Trinity Blood Jeopardy

Mari: Welcome back to Trinity Blood Jeopardy. I am Mari Kazara and I am filling in for Alex who couldn't make it tonight. It seems he has some very enthusiastic vampire fans and luckily we found him before it was too late. But he will be in the hospital for some time.

That having been said let's take a look at the scores.

Able Nightroad is in first with -30,000 dinars…….

Able: (to self) Sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar, sugar……..

Mari: …..who appears to have turned into a hyperactive six year old.

Second place with -35,000 dinars is Queen Esther…...

Esther: I can't believe I made it to the finials. I have worked so hard for this.

Mari: ….who thinks she is on a reality television talent show.

In last place with -40,000 dinars, the only contestant to try to rig the contest while on stage with the camera rolling, Radu Barvon.

Radu: Everyone's against me because I am a member of the Rozencruez Orden. That's why I am in last place!

Mari: No, it's because you when you buzzed in you tried to bribe me for the answers and when that failed you tried to bribe various electronic devises around the stage.

Radu: Can I have a drink of water?

Mari: No, you may not.

(She ignores him)

Better luck to the rest of you.

It's time for double Jeopardy lets take a look at the board

The categories are "Potent Popes", "Things That Are Sweet", "Royalty in This Room", "Things That Go Boom"," Famous Cruzniks", and" Nun The Wiser".

Radu since your in third place you go first.

Radu: I'll take "Poetry" for 500.

Mari: That's not a category.

Radu: Is the question "What is a metaphor?"

Mari: We are NOT DOING POETRY!

Radu: But we didn't do it last time, we should do it this time.

Mari: It doesn't work that way.

Radu: Why not?

(She ignores him again)

Mari: Abel, why you don't pick next.

Abel: I'll pick "Things that are sweet" for 200.

Mari: The category is "I am a candy that looks like cotton."

Abel: um…..What is sugar?

Mari: That has been you answer for every question.

Abel: So….. I am right this time.

Mari: No.

Abel: (bursts into tears) I fallen into debt I can not repay, I have failed everyone.

Mari: You don't have to pay us the money, Abel.

Abel: I will never let anyone else pay for my mistakes.

Mari: It's just a game! It tells us who is winning and who is losing.

Abel: Oh….okay.

Mari: Esther it you turn, but since you're not even looking at the board, I'll choose for you.

"Royalty in this Room" for 400.

The category is "I am a female ruler."

Esther: ( She buzzes in and start singing)
You made me laugh, you made me cry, I don't know which side to buy
Your friends, they're jerks when you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

Mari: For the last time the buzzer is not a microphone.

(Abel buzzes in)

Mari: Yes, Abel.

Abel: I have to go to the bathroom.

Mari: You should have gone during the break.

Abel: I didn't have to go then.

Mari: Well, you have to hold it.

Mari: That's the buzzer and the answer was a "What is a Queen."

Radu: I was a queen once.

Mari: No you weren't and it your turn again.

Radu: I take "Francesco's Hickies" for 300.

Mari: That's Famous Crusnicks!

Radu: Good, because the answer would always be none…… unless he gave himself one (snicker, snicker)

Mari: Yeah, okay. The category is, "I am a Crusnicks and the only male besides Radu on this stage."

(Long pause)

Radu: Mari is there something you need to tell us about yourself.

Mari: Abel! It's Abel, you moron.

Radu: Oh, yeah I forgot about him.

Abel: Oh, boy it's my turn. I'll take "Nun the Wiser."

Mari: Anything to get this over with.

"This is what Esther was before she was queen."

(Abel and Radu look at Esther suspiciously)

Radu: Esther is their something you need to tell us about?

Abel: I can't believe the rumors are true.

Esther: I've been framed. Those pictures were totally doctored. There just trying to throw me out of the competition.

Mari: She was a nun! A nun you idiots!

Radu: Oh yeah, huh.

Abel: Oh well, then I guess that's okay.

Esther: I still want that picture of me as a road kill bunny taken off the internet.

Radu: Did you see the one with Leon in a bikini.

Abel: (snickers) maybe that one wasn't doctored.

Mari: And it's time for Final Jeopardy

The Final Jeopardy category is "what are you wearing."

Just write down what you're wearing, right now.

(music starts)

You can put clothes, shirt, pants, shoes, anything.

Mari: Let's get this over with.

Radu……. has set his podium on fire.

Radu: It seemed to be the right thing to do.

Mari: Moving on let see what Esther has put down.

Mari: It appears that Esther has signed her autograph to the screen.

Esther: It will be worth a lot of money some day.

Mari: And she has wagered…..a forgery of several other famous people.

Esther: Oh, common. It not like anyone actually checks those things.

Mari: And finally let see what Abel wrote.

Apparently he wrote "I'm sorry" 56 times.

And he wagered "his immortal soul."

Abel: I'm doom for all time.

Mari: That's it for Trinity Blood Jeopardy. I am going home and slam my head in a door.

I always thought the SNL Celebrity Jeopardy was hilarious and wanted to do it with Trinity Blood.

However SNL skits rely a lot on visual comedy and I not sure if I pulled it off.

I'll have to see by your reviews.