A/N: Oh, hey. How've you guys been? I miss your lovely faces. I still love you, so, here, have a chapter.

Even though it's kind of shitty and irrelevant.

Oh well. I blame tumblr for everything.

Also, I changed the second genre of this story to angst.

Just to fuck around with people.

;D

My name is Spencer,

and this is the story of how I died.

…..

…...

So why the fuck are you still here?

Dead men tell no tales, you stupid bitches.

But no, really, I'm not dead or anything, but I definitely know who wanted to beat the shit out of me.

Three guesses as to who it was. No, actually, you don't even need three guesses to get it right. That's just you being a greedy whore.

…. yeah, it was Robin. Are you surprised, honestly?

Have you even been paying attention this entire time?

"Hey, Starfire. Want to do something fun? Want to go to Taco Bell? I can't go to Taco Bell, I'm on an all-carb diet! GOD Spencer, you're so STUPID!"

There was a bit of an awkward silence as I realized that I had just answered myself in what I thought Starfire's voice would sound like, which was quite similar to a small dog getting hit by a truck. I've seen the movie Mean Girls way too many times. Way. Too. Many.

"Uhmmm... anyway. Want to do something fun?" I asked again, as if that hadn't even happened.

"I would, indeed!" Starfire beamed. "What is this fun thing you speak of?"

"Come on, then. You'll see."

-30 minutes later-

"She's cheap! She's pretty- or welll, in that weird sort of anime way, at least. You'll be amazed at what she can do for only- oh, shit, is that Robin? Holy FUCK it is, oh my god, he's going to kill my future children if he- wait, I don't even want- wait, okay, this is irrelevant, QUICK, STARFIRE, DESTROY MY PIMP CANE! DESTROY ALL OF THE EVIDENCE! LOOK NATURAL! We're just going to get our nails done, right? Wait, what the fuck, I don't- YOU KNOW WHAT IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER, FUCK THIS NOISE!" I yelled, also suddenly regretting the heavy purple coat. It really was too much, especially in the middle of summer. Just... too much. It also made him look like scene-kid version of the Joker. As always, I was causing a scene on the middle of the sidewalk, and ran away as fast as I could, but managed to bump straight into Robin.

"Oh, hey buddy. What's up?"

"Oh, Robin! Would you like to partake in my ways of the 'prostitution' as well? I haven't been able to help anyone with their 'needs' yet, which is unfortunate.

… shit.

He's glaring. I know he is. Don't look. Don't look. Don't look.

Fuck, I have to look.

"... I love you?"

… what the fuck was that?

"... I could charge double for you, you know. Since you're like, the leader or whatever. People like that kind of thing."

"..."

"... it's not easy out here for a pimp, you know."