A/N: Ok so I know that I haven't finished my other story yet and there were others I promised to work on next but this chapter was practically writing itself in my head. It was around midnight and I knew I wasn't getting any sleep until I got it out. It's just an experiment and I know it's short but I had to get it out. If you like it the chaps will be longer. So here it is. Anyone who is worried about my other story it will be updated by the end of the week.

Disclaimer: This all belongs to the lovely Stephenie Meyer. Except for the idea. That's me.

Summary: "You're seventeen?!" I was beginning to hyperventilate. "Oh God. I have officially become Ms. Robinson. I am so going to jail."

Chapter 1: Just my luck

Ugh.

Someone up there must really not like me.

Why must this day come yet again? It felt like it was just here and now it's back again. It's like I just can't escape it. But then again I guess I shouldn't be surprised being that it always comes at the same time every year.

But that doesn't make me dread it any less.

I had prayed and prayed all year that this moment would not come, but those wishes have fallen on deaf ears.

Why?

Maybe I can just stay here in my bed and pretend like none of this has ever happened. You may call it denial, but I call it blissful ignorance. Has a lovely ring to it doesn't it?

There was a banging on my door. I guess I spoke too soon.

"Oh Bella, Bella sweet Bella. Wouldn't you love to come and open this door for your two best friends in the whole wide world?" Alice. She was trying to sweet talk me but it wasn't going to work. Not today.

They both had keys to my apartment – as I did theirs – but I was mindful to keep my bedroom door locked at least. With those two, you just never knew when it was going to be time for a surprise trip to the downtown shopping district to get a few things. Yeah right, and come back with a whole new fall wardrobe. I was lucky if they kept it down to one season.

I pulled my pillow tighter over my head in the hopes of drowning them out.

"Bella, if you don't get your lazy ass up and out of that bed I'll have Emmett come over here and break down this door! And you know he will." Rose.

Oh yes. I knew all too well. She had that man wrapped around her candy red painted finger and I knew that he would be down here in an instant if there was even the slimmest chance of a reward from Rosalie. I was screwed.

"BELLA!" Both of them this time.

"Okay, okay. Jeeze, I'm up. Calm down will you." I slurred in my still half conscious state.

I reluctantly opened the door and they immediately swarmed in, tackling me to my bed.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

Damn them!

"Yay! Bella can you believe it? You're-…"

"Alice," I spoke with as much malice as I could muster. "Don't you dare finish that sentence."

"YOU'RE THIRTY!"

I groaned and fell back on my bed hoping to scramble back under the covers and sleep this whole day away. I wanted to pretend like I didn't just hear those two words coming out of her mouth. It made them all too real.

That wish was a lost cause too.

"Come on Bella. Get your butt up so we can go out and celebrate this joyous occasion."

"Joyous occasion?" I stared at her with incredulity. "JOYOUS OCCASION? Alice, I-I'm…"

"Thirty." Rose snickered.

I groaned again.

"Uh oh Al. Looks like someone is having a mid-life crisis."

"I AM NOT HAVING A MID-LIFE CRISIS!"

Really. I wasn't.

"You are such a drama queen." I glared at Rose and she stopped her chuckling.

Alice spoke up again.

"Bella, would you stop being so damn melodramatic. You are not old. Hell, I don't know how anyone could look at you and think that you were a day over twenty-five."

"Oh yes, so that when I keep getting hit on by younger men, they can all run away screaming when they find out I am really an old hag in disguise. How very comforting Alice."

"Are you kidding me?" said Rose next. "Guys totally go for hot olde-…"

"ROSE!" screamed Alice.

"I mean hot more experienced women. You'll be like a cougar."

"A cougar? Who do you think I am? Cher? I do not want to go around robbing the cradle!"

"Well then why not just try to find a guy your own age?" Alice chimed in.

"Because all the good ones are already taken. Either they're looking for their next mistress or trying to find a good rebound girl now that they're divorces are finalized."

"I am sure that there are some great, established thirty year old men out there just waiting to find the right woman. You'll see."

"Yeah, real easy for you guys to say. You two already have amazing men!"

"And so will you. But you sure as hell won't find him moping around here all day."

"Rose is right Bella. Which is exactly why we are going out tonight. We are going to celebrate like there is no tomorrow and find you the man of your dreams all in one night. And you will find him. I can just feel it."

Then why do I have the feeling that something is going to go seriously wrong?

That would be just my luck.