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psyche b

14. Connections

Bethany came back to herself slowly. Red was still over her and inside her. His lips teased over her neck and then up to her mouth. He pressed forward lightly, drawing a softly mewling sound from Bethany. Her head was still spinning. Her muscles quivered around him, her hands stroked his skin, exploring the planes of his back and sides.

He rested on his right arm, his left hand stroked her thigh, holding it around his waist. Bethany started to tremble.

"Love being inside you." His voice rumbled next to her ear. A deep blush colored Bethany's cheeks. She had no idea how to respond, so she simply remained silent and held him close, fighting her urge to try and squirm away.

The intimacy of it was powerful and frightening. She felt each and every quiver that went through his body, answering involuntarily with her own little aftershocks. She could feel him soften and retreat from her body as clearly as she felt his lips on hers. With each moment that passed, Bethany grew more accustomed to this physical demonstration of his ownership of these moments. That realization brought its own kind of calm.

When that deep contact was finally broken, it felt as if a barrier was gone, and the rest of the world came rushing back, whether she wanted it to or not. He settled next to her and Bethany snuggled against his side, her body letting her know the myriad of places that ached. She knew some of it was probably because she was still recovering. She wondered if some of it was just a consequence of being with Red. If it was, she decided she could live with it. She smiled a little and let her fingers drift over his chest and down to his hip, mapping the thick muscles there with her fingertips.

"What?" His tail draped over her back and wrapped lazily around her leg. Without looking at him she could hear the little smile in his voice.

"Thinking how much I missed this when I was in the lab."

"We coulda done this in the lab," he said.

"We could not!" She laughed softly.

"Sure we could." He insisted. "Course Blue would've had a heart attack or somethin'."

Bethany laughed a little louder. "I don't think he would have been the only one."

His arm tightened around her and a comfortable silence grew. Before long, Bethany started to feel a tension creeping into his body. "I didn't...ya know...bite you again, did I?" His lips brushed the shell of her ear as he spoke.

"No, not like last time." She smiled when she felt him relax again. She kissed the hollow of his throat. The low moan came out like a deep purr. Bethany smiled.

His left hand wandered over her back and side. Bethany's fingers resumed their tracing of his chest.

"Bath?" He asked finally.

"Yes," Bethany said without thinking. When she felt him get up, more of the hazy pleasure slid away. "Wait, no. I can't get in the tub." She said, opening her eyes fully for the first time since she kissed him.

"Ya could before," he sat down again.

"I know, and I want to again, but I'm not supposed to sit in the tub with this dressing on my leg." She knelt behind him her arms around his shoulders. "Settle for a shower?"

"This time." He smirked and grasped her hand.

"Tell Abe, not me." She chuckled and kissed his ear before she sat back. She held the sheet over her breasts. "You can go first."

"First? You're comin' with me," he said.

"Red-"

"C'mon, I ain't askin' for a strip tease." He turned and tugged the sheet away from her breasts. His fingertips traced her curves while his lips teased hers.

"Okay," she said. "But I have to cover the dressing. I'll join you when I finish." Her lips feathered over his.

"How long?" His fingertip traced her nipple. She bit her lip and moaned.

"Not fair," she said. He pinched the firm peak a little harder.

"Sure it is. How long?" He grinned.

"The stuff's in my bag. Five minutes maybe." She nipped his lower lip.

"'Kay, but if you're not in there after five minutes, I'm comin' out to get ya." He gave her nipple a final pinch and started toward the bathroom.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Bethany had a hard time getting into the shower, but Red did his best to put her at ease. It didn't work completely, but she didn't have the urge to run away either. When they finished, he dried off and tossed the towel on a pile in the corner. Bethany wrapped hers around herself.

"You comin'?" he asked, not bothering with clothing.

"In a minute. I need to take my meds before I forget." She kissed the middle of this chest.

"Okay." He kissed the top of her head and left her alone in the bathroom.

Bethany swallowed the large antibiotic capsules and then took a couple of ibuprofen to counter the ache that had settled in her lower half. She assumed that would go away eventually as she adjusted to him. In the meantime she got the impression that she better make sure that she always had some kind of pain reliever in her bag. At least she wasn't bleeding. She counted that as progress.

She took off the towel and glanced in the mirror. There was a bruise developing just above her right nipple, but that didn't really surprise her. The look of the mark on her shoulder had changed, though. Several places seemed darker, and the very centers of those dark places were raised. She pressed on the raised places and the places between, but neither was painful. The raised places were quite firm to the touch though, and she wondered if it could be a side effect of the medication. She decided that she might ask Abe about it in the morning if she remembered. He wanted to change the dressing on her leg and draw more blood anyway. She found her nightshirt from the bag and pulled it over her head.

Negotiating through the dark room was something Bethany still didn't trust herself to do completely. She was certain that someday she would step on one of the cats, or trip over some item that Red had left in the middle of the floor. She moved slowly, sliding her toes along the floor to feel the lay of the land before she committed to a step. Eventually she reached the bed. Bethany sat down gratefully.

"Off," he said.

"What?" Bethany stood up, unsure of what he meant. For a terrifying moment she was sure that he wanted her to leave.

"The shirt," he said. "Take it off. I like feelin' your skin against mine." His voice had that growly tone it got just before he fell asleep.

Bethany pulled the shirt off. If she argued with him she wasn't going to win. She wasn't even sure she wanted to win really. There was something comforting about having him wrapped around her with nothing between them. She lay on her side, with her back against his chest. His arm wrapped around her waist, holding her close.

"Better?" she asked.

"Much."

Bethany felt surrounded by the scent of his soap as well the warmth of his body. She liked it better when he smelled like cigars, but she certainly wasn't going to complain. She closed her eyes and let sleep claim her.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Hellboy knew it was morning and it was too damn early to be up. He didn't know how he knew those things. His eyes were still closed. He was still smelling Bethany's strawberry shampoo. He had no idea what had awakened him, but when he figured it out he had the vague notion that he was probably going to smash it.

Bethany moaned softly in her sleep. He held her closer but recognized it as one of the little sounds she would make from time to time when she was sleeping deeply. A little smile tugged at his lips. He liked being able to read her so well, even when she was unconscious.

His fingertips moved over her tummy, up to her waist and down over her hip to her thigh, tracing the contours of her body. Her breath caught in her throat and goosebumps stood up on her skin. When she sighed, he could hear the small smile on her lips. His fingers became bolder, teasing her ribcage and then the undersides of her breasts. Asleep or not, her nipples responded. He tried to suppress the low growl that formed in his throat, but he wasn't successful. The sound just made her arch back against him, feeding his own growing arousal.

He thought about waking her, but he equated that with being forced to stop touching her. If he stopped touching her, she might disappear, as if she had been made of ether and dreams all along. His fingers drifted down over her thigh to her knee. His fingers splayed as they stroked that back of her thigh.

She had started to breathe a little faster as one fingertips approached the wet warmth of her core. The next time he stroked her leg, he brought his hand back up so that his finger brushed against her outer lips. The dampness he felt there drew another small growl from him. Bethany whimpered softly, squirming away from him and ending up mostly on her stomach a foot or so away. Her legs still open, her scent still teasing him. Before she could get away again, he moved over her, his body holding her in place carefully.

His fingers moved down to explore her again, this time his fingertips stroked and explored her quivering opening.

"Red?" The terrified squeak in her voice pulled him back to himself.

"S'okay." His voice was a low purr next to her ear. His mouth traveled down her neck to her shoulder, waiting to feel her tension release. His fingers kept up their intimate teasing, because he couldn't quite make himself stop.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Bethany had been dreaming about Red. Her mind kept bringing her back to the beach in Hawaii, only this time they went further than hungry kisses and tentative touches. She thought she was still dreaming when she felt him start to tease her moist flesh. She went with it. Whether it was dream or reality it was adding to the general feeling of growing pleasure. Waking up pinned under him was downright terrifying though. His reassurance did little to calm her.

She started to struggle for breath. "Please let me up." She whimpered softly, feeling tears spring to her eyes. She had no idea where this fear was coming from. He had never forced her to do anything, and he had never intentionally hurt her. He wasn't hurting her now, but for some reason she felt more vulnerable to him than she ever had before.

"I ain't gonna hurt ya." His lips and tongue caressed her neck, her shoulder, the shell of her ear. His fingers were doing magical things between her legs, making her head spin.

"Then let me turn-" she said, trying to keep her voice calm. His finger started teasing the nub he found hidden in her folds. For a few minutes, she lost track of everything else. "-turn over." She finally finished.

"No." He nipped the side of her neck lightly. "Want you this way."

"But-"

Two fingers pushed inside her. Bethany grabbed handfuls of the sheets, her muscles tight around the invading digits. She moaned and pressed back against his hand.

"Not so bad, huh?" She could hear the little smirk in the purring voice. He pressed his erection against her hip.

His fingers continued to stroke, finding even the most secret places inside her body that yearned for his touch.

"Still scared?" he asked. His teeth closed lightly on her earlobe.

"A little." Bethany confessed. He moved his lower half away from hers, and peppered little kisses over the back of her shoulder.

"Get on your knees," he said. The thought of resisting didn't even cross Bethany's pleasure-clouded mind. His upper body kept her head and shoulders immobile enough that she knew she wasn't meant to move either one. She got onto her knees, his fingers still moving inside her, bringing her so close to the edge, but not allowing her to tumble over.

When he moved behind her, a protest found its way to the tip of her tongue. He was inside her before she could say anything. The novel angle and the swift entry brought out a pained cry instead. His left hand stroked her side and hip softly.

His weight was off of her upper body, she could have moved if she'd wanted to. She could have struggled with him or told him to stop. Neither of those things occurred to her once that deep connection was established. She got lost in his rhythm, her moans a counterpoint to his deep growls. Her hands dug into the sheets as if they were the only thing keeping her from being completely consumed by his intensity. Twice her pleasure pulled her deep into a hazy, inner landscape of ecstasy. Each time she was sure she would never emerge. The second time, the only thing that reached her there was his roar of release.

She didn't know how long he stayed draped over her back, but she knew she was sorry when he lay down next to her again, even though he gathered her into his arms immediately. She lay with her head on his shoulder, her arm draped around his waist, her leg resting over his.

"Sorry I scared ya," he said. His voice was barely above a whisper.

"I don't know why I was so scared," she said. His hand massaged her bottom. "I just felt so...helpless. I guess I am anyway, but it seemed different at first."

His hand stopped its gentle kneading. "You mad at me?"

Bethany smiled a little. "No. Maybe feeling helpless with you isn't such a bad thing sometimes. It's just new."

She knew Red fell asleep again before she did, because she drifted off to his snoring. His hand was still on her bottom, it was a possessive gesture that she knew should have bothered her, but for some reason it had the opposite effect.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Bethany woke up before he did. She pulled on her nightshirt before heading for the bathroom. After covering the dressing, she got in the shower. She was sure that Red had the most wonderful shower she had ever been in. The body sprays were too high to hit their intended areas, but they delivered wonderfully hot water at a stronger pressure than she had experienced before. She was relatively sure that the water got hotter too. Bethany wondered if the water had seemed cold to him last night.

Bethany thought she heard the bathroom door open. She glanced over her shoulder and saw a red form through the frosted glass.

"Morning." She said.

She kept her back to the door, after a few minutes, he joined her.

He bent down to kiss her. His tail wrapped around her waist, and he used it to pull her closer. "Mornin'. Why didn't you wake me up?" He still hadn't let her go. Bethany smiled against his chest.

"You looked so peaceful. Besides, you're the one who did all the work earlier." Bethany smiled, but couldn't control the blush that spread across her cheeks.

"Yeah, but I don't like wakin' up without you."

"I'll make more of a commotion next time," she said. For a minute, they both just stood still under the water. "The water's going to get cold."

"Nah. I been in here for more'n an hour before," he said. In the little silence that followed, Bethany could feel him looking at her.

She looked up at him. The little smirk on his face was filled with mischief. "What?"

He grinned and started pressing her back toward the wall. "We could-"

"No we couldn't." She giggled and squirmed. He held her still easily.

"Aw." He attempted a little pout, but on his heavy features it looked more like a scowl. "Why not?"

She kissed the middle of his chest. "Because, I'm supposed to be resting and recovering."

"I'll let ya rest after." He advanced again, this time Bethany's back ended up against the wall.

"Red-" His mouth brushed over hers. She put her hands against his chest.

"Suppose I can let you recover a little more." He kissed her again, his tail held her tighter for a long moment. Bethany sighed against his mouth.

"Thanks," she said, a contented smile on her lips.

He picked up her shower puff and squeezed some of her berry scented shower gel onto it. "You gonna see Blue again this morning?"

She moved her hair aside for him. "Yeah. He wants more blood. I swear he should just install a faucet."

He chuckled and washed her back.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Just before noon, Bethany started down to the lab. Red had wanted her to go with her, but there had been someone hovering around her for days. She promised to stop in after she was done and that placated him enough to let her walk out alone. When she arrived, she was surprised that Abe wasn't there. She went over to the library, but he wasn't there either. She sat down and started scanning a newspaper.

"Bethany," he said. She turned toward the tank. "I was about to send Agent Davis to find you."

She smiled a little. "Well it isn't like I was going to sneak out and run a marathon. We just slept in a little. You did tell me to rest."

"Precisely. Rest." He gave her a meaningful look. "I'll meet you in the lab." He was already swimming away. Bethany went back to the lab to wait for him.

She sat on the uncomfortable gurney in the middle of the room and wondered how she had ever managed to fall asleep on the thing. Abe came in a few minutes later.

"Blood or dressing?" she asked.

"Blood first, I think," he said. Bethany pushed her sleeve up while he gathered his supplies. She let him position her arm.

"Thank you," she said.

He looked at her curiously. "For what?"

"Saving my life for one thing." Bethany winced as the needle went into her arm. "And for not getting completely fed up with putting me back together again in one way or another."

His eyes held hers for a moment. "The world is very cruel to those deemed to be different. The least we can do is be kind to each other." He took the needle out of her arm. Bethany held a piece of gauze over the small puncture until he placed a piece of tape over it to hold it.

"Have you found an antibiotic that kills the bacteria yet?" she asked, dispelling the silence that grew between them.

"Not yet. I'm starting to consider using some more exotic combinations of things." He looked at her, considering. "Could you lay on your side please?"

Bethany lay down on her side and pulled her loose shorts out of the way, exposing the dressing. She hated this part. As soon as she had gotten well enough to care she would send Red out of the room when Abe was cleaning and re-dressing the wound. It bothered him to see her in pain, and it bothered her to let him see her so weak. He took the tape off carefully.

"How much longer do we have to do this?" She was gripping the side of the gurney so hard her knuckles were white.

"I'm not certain, though it is looking much better." He worked quickly, but thoroughly cleaning the open wound with stinging antiseptic. "Why did you ask about the antibiotics? Are your symptoms returning?"

Bethany whimpered and squeezed her eyes shut. "No, but I think I'm having some kind of weird reaction."

"Almost finished." His tone was reassuring. "What kind of a reaction?"

"Bumps on my skin in that bruised spot where Red bit me." She took deep breaths and tried to be still.

"Just that one spot?" he asked. His hand paused for a minute.

"That's the only spot I noticed. It's not itchy or painful or anything, but it did just kind of appeared there overnight. What else could it be?" The pause gave Bethany a chance to catch her breath.

"Would you show it to me after we're finished here?" he asked.

"Sure."

Bethany shuddered and relaxed when he put a soothing antibiotic ointment on the wound. "Why can't you just use that?" she asked.

"Because it doesn't clean away any debris that's accumulated in between dressing changes. Is it more comfortable?"

"Yeah, the other stuff burns, this makes it feel better." She waited while he put a new dressing over it. "I thought the antibiotics are supposed to be taking care of that."

"I think if this were the only infection you were dealing with, they probably would be enough, especially after three days of getting them intravenously. With the other bacteria though, I think the limits of the drug and your immune system are rather stretched."

"Can you raise the dose?" she asked. The sustained tension in her muscles and then release of it left her feeling exhausted all over again.

"Not safely, no." He placed the last piece of tape. Bethany sat up again. "Do you need a moment to arrange your clothing so that I can see your shoulder?"

"No." She pulled the long-sleeved shirt off over her head, leaving her pink tank top in place. She moved the strap down off her shoulder and turned her head a little, giving him a better view. He leaned in closer, curiosity burning in his eyes.

"That is most certainly not a reaction to the medication." He ran his fingertip over the raised parts. "Is there any discomfort?"

"No. I feel you touching me, but it doesn't hurt."

He pressed firmly. "Now?"

"No," she said. When he was probing it, she thought it felt like the raised parts had gotten larger, but she wasn't entirely sure of that.

"May I photograph it?"

"Is it that interesting?"

"If it continues to change I'd like to have a record of the progression."

Bethany shrugged. "Okay."

He took a digital camera out of a drawer. Bethany turned her face away and waited.

"You're stretching the skin, could you turn your head back toward me?" he asked. Bethany complied. "That's good."

She was still while he took the picture. When he finished, she ran her fingertips over the raised spots and realized that they hadn't gotten any larger, but it felt like they had tails coming off of them.

"Can I see that picture you just took?" she asked.

"Of course, let me put it on the computer screen." She followed him over to the computer and waited while he downloaded the picture. When it popped up on the screen she was surprised by what she saw. The several dark bumps were still there, but now there were the beginnings of raised lines coming off of them like tails, one had three, one had six, the rest had four. The deep purple color of her mark was changing too. The raised spots and lines had continued to darken, while the color had begun to recede slightly from the other places.

"The last time I noticed the bumps those lines weren't there. Just the places where they crossed." She covered the mark with her hand.

"What were you doing just before you noticed the change?"

Bethany blushed and looked away. "I was in the shower."

"You've showered several times since you got the mark to begin with. What else?" He was looking at the screen.

"I got ready for bed." Bethany said, her blush deepening.

"Before, or after you and Red were intimate?" he asked. When Bethany didn't answer, he turned to look at her.

She rolled her eyes. "If you knew, why did you ask?"

"Because I wasn't completely sure if you had, until now," he said. "This morning too?"

"So do you know what it is or not?" Bethany tried to hide her embarrassment in an annoyed tone.

"I've never seen anything like it before, so we'll have to wait and see if it develops more fully." His tone was as calm as ever. "What did Red say about it?"

Bethany sighed and sat down, one hand still over the mark. "I don't think he noticed. He didn't notice doing it the first time and that was pretty dramatic. Why should he notice subtle changes now?"

"You may have a point." He studied the image on the screen. "Does he remember doing it?"

"I don't know. He knows he did it, but I don't if he really remembers doing it or just the aftermath. We don't really talk about it all that much." She stretched and pulled her other shirt back on. "Are we finished? I'm starting to feel like I want a nap."

"Of course. Come back tomorrow morning."

Bethany went back to Red's room, intending to just stop by and tell him that she was fine before going to take a nap. "So nap here," he said.

She didn't have it in her to argue with him. He was stretched out on the couch, so she lay down with him, half on his chest, her leg draped over his. He fell asleep first. The rumble of his snoring and the warmth of his body lulled her to sleep.

*~*~*~*~*~*

An hour later, when Hellboy woke up, Bethany was still sleeping deeply. She had a little smile on her face, and sometimes her hand would tense slightly, holding onto him. He didn't think he'd ever seen her sleep so much, but Blue said that she probably would for the next couple of days. If he hadn't had anything else on his mind, he would have just stayed there with her and probably caught up on some sleep himself. The thing with Manning had him too pissed off to not chase down an answer. He knew where he was going to start too.

He started carefully moving out from under Bethany. He almost made it.

"Wha's goin' on?" she asked. He could see the confusion in her eyes.

"I'm gonna go see Blue for a few minutes."

"'Kay." She started to get up.

"Where you goin'?" he asked. He could see that she still wasn't fully awake. He sat down next to her, keeping her in place.

"Back to my room." She leaned into him.

"You don't have to go." He kissed the top of her head.

"You sure?"

"Yeah. Lay down."

"Need a blanket." She tried to get up again. Even though he could see that she was more awake now he kept her where she was.

"I'll get it," he said. "Lay down."

She did. He pulled one of the blankets off the bed and covered her with it. "Thanks." Her voice was soft, and her eyes closed as she pulled it around herself.

He went down to the library and found the merman floating in his tank, listening to an opera.

"We gotta talk, Blue."

"Could you turn the music off first?"

Hellboy stopped the CD and dragged a chair over to the side of the tank. He wasn't sure if he'd sit in it long, but he didn't want to just stand there either. He sprawled out in the chair. "What's Manning's problem?"

"What makes you think-"

"I heard you tell him you knew it wasn't really about Bethany. I wanna know what it's really about."

"You have to promise me that if you punch something it won't be the glass."

He knew the merman was only half kidding. "Fine, I promise."

"Well that's reassuring." The sarcasm came through clearly.

"C'mon, when was the last time I did that?"

"Before or after we moved into this facility?"

"Yeah, but it's been at least-"

"Thankfully the last time we weren't in here. I can only imagine the damage to the books-"

"Okay, you made your point," he said, feeling like a naughty child. "I promise. Just tell me."

"It's about you."

"Me?" Hellboy was genuinely shocked.

"Do you remember what you were like after Liz left?"

Hellboy shrugged. "Myers says I was a pain in the ass."

"It was more than that," the merman said. "You were impossible to be around. You didn't bathe, you didn't sleep, you were so wrapped up in anger and sadness that you couldn't see anything else."

"And he liked that?"

"Not that part of it. He liked the fact that you became positively suicidal in the field. You went in alone, no matter what the situation, keeping his agents out of harm's way. You finished it and got out. He thinks now you're too concerned about Bethany's safety, and that slows you down and puts his agents at risk. He thinks that if Bethany leaves you'll revert to that same state and he'll have a 'more useful commodity'." The contempt in the merman's voice was clear.

Hellboy felt like someone had punched him in the gut. He was used to Manning fucking with his life, but he wasn't going to let him or anyone else fuck with Bethany's. He got up and started for the door.

"Where are you going?" Blue asked.

"To hit somethin'," he said. The words came out with an angry growl. He stopped to check on Bethany and went to the gym. He needed to work through being pissed off so he could think.