March the 12th, 2007.
JPOV
I walked upstairs to Edward's room, asking him if he'd seen Alice. I had returned early from hunting a while ago, and now couldn't find Alice, my pixie, my soul mate.
I didn't bother knocking. I knew he wasn't doing anything I could interrupt. Ever since he left Bella, he did nothing but mope, although it had gotten better the last few years. It was really getting on my nerves, because his bad mood spread to me, then spread to everyone else, and then I would feel that, too.
I went into his room and froze, not thinking anything at all. I'd found Alice. She was making out with Edward like her life depended on it. And he wasn't resistant at all. In fact, it looked more like he instigated it. He was shirtless; she was in the act of removing her top. I couldn't move, hell, I couldn't breathe. My mind attempted to protect itself by consoling me that it was for the best I didn't need to breathe anyway.
His head jerked up, eyes wide, as he read the rogue thought. Following his sudden lack of attention to her, Alice looked up as well.
"Shit," she whispered. I turned on my heel, completely disgusted with them, and myself. Them, because Edward had left the woman who loved him in an insane attempt to 'protect' her, and then… having an affair with my wife…no, my ex-wife, I amended. I wasn't paying attention to where I was going and smacked into Emmett. He looked at me oddly, no doubt picking up on the waves of apathy I was sending out.
"Jasper? What's wrong?" he asked.
Just then, Alice ran down the stairs and then stopped, taking in the scene.
"I don't know. Let's ask Alice, shall we?" I said, aiming to wound.
She flinched. "Jasper, I…"
Emmett just seemed more confused than ever.
"How long, Alice?"
"Jasper…" This time it was Edward who spoke. I ignored him; leaving Bella, and now this… Needless to say, I wasn't in the best of moods with him.
"How long?"
"Three and a half years," she whispered, almost so I couldn't hear. Suddenly, I felt a wave of rage. I couldn't tell if it was from me, or from Emmett, who had caught on, and now looked like he wanted to kill something. If he did, I wasn't going to stop him.
"Three years, eight months," Edward corrected her.
I couldn't believe they'd been seeing each other, behind all our backs, without anyone realizing. Without me realizing. Then something clicked.
"Three years and eight months?" My eyes opened wide with outrage. "While you were still with Bella? Why, brother, I do believe that's a new low for you. Fucking hell, for anyone."
Emmett was growling now, and the sound brought Rosalie, Carlisle and Esme running.
"Emmett? Babe?" Rosalie asked, rubbing his arm. Emmett shook her off, and directed his attention to the guilty couple.
"If you two have any idea whatsoever of what's good for you, you will be gone by morning."
Carlisle looked shocked. So did Esme. "Emmett! How can you say such a thing?"
"Easily," he snarled. And then he was gone, a very confused looking Rosalie following.
"Don't listen to him," I said, with an expression of fake kindness. "You don't have to go. You can stay here." My tone hardened. "I'm leaving. Congratulations, you two. I hope you're very happy together."
I didn't bother going to my room to pack anything. There wasn't anything I felt like taking with me. I paused as I walked past Carlisle.
"Tell Emmett and Rose I'll miss them."
And then I was gone.
I had no idea where I was going of course. We had been living in Glens Falls, right in Adirondack Park, NY. All I knew was that I was going pretty much due west. The scenery moved past too quickly for me to absorb any details.
I was numb now, and glad of it. Numb… numbness was good, now. It prevented me from thinking about and analysing what had just happened
I kept running, pushing myself to keep going long after I should have stopped. Eventually I collapsed in the middle of a forest, and just lay there. Not thinking, not hoping, and not wishing. Just existing.
Four more days passed like that. Eventually, I stopped blocking everything out, and finally took in where I was.
In front of me, stood our old house in Forks. I fell to my knees as the pain I had been suppressing overwhelmed me. My body heaved with dry sobs; tears I could never ever let fall.
When I regained control of myself, I became aware that there was another scent all around me. It smelt familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. All I could make out was that it was recent. I breathed in, willing the scent to stay with me. It soothed me, calmed me. And right now, I needed all the soothing I could get.
I stood up again, at peace now, and turned away. It was far too obvious a place for me to stay. Although…
They wouldn't think to look nearby. If I wasn't here…
I turned around and started running again, towards Seattle.
BPOV
I was in my dressing room backstage, getting ready for my performance. I picked out a pair of figure hugging black jeans, with four inch heels, and a red PVC bustier. If Charlie was alive, I was sure he would have had a heart attack at the sight of me. But he wasn't, and so he couldn't.
I quite liked the outfit, myself. I was sure Alice would have approved, if she were here. I had turned to the Goth way of dress after Edward had left me, mostly to get shallow people to leave me alone. After a while, I had grown to like dressing like this. I had stopped being quite so scary, and settled for a subdued, elegant style. Except for when I sang at the club I now worked for. They liked the scary. So I gave them scary.
I walked out onstage, grinning at the uproar; they loved me. It was nice, being accepted for who I was, and what I could do. Sadly, this still included being unable to walk across a stable, flat surface without tripping, although it had gotten better in the last few years.
I put my mike on, and started to sing the songs I had picked out earlier today, dancing along.
I can hear the whistle, military train
I was dancing with my baby, in the summer rain
I can hear him saying "Oh, love is strange,
Come dance with me baby, in the summer rain."
I remember the rain pouring down
And we poured our hearts out as the train pulled out
I can see my baby waving from the train
It was the last time that I saw him in the summer rain
Oh my love it's you that I dream of
Oh my love, since that day
Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain
It doesn't matter what I do now
Doesn't matter what I say
Somewhere in my heart I'm always
Dancing with you in the summer rain
When I finished that song, I waited a moment, graciously accepting the applause, looking out over the audience. One person in particular caught my eye. He was tall, blonde, and extremely pale. It stirred a memory, one that I had locked away. Then it hit me. He looked just like Jasper.
Feeling a smile on my lips, I signalled to my DJ, and told him to play one more song. He tried to protest, but I cut him off with a pleading glance.
"Alright, alright, I'll do it. So pushy," he grumbled as he searched for the right disc.
I moved back to the centre of the stage and started to speak. "Since you're all such lovely people, and I love you all so much, I'll give you one more song, okay?"
Much cheering.
As the pounding music started to play, I didn't lose myself to the music the way I usually did. I was fully aware of where I was, and who I was. I caught myself glancing over to where 'Jasper' was often, hoping he'd recognize the significance of this song, and find it somewhat ironic, as I did.
I wanna love you but I better not touch
I wanna hold you but my senses tell me to stop
I wanna kiss you but I want it too much
I wanna taste you but your lips are venomous
Poison
You're poison running through my veins
Poison
And I don't wanna break these chains
I looked back at 'Jasper' only to see him laughing, bent double, clutching his sides.
Smiling, I continued to sing.