(The final chapter! It was rather short, but I liked it, so who cares. For all that read this thing, thank you so much. I'm glad you liked it too! QQ, here's your damn Near/OC ship, ya happy? Ah, right. Don't own. Love the ending, too.)

Mello was starting to worry. It wasn't that Clarence was killing them, at least, not yet, but...

"Beef stew?" Jenny echoed. Clarence nodded.

"My specialty! Try it, it's perfectly good!" Mello remembered Roger saying the exact same thing about salad... however, in that case, Roger hadn't been telling him to eat roasted child, so really, two ends of the spectrum here.

Jenny nodded. She sat down, and took a bite. Mello almost gasped, until she nodded, and stuck her tongue out. Potato. Okay. He could just eat around what had probably been some poor kid's arse. Lovely.

Mello nibbled on the celery, potatoes, and carrots lightly, as Clarence seemed to fully enjoy himself, biting heartily into the unknown meat chunks. Mello felt like he was going to vomit, but kept his cool.

Jenny ate mostly bread, which, hopefully, wasn't made from flour of ground-up fingernails or something, and finally said, "I'm full." Clarence nodded.

"Good, good. It's almost night time, now. Come on, we'll go see my office." The two had no choice but to follow him out of the kitchen, and downstairs into the basement.

/Stealing fairy faces, in all sorts of places, he's unknown and never shown, hiding in the dark spaces where light doesn't shimmer, and little by little making the dark grow dimmer.../

Mello shivered, and murmured, "It's really cold down here..." Clarence nodded.

"Indeed. It's quite beneficial to the thought system, you know." Mello nodded slowly, saying nothing.

"Guardian angel, wherever the hell you are, get off your ass and GUARD me already! I'm about to die! DO SOMETHING! If you do, I'll freaking sleep with Near if it makes you happy! JUST GET ME THE HELL OUT OF HERE!" Mello prayed silently.

"...Amen." He muttered as an afterthought. Jenny raised an eyebrow.

They had reached the bottom of the steps. Mello winced. Shit. His guardian angel was probably an alcoholic, and was passed out somewhere in heaven. Stupid fucker.

Clarence turned on the bare lightbulb.

"Oh god, how cliché. I'm sorry, are we in a B-movie?" Jenny thought.

/He nibbles their bones and makes them his own.../

Mello felt the odd sensation of cloth around his ankles, and bare skin getting cooled by the air, and even then, he didn't register this until Clarence had whipped him.

He bit back a scream, and managed to stutter, "Wh-why, ooou, ouuuw, that hurts!" Clarence smiled, and tore at Mello's shirt. He didn't even have time to be ashamed before Clarence started smacking him with the leather switch.

"Nothing personal. Tenderizing the meat." Mello had closed his eyes, so he only heard Jenny's muted gasp, and the sound of a belt buckle falling to the floor.

"From the inside out."

And then there was nothing but pain.

/the bad man under your bed, in your basement and your head, in your closet and shower, the man who comes out in the twilight hour.../

When he opened his eyes again, Clarence was gone, and Jenny was struggling to stand, blood gushing from in-between her legs.

"Can... can you stand?" She asked, trying to get up. Her body was a giant bruise; a sickly dark purple, and Mello suspected his own body was in the same state.

He looked down, and blushed. He was completely naked. Great... And he was, indeed, a massive human-shaped bruise.

"I think I can—aaah!" He hissed. Oh my god, his butt hurt like hell...

Jenny winced. "Oh, right... Sorry." Mello was hit with an epiphany.

"He... um, he... did that stuff to me, didn't he?" Genius or not, he was still too young to really comprehend that,

"Yeah, he raped you. ...If it makes you feel better, I didn't watch. He did it to me, too." She sounded rather matter-of-fact. He couldn't think about that right now. Because he, he'd... Mello sat back down again.

He'd... been, well, ra—

He shook his head. He wouldn't say it. Not now.

"When did he leave?" He asked Jenny, who thought for a second, before whispering, "About ten minutes ago. Said he needed to prepare." Mello nodded.

"Okay. As soon as he comes back down, jump him. Try to leave the chain on; maybe you can strangle him or something. Anyways, if not, go for his eyes. I'll help, but..." He smirked grimly.

"I don't think my ass is cooperating right now." Jenny nodded.

"Yeah, this bloody-vagina thing isn't helping much, either. Shit, I really hope that L dude gets here, and soon..."

They were, in fact, on their way. "Almost there... pull up the goddamned driveway! ROGER! Do not tell me you're actually considering ringing the doorbell!?" L roared, slamming his foot into the door.

"...We did remember to bring guns, correct?" Roger managed to make out. L sighed, and tossed him a Glock.

"If I wasn't here, there is an eighty-six percent chance of you all being dead right now... I swear..." He muttered, turning to Matt and Near.

"Listen to me. Find the basement, and get down there. We will deal with Clarence. Go! Now!" Both of them hauled it out of there. L nodded to Roger.

"Heard something in the kitchen. Stay quiet." Roger agreed, and the two started silently for the kitchen.

Matt found the door by the smell of blood. It stunk like mad, and the open door didn't help matters.

/The Pink-Boned Boogeyman goes where hope doesn't grow, and goes to what the mind won't show.../

He and Near ran down there as fast as possible, trying not to trip on the steps, or make noise.

"MELLO!" He hissed loudly, calling for the blonde as best he could.

Said blonde's head shot up. "Mattie?" He whispered.

Jenny looked up. "Hey! Hey! Chained up to your left, redhead!" The two snapped their heads left, and saw the two, naked, obviously abused, and both bleeding out of their lower orifices.

Matt had never been happier to see Mello in his entire life.

He rushed up to the boy, and tackled him, until Mello squeaked, "Bruises!" Matt pulled away, and kissed him full on the mouth, causing both Near and Jenny to stop in surprise.

"...Uh. Anyways, hey, you were right, Mello; I do look like mister albino-puffball here. Only with black hair. Nice to meet you, sheepie." He growled at her, and picked up a shirt.

"Put this between your legs. It'll help with the bleeding." He said in a soft tone, and Jenny smiled at him. She put her hand on his shoulder, and said quietly,

"I, um, don't know you that well, Near... but could I have a hug? This... uh, it hurts really bad..." She said in a quiet tone. Near nodded slowly, and hugged her gently, positioning the shirt better between her legs.

The two boys were staring at each other in amazement.

"...Did you just kiss me?"

"...Were you just raped?"

Matt nodded, as did Mello.

"Yeah, I just kissed you."

"Yeah, that asshole raped me."

And just like that, Mello burst into tears. "IT BLOODY HURTS!" He roared. Matt nodded.

"I know... please, come here. It's okay..." Mello collapsed into him, and sobbed, great fat tears that fell almost painfully slow down his cheeks. Matt stroked his hair gently.

"Hey, hey, don't worry... remember, I promised to get you back? I'm here... it's okay. I'll protect you." Mello looked up.

"Oh... good. My guardian angel wasn't drunk somewhere. Praise God." He snuffled.

Matt raised an eyebrow. Mello managed to laugh darkly. "Do I have to sleep with Near now? 'Cause I don't think my poor arse can handle much more of this shit." Matt shook his head.

"I have no idea what you're saying, and I don't goddamn care, I love you so much." He kissed Mello again, just a soft, gentle kiss, so childlike. Just what the two of them were, really.

Children.

Mello held Matt's hand, and nodded. "I love you, too." And they hugged, two scared little kids up against the boogeyman in all of our closets.

/ The Pink-Boned Boogeyman spirits children away, by the light of the moon and the dawn of the day.../

L saw Smith before he saw L. Roger's lip curled, and he almost burst in, but for L's quick shake of his head.

"No. Leave this to me."

He whipped around, and pointed the gun at Smith. The man looked up.

"Dear me, the boy's cavalry has arrived." He said smoothly, before pulling out his own gun.

L sighed, and fired one shot.

Smith swore, and clutched his arm, which was now bleeding profusely. L smirked, and went over to him. "Well, you're under arrest for being a supercilious asshole, for giving my third successor nightmares, for kidnapping my second successor, murder, and whatever the hell else I can pin on you, which would be quite a bit—"

Ryan Smith whipped around, and shot L point-blank.

He went over to L's body, and smirked down at the fallen detective.

L grinned shakily up at him. "Missed."

And with that, he got Smith right between the eyes.

"L! L! Are you all right?" L rolled an exasperated eyeball in Roger's direction.

"Seriously, Roger? I just got shot point-blank in the chest, NO I AM NOT BLOODY ALL RIGHT, CALL A DAMNED AMBULANCE!" The caretaker jumped.

"Right! Sorry!" He rushed over to the phone, and quickly dialed the emergency number.

L sighed. It would be nice to sleep right now... but he knew if he slept, he'd never wake up. So forget... it...

He sighed. Smith had reached his chest, sure... but he was positive that he'd missed the heart or any major arteries.

As the sound of sirens reached him, he smiled, and closed his eyes.

Mello was alright now.

That was all that mattered.

About an hour later, the entire group was in the hospital. L was going to be okay, though he was still in surgery; the bullet had indeed missed any major arteries.

Mello and Jenny were, of course, being fussed over by Roger, Matt, and Near.

Jenny opened a bleary eye. "Near, I would appreciate if you didn't use my body as your robot's battleground, thanks." The little white-haired boy shook his head, and twirled a strand of hair, grinning at her.

"Nope. You're even more fun to mess with than Mello." Jenny sighed. She held out a hand, and Near put a black robot in it.

"Rawr, I eat your babies!" She said quietly, stomping her robot on top of Near's. He smiled, and while the two continued to play, Matt was fussing over Mello like mad.

"Are you okay? Do you need another chocolate bar? Are you sure you don't need your pillow fluffed? I can go get chocolate cake from the cafeteria downstairs, do you want that? I'll do whatever you want, Mello!" The blonde rolled his eyes.

"No, no, no, no, and if you really will do whatever I want, kiss me." Matt grinned, and gave him a light kiss on the cheek. Roger sighed.

"I suppose I can't stop the two of you... but please, for what it's worth, wait until Mello's bruises heal before you do anything." Near grinned.

"This includes getting Roger's car keys from on top of the refrigerator, and going for a spin. Though if you do so, get me first." Mello grinned evilly.

"Wait, how did you learn that?!" Roger snapped at Near. The albino puffball shrugged.

"L told me in the car."

Roger sighed, and leaned back. "Typical."

About another three hours later, L was out of surgery and slightly less drugged up than before. Mello and Jenny both demanded to see him, and Roger complied immediately, getting two wheelchairs from one of the nurses.

"I wanna drag race." Jenny grumbled, as Near pushed her wheelchair along. Matt and Mello looked at each other, and nodded. "One-two-three, GO!"

The group of kids began wheeling the two down the hallway, as Near supplied revving car noises. Roger simply sighed, and shook his head, muttering, "As soon as I get home, I swear, I am having a stiff glass of brandy..."

"Run down the hall and let go!" Mello shrieked, as Jenny caterwauled happily. Matt sighed, and hung on the back of the chair, as they rolled neck-and-neck with Near and Jenny.

"The door! Room 373! We're passing L's room, GO BACK!!" Mello shrieked. Matt hit the wheelchair brakes, and the blonde was flung out of the chair, face down on the floor.

"Ooops." Near said casually, bringing Jenny to a slow stop in front of the door. Mello muttered something angry and unintelligible as Near opened the door.

L lay upright in bed, taking sugar cubes from the small bowl next to him. Jenny stared in awe at the detective, then at Near.

"...Wow. Are you like, his ghost or something?" Near's eyes narrowed. L laughed quietly.

"Hello, Mello, Matt, Near. Who's this?" The girl stuck her hand out.

"Jennifer T. Delviccio, honorary Mafia member. It's a pleasure." He grinned, and flopped a weak hand out.

"Forgive me, I'm afraid I'm still rather out of it. Painkillers..." Mello hugged the black-haired man, and squeezed gently.

"Th-thank you... I'm so glad you saved us. L... I love you so much..." The man nodded, and stroked Mello's hair.

"I love you too. I'm glad you're okay." Mello turned to Near.

"It kills me to say this, but I love you too, sheepie. I promised my guardian angel I'd tell you all that, and well..." Near hugged him gently.

"Okay."

Jenny coughed lightly in the background. "And, hello?" Mello rolled his eyes. "I love you too, you weird black-sheep freak." She grumbled something at him.

Roger came in the door. "Mello..." Mello turned around, and hugged him tightly.

"I love you too." Roger sighed.

"Any chance of that love preventing you from taking my car for a spin?" Mello chuckled, and shook his head.

"Not a chance."

Back at Wammy's about a week later, there was a slight problem.

"What do you mean, you can't take her back!?" Roger shouted into the phone. "He's bloody dead! What do you mean, he legally adopted her, and his estate has to decide... oh hell, never mind!" He slammed the phone down.

He turned to the group of small children, and L, and said quietly, "Well, Jenny, I don't think you have any where to go as of now." Matt blinked.

"But she can stay here! Right?" Roger sighed.

"Well, it's a school for genii, so I don't think..." Jenny made an annoyed face.

"Please pull up my records. You'll find I have an IQ of almost one hundred sixty-seven." L smirked slightly, and selected her records from the database on Roger's computer.

Jenny stood there, a stolid smirk on her slight features as everyone stared in awe. "Mh-hm. Now, about this estate thing..." She clicked on the adoptive parent's section, keyed in a few codes, and changed it to "Quillsh Wammy." She grinned.

"As of now, thanks to my under-appreciated but uber-amazing hacking skills, I am currently under the ward of Wammy's House."

The boys cheered. Roger swilled down his glass of brandy.

Did it have a happy ending? Well, I guess it could be called that.

Except for Roger.

The newspapers ate the serial-killer-cannibal thing up. As was to be expected. So, about a week later...

-Vroom, vroom, vruum, vruuum...-

"BWAHAHAHAHA!! DIE, SCUM, DIE UNDER MY BLAZING WHEELS OF RUBBER!" Mello roared, driving Roger's Coup de Ville down the driveway, Matt howling happily in the shotgun. The reporters shrieked, and ran away like a flock of geese, while Mello cackled like a madman.

Jenny raised an eyebrow. Near sighed. "It provides collective entertainment. You get used to it."

Normality after being adopted, kidnapped, raped, almost-murdered, kissed by your best friend, and meeting a strange girl with black hair who actually managed to keep Near off his tail?

Not for Mello, that was for certain.

And all the others were glad to be along for the ride.