A/N: This is what happens when you mix boredom, depression, coffee, and RENT. It's my take on April's suicide. Super-uber-cookie-love to my super-awesome beta!

Disclaimer: If I owned it, poor Mark would've found someone by the end of RENT... someone like, say... me!

"I'm sorry, my love," she wrote.

"I never meant for this to happen. I never meant to hurt you, but I did, and I can't live with this. You shouldn't blame yourself. None of this was your fault; it was mine. I should have known not to get you involved in this, but I was stupid and blind.

I wish we would've had the chance to see our child grow up. She'll never have the chance for a life, now, but it's not like she ever really had a chance. I can't let our child go through a life with AIDS. I can't bear to see the pain she'll have to go through. Besides, what's the point in giving something life if that life is only going to be taken away? It's not right.

I'm so sorry, Roger. I just wish we could've started a happy, healthy family together. I wish I could've shown you how much you mean to me. I love you."

April wiped a tear away as she read over what she wrote. Letting out a sob, she ripped the note apart and set the pieces aflame with a nearby candle. She watched, transfixed, as the paper curled up and the flame slowly died down. Pacing feverishly, she shakily reached for another piece of paper. He'll never know...

After hesitating for a moment, she quickly scribbled down, "We've got AIDS." Glancing tearfully back at the note, she placed it gently on the sink before turning back to the bathtub and slipping into the water. What he'll never know is that two lives were taken today. He doesn't deserve that kind of pain.

I'm so sorry, Roger. I love you.