Chapter 30

I couldn't believe it.

Everything was finally over, and I was staring at the building that had served to my home for the past year. Memories were etched into every crack and every corner of that place, sauntering through the halls and laughing the ghost of a chuckle with every step. It was a paradise that I was being forced to leave and I really didn't want to. Funny, really, how strong the urge was to fling myself onto the stone steps and hold on for dear life because what was waiting for me out there. There being the real world that every teacher had warned us about, there being the reality that I didn't want to face, there being cold indifference and uncertainty because I didn't have anything.

Of course I had my friends and I had Gaara, but dependency was never really my forte and I was not about to grovel for them to take me with them instead of leaving me behind like a lost puppy.

The wind blew pretty harshly then, which suprised me because since when does it get this windy in June? My blue graduation robes billowed around me and I felt a shiver shoot up my spine.

"Jeez," I muttered and straightened the fabric back out. I did need to move though, visiting parents and graduates would probably get a little suspicious by seeing a student that looked oddly feminine with their hair down standing in front of the school. They might even think I was planning blowing the building up.

I sighed and turned on my heel, making my way to the parking lot where my fate would be resigned because my...my adoptive parents were here. Even thinking of them made me want to curl up and cry. How ironic. Not long ago I wanted to bash their heads in for sending me here, now I wanted to wail like a child at the idea of them taking me away.

There was no pleasing me, apparently.

I had no idea where the others were, having been separated from them soon after the ceremony. They, of course, had loving parents waiting in the wings to congratulate them or some other form of ancestory offering pats on the shoulders and words of encouragment. I craved for it. My own set of guardians, as if they even deserved that title, had drifted toward the principil. Most likely discussing options for my future since I had failed to take the time and fill out applications for a college that could have been easily paid for.

Call me selfish, but I find that going to yet another school paid by them would send me over the edge. I want to do things my way. I want to make it my way. Even if that way gets me no where but on the street and starving. No one ever said life was easy, and there is no pleasure in taking the easy road out. I'm a firm believer in karma, and maybe, just maybe, by doing things the hard way things will work out for me someday.

Temari had said something like that last night at prom. Something referring to her and Shikamaru's relationship not going to be that easy since they are both going to college after this, and Shikamaru's mom has been pressing Temari for wedding arrangements. I had almost spit up my punch when she dropped that one on me. Somehow I refrained, thinking that if I stained her beautiful dress, she would never forgive me.

After a while she let out all the details that, yes, her and Nara were thinking of getting married, and, no, it wouldn't be while they were still in school. Also, no, she wasn't pregnant. Hinata and Sakura had come up then and Temari had given me that 'tell and you die' look, so I kept my mouth shut while we all drifted to our respective dates. Watching them out of the corner of my eye, I finally noticed just how deep they had fallen for each other.

Idly I wondered if Gaara and I looked like that, but I figured that was pressing my luck a little too hard and I dropped the notion and turned back to press my nose into Gaara's chest so I could just be with him.

That had been a night I will never forget. Sure, during this whole year I've had moments that will be with me forever, but I've never been so at home and secure like I did last night. It seemed like every single one of us knew that it would be our last time to actually just be kids together and we all took full advantage of it. I can still clearly hear every joke cracked, every word said, every touch made. Still remember in full detail all the dresses worn (even mine) and the expressions of the guys when they saw us.

How Kiba practically fell on his face when he saw Hinata because, God, did she look beautiful in her dress. Oh, and the way Naruto had to almost go to the hospital due to blood loss for having the world's most explosive nosebleed. It was a wonder he managed to keep the blood off his suit. Shikamaru even managed to look stunned and out of his element when Temari stood by his side. And Tenten, well, Tenten was a real knockout with hair down and tight fitting dress. Kankurou hardly managed keeping his hands to hisself until we got downstairs to the room set up for the dance.

Gaara. Gaara had on that expression that made my knees melt and every bone in my body turn to mush. Up until that point I had regretted agreeing to go to prom, but right then, I couldn't understand why I had refused in the first place. It was worth to see that expression. That unguarded and unchained look that had unnecessary tears pricking at the back of my eyes because it was so open and he was hardly ever so vulnerable it was shocking.

I managed to get many shots of all of us.

The next morning were exams, meaning we had to wake up early.

"Troublesome," had been Shikamaru's first word as he dragged his feet over the carpet toward the classrooms. I silently agreed wholeheartedly since I had found it too much of a chore to speak out loud. In fact, all of us answered in monosyllabic grunts because it took a lot of effort to form coherent sentences.

Gai-sensei wasn't too pleased with that, and had tried to encourage us to run around the school a few thousand times. Lee and Tobi were the only ones to jump at the oppurtunity, though Tobi's adventure had been cut short when Deidara had grabbed him by the collar and forced him back in his seat.

"You run and he'll think the rest of us need to follow your example, yeah." he had hissed, carefully keeping his hair blocking his mouth so Gai wouldn't see and take it as a volunteer. Tobi had then said something that must of offended Deidara in some way because in the next instant Tobi was sprawled on the ground and his blonde friend was lowering his leg back to the ground.

I even saw Sasuke that morning, which kind of shocked me since I hadn't seen him around much lately. He only rolled his eyes and turned away, walking over to a pair of guys that, for all intents and purposes, looked dangerous. If ones' sharp teeth didn't scare you away, then the massive height of the other guy would. They must've only arrived in last month since I hadn't seen them around.

The exams were pretty lengthy, which irratated me to no end. All the essays about threw me over the edge and I was on the verge of just jumping up and whipping off my T-shirt while screaming:

"I give up! I'm a girl! Now get me out of here before I lose it completely!"

Needless to say, that wouldn't have gone over well, so I settled in and finished the exams and afterwards indulged myself in watched the boy next to me, Sai, I believe, draw random pictures on his test. I envied his artistic abilities and looked down at my own attempt at sketching. The stick man didn't look to wonderful in all his stick glory.

It had been a long day taking the exams, and we had to get to bed early since the next morning would be graduation. And the announcement of who was to pass or fail. Now that was the most stressful sleep of the century. I had tossed and turned so much that I had somehow managed to flip myself off the bed and bang my head on the nightstand.

Gaara had sprung out of bed then, having heard the painful 'thump' and thinking it was some kind of assassination against him. Man, I'd hate to be present in one of that boy's dreams if that what plagued him at night. I ended up sleeping in his bed with him and by some miracle didn't thrash around too much.

He told me this morning that around the third arm throw toward him, he gave up and just rolled over on me to keep me still. It worked. For a few hours until I woke up wondering why the hell I felt like my lungs were being compressed by my ribs.

It was a funny morning, one that was stored for me to laugh over later once my ribs stopped aching after each deep breath I took.

This morning was spent scrambling around the teachers' rooms looking for the list that showed who passed and who would repeat a year. I half expected Shikamaru to repeat, but then again, he's a genius so it wasn't much of a shock to see him on the top of the list of 'Pass'. The rest of us managed to get by, too, at which I had to sit down so intense was the relief. Oh, I wasn't too worried about myself, it was of the others I was hung up on.

It would be horrible if they had to stick around when they had so much going for them. I on the other hand was fully expecting to be held back. What have I got going for me?

The room where the ceremony was being held was packed. The girls' school had already finished with their own graduating class, so most of the them were filed into the seats to see us walk across the stage and recieve our diplomas. Only Naruto managed to fall during his turn.

Somehow, I was able to obtain a photo of that moment, a long with many others.

And here I am now, walking aimlessly around the courtyard trying to find a familiar face. Preferably one my own age instead of one of the loveable guardians ready to take me 'home'.

"Matsuri," I flinched at the voice and almost almost jerked away from the hand clamped onto my shoulder. Turning, I came face to face with a plastic smile and pearly white teeth. "Are you ready to get your stuff?"

"I'm...I'm looking for someone."

The man who called himself my father frowned. "Well, hurry up. Your mother is complaining of the heat."

I sighed and nodded, inwardly crying like a baby. I couldn't believe I was leaving. "Fine. It won't take long."

Watching him leave, I felt a little part of myself die. This was all just too much, I didn't want to say goodbye to this place. Ever. That didn't mean I wanted to fail the year, but I wished it was somehow possible to just live in the good moments I could remember. Like the day I skipped running around the track with the guys and we stayed hidden the shrubs. A smile crept over my lips as I remember Kiba and Naruto discussing he dynamics of a bra.

Without really realizing it, I found myself heading there. It didn't take long. Although my robe got snagged on some bushes and after a short struggle I took it off and balled it up in my hands. The thin dress I wore underneath (I felt like I owed myself being a girl on my final day) allowed me to breathe easier and I swallowed back the lump in my throat.

Sitting there, in the same place I had not too long ago and listened to my friends' clueless conversation, I cried. I cried hard. I had been worrying about this moment for so long and now it was finally here and I couldn't push it away, couldn't run back into the dorms and hide because it was impossible.

And why weren't my friends here? Why weren't they comforting me?

Suddenly, I was mad. Not just mad, I was furious. What kind of friends would leave me in the middle of the ceremony and just forget about me? They didn't even say "congratulations, you made it, kid"! Nothing!

"Tch. Some friends," I muttered and wiped my tears way with the heel of my palm. "Not like I need 'em anyway." I hated lying to myself.

"Maybe you should wait and decide that later, don't you think?"

Whipping my head up, my eyes widened in surprise to find Gaara stepping over the same bush that had snagged my robe. He wasn't wearing his, either.

"Why?" I demanded, ducking my head back down and hurriedly trying to clean the moisture off my face and hoping dearly there wasn't any snot. "There's no point."

He sat down beside me and I fought off the fluttering in my stomach with a vengence. I wanted to be mad right now, I understood anger. I didn't want to cry in front of him. I'd have plenty of time to do that once the guardians took me back to hell.

"Oh, I don't know," he sighed and leaned back on his hands, his shoulder brushing against mine. "Maybe because we've been looking for you?"

"Liar."

He lifted a brow questioningly at my immediate snap and I bit the inside of my cheek while I narrowed my eyes, daring him to continue.

A faint smile lifted his lips and he turned his face to look out at the track, away from me and effectively hiding his expression. "We have been looking for you. Temari, Kankurou and I had some business to discuss with our uncle and the others were busy setting up a small party in Naruto and Kiba's dorm after the ceremony, but then we came looking for you."

I felt a sharp stab of pain in my chest. They were planning a party? Without me? It took more effort than I was willing to admit to not burst into tears again. Gaara turned back around and lifted my chin with a finger. His eyes were warm and soft and it only hurt more.

"We wanted to congratulate you in our own way for surving the year as a boy." he said. "That's why we had to wait to come and find you."

"But couldn't have somebody told me you were busy? Or something! I thought everyone had left me!" I said wetly, trying to keep down the tears.

His only response was to press his lips gently against mine while running his fingers across my cheek.

"You know I will be leaving to take over the family business," he stated once he pulled away. I really wanted to hit him then for bringing it up. God, it was like he didn't think of how much stuff like that would hurt me when he said it outloud. It made it too real. I started to pull away and the tears came again and I couldn't fight them.

Sobbing, I struggled to get to my feet so I could run and get my stuff and then just keep running until I found the people who used me as a means of job promotions and just get away from the suddenly painful heartache sitting on my chest like lead. I didn't make it far. Gaara grabbed my arm and held me in place, and when I turned to yell at him to let go he said something that froze the tears in my eyes.

"I want to take you with me."

O O O

Apparently, the 'business' Gaara had said his siblings and himself had to take care of with his uncle was me. I was the center of that conversation as they went over the possibilites of taking me along to run the family business with the siblings. Of course, that didn't go over to well with Yashamaru, their uncle, and it took a lot of convincing on their part. In the end, Gaara was the one who was successful in forcing Yashamaru to agree.

Neither Temari nor Kankurou knew how since Gaara took Yashamaru to the side of the school to discuss further. Kankurou thinks Gaara threatened Yashamaru's position. I wouldn't doubt it, Gaara can be persistent when he wants something.

When I told Gaara that my guardians would never allow it, he only waved a dismissive hand and led me to Naruto and Kiba's dorm where they small party everyone had organized was going on. After a few hours of laughing and joking with everyone, Temari and Shikamaru had informed us all of their plans for getting married later on. I thought Gaara was going to fall out of his seat. Kankurou settled for patting Shikamaru a little too hard on the shoulder and whispering what could only be a threat in his ear.

Gaara got him later, promising to cut him off at the knees if he hurt Temari. Shikamaru had never looked so alert before.

As the party drew to a close, tears were shed and hugs were given out as well as phone numbers and email addresses. We were not going to lose touch, and I know we aren't because I'm selfish and I refuse to let go of this good thing I found here and vice versa. It won't let me go because it made such a big impact.

"Now," I started once we were back in mine and Gaara's old room, and turned toward the two brothers behind me. Temari had opted to spend the rest of the day with her future husband. "What are we going to do about me?"

"What's left to be done?"

Kankurou rubbed the back of his neck and ginned crookedly. "Let's just put it this way. Our people called your people."

I looked to Gaara for confirmation. He smiled that small, knee-weakening smile and nodded. "Yashamaru had word with your parents." I tried not to flinch at the word. "They agreed."

"Just like that?"

"Just like that."

I raised a brow and put my hands on my hips. "Why does something tell me you had to use blackmail for this?"

Kankurou snickered and, once I turned my gaze on him, busied himself with fiddling with the window.

Gaara walked closer to me, shrugging. "Extortion against them alone is too easy," I nodded in agreement and wrapped my arms around his waist, nuzzling in his chest when he returned the embrace. "That's why we went straight to their boss with our threats, and they gave in pretty quickly after that."

I groaned and bit back a laugh. "Oh my God, Gaara. Did you really?" I peeked up at him and he grinned. "Well, way to hit their weak spot. So what does all this mean?"

"That you are staying with me."

I felt myself turn to a puddle in his arms.

Kankurou walked past us out the door with a backwards wave, chuckling. "I'm not into the whole 'watch the happy couple thing', so when you guys are done being mushy-gushy come look for car so we can leave."

Once he left, I turned my face back into Gaara's chest to hide and mumbled, "Is this want you want?"

"Is this what you want?"

"I asked you first."

He pushed against my shoulders and pressed his lips hungerily against my own and I swear I died again just like all the other times during this crazy year. "Yes," he breathed. "I want you."

"Me, too. I want to stay with you."

This entire year had been beyond insane to such a point that it wouldn't surprise me if I got tested on my sanity levels. It was amazing that I was still all there in my head after all the ups and downs and twists and turns that I had encountered. All the crazy situations and struggle to uphold being a guy right until the very end. It's beyond amazing, actually. I still can't believe how I managed it and I know that if I didn't have the friends I have now, I wouldn't have survived.

Still, these are moments I will never forget. I have pictures and a sit on the internet of hilarious moments, and every time I happen to glance at them in the future, I will be swept right back to this place. Back to where I stood in front of a building dressed as a guy while I resigned myself to my fate of year of suffering. Back to clutching a towel around myself while a brown haired boy burst through the bathroom doors and discovered my secret. Back to the nights of tossing and turning and having fantasies of my roommate. Back to out of this world gym classes. Back to becoming a temporary slave to an ego-maniac with raven hair. Back to the hang out places with friends that had no clue of my secret. Back to a lunch outing where I spilled it all and was able to see their reactions.

Back to gaining precious trust and life-long friends. Back to a time that is more important to me than anything I will ever know because it's a time that I found out who I was by being someone else. Because it's a time I found me, someone I thought I had lost a long time ago.

And because it's the year that I found love in many different shapes and forms. No, I will never forget this year. That's just impossible, isn't it?

It's over! Oh my gosh, it's actually done!!! Phew, that took me an entire day to write. Ya know, I wasn't going to finish this because I was skimming through chapters trying to find the schedule of the prom and exams and the graduation and I couldn't find it and it was ticking me off something awful. Then I got so pissed that I decided, you know what? I'll just skip right to the graduation and make the others flashback type things and this happened. I really wanted to finish this because it was such a crazy and hilarious fic that it NEEDED an ending. I was worried because I didn't put into detail the prom and everything but I think it's a bit better this way 'cause I'm not dragging it out like I ALWAYS tend to do with things.

I hope you guys liked the ending to this though. I know it took forever and a decade to come out, but sometimes when you're writing for more than one thing the storylines and everything get mixed up and it's really hard to remember timelines. Forgive me? Please?

Please review! And yes, I will be going back eventually and fixing the horribly embarrassing grammer errors in the first however-many chapters. But bear with me, I DID start this thing a long time ago. In fact, I think it was either the first or second multi-chapter fic I started so I was pretty bad at writing. I WILL go back and fix, it will just take a while because I got other things to deal with so please be patient with me! I hope you enjoyed!! It was a good run! Matsuri sure had crazy year, huh? Thank you everyone!