Leviathan

It's me again, after some god awful long leave! Anyway, in my absence I was working on last half of Leviathan, until I realized that I had too many characters at the beginning and forgot about most of them by that time. I realized that I had written myself into a hole, and would require a major overhaul of every chapter. Of course, I could have simply decided to do away with the reviews begging for an update and simply delete the story, thus also eliminating the monkey on my back that was screaming in my ear to finish this fic. But I really did want to get this fic out there more than any other of my stories, so I've decided:

I'M STARTING FROM SCRATCH!!

So, enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Sly Cooper, I do not own any of the characters, hell, I don't even own any of the seasons from Scrubs, so what would be the point of this?

Leviathan

You Can't Always Get What You Want

Sly Cooper, master thief, prince of crime, was pissed. "Did you honestly think I would go through with this idea?"

The crippled turtle, Bentley, was before, looking rather surprised by his best friend's reaction. "I thought you'd like it. This sort of stuff is usually your forte…"

"But not a transatlantic cruise! You need to remember that I had an ancestor who was on the Titanic!" Sly growled.

Bentley moaned. "That was ninety-six years ago! Safety has come a long way from screwing the penniless immigrant. There are more than enough lifeboats to save all…"

"The water?" Bentley was getting tired of this.

"In springtime, yes, you'd be a frozen hunk of raccoon by forty-five minutes, but by this time of year, you'd sooner drown than freeze…"

"Which brings me to my next point…" Bentley gritted his teeth.

"It's your own fault for not learning to swim, just as it's your own fault for not trying to learn."

It was Murray though who had broken the monotony of Sly and Bentley's whiny Q&A. "What's not to love about cruises. I've heard that they can be romantic, just like that movie where that guy got to draw that chick naked and scored…"

Sly raised an eyebrow. "Do you even know how that movie ends?"

Murray said "I'm pretty sure they lived happily ever after and all that crap."

Sly huffed "The ship sinks, the dude dies, and so does about another couple thousand people, and the bad guys live. You never saw how it ended?"

"I fell asleep just after the cool part, you mean to tell me I had to sit through about two hours of crap to watch forty-five minutes of the best part. Man, when will movies cut through the bullshit and get to the juicy parts. Like Shoot 'Em Up! Who wouldn't want to watch a movie where a bad dude takes a carrot through the eye?"

Sly chuckled. Nobody ever expected Murray to be able to sit through anything monotonous unless there were intervals of action and violence. "Look Bentley, you and Penelope can go on this cruise, but maybe Murray and I will just go paint balling or sky-diving."

"That sounds great and all…" Murray shrugged. He didn't want to hurt his friend's feelings. "But I'm gonna go with Bentley on this one."

Sly sighed, laying back on the couch with his hands behind his head. "Fine guys, go. I'll be here by myself, with my thoughts."

"Do you need your left or your right hand for that?" Bentley smirked.

"Go to hell shell-boy, at least I can get back up when I'm knocked on my back!"

"Ouch," Bentley replied, clearly unfazed. "At least I wasn't caught in the orphanage's closet with vacuum…"

"Dude!" Sly yelled, surprised that Bentley would bring that up. "That was Murray!"

"Was it?" Bentley asked, shocked that he was wrong for once.

"Yeah, that was me," Murray said. "Sly was the one that caught in the closet with…"

"Never mind Murray," Bentley sighed. "Point is, while you're stuck alone here doing, whatever it is that you do in your alone time, we'll be on a cruise ship, enjoying ourselves immensely, and it will be no less a result of you not being around! HAH!"

Abruptly as this conversation had begun, it had ended, Bentley quickly wheeling himself out of room, Murray in tow. But in his haste, he had left his laptop sitting on the table in front of Sly, the internet browser still open to the website for the cruise ship. Sly sat down in front of the laptop, giving an aggravated sigh at the colorful website before him. "What the hell's so special about a cruise anyway?"

And then he began to click on the mouse…

…and exited the window.

Carmelita Fox answered the knocking on her office door with disdain for whomever had disturbed her train of thought. "What do you want Winthorpe?"

The scrawny, nerdy weasel gave a nervous smile. "Barkley wants you in his office as soon as it is convenient for you some time today."

"Might as well make it now," Carmelita grumbled. She stepped out of her office, pushing the nervous weasel out of her way and headed down the hall to Chief Barkley's office. Ever since the weasel joined Interpol, he had been a pain in her neck. He was making rather pitiful passes at her, but she would pretend like she wasn't paying attention to him, or more than often she would clearly show that she was not interested in going out for so much as a cup of coffee with him. But for being a nervous, little guy, he was uncharacteristically persistent. She didn't know what was more annoying, the direct pick-up lines from her more egotistical colleagues, or Winthorpe's failing attempts at romantic lines. Even Cooper was a better charmer, not that she had enjoyed any of his flirty, comments that he made as he continuously put out shot after shot of balls of electricity at him. She knocked on the door to the office, but entered before she was given the permission to. "You wanted to see me, sir?"

"Yes, there is, Inspector," Barkley said, pulling out a file. Carmelita could tell that it was her own service record. "Ever since you took on the Cooper Case, I've noticed a pattern."

Carmelita swallowed hard. Was he going to bring up her countless failures to bring him in? Was she going to be removed from the case?

"Since the start of the case, you haven't taken a single sick leave, let alone vacation time," Barkley said. "Hell, you've got about a year's worth of sick days and vacation time."

"What's this got to do with the Cooper Case sir?"

"It's got absolutely nothing to do with the Cooper Case!" Barkley yelled. "Since the beginning of this case you've been running yourself ragged all over the world chasing after some raccoon who apparently knows how to take a vacation- and he doesn't even have a real job!"

Carmelita gulped. "Inspector! Whether you like it not, I'm gonna have to force you into a vacation."

"What!?"

"For the next three weeks, I don't want to see you within a block of this building," Barkley commanded. "The Cooper Case isn't going to improve if my best inspector burns out because she wouldn't relax for a day on her couch. You and I both know that you are the only one capable of catching him, and the best way to do that is to wait out and put the pressure on him until he makes a mistake. And we can't very well act on that if you've become too much of a burnout to notice that flaw. Now, you can voluntarily take a month off, or I can suspend you for a month. Which will it be?"

Carmelita looked a little shocked, but inside her head, her mind had stopped. "I'll see you in three weeks, sir!"

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