Sunlight, Blue Eyes, and Snow
By MasqueradingMe

...

Awe is what I feel first when I see him. Complete lack of breath. He comes stumbling out of the door I'm heading for, catching me off caught and causing me to take a few unbalanced steps backward into the deserted, snow-covered yard. I look up at him, stupefied by his beauty. Dawn has cast her gentle rays on him, causing his sunlight-colored hair to redden with the sun. He stops when he sees me, and the door behind him closes of its own vocation.

My mouth opens to say his name, a name I've heard and said a thousand times, but never to him. My voice dies in my throat when our eyes meet. Such pain. A tumult of emotions; like a slideshow at super speed. Then he blinks and glances away in something akin to distain. I know he has noticed my uniform and identified me as a day student. Perhaps he has mistaken me for a fan of his. His look makes even me feel dirty and suddenly I see the emptiness of the word 'fan'. And that is what he seems to think I am. My smile drops and shatters like glass on marble.

He begins moving again, away from me, towards the bridge to the Moon Dormitory. Rebellious, my hand darts out to grab his; to keep him from walking away. To keep him from the solitude he seems to desire.

He snatches his hand away, turning angry eyes on me. I stare back at him, unflinching. If ever I had an 'out of body experience' it was now. Never would I have dreamed of looking him in the eye, countering anger with resolution.

He must see something of the resolve in my eyes because he steps back, but remains facing me, an expectant look on his face. I simply stare at him. There are tearstains on his face, I see. He has been crying and I can't begin to fathom why. My heart goes out to him and I want nothing more than to touch him. But I don't, can't.

"Why?" I ask, vaguely motioning to his eyes.

He flinches, cocking his head to the side like a confused puppy. Then he answers, "Because."

I frown slightly, but he doesn't seem to intend to say more. I wait, and the silence between us lengthens. His eyes wonder past me and I sense that he's about to make his exit. My patience begins to fade.

"Your family," I throw out and am rewarded by a flash of emotion in his oh-so-blue eyes.

"What do you know?" he replies tersely, his eyes searching mine.

"Not much," I say, and take a small step forward, my eyes never leaving his.

He watches me as I close the distance between us. I am close enough to feel his body heat, but not touching, never touching. I look down at his hands, trembling slightly from the cold, then back up to his eyes, surprised he has made no move away from me.

"Who are you?" he asks, his voice thick with emotion and confusion. He doesn't know my name, it seems. That hurts a little.

"No one," I reply softly, "So why don't you tell me about it." My eyes, I know, are pleading. Pleading for him to let me in. Pleading for him to let me take some of the burden from him.

The silence between us gets heavy. I keep my eyes on his, watching for some sort of clue. There is none. Thoughts and emotions run through his eyes too quickly for me to identify. Still I wait. Expectant. Hopeful.

Then he sighs and opens his mouth. He speaks and emotions come tumbling into the space between us. Bricks forming a wall, or perhaps a bridge, between us. Guilt, anger, frustration, loneliness, inferiority, helplessness, and a deep hurt that even I can only partially understand. He doesn't tell me everything, I can tell. Just enough to get out what he's been holding in.

When he falls silent, I am at a loss for words. My eyes and my heart ache with unshed tears. Sympathy tears. Or perhaps empathy tears.

He's waiting, needing for me to say something. He has emptied himself of the weight he's been carrying around and now needs something to fill the emptiness. I see it is now okay- no it is vital- for him to be touched.

So I take his hand in mine, making him jump slightly and jerk his red-rimmed eyes to look at the link I've created.

"It's okay," I say, reaching up to cup his cheek with my free hand, "You aren't alone."

My words seem to satisfy him, because his next action is to wrap his arms around me and pull my body against his. He seems to need as much human contact as possible.

We stay like that for a while, just standing there, in the cold, holding one another. I wonder at the strangeness of fate; throwing the two of us together at that precise moment when one, perhaps both, of us needed it most.

A series of chimes sound from the bell tower, and we are drawn back to the snow-laden yard in the center of the school that until then had seemed not to be included in our world. We step apart regretfully, at least on my part, but not too far apart. I can still feel his heat and I'm beginning to wonder how I will go on if I lose it.

"Thank you Yori," he says, and my shock must show on my face because a ghost of his usual smirk drifts onto his face.

I begin to ask how he knows my name, but he places a hand over my mouth to silence me. Then he cups my face as I did his and runs a thumb over my lips.

My eyes go wide as his lips touch mine, warm despite the cold.

"Thank you," he says again, then is gone.

I do not move. Standing there, alone in the cold, I feel the lost of his heat acutely. I quickly lock the memory into my heart; sunlight, blue eyes, and snow.

"Aidou-sempai."

...