Author's notes- I don't own the TMNT, just Karma.

Just Karm's thoughts, sorry if it's not too good, my head is mush right now, all I wanna do is write, even if it's not very good.

Wishful thinking.

As I find myself back at home after being torn away from my parallel universe to a battle with Ultimate Drako, I sink into the sofa and lapse into deep thought.

'Every choice I make will affect my future. Maybe not significantly, but it will. Everything I won't do, everything I do and everything I will do impacts on my life in some way or another. The future is a scary thought, and after visiting it, I don't want to be there for a long time, but I know, inevitably I will.

Every day I'm getting older and perhaps even that bit wiser but I still don't know where I'm going. I know I shouldn't worry about my future so much, but I do. It's not in my hands, I don't know what choice is going to take me where, but I know that if I'm just a good person, I make decisions as best as I can, hopefully I'll end up happy. And as long as I have my family by me, and make sure we stick together no matter what, I will be okay.

Seeing how my life might have turned out really has helped me, that much was true, but when the boys asked if I was just playing kunoichi tricks, I wasn't. I was genuinely upset. Just because I came into their life, it tore them apart. No. I can't think like that. It was the Shredder's fault. He knew too much and I won't let that happen now.

Part of me wonders what the boys life would be like without me, and what my life would be without them. I know I'd probably still be in Stockman's lab, but at least I would know Shinrai was still alive, I'd be able to hold her and tell her it was okay.

As crazy as it sounds, I miss her. I hardly remember her, but I miss her so much. I will do anything to get her back because I know she needs me and I need her. The boys must think I'm crazy crying all the time because I want her here, but I just know she's out there somewhere just praying for me to come help her, and I will. I won't let my life end up like it was in my alternate universe, I will do this, I can do this. Nothing is ever going to stop me saving my sister, nothing.'

"Raph! A monster got in your room and messed it all up and broke your MP3 player, but it's okay, 'cause it's broken now so the monster doesn't want your MP3 player anymore but the monster says he's sorry and he's going to his room for... for... forever! Bye!"

Raph wanders in from the kitchen, huffing and muttering under his breath, "he's been back 5 minutes, jus' 5 whole minutes..." before stomping upstairs to yell at the clumsy orange banded turtle.

'Well, nothing except maybe a bloodbath between Raphael and Michelangelo.'

With a good humoured sigh and roll of my eyeballs, I ascend the stairs, hoping that maybe i'll get there before somebody gets hurt.

"OWW! Raph! My arm doesn't bend that way!"

'Wishful thinking, Karma, wishful thinking.'