Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Any way I was suffering from serious Toad and Brotherhood withdrawal so I came up with this silly piece of nonsense.

Teatime for Toad

Todd Tolensky was bored.

Very bored.

Very, very bored.

He finally gave in and hopped upstairs. He knew all the guys were out of the house doing other stuff. Lance was probably stalking Kitty at the track team practice or something. Fred was out looking for food somewhere and who knew what kind of insanity Pietro was up to. That only left one other person in the house.

"Tabby…" He knocked on her door.

"Go away," Came the response. "I'm doing my nails."

"I'm bored," Todd whined.

"Well what do you want me to do about it?" Tabitha snapped.

"Everybody else is doin' something," Todd pouted. "Why won't you do somethin' with me?"

"Because you are a disgusting little creep that's why!" Tabitha shouted.

"You're still mad about me trying to get into your room the other day aren't you?"

"Yes!" She stormed over to the door and opened it. "If I've told you once I've told you a hundred times to stay out of my room! Now go away!"

"I just wanted to see what was inside," Todd whined.

"Here!" Tabitha pointed inside. "Now you've seen it! Goodbye!"

"Tabby…"

Tabitha was about to slam the door on him when she caught a look on his face. His yellow eyes were big and looked very sad. He had a hurt look on his face as he crouched at the door. He made a whimpering sound.

"Oh all right!" Tabitha rolled her eyes. "I'll play with you, just don't look at me like that! Never let it be said that I didn't do anything for charity!"

"Really!" Todd's eyes lit up. "Cool! What do you wanna do?"

"Hmmm…?" Tabitha thought. An evil look passed over her face. "What to do? What to do? Shall we play beauty salon?"

Todd blanched. Tabitha enjoyed the look on his face. "How about dress up? No? Maybe we could try new perfume smells? Hmmm? How about a nice relaxing bath?"

"Uh, you know maybe I wasn't as bored as I thought…" Todd started to walk away. Tabitha grabbed him by the back of his shirt.

"Uh uh uh," Tabitha laughed. "You wanted to play, remember?"

"Please don't hurt me," Todd whimpered.

"Don't worry," She laughed. "I'll go easy on you, this time! Come on!"

She dragged him downstairs. "Now, let's play a nice little game!"

"Okay…" Todd replied weakly.

"Now," Tabitha looked around. "Bring out the tea set, and set up the table outside."

"Okay!" Todd felt relieved.

"And while you're doing that, I'll go get some things…" Tabitha smiled. "Be right back!"

"I should have known it was too good to be true," Todd groaned. "Well…I suppose it's better than doing nothing…" He sighed and resigned himself to the task at hand. Soon the table was set outside. Tabitha came out carrying some clothes. "Put these on."

"Why?" Todd asked.

"Because I told you to!"

"Okay," Todd took them. "Hey where'd you get the top hat?"

"From Speedy's room," She said. "Oh here, let me help you…"

She helped Todd put on a black jacket and bow tie and plopped the top hat on his head. Immediately it slid down and covered his eyes. Tabitha giggled. The jacket was way too big for him.

"You look so funny like that!" She laughed.

"Thanks a lot," Todd grumbled, trying to move the hat so he could see.

"Now sit!" She commanded.

"Hey yo, I'm a Toad not a dog," Todd grumbled as he sat down in his usual crouching position.

"Feet on the ground not the chair!" Tabitha ordered him.

"Awww," Todd groaned as he did so. He watched Tabitha pour the tea. He drank using his tongue to lap up the tea from the cup.

"Now I think this would be a good time to teach you some manners," Tabitha said. " Don't use your tongue to lick from the cup! Okay now pick up the cup and extend your pinky. Toad, that's not your pinky!"

"Sorry," Todd apologized.

"Okay now sip the tea slowly. No I said sip, not slurp!"

"That is how I sip!" Todd made a face. "This is how I slurp!" He promptly demonstrated.

"Okay go back to sipping," Tabitha rolled her eyes. "Now you may have a muffin, but use your hands!"

"Okay," Todd munched on it, crumbs spilling everywhere.

"Do you have to make a mess when you eat?"

"What do you want from me? I'm hungry!" Todd grumbled. "You're not being a lot of fun today."

"Okay," She breathed. "Okay. I'm just a little stressed that's all. I had a rough week in school and stuff. Kelly's been giving me dirty looks, and I think the X-Men are stalking me. And on top of it all I got a C on that stupid report I did. So I guess I am taking all out on you. I'm sorry. I need to chill out." She looked above her. "Hey! Butterflies! Cool!"

"Where?" Todd's hat had obscured his vision again.

"There!" She pointed to two butterflies in flight. "They're so pretty. So beautiful. So free."

Todd's tongue shot out and grabbed them. They were slurped down instantly. "So tasty! Yum!"

"TOOAAD!" Tabitha yelled. "That was…horrible!"

"What?" Todd asked. "They taste good! They do!"

"Oh I think I am going to barf!" She groaned. "Toad you do not eat butterflies! It's weird!"

"So is making those little firecrackers of yours but I don't complain when you do it!"

"I do not believe you!" Tabitha shouted. "How could you do that?"

"Easy I just launched my tongue and…"

"No! I can't believe you just ate those butterflies for no reason!"

"I did have a reason! I was hungry! I don't like this game anymore!" Todd hopped away. "You're too mean!"

"Fine! The last time I try to do anything nice with you, you little weirdo!" Tabitha stuck out her tongue. She then stormed into the house and went to get herself a drink of water from the fridge. She heard the front door. "Finally, someone with common sense in the house."

"Hey Rocky," She walked out to the front door. She couldn't believe her eyes. "What happened to you?"

Lance had a sour look on his face. He was soaking wet and there were stray flowers and leaves in his hair. "I don't wanna talk about it," He grumbled.

"Let me guess," Tabitha thought. "Another Kitty related disaster? Am I right?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Lance glared as he stomped into the kitchen.

"She pushed you into the pond again didn't she?" Tabitha laughed.

"No she did not!" Lance grabbed a dishtowel and started to drive himself off. "I fell in," He muttered.

"We're home!" Pietro zipped in. Fred lumbered in after him carrying a huge sack over his shoulder.

"Hey what'cha got in the bag guys?" Lance asked.

"Oh we had a great hall!" Pietro told them as Fred opened the bag. "We got tons of candy bars!"

"Candy?" Tabitha looked puzzled. "Halloween was last week."

"We know. We raided all the vending machines from around town!" Fred smiled. "I love gumballs!"

"Not only did we get a decent candy stash we got crackers, pop tarts, and enough soda for a week!" Pietro crowed. "Or two hours. Depending on how thirsty Fred gets." He looked at Lance. "What happened to you?"

"Fell in the pond," Tabitha explained.

"A Kitty disaster?" Fred asked.

"You bet," She replied.

"I'm going to my room!" Lance growled and left for upstairs. The others snickered behind him.

"Ohh! Lifesavers!" Tabitha grabbed some candy. "I love these! Hey, what are you doing back here?" She asked Lance who was back in the kitchen.

"Tabitha," Lance asked, his face was pale. "Did anything happen with Toad today that we ought to know about?"

"Well, the little guy was complaining about being bored so I had a tea party with him," She shrugged. "But he was being so totally disgusting. That kid has no manners!"

"I see…" Lance trailed off.

"I mean, I tried to teach him some but he just ignored me!" Tabitha went on. "He really has a knack for annoying people. You know."

"Tabitha…did he eat anything strange?" Lance asked.

"Well he had some muffins and a couple of butterflies that were flying by…" Tabitha began.

"Butterflies!" Fred shouted. "Oh no…!"

"Not butterflies!" Pietro groaned.

"What?" Tabitha was confused. "What did I say?"

"When Toad eats butterflies he gets…a little hyper," Lance explained.

"What do you mean?" Tabitha looked puzzled. "How hyper?"

"YEEEEEEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" A loud cry rang though the house.

"I see," Tabitha said.

"What's worse is he reverts to this little kid mode," Lance rolled his eyes. "When he was little, he didn't get that much attention so…"

"I get the picture," Tabitha groaned.

"What's he doing up there?" Pietro wondered and zipped upstairs.

"Pietro wait!" Lance warned.

"AAAAAAGGGGGGGGH!" Pietro screamed.

"Too late," Lance rolled his eyes. They all went to the stairs. Pietro walked down. He was covered in shaving cream from head to toe.

"He set off those homemade shaving cream bombs again didn't he?" Fred asked.

"I tried to warn you," Lance chuckled shaking his head.

"Shaving cream bombs?" Tabitha asked.

"It's something we all came up with a while ago," Pietro wiped the foam from his eyes. "Covers a whole area in shaving cream. The entire hallway's full of it!"

"Boy you really must have said something to him Tabby," Fred said. "He only uses those on us when he's really ticked off. Aw man!"

Shaving cream slowly began to seep down the stairs. "We'd better get up there before he really causes some damage," Lance sighed. "Well let's go! I'm already wet and Pietro you're covered in it."

"Tabby should go too!" Pietro snapped. "She caused it!"

"You know I think I'd forgotten something!" Tabby said backing out. "Oh yeah, gotta go to the library! See ya!"

No one tried to stop her as she escaped out the door. "Figures," Pietro sniffed angrily.

"We'll all go. Here," Fred handed out some snorkeling masks. "I kept these from last time."

"Good thinking Freddy," Lance said, putting on his mask. "Gentlemen, let's move out!"

They waded into the waist high foam. "Man he must have set off a couple of these!" Fred remarked.

"Careful, there's stuff all over the floor. I tripped over something and fell before," Pietro warned. "Now gentlemen, ve vill go searching for the elusive Toad!"

"Oh great he thinks he's Jacques Cousteau again," Lance groaned.

"Come vith us as ve explore zee foamy deep," Pietro ignored him, staying in character. "Vat new strange lifeforms shall ve see?"

"Over there!" Fred pointed out. "Tabby must have forgotten to lock her door again!"

"Suddenly one of zee crew members spots something," Pietro went on. "Eet looks like a passage way. Have ve finally tracked down our elusive prey?"

"I should have went with Tabby," Lance sighed.

"Onward! Dive! Dive! Auooogahhh!" Pietro went under the foam making submarine noises.

"Pietro come on, the door's open," Lance said, making his way to Tabitha's room.

Pietro gasped as he came up. "By this time my lungs were bursting with air!"

"Come on man, we don't have time for you playing pretend!" Lance said as they made their way inside. There were dots of foam all over the rug and walls. "Found him!"

"Boingy, boingy, boingy!" Todd laughed as he bounced on the bed.

"I think we're in luck," Lance told the rest of the team. "He seems kind of calm. Okay Toad, what happened."

"Tabby was mean to me so I decided to play by myself!" Todd laughed as he bounced on the bed. "Hey guys! Look what I can do!"

"Toad don't draw on Tabby's ceiling with crayon!" Lance scolded. "Use markers. They'll last longer!"

"Okay!" Todd happily complied.

"You know this room does need some serious redecorating!" Pietro smirked.

"I agree," Lance smiled. "She needs to be taught a lesson."

"What do you think, spray paint or something else?" Pietro asked.

"Gentlemen this is a lady's boudoir," Fred smiled. "I suggest something in glitter. Lots of glitter. And toilet paper. Gives it more of a feminine touch, don't you think?"

"Great idea!" Lance smiled. "And let's not forget the shaving cream. I think we should put some in her pillows."

"And in her drawers," Pietro smiled.

"I've got the ceiling covered!" Todd shouted as he bounced. "But I think we should do something else! Trashing her room isn't enough!" Todd did a flip and stuck to the ceiling with a mighty bounce.

"Oh?" Lance raised an eyebrow. "You have something in mind?"

"Oh yes," Todd laughed maniacally.

Several hours later, Tabitha figured it was finally safe to return home. "Hey guys?" She peeked through the front door. "Where are you? Is it safe? Where are they?"

She went upstairs and found the way blocked by decomposing shaving cream. "Oh yucko!" She came downstairs. "I'm not going up there. Guys? Maybe they're in the back yard?"

Tabitha found them in the back yard. They were dressed in top hats and colorful jackets having a tea party. What was truly horrifying was what they had used her underwear to decorate the nearby trees and shrubs.

"WHAT ARE YOU PERVERTS DOING?" she shrieked.

"It's a new game!" Lance smirked. "Tea with Tabby's Underwear!"

"And you can eat as messily as you want!" Todd stuck his tongue out at her.

"That's it! You clowns are so dead!" She threw an energy bomb right into the middle of the table. The boys escaped as it exploded. Tabitha raced around the backyard, chasing the boys.

"Can't catch me!" Pietro zipped around. "Can't catch me!"

"Fine," Tabitha decided to go after a slower target. She started lobbing her energy balls at Fred.

"Yo! Tabby!" Todd called out, waving a pair of pink panties. "Over here! Toro! Toro!"

"Give that back!" She shouted, forgetting Fred and charging at Todd.

"Come on Tabby!" Todd waved them like a bullfighter. He leapt out of the way at the very last second. "Ole!"

"Why you little…!" She fumed as her energy bombs missed Todd.

"Hey Tabby!" Lance waved a pair of white panties. "Over here!"

"No wonder he doesn't have any manners!" She screamed as she threw her energy bombs. "You are all animals! HEAR ME? ANIMALS!"

"Well next time don't leave us with a wild Toad," Pietro stuck his tongue out at her. "Especially after you get him riled up in the first place!"

"Yeah Tabitha," Lance told her. "It's time you learned that your actions have consequences!"

"Maybe I should go back to the X-Men!" Tabitha fumed.

"Can we get that in writing?" Pietro asked.

"Die Speedy!" She snarled hurling another bomb at him.

Pietro shook his head as he easily dodged it. "Tsk. Tsk. Tabby, Tabby, Tabby. When will you ever learn? Hmm. You stuff your bra don't you?"

"AAGGGGGHHH!" She chased them around. The boys raced in the house and barricaded the door.

"I don't think she's going to make the mistake of leaving her door unlocked again!" Pietro giggled.

"You think she's mad now," Todd laughed. "Wait till she sees what I put in her sheets!"