So yeah, this is my new fandom because... it won't leave me alone. And Joker/Batman are so cute and twisted and wonderful. So this is very comic verse (Because Nightwing and Robin are in it.)

After many years of working for Master Bruce, also known as Batman, Alfred was used to a lot of strange things. He was not, however, prepared for what greeted him that particular morning.

"Master Bruce," he said as calmly as he possibly could manage. "There appears to be a man in your bed."

"Yes," Master Bruce said slowly.

"It appears as if that man is the Joker."

"Yes, Alfred thank you, I was aware of that."

The Joker giggled for lack of a better word.

Alfred paused. "Shall I go make some breakfast then, Master Bruce?"

"Breakfast?" The Joker perked up. "Can you make waffles?"

"No, thank you Alfred. Can you create a distraction instead?"

Alfred blinked through the Joker's protests that he wanted waffles. "How long of a distraction, Master Bruce?"

"Excuse me, Alfred?"

"Well Sir, are we just trying to sneak him out the back or," and here he stopped to give his master a pointed look.

Bruce twitched. "Sneaking out the back. Tim seems to have a habit of running in at the worst moments."

"But," the Joker protested. "I want breakfast. And morning sex."

Bruce was about to say something when he was interrupted. Alfred stood by stoically as the Joker convinced his master maybe an hour long distraction would be better than a fifteen minute one.

"Right then," Alfred said. "I'll go make breakfast. And create a distraction."

Outside the door he paused to think. "Maybe I should put Vodka in the orange juice." Just as he was considering the pros and cons of such a course of action, Tim shot by him right for the room. "Master Tim--!" he started.

"No time to talk. The Joker's escaped Arkam again and we have to--." The Boy Wonder froze and slowly shut the door. "Alfred," he said carefully, as if the words were about to destroy his entire world. "Have you seen Bruce today?"

"Yes."

"And did that look like the Joker. In bed. With him?"

"Yes."

"Was it?"

"I believe so, Master Tim."

"Oh. I'm going to… go… now… somewhere… else." Tim paused at the top of the stairs and twitched. "Call me later Alfred. When they're… erm, normal again."

"That may never happen again as you once knew it, Master Tim."

Another twitch and the boy was gone. Alfred sighed, and started down the stairs, just in time to see Dick burst through the door and come running up the stairs. "Tim called, he said the Joker had escaped again--."

"Wait!" Alfred called but it was too late again.

"So," Dick paused. "Have you caught him or is the investigation ongoing?"

"Ongoing! NOW GET OUT OF MY ROOM."

"Maybe you should invest in a lock, Batsy."

I do plan on doing more of this fic. I have ideas. Of fluff. Who'd have thought of them being FLUFFY? The world's going to end, I can tell. (And yes, the Joker knows Bruce is Batman. More on that later.)

Ah, I forgot to mention! This is so for Fluffy2044.