Here is my first Alice/Jasper story! I have a running plot going about Carlisle and Esme kicking each of the Cullen couples out so they can have the house to themselves. Review and tell me if you think I should write Rosalie and Emmett being kicked out (i don't particuarly SEE them being adorable, just having a lot of sx...). I will definitely be writing a story about Carlisle and Esme when they finally kick everybody out and have the whole house to themselves...(sigh, I love C&Es)

read, and review, or I will tell my edward, emmett, jasper and carlisle team to beat your edward, emmett, jasper and carlisle team up. xDD

virtual thankyous and chocolate chip cookies for everybody who reviewed on "i prefer vampire doctors anyways."

disclaimer: no, i don't own twilight. yes, i know you all wish i do, because i would have put SO much more carlisle/esme and alice/japser fluff into it. XDDD

a.n: I'm just curious to know, does Jasper seem OOC? If he does, please review with the points at which he does.

Alice dragged Jasper through the thick forest behind the Cullen house

Alice dragged Jasper through the thick forest behind the Cullen house. "Why are you so wired?" Jasper demanded, and she laughed at him when he sent her a wave of comatose lethargy towards her.

"Because I'm about to make you so happy you're never going to make me stop shopping ever again."

"I doubt that. If I don't do it, Bella and Edward will."

She snorted daintily. "As if Bella could live without me feeding her closet."

"I'm sorry, but I don't think every woman alive is like you, what with your obsessive-compulsive spending problem."

"Which is why I married you and your bottomless bank account, right?"

Jasper laughed this time, and she smiled at the burst of joy it gave her to hear him laugh. He was always so blindsided by their overwhelming family, always hovering at the edges, never quite in the centre. She wished he'd take a more central part, but she understood why he didn't—he still thought he was the worst one in the group, that he didn't deserve a part in the Cullen family until he could control himself better. But since the Volturi had left, since Bella and Edward's lives had turned into perfect fairytales, since Jasper had realized that if he thought better of himself then he could be a better him, he had started to laugh more, had stopped just observing on the edges.

"I feel sorry for Bella."

"Sorry for her!" she said, jokingly indignant. "I think you should feel sorry for me. Do you know how tiring it is, trying to get her to wear good clothes?"

Jasper suddenly pulled her into his arms, his face buried at her neck. "Stop wasting so much time at a lost cause. We've got new competition for who took longest to stop crashing houses after marriage."

She grinned at him, foreseeing some hilarious competitions. "Let's see…man, I feel sorry for poor Edward, when Carlisle first turned Esme."

The disturbed feelings that came off Jasper next said what she didn't need to say. He made a face, making her laugh. "I'd so take the newborn armies over Carlisle and Esme all over each other everyday." He still held her in his arms, and the two of them just stood there for a while, perfectly still.

"How long did they take?"

"Edward said something like seven, eight years," Jasper muttered, his voice grossed out. "Can we not talk about our parents like this?"

"Can you not say 'our parents'? It disturbs me. Like incest."

"Okay, okay…Rose and Emmett were a solid ten years."

"Man, I'm glad we weren't around for that one either"

"Are you kidding? We have to watch them—and hear them—go at it practically every day."

"Edward…ha, Edward, the patron saint of all that's cute and fluffy and innocent…" Jasper laughed again. She sighed happily, deciding that she could show him the house that Esme and Carlisle had built the two of them later. Brand new. and perfectly suited to Jasper and Alice's tastes. Jasper's taste—anything with Alice in it. Alice's taste—giant closet. For now, she was content to sit here—Jasper had taken a seat by a big oak tree, inhaling some scent that Jasper had that made her dizzy.

"Innocent? You don't have to see their futures. I never want to see what Bella does with her hands to Edward ever again."

"You don't want to see their futures, I don't want to stand in the same room as them." Jasper rolled his eyes and then kissed his way down her jaw, causing her to go momentarily insane. "How long do you think they'll last?"

"They haven't even crashed one house yet," Alice breathed, when she could talk again. "They're nothing." Her tinkling laugh came out halfway before Jasper distracted her. Again.

"Esme said it was because they appreciated her handiwork too much to ruin it," Jasper said, his voice low and husky, arms tight around her waist, pulling her into his lap.

"Esme just doesn't want to admit her favorite son is too tame in bed," Alice laughed, then added, "Let's stop talking about Bella and Edward," Alice said, with a smile at her vision of what was to come today. Maybe she'd get no shopping done today, but she'd definitely get some other…much better things…involving Jasper…done.

"We rocked at the newlywed game," Jasper said. "Way more than Edward and Bella, anyways. Maybe not quite as much as Emmett and Rose…"

"They have a child." Alice added.

At the thought of Nessie, Alice felt Jasper give off a wave of happiness. Whether her niece knew it or not, she had every Cullen man in the house on their knees as soon as she looked their way. Carlisle was so smitten with his granddaughter that he'd taken to just staring at her for hours' on end, like Esme. Emmett, the big tough guy in the family, had taken to shooting murderous glares at any man past the age of five who cooed in Nessie's direction. Edward—god, Edward, Alice thought, shaking her head at his behavior towards his daughter. Edward treated Nessie the way he treated Bella, unable to turn down any of her whims, unable to look away from her, unable to control his doting. Jasper was almost the only disciplinarian in the whole family to Nessie—but it was the only way he knew how to show a fatherly kind of love, thanks to his own father and his military background. Tough love, he called it, but Alice knew that even military Jasper couldn't control his doting and spoiling of Nessie sometimes.

Not that the female half of the family was any better at not spoiling Nessie.

Jasper twisted her around in his lap—she was so tiny that he could actually just turn her around—and kissed her full on the lips, making her lose all train of thought, able to see only his beautiful gold eyes, a slightly different shade than everybody else's. Darker in places, lighter in others, she didn't know—she only knew they were the most beautiful thing she had ever seen and would ever see, knew that when they lived, when Jasper lived, her life was complete, that when they were filled with love for her—as they were now—her own heart felt like it would burst with joy, with pure happiness. She didn't know what she would do if Jasper was gone—she wouldn't be able to live, she knew. She wouldn't be able to move on, she wouldn't even be able to move. A big part of her would die, leaving behind only the part that could curl up in misery and wish for death to come quick. If he died, then she died with him, one rather than two people. Their souls were twined in an eternal embrace, unable to live without the other, and their love was one that was truly bottomless, so unfathomable even she did not know its true depth. The thought of her future, her very own, so filled with happiness, with love, her own eternity with Jasper, made her so happy she twined her fingers in his hair and kissed him with as much fervour she could.

"Whatcha thinking about?" he asked, against her lips. "You're giving off so much 'happy' you could compete with Bella."

"I'm thinking about you," she said with a smile. "And how much I love you, and how happy our future is."

A starburst of bliss, of ecstasy, of delight so pure it was the most potent feeling she'd ever felt, shot through the air. He smiled at her, his smile so righteously—Alice borrowed the word from Bella—dazzling it made her head spin and her limbs weak. "Can't control my emotions," he said quietly.

"Good," she said, kissing him softly. "I like I'm the only thing that makes you lose control now."

"You will be the only one that will ever make me lose control," he grinned at her. "Blood's nothing compared to you," he inhaled her own scent like it was the most tantalizing thing in the world—she could never find what was special about her annoying virginal scent of roses and various other boring flowers, but he did. She could never name his scent—she called it "Jasper" in her head, often making Edward laugh at her thoughts when she thought something like I have to find out what Jasper is really exasperatedly.

Edward'd always say "I know he's not that normal, but you were the one to marry him." She pondered the possibilities. It was a sweet smell, like all vampires, but it was different from Edward's lilac scent—that made Bella's future go from "I'm going to feed Nessie now" to "I'm going to sneak back into my cottage with Edward and do things with him that will make my sister Alice nauseated when she sees the vision." It was definitely different from the woodsy-sweet smell that Emmett gave off, the one that made her want to veer away from Rosalie's future too. Not Carlisle's sunny-sweet smell—the one, she would add, even in fear of sounding repetitive, that made her the most nauseated of all when she saw Esme's reaction to it. Well, she could well handle her siblings wanting to jump their respective husbands' bones, but her mother jumping her father in her visions? Now, that was a new level of gross…

Back to what exactly Jasper smelled like…

Jasper frowned. "Why're you confused…and disgusted?"

Alice, caught off-guard, knew that this was a moment when she would have blushed like Bella used to if she still could. "It's ridiculous," she murmured. "Don't ask."

"Nothing you feel would ever be ridiculous," he replied deftly, as if he'd said the words a million times before—which he probably had…

"You know, you've never had to stand in the same room as Rosalie, Bella and Esme when Emmett, Edward, and Carlisle walk in. You'd be grossed out too, if you could see what they were going to be doing for the next twelve hours." She deflected away from her pondering what he smelled like—he'd probably laugh at her and then blackmail her with it later.

"I can't see it, but I can feel it. It's much worse, trust me, when you're hanging out with guys when their wives walk in and you can feel everything that's running through them." Now Jasper looked just as grossed out as she did. "I feel the worst for poor Edward, though. He can't even escape what Emmett thinks about Rosalie every minute of every day."

"Jeez, don't feel sorry for him. Have you ever walked past that cottage during the night? Or heard what's coming from it? I'm telling you, Nessie should move into the main house. She's going to be scarred for life by her parents' overactive sex life."

Jasper raised his eyebrow. "Overactive? They haven't even crashed through the house yet, you said it yourself."

"Just because they're both freakishly tame for vampires, doesn't mean they can't scar Nessie."

"If she moved into the main house, she'd be freakishly scarred by Emmett and Rosalie, and worst of all, Carlisle and Esme. I mean…watching your grandparents…that's just…wrong."

"You left out you and me," Alice reminded him with a small smile. She leaned into kiss him again, careful not to let herself lose control—if she did, she'd never get around to showing him the house, and they'd end up doing exactly what would scar Nessie on the forest floor.

Jasper pulled away first, but leaving his lips only inches from hers—a fairly dangerous place to leave them, if he wanted to talk to her inside have her attack him with kisses. "You and I…we wouldn't just scar her, we'd practically leave her running to a mental hospital if she moved in with us."

Alice rolled her eyes. "We are not that bad."

"Oh, yes we are. You know, I heard Esme 'casually' mentioning to Carlisle the other day to 'build a house' for us. Esme and Carlisle code, of course, for booting us out of the main house 'cause we have more fun than they do."

"Ha. And Edward thinks we're so emotionally-deep and stuff."

Jasper raised his eyebrow again.

"Heard him telling Bella that once," she shrugged. "And will you stop that raising-your-eyebrow thing! You just had to learn it from Edward and Carlisle, didn't you?"

"Emmett's the only Cullen male who hasn't learnt it, because Emmett can't pull his brain away from Rosalie in her lingerie long enough to learn anything."

"The only person that you should mention with lingerie in a sentence is me," Alice said, smiling.

It was Jasper who rolled his eyes this time. "Still haven't gotten over the Amazonian sisters?"

"They're Amazon. Their people—women—were only supposed to mate with men to have children. Since they're also vampires, they're just not supposed to mate, since there's no purpose! Particularly they shouldn't want to mate with my husband. And two out of three of them, too."

"Like they care whether I'm married or not." Jasper looked a little smug.

Alice jabbed him really, really hard in the ribs. "You should watch it, Hale."

"I thought Zafrina was rather pretty, didn't you?"

Alice narrowed her eyes, knowing he was just messing with her, but she still did not like the feeling that crept through her. She couldn't help it, and she knew that he would be feeling her jealousy any minute now. Jasper was more attuned to her feelings than anybody else's, and he knew that the more he pushed on about how beautiful and skilled the Amazon sisters had been…

Why did Zafrina and Kachiri have to pick him? Jasper was hers, hers alone; she knew that it was rather selfish that she needed to hoard him away from everybody else, that she needed him more than anything, that she made him stay out of danger as often as she could, even at the expense of everybody else's safety—but he was hers! Everything about him, from the scars that made her hurt when she saw him—she was so, so sorry that he'd had to suffer that alone, that she had not been at his side, that she had never held him in her arms while he'd been in pain—that made her hurt. Just like Jasper could never quite bear to watch her sad or angry or hurt, she could never bear the idea of him hurting alone like he was so used to. Every other vampire—even Bella—had feared him when they'd first seen him up close. She'd been so overjoyed to see him that day in the dingy little diner that she would have given up her life for him right there and then. So beautiful, blonde and golden-eyed, Southern-gentleman-ish, charismatic, tough-and-silent Jasper was hers. Nobody was touching him but her, period. So there, she thought, waspishly annoyed at the thought of the inviting glances that the Amazons had sent Jasper.

He smiled, wide and happy, when he felt her jealousy. "You know, it's kind of sadistic for you to like making me jealous. And insecure," she added as an afterthought. She would never really feel insecure with Jasper, because she knew how much he loved her, could feel it in every touch, could sense it in his every action. But since he was messing with her, then she would mess with him.

"Insecure? You?" Jasper asked, surprised. "I don't feel it." Suddenly he was very solemn. "I'm sorry," he apologized immediately. "I didn't mean to make you feel bad." He breathed into her ear, kissing down her neck now. Pausing at her throat to send her a wave of happy, he looked up at her. "Did I really?"

She grinned at him all of a sudden, and he knew it wasn't because of his wave of happiness. She held his face between her hands. "You really love me, don't you? Poor thing."

"I agree. You should pity me, I love you much more than I should." He looked relieved. "I was so scared you were really…hurting."

"Because, like the insane person—vampire—that you are, you prefer yourself hurting rather than someone else hurting. So now you're sadistic and masochistic."

"Look who's talking," he said, pulling her closer to him. She was happy to correspond, and laid her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around her. "Edward told me why you wouldn't let me go to Italy when he went on his suicidal escapade. You realize that I almost tore Edward apart, for going to Italy and in turn dragging you to the Volturi? I swear to god, I would have torn apart the family if you hadn't come back and Bella and Edward did." He looked at Alice, agonized. "I really couldn't control it. All I could think about was how annoying Bella was, how much of a breakable human, ho melodramatic she was being...and now she's my sister, and I can't help but feel guilty. Edward was already my brother, so I could understand. Edward loves her like I love you…well, I wouldn't say quite as much as I love you, but he'd tell you different." He gave Alice a small smile. "But now you know just how much it tortures me when you're away." Alice kissed him softly after his speech, saying nothing but a whispered, "I love you, so much that it boggles my mind to think about it." She paused to kiss him again, then said, "Edward also told me why you went crazy when we were fighting off the newborns."
"Because I know how to fight them, you call me crazy? And when we get home, I'm going to threaten Edward's piano until he keeps his fat mouth shut."

"Jasper, I wish you hadn't let them all attack you just so I'd be safe. I would have been anyways, I could see it. And you were in so much pain; even Bella could see it with human eyes…"

She felt him shrug. "Would have been worse if it had been you hurt and not me. You and me fighting, okay. I'll let you win. But anybody else...they'd better keep their hands off you," he murmured against her lips. She bit him a little, just enough to let him know she was annoyed at the "I'll let you win" part.

"I so win fair and square when we fight," she protested, pulling away. "You just don't want to admit losing to a girl…"

"Whatever you say," he replied carelessly, pulling her back to him. "Oh, and I didn't miss the overprotective fool bit that day," he said.

"It's true."

"Eh, probably," he muttered. "It scares me a little, still, the amount of power you wield over me. Maybe that's why I was get dragged into the freaky shopping trips…Emmett told me last time we went hunting the only reason you pick me is because I'm the only person you can still send on a guilt trip…he called it "immunization against Alice."

Alice wound her arms around his neck. "Aren't you glad you have no immunization against me? Then you wouldn't be able to feel the effect I have on you." She knew exactly what effect she had on him—the same one he had on her. The one that made her lose all thought, that made her blindly need him, that made her head and body spin with lust and joy all at the same time whenever he touched her.

Jasper chuckled. "I guess," he thought, but then she pressed against him close enough to make him send a jolt of involuntary lust through the air. He changed his mind. "Definitely glad," he murmured, and pulled her lips to his.