Bashing the Fourth Wall

Summary: We all know Deadpool knows he's just another character in a comic book, but what happens when he tries to explain this to the X-men? Rated for 'Playboy'.

Deadpool had been hanging around the X-mansion for the past few weeks and he was starting to get on everyone's nerves, especially Wolverine's. He wasn't getting too far on Gambit's good side either, although Jubilee was enjoying his visit.

As luck would have it, Scott, Jean, Bobby, Rogue, Storm and the aforementioned X-men including Deadpool were all in the rec room. Rogue and Gambit were playing a game of pool; Scott and Jean were watching the two while drinking coffee; Bobby was listening to a discussion between Wolverine and Jubilee and Deadpool and Storm were watching a soap opera on the widescreen TV.

"You know, back at my place, we only have five channels. This thing's like the Taj Mahal to my crack shack!" Deadpool exclaimed during a particularly emotional part of Days of Our Lives.

"Big surprise there. Your place is a crack shack with a nerd to sell and buy it for ya." Logan broke off from his discussion with Jubilee.

"I…Okay, I'll give you that one. I've suspected that of Weasel for a few years now." Deadpool said.

"Hey, Deadpool, what's that?" Jubilee asked upon seeing two brightly colored magazines sticking out of his red and black bag that sat at the end of the faded blue couch he sat on. Deadpool and Logan both glanced at where she was pointing and saw the magazines. Logan cringed and Deadpool just smiled a little under his mask.

"That, my young—"

"And innocent," Logan insisted.

"And innocent friend, is a wonderful piece of literary history, called Playboy." He spoke the name as if it were a sort of god. Remy and Bobby both looked up, their interest piqued by the one word and Logan, Storm, and Jean rolled their eyes while Scott looked confused and Rogue glared at Remy.

"Not that…that. Bobby has plenty of those in his room." Bobby blushed while she pointed to the other magazine behind it. Deadpool picked up the other one, looked at it, handed it to her. She studied the cover and her expression was a confused one. The other X-men looked over her shoulder, each taking on their own confused faces as they did. Deadpool had a way of looking smug even with his mask on.

"Okay, what's this about, bub? Why are we in a magazine?" Logan questioned angrily.

"Remy says dis got ta be some kind o' joke."

"Deadpool, what scam are you trying to pull?" Scott asked.

"Yeah, just what are you tryin ta do?" Rogue said with a hand on her hip.

"It's not a magazine. It's a comic." Deadpool said, though it didn't explain anything to them. "I've tried to tell you this before. Our lives are dictated by people with pens and pencils who think it's funny to make up and tell our sob stories."

"Then why can I do this?" Jubilee jumped up in the air performed a roundhouse kick to the couch. "No one told me to do that!"

"Of course they did, but they don't want you to know it so they try to prove me wrong and make you do crazy stuff they think I think they wouldn't think of. It's all a conspiracy!" Deadpool shouted.

"I think he's finally cracked." Logan commented, staring at the masked man.

"Oui, homme. I t'ink I have ta agree wit' you on dat one." Remy said.

"Ahmen tah that, sugah." Rogue added.

After that, everyone left the rec room, except Deadpool who stayed to watch the end of Days of Our Lives.

The next morning, Jubilee, Logan, and Remy walked into the rec room to find Deadpool asleep on the couch. The image of a muscular, masked mercenary sleeping peacefully on a couch with the birds singing outside stirs up some odd emotions. Many would be afraid of such a sight, but Wolverine, the only one that had known the mercenary before his brushes with death, knew this was the image he was afraid for others to see in the unfortunate case that he might truly snap.

Jubilee smiled, knowing how much this moment showed the mercenary's true self. She had seen the sides of themselves that both Logan and Remy chose to hide and she respected and understood when she was met with someone who put on a show for others.

Just a little story idea I got one day while reading one of my Deadpool comics. As all Deadpool fans know, the 'Merc with a Mouth' loves to break down and demolish the fourth wall. I love this about him and have always wondered how the X-men would deal with this knowledge. I put this in the X-men section because, sadly, there is no Deadpool section.

Also, I added that part at the end because 1) I love showing the tough guys' soft sides and 2) I thought the whole thing was a little short. As always, read and review please.

-Phantom