AN: Random idea that occurred to me on vaca. This is an accompaniment to Catiggular's fic 'As Long As I'm You', except a little more chaotic. And hopefully funnier. Btw, she's my sis and I have permission to write this. If you don't believe me, ask her. It may get a little confusifying, but I left you guys a note halfway through. Well, Tig did. Oh, I forgot to mention that we collaborated on this. So it could be published on either of our accounts.

Disclaimer: Random. And if I owned Wicked, this fic would be a Broadway play sequel.

Information:

Title: Elphie, Why Is Boq In My Body? (forgive me for the possible innuendo!)

Rated: T, for innuendo and A LOT of kissing

In-Depth Summary: Madame Morrible puts a curse on Elphaba, Glinda, Fiyero, Boq, Nessa and Avaric: every time they kiss, they switch bodies. Social lives crash and burn! Guys flirting with guys! Eye Candy! Slightly drunk, but hot waiters! All the good stuff!

NOTE: No one is dating. Really. People have commented on this, they think Glinda and Fiyero are going out. Actually, in the first draft, they were. And Glinda was cheating with Avaric, Fiyero was cheating with Elphaba, but they decided to stay together and continue their love affairs. I revised! Everyone is just friends, okay? It's easier to write and I like it better like this. But I do have a little Fiyeraba, Glinaric and Bessa planned for, like, Chapter 10, okay? But everyone will STILL be friends.

Madame Morrible was fed up. The students of Shiz University were kissing way too much. Waayyy too much. It was just college!

She was going to do something about it.

A curse. Curses always solved problems, even though they were incredibly difficult. Morrible took out her wand, flipping through a spell book. Almost right away, a curse on page 927 caught her eye. The college headmistress smiled and thought about which students she would hex.

Her sorcery students were getting way too much lip action. That was two people.

The slacker that was kissing them…him too. And his clone-like friend definitely deserved a curse.

Morrible thought four people were enough work already, but a loud…smacking…noise was coming from the Governor's daughter's bedroom. She and her boyfriend would be the final receivers of the curse.

Her smile widened. This was sure to be epic…

Fiyero and Elphaba were alone in his room. And things were certainly heating up.

"Elphie, I'm having a sudden horomone. Will you please kiss me?"

"You mean hormone. And Fiyero, come on. Do you know how weirded out the rest of our friends would be?"

"Screw our friends. I'm having a craving to kiss someone."

Elphaba had to laugh. "You're talking about it like…like brownies! Craving? No, I am not kissing someone because they are 'craving to kiss someone'! Clearly, I am not chocolate."

"Course not, you're green. Chocolate is only green when it turns bad."

"Thanks, Fiyero, for that oh so insightful comment."

"Sorry." He blushed. "I couldn't resist. Kiss me?"

"As a friend?"

"Of course." Fiyero winked, and pulled her into him. Their lips met and they kissed for one very short second before a dizzy sensation came over both of them and both pulled back.

Embarrassed, Elphaba stared at her lap.

And screamed.

Fiyero looked down at her and fell off his bed.

"You…you…You're me!"

Elphaba whimpered and looked down at his muscled frame. While she had muscle on her, this was clearly not her body. It wasn't green, for one thing.

She reached up to check her hair. Way shorter.

"I'm you!" Fiyero cried, staring at his hands. "I'm a green chick!"

This is way freaky!" Elphaba muttered.

"Wait a sec. Are you me or do you just look like me?"

She racked her brains. "I am…still me."

"Does that mean you're me or—"

"Fiyero. You are still you."

"How do you know?"

"You're brainless." Elphaba snapped. "Let's not kiss again or I'll have your brains too. Which means I won't have any.'

She was wrong. If they were to have tried that, nothing would have happened. Nothing at all.

"Let's not tell anyone about this." Fiyero shuddered. "Just…act like me, okay? Not a ner—you."

"Of course we wouldn't want to ruin Fiyero Tiggular's precious reputation," Elphaba muttered. "I will, only if you act like me. Be smart, okay? You know what that is, right?"

"Elphie, I'm surprised. I know what smart is…from watching you."

She playfully rolled her eyes. "In the meantime, I'll find a solution." She thought in silence.

Fiyero stared. "Do you have any idea how weird I look thinking?"

Glinda was waiting outside history for her best friends. They were late,

but it wasn't like she minded missing class.

Finally, Fiyero and Elphaba walked towards her, both looking nervous and a little weirded out.

"Hey Elphie, Hey Fi. What's up?" Glinda bounced over to meet them, then hopped up and kissed Fiyero's cheek.

"NO!" Fiyero yelled, pushing her off. But it was too late. The dizzy sensation came over both of them and Elphaba found herself in another body once again. Glinda was completely confused. "What in Oz—"she looked down. "OHMIGOD I'm gorgeous!"

"And I'm blond," Elphaba grumbled.

"And I'm green," Fiyero, in Elphaba's body, added miserably. "This is getting way too weird."

Glinda looked to both of her friends.

"Why am I Fiyero? And why is someone me?"

(Author's Note: Once a lot of people start switching, it's going to get really confusing who's who and stuff. So to help, the characters aren't called "Nessa" or "Fiyero." They're called NiB or FiG. The first letter is the mind or soul or whatever. The "i" stands for in, or "in the body of…" The last letter is the body. So NiB means Nessa in Boq's body, and FiG means Fiyero in Glinda's body.)

"To make a long story short, Fiyero and I kissed and we switched places. And now, I guess since the 2 of you kissed, or rather me and you—"

"I kissed you?" GiF yelled.

"You kissed Fiyero who was actually me."

"I'm confused," FiE announced.

EiG sighed. "Okay. Fiyero, you are in my body. Glinda, you are in Fiyero's body—"

"Dream come true!" Glinda punctuated that with a squeal.

"DON'T SQUEAL," Fiyero snapped. "I am—you are me now. I am a guy. Act like a guy."

EiG rolled her eyes. "And I am in Glinda's body. We're still us, just in the wrong bodies."

"Great." FiE sighed. "How do we switch back?"

Before either girl could answer, Dillamond poked his furry head out the door. "Will you 3 be joining us today?"

"N—" Fiyero began, but EiG hit him. Hard.

"Yes, we're sorr—"

GiF elbowed her.

"I'll take that as a yes." The Goat held the door open. EiG walked right to the front row. GiF steered her to the back row and took the empty seat beside her.

"You guys," FiE whined. "Don't leave me to—"

"Go to the front row," EiG hissed.

Sulkily, FiE went and sat down next to the only person left—Boq.

"Hey Elphaba," he said friendlily.

"Dude, since when are we friends?" FiE scowled.

EiG threw a paper wad at his head.

"Ow." He threw it back, attracting the whole class's attention.

"Elphaba, please do not throw, "Dillamond chastised lightly.

EiG turned crimson—a new color for her, since her blush was a dark olive.

"Whatever," FiE muttered.

EiG sighed. This was going to be a long class.

FiE meanwhile, was having fun. He took out his notebook and started to draw. By the time Doctor Dillamond called on him, he had sketched out a goat in a circle with a slash through it. Dillamond's voice was so loud up front.

"Miss Thropp, care to answer?"

"Nah." FiE tilted his chair back. Usually he had the back wall to lean against, but this time the chair tipped over backwards.

"Ow!#!!" he swore, and Dillamond looked horrified.

EiG buried her face in her hands. GiF patted her on the back with sympathy, as her friend blushed again.

"That…loser…is…so dead." EiG snarled.

FiE didn'tblush. Because he wasn't himself. No one would think he fell over backward in his chair. Oz, he could do anything he wanted!

"Miss Thropp!" Dillamond snapped. "Kindly sit up!"

FiE pulled the chair up and sat down, smirking at EiG.

"Thank you. Now, continuing with my lecture on Animal Banns.

"Yay." FiE muttered.

Dillamond frowned and asked the class, "Who can tell me why the Bans began?"

EiG's hand shot up. GiF elbowed her.

"Don't do that!"

"Mr. Tiggular, kindly do not discourage Miss Upland from answering my question. Miss Upland, please continue. I am very pleasantly surprised by your participation."

FiE glared at GiF. Who glared at EiG. Who was glaring at FiE.

"Well, there wasn't really a reason why the Bans began, was there? I mean—"

As EiG prattled on about the Wizard's lack of explanation, GiF sunk lower and lower in her seat. Half the class was staring.

"Stop it! Stop, stop, stop!" whined GiF softly.

Mercifully, EiG finished her speech.

"Well done!" Dillamond praised. "Wonderful, in fact! Please, by all means, participate more! Elphaba, I know you always have so much to say on this topic. Would you like to elaborate?"

FiE turned around to his friends. GiF mouthed, payback. He obeyed, if only to have fun.

"Hell no, goat."

Everyone gasped.

Boq tugged his sleeve. "Elphie, since when did you get so…so…scandalicious?"

"Since always, shorty. When did you become so nerdy?"

Tears filled the Munchkin's eyes. FiE rotated in his seat to get praise and air high-fives from his friends, but only GiF was giggling (in a very girly way). Everyone else was gaping, and EiG was almost out cold.

Dillamond scowled. "Everyone, please take a 15 minute break and get control of yourselves." He walked into his office. "I need an aspirin."

GiF rushed up to Pfanee and ShenShen. She needed to talk to them; she had some very important news. "Ohmigod guys, I just got the cutest pink shoes—"

Oh, crap.

"Fiyero, you're a guy." Pfanee pointed out. "Is there something we need to know…?"

She reddened. "Uh, no. I, um, meant to say Glinda just got the cutest shoes. And, um, she told me to tell you because she had to…um…go…" GiF stammered.

Just then EiG appeared.

"Oh, hey, Glinda, Fiyero was just telling us about the shoes."

"Uh…what…shoes?"

Pfanee and ShenShen looked very suspiciously at GiF.

"Um, the shoes you just told me to tell them about, remember?" GiF stared pointedly at EiG, who thankfully caught on.

"Oh, right, sorry, I'm such an airhead." EiG accidentally-on-purpose dissed.

"No you're not, Glinda sweetie." GiF glared.

Just then, FiE slouched over. "Hey, what's up?"

Pfanee and ShenShen looked surprisedly at who they thought was Elphaba.

"So, wanna skip the rest of class and go get ice cream? I'll get Avaric." Fiyero asked them nonchalantly. Pfanee and ShenShen gaped. EiG closed her eyes and rubbed her temples.

"Elphaba, shouldn't you be talking to Dillamond about the Animal Ban instead of skipping class the way Fiyero would?" EiG glared pointedly at FiE.

"Ohhh, right." FiE considered. "No."

Everyone stared.

"I'm gonna go find Av. Be right back." FiE ran over to Avaric.

"But you hate Avaric," ShenShen said to his/her retreating back in confusion.

Boq came over to their group. "Glinda, can I talk to you?" he asked EiG.

"No! No!" frantically mouthed GiF. All she could think at the moment was my reputation will be ruined!

"Sure, Boq." EiG followed Boq outside. She turned to the Munchkin, who still looked wounded from FiE's comments. "What's up?"

"Well…you know I sort of like you, right?"

Sort of? He was insanely in love with her, for Oz sakes!

"Yes, Boq, I do."

He froze. "You called me Boq!"

"Yeah, that's your name."

"But…but...you always call me Bic!"

"I do? Oh, yeah, I do, don't I? Well, I've decided to change my self-centered ways." Elphaba said loudly enough that Glinda, in the classroom, could hear.

"That's wonderful—I mean, not that you are self-centered or anything." Boq babbled. "But, anyway, I was wondering if…if…you could kiss me…"

He looked like a puppy, begging for a bone. EiG couldn't bear to let him down. But she had to.

"Boq, I would love to, but—"

She couldn't get any further, for he had pressed his lips on hers, passionately kissing her. At least until the dizzy sensation, familiar to EiG, but not Boq came over that them.

"What the…" BiG looked down, surprise etched on his newly feminine face.

EiB stared down at her short, squat body. "I can explain."

"Please do." BiG said. He emitted a low whimper. "Why…am I…well, you?"

"All right. First, you need to know that I am not Glinda. I am Elphaba in Glinda's, never mind, your body."

"Huh?"

So EiB explained to BiG what had happened. His expression became even more bewildered throughout the story and his glossy mouth was wide open.

"So…whenever we kiss, we switch places?"

"I guess so." EiB sighed, praying she could switch with someone soon.

"Do we switch back by kissing?"

She shook her head. "Fiyero and I think that if we kiss again, we will actually become each other. So don't kiss me again, okay?"

Now he looked like a kicked puppy.

"I'm sorry, Boq."

"I…I thought Glinda actually liked me!" he blubbered.

EiB rolled her eyes. "Let's go tell Glinda and Fiyero the news."

The two of them walked into the classroom and approached Avaric, GiF and FiE.

"Listen, guys." Elphaba began hesitantly. "Um, I don't know how to say this…Boq, you wanna tell them?"

GiF and FiE exchanged a confused glance.

"Elphie, why is Boq in my body?" GiF asked slowly.

AN: Lol. You like? I promise there will be a lot more chaos later on, if that wasn't a lot. Reviews are love! Seriously, please review. All reviewers get cyber ice cream!