trying to escape his eyes.

How could he do this to her?

"Haley…" his voice choked as he spoke to her for the first time since that morning. "I have something to tell you…"

A/N: If anyone is curious to know if any other characters will have a part in this story… of course they will! I just need to think of a convenient way of telling other people's stories… like Brooke's.

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