I couldn't do it anymore, I couldn't pretend like I didn't know what was going on or what he was doing.

Little did he know I had seen them together on more than one occasion and in more than one compromising position.

I thought I could handle his cheating…thought that it was my fault…that I hadn't loved him enough, didn't please him enough…I thought I could ignore it. I was wrong…so very wrong.

I sat on our couch, a glass of red wine in my hand, and I stared at the photo of us when we had taken a rare vacation to Hawaii right after we had gotten together.

I had been ecstatic then, so unbelievably happy that Gil Grissom had finally thrown me a bone after seven years of toying with my heart. I guess I just hadn't been ready to believe or except the fact that I hadn't been good enough for him…that we weren't the perfect couple so madly in love with each other that I had always envisioned us to be.

I knew he would be getting home late tonight…he would walk in expecting me to be waiting up for him, he would apologize for being late but he had to work a double on an important case…even though I had already called the lab and they had said he already left four hours ago. He would smell like her and I would catch her sent in my nose as he would lean forward to kiss me lightly on the check in greeting. I would say 'no problem', that I understood having to work a double, I did it often myself, he would give me a small smile and then head upstairs for a shower.

I would finish off the fifth glass of wine that I had poured myself that night and go to the guest bedroom to sleep, unwilling to sleep next to him when I knew he had just come home from loving her.

The next morning I would be out the door for work before he even woke up…when I got home at night he would be gone…and I would be reduced to the tears that seemed to be all I was worth these days.

But tonight was different…I was leaving tonight, I couldn't take it anymore. Nick had talked to me after work…Grissom's "secret" love affair with Catherine was no secret in the lab, everyone knew. I got pitying looks from everyone and Grissom and Catherine got treated like the shit bags they were…but it never made me feel better.

Nick…my good friend Nick. He had caught me in the locker room before I was about to leave for my empty townhouse. I talked to him frequently…he was the only one I talked to. He was concerned…he said I looked thin and asked if I had been eating. I said of course I was but that answer sounded like a lie even to my own ears. I had to be thinner for Grissom…maybe he would touch me then.

He said he knew what Grissom and Catherine were doing…and he said that I should leave. Leave him or leave town he left that decision up to me, but his point was that I deserved more and better. He was right I knew, and tonight…I was going to take back what Grissom had taken from me years ago…my life.

I heard the door open and the expected "Ummpff" As Grissom tripped over my bags that sat at the front door.

He walked into the living room and I looked up at him to see the curiosity in his eyes that almost made me laugh.

"Sara, what's going on?" Grissom asked in an even voice.

"I'm leaving…I was just waiting to say goodbye, I didn't feel leaving a letter would be right." I said as I stood my voice cold and withdrawn.

I saw him flinch and then he asked "Why?"

I laughed then…the pain and reality that he didn't want me long ago faded away and hatred the only emotion eminent.

"You're kidding right. Look back on this past year and you'll have your answer. I'm done being cheated on." I said putting my cards on the table.

"Sara…you…you can't leave…you just can't." Grissom stuttered perplexed at the fact that I was leaving.

"Why can't I leave Grissom…you don't need me and don't act like you do. You don't need me to talk…to touch…to enjoy. You have Catherine for that. Do me a favor and just let me go…you have Catherine…I need someone too…I'm going to find that someone." I said as I walked into the kitchen.

Grissom followed. "Sara…I'm sorry…"

"Grissom don't pretend like you're sorry, you know you're not…I know you're not…if you were you would have stopped the first night you heard my tears and don't pretend like you haven't heard them." I said as I put my glass in the sink and then headed for the front door.

"So this is it…you're just going to leave? What about your job?" Grissom asked using everything thing he had in his arson.

"Already taken care of…I have a great supervisor." I mocked Grissom slightly enjoying the hurt look on his face. "I have all my affairs in order 'per say' and I'm leaving." I said as I grabbed my jacket off a hook and put it on.

"Where will you go?" Grissom asked, watching me helplessly.

"You don't deserve to know that." I said as I took out my key ring.

"Sara, I just want to know that you're going to be okay, that where ever you go that you'll be alright." Grissom said.

"Grissom, you never cease to amaze me in the way that you can make a complete 360 turn around. For two years you cheat on me and love Catherine and love Catherine and hate me…look at me with disgust when I try to love you. What am I supposed to do…put my well being on hold so that you can feel comfortable? No, I'm done…we're done…we've been done for a while." I said as I handed him my house key.

"Sara don't go…"

"I hope you have a good life Grissom I really do…goodbye…that sounds so lame but there it is…goodbye." I said as I opened the door, took hold of my bags, and disappeared into the night.