The Unauthorized Biography of Jonathan Sheppard by AndromedaMarine

Chapter Six: Of Our Fathers

I realize now that I only mentioned the original military leader only once. Perhaps my reasoning was he wasn't really a leader at all; I mean he only went on one mission through the gate and then whoosh! Dang dart sucked Colonel Marshal Sumner and a few others up into the belly. Maybe it's my insatiable urge to get everything I possibly can onto the paper, but one thing I'd never given much thought to was the Colonel's family. Keep in mind that I'm not wavering on the subject of John quite yet; remember that this is really a biography of Atlantis.

Question: does everyone have a father? Answer: yes. That may have seemed gratuitous (or redundant; you pick which you like better), but I have a point. You're probably thinking Please! Just get on with it! Now I have a task for you. Think of the United States military on Earth. Think of every man and woman who is serving right now in a war someplace. Think of everyone who's died in battle – they who gave up their lives for the survival of their families. Think of your own father, brother, son or uncle. What would you do if he died in war? If your home was invaded during the night and they never woke to the morning? Those are the questions I ask myself about Colonel Sumner. Maybe he'd thought about his family in those last moments of his life – but I hadn't been there to see them; that was John. It took him almost ten years to finally tell me what happened on that first rescue operation.

Oftentimes people put on that mask to hide their true feelings or what's really going on in their lives. The spurious faces fool everyone but those they're closest to. John only had about three who could see through his mask. Elizabeth, Teyla, and I could all tell when he was hiding something behind the mask. He would avoid eye contact and make excuses to evade everyone he didn't want to have contact with. Every conversation was curtailed. It took me about an hour to hack into his file (for which he later made me spar with Ronon and Evan in tandem) and learn that the day he sported the mask was the anniversary of his father's death. That brings me back to the questions and thought processes that plagued my mind for what seemed like years.

We are all of our fathers. Every bit of us down to the individual cells tells us where we came from. I'm sure Carson had a fancy-schmancy gizmo, thingamajig, doohicky or whatchamacallit that could tell us exactly what region of Europe my great-to-the-nth-power grandfather was from. But that's not what mattered – what mattered was what made him who he was (ooh, tongue-twister). John was a Sheppard (not in the literal sense, but I hope you get my rather off-topic drift). Every bit of him was Sheppard. I guess if you connected everything with invisible lines that would mean that everyone John is blood-related to (not including descendents) is also ascended. I know he's probably staring at me with wide-open eyes and about to ask that inevitable question: "Rodney, what on earth are you talking about?" My initial reply would be along the lines that the phrase 'what on earth' doesn't really apply any more, considering we're in another galaxy.

If John had to use one word to describe me he'd say I'm an arrogant, egotistical, know-it-all scientist who doesn't seem to know when to shut up. My point being that he'd have to use thirteen words to say what he wanted. My word for me is assiduous. It means that I'm diligent and persistent. And God knows I am. I mean, look at me! I'm writing a god-damn biography at ninety years old and it's not even for me! My digression is unnecessary, I assure you, but bear with me.

John's personality makes me wonder what his father was like. Was he involved in John's early childhood? Did he encourage John to apply to the Air Force? Did he approve of his son's deployment into Afghanistan, or his reassignment to Antarctica? Were John's parents married? Did John have siblings? Looking back, I wish I'd asked these questions of my father. I wonder if John asked John Sheppard Sr. And that's the key: wonder. Imagination. Interrogation of the deepest corners of our minds. How long have we been alive; we as a species? What has it been...sixty-five, one hundred million years? How long until the end of the universe? Who will finally misuse technology and collapse the walls of my playground? Our curiosity comes from our fathers. It comes from the first human to ask a question (Eve, if you want to get religious). That simple change in the voice; the tacking of a squiggly line on top of the period. Curiosity hasn't killed my hedgehog yet, and I witnessed the day when John proved that his hedgehog was alive till the end. It can be our destruction, our end. But without it we would be without existence. Given to us by our fathers, it is an inalienable right that will stay with us until it spells our doom. Oh, the melodrama.

John did answer the questions when I asked him. After I did, I encouraged my children to ask me the same ones, and John did so with his kids as well. It proved that the wonder, imagination, curiosity – is of our fathers. That is what we are. We are humans, the dominant species in the Milky Way and Pegasus. Our curiosity has spelled tragedy, as was seen with Colonel Marshal Sumner, but it was our link to the future. It brought us from Earth to Pegasus; from the Messianic age to the present. From the bow and arrow to energy pulse guns. From the spear to the staff-weapon. From the slingshot to the zatnicatel.

We are of our fathers.