Dear Diary…..I haven't written in a while, but I really need to talk and this just isn't something I can discuss with Cosmo and Wanda. You ready? Ok, here we go.

You know how, when I was ten, Cosmo and Wanda's little displays of affection would make me uncomfortable? It wasn't for any special reason--just that I was ten and seeing my two godparents go ga-ga for each other was as gross as watching my biological parents kiss and hug and stuff. What kid wants to see that? Ick.

Not much has changed within the last four, almost five years since I met them--their mushy little displays still churn my stomach, but lately it's been for a different reason all together.

I'm not going to say anything, of course; It's just a crush, I'm sure. It'll pass soon, and anyway, if it doesn't, I'm sure I can deal until my memories are….wiped. As for being figured out, well, I'm not to worried--Cosmo's still the same oblivious Cosmo he always has been. He thinks my increased staring and dreamy, unfocused expressions are just me daydreaming about some girl in my class (he still brings up Trixie every once in a while.)

Wanda, on the other hand, is a bit harder to fool--sometimes I think she may even suspect, if not outright know. It's nothing big, just the way she's been acting around me lately. Kind of wary. Like my parents, though they act that way for a different reason--I think they're having a bit of a problem with the fact that their baby boy is growing up--Mom actually cried the first time I told her I didn't need a babysitter any more.

But I'm getting off subject, just a bit. Wanda doesn't have anything to worry about, not from me. I won't say anything if she doesn't, though to tell the truth, I've played with the idea of telling him I think I love him, right before I lose my memories of him forever--no harm if I can't remember anything, right? And it suits that melodramatic flair AJ is always telling my I have.

But then I see him and Wanda together, and I think, what'll that do to the two of them? Maybe nothing, but the thought might still bother him in some way. Maybe not the way it bothers me, or his wife, but it will still be there. Maybe he'll be more cautious around his god children, not give them one hundred percent anymore. Or, maybe he just won't understand what I'm saying for what it is. And, of course, knowing Wanda, she won't act any different, but the thought will probably haunt her. I know how protective one is of the other--the sentiment runs both ways.

Ah, but now I'm rambling. I won't do it. I always dismiss the thought of saying anything almost as soon as it comes into my head. I only have two more years at the most left with them and I won't allow myself to ruin it, to make it uncomfortable in any way. I'll stay silent until the end. I have to. This is not the time for selfishness.

So when I push Cosmo away when he goes to hug me, I'll ignore the hurt in his eyes in favor of thinking that this is all for the best. When he kisses Wanda and tells her how much he loves her, I'll look away. It's not that hard. I can do this. It's just a little longer, after all, and then I won't even remember how much it hurts.

Heh, I just re-read over everything I've written. I never really realized how emo I could sound. I guess I need to work on that. But anyway, thanks for listening. I'll probably be using you a lot more in the future, so, you know, hang tight or whatever. Um…bye.