A/N - k, so for the past couple of weeks, i've been cheating on the usual Danny Phantom fanfiction that i so totally love and i was OBSESSED with reading Twilight, and i've had this idea brewing in my head for the longest time, and it's preventing any further progress on New Beginnings, so i'm putting it all down on fanfiction and getting it over with. I'm hoping that once i get this done, i can go back to NB and finish the extra special long chapter that some of you are waiting for. i only have a few more days 'til i leave to Nicaragua, and i won't be back 'til the 13th of August. so hopefully this gets out of my head and i can go back to typing and proofreading the next chapter (ch20, i think?) of NB. so yeah, here it is.
be warned, it's not the usual stuff i come out with. albeit, it's not as creepy as most fanfictions that are like this, but it's something i've never even dreamed about writing, until this idea came to me of course.

This is set in New Moon, after Edward left in those empty pages that say the names of the months on them. December, I guess. :)

Disclaimer - this thing is pointless. whythehell would i write fanfiction if i were to OWN the fiction in the first place?

92 days.

13 weeks.

3 months.

It had been 3 months since he had left, and I've never felt so dead.

300 years, felt more accurate.

It was torture, more than torture when I saw him walk out that fateful day a million years ago. And I didn't know how much more of this isolation i could take.

The knife was cool in my hand, the cold stainless steel of the tip on my wrist, making the other scars, both healing and healed, more pronounced. More noticeable. And as I prayed for the courage to press down and drag the blade across my skin, I did something I hadn't done in the longest time: I had smiled.

The small voice in my head told me to put the knife down, to just walk away and forget what I was doing. But most unfortunately, the little voice sounded way too much like Edward, and that set me over the edge. The voice told me to stop, to pretend nothing had ever happened, to keep on living my life and to grow an old, ripe age.

The only problem was that Edward was my life. And without him, I felt empty, and my purpose to live--

Well that's the thing. I had no purpose anymore.

For 3 months I had walked around like a zombie, not noticing the minutes turn to hours, the hours to days, the days to weeks...

And now, after all this time, I refused to put up with this empty feeling. I refused to feel so broken, so rejected.

I refused to feel so alone.

I know what I was doing to Charlie and Renee and Phil, but at the moment, I couldn't find the heart in me to care. Right now, the only thing that mattered, was me, the eight-inch kitchen knife in my hand, and the tip of it pressing down hard, but not enough to break skin. Not enough at the moment, anyways.

I closed my eyes, let out the remainder of my breath, and pushed the knife down as hard as I could, and once the smell of my blood tickled my nose and ran dangerously down my arm, I knew it was deep enough.

The knife clattered down onto the floor, and my knees followed it down as they buckled underneath me. I laughed silently to myself, wondering when I had finally cracked, when my sanity just left with him, leaving me here.

And as my vision faded, I saw the most beautiful reddish-brown hair, and heard a cry that was so familiar it hurt.

My smile grew more pronounced, and everything finally faded to black.

A/N - :cough: not as good as i thought it would turn out, in my opinion, but it's the best you're gunna get when it comes to stuff like this. review? (with SOME kind of advice, if you don't mind :)